You are very lucky - many families are not. And I'm not suggesting anyone force anyone to do anything. But marriages are always about compromise and kids bring that compromise to the forefront, b/c now there's a 3rd party that is entirely dependent on both of you. Experience taught myself and my husband that plans go out the window when you have a dependent 3rd party whose needs you can't entirely predict. No one knows whether they'll be the one to have the unexpected preterm baby who needs NICU (BTDT), the baby with failure to thrive and colic (BTDT), or a child with special needs (BTDT). We originally both worked FT (1st 4 years of our marriage) and made about the same salary and were quick advancers when I was 1st pregnant. And that pregnancy, birth, and 1st year taught us we'd be better as a family if one of us focused on their job and getting ahead and one of us focused on the family. And that worked, and worked well. Does my husband offer me every year the chance to go to law school on his dime (my plan before we got pregnant)? Yes, b/c he wants to make me happy. Do I take him up on it? No, b/c I don't need it now to be happy or for us to be financially okay. Could we be better off? Sure, but then I think of the stress and unhappiness we had trying to keep up 2 high speed jobs that 1st year and I never regret it. Til you live how it goes, I wouldn't make hard "it will be this way" plans for "this reason." You really won't know how either of you will totally feel til the baby gets there and you start to live it.