Disrespectful comment ??

[kawing123]

My daughter was getting ready to leave the house and I said to her in front of her boyfriend that her shirt was to low to button one button and he replied
"SHOWING OFF THE GOODS" right in front of me. I find it arrogant and disrespectful. Agree of disagree

 

[MizTink]

agree that it was disrespectful, but not surprised at all

 

[brockash]

Completely agree. He sounds like a loser. -It's a pretty big pet peeve of mine, but really what kind of person is disrespectful like that?

 

[EMom]

Little fart would have gotten an earful from me.

 

[goofy!]

My daughter was getting ready to leave the house and I said to her in front of her boyfriend that her shirt was to low to button one button and he replied
"SHOWING OFF THE GOODS" right in front of me. I find it arrogant and disrespectful. Agree of disagree

How old are they?
Depending on age, I think it was more disrespectful of you to embarrass your daughter in front of her boyfriend. You could have pulled her aside and told her to button her shirt.

You demonstrated disrespect and you got it right back.

If you want to be treated with respect, the number one rule is to treat others with respect first.

 

[Goofyluver]

How old are they?
Depending on age, I think it was more disrespectful of you to embarrass your daughter in front of her boyfriend. You could have pulled her aside and told her to button her shirt.

You demonstrated disrespect and you got it right back.

If you want to be treated with respect, the number one rule is to treat others with respect first.

Whaaaa?

She got it back from some kid who isn't even hers.

My own kid doesn't get to talk to me or his other mother in a disprespectful manner, and certainly some other person's kid doesn't get to do so either.

Yeah, the boy was not only rude, but he was being a pig. And I would certainly be having a conversation with my daughter about how inappropriate his comments were and why.

In addition, I would have stopped my daughter's boyfriend right then and there and said, "I'm sorry. But we don't speak that way in this house. And you certainly should not speak in such a disrespectful manner to my daughter."

There's definitely a difference in telling your own child to button a button and her boyfriend being rude and piggish.

 

[kawing123]

I did not realize he was right there and that would give no one a cause for disrespect regardless just as if a women has something showy on that she is asking for it?

 

[jaminmd]

How old are they?
Depending on age, I think it was more disrespectful of you to embarrass your daughter in front of her boyfriend. You could have pulled her aside and told her to button her shirt.

You demonstrated disrespect and you got it right back.

If you want to be treated with respect, the number one rule is to treat others with respect first.

I have to agree with this one but he should have kept his mouth shut.

 

[jaminmd]

I did not realize he was right there and that would give no one a cause for disrespect regardless just as if a women has something showy on that she is asking for it?

That's a big stretch and I don't think that is what the PP meant.

 

[hereyago]

OP was talking to HER DD. She was letting her know she thought the shirt was too low-she wasn't saying Oh You look like a hooch,etc. And even if she did, her conversation with her kid has nothing to do with the boyfriend. The boyfriend was a guest in OP"s home and should have kept his mouth shut.

 

[Christine]

How old? 14, 16, 18, 20?

What was his tone? A smile and a laugh or a leering, pervert grin with a machismo attitude?

To tell you the truth, we're pretty "joking" in my house and, had I reprimanded my daughter for having her chest hanging out, I can imagine her and her older friends cracking some joke about it. I would probably have never pointed that out in front of her date/boyfriend so maybe the joke was a way to break the tension.

Overly, I don't find it disrespectful.

 

[msjprincess]

How old? 14, 16, 18, 20?

What was his tone? A smile and a laugh or a leering, pervert grin with a machismo attitude?

To tell you the truth, we're pretty "joking" in my house and, had I reprimanded my daughter for having her chest hanging out, I can imagine her and her older friends cracking some joke about it. I would probably have never pointed that out in front of her date/boyfriend so maybe the joke was a way to break the tension.

Overly, I don't find it disrespectful.

mte

 

[Uncle Remus]

If the boyfriend thinks the daughter was showin' off the goods...well, that about sez it all.

 

[kelleigh1]

OMG! I too feel that he was being disrespectful and I have to say that I'm shocked at how many people think there was nothing wrong with saying that, whether you were there or not, it was completely classless his part.

And as for the person who thinks you were disrespectful for commenting that you felt YOUR DAUGHTER was showing too much skin....WT???? I think you had every right to ask your daughter to dress more appropriately. She is your child and unless she's an adult, you are well within your rights, and in my opinion - your duties, as a mother to request that your child button up.

I do think it might be a good idea to have a conversation with her later, just the two of you, about how he treats her and about having respect for herself.

 

[goofy!]

OP was talking to HER DD. She was letting her know she thought the shirt was too low-she wasn't saying Oh You look like a hooch,etc. And even if she did, her conversation with her kid has nothing to do with the boyfriend. The boyfriend was a guest in OP"s home and should have kept his mouth shut.

I did say he was just as disrespectful.

But the OP made a point to state that she told her daughter to button up in front of her boyfriend.


To me, since that was such an important part of the story to make a point of it, the mother was trying to embarrass her daughter in front of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend was definitely disrespectful himself, but probably trying to defend his girlfriend.

If OP had said "Sally, could you meet me in the kitchen for a moment and then told her that she really should button up her shirt a bit more - in private" this never would have happened.

But saying it purposely in front of the boyfriend does make the accusation that she is a hoochie, which is why she got the same kind of disrespect back.

 

[goofy!]

How old? 14, 16, 18, 20?

What was his tone? A smile and a laugh or a leering, pervert grin with a machismo attitude?

To tell you the truth, we're pretty "joking" in my house and, had I reprimanded my daughter for having her chest hanging out, I can imagine her and her older friends cracking some joke about it. I would probably have never pointed that out in front of her date/boyfriend so maybe the joke was a way to break the tension.

Overly, I don't find it disrespectful.

well said

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It's snarky.

 

[Imzadi]

How old? 14, 16, 18, 20?

What was his tone? A smile and a laugh or a leering, pervert grin with a machismo attitude?

To tell you the truth, we're pretty "joking" in my house and, had I reprimanded my daughter for having her chest hanging out, I can imagine her and her older friends cracking some joke about it. I would probably have never pointed that out in front of her date/boyfriend so maybe the joke was a way to break the tension.

Overly, I don't find it disrespectful.

Me, too. Without knowing the tone he said it in, it's hard to make an assessment. Many of us here oogle George Clooney or Hugh Jackman when we see them on TV. Is that disrepectful?

I also wouldn't have said for her to button up in front of her BF. It doesn't sound like her button popped open, but that she deliberately wore it that way. So it should have been said in private. She's not 8 and needed to be told how to dress. You embarrassed her in front of her BF.

 

[JessicaR]

I'd also like to know how old they are AND what your daughters reaction/reply was when he said that.

No matter, he shouldn't say anything remotely like that in front of you. It was disrespectful.

 

[kelleigh1]

I did not realize he was right there and that would give no one a cause for disrespect regardless just as if a women has something showy on that she is asking for it?

I did say he was just as disrespectful.

But the OP made a point to state that she told her daughter to button up in front of her boyfriend.


To me, since that was such an important part of the story to make a point of it, the mother was trying to embarrass her daughter in front of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend was definitely disrespectful himself, but probably trying to defend his girlfriend.

If OP had said "Sally, could you meet me in the kitchen for a moment and then told her that she really should button up her shirt a bit more - in private" this never would have happened.

But saying it purposely in front of the boyfriend does make the accusation that she is a hoochie, which is why she got the same kind of disrespect back.

Apparently you failed to read her later comment where she stated that she DIDN'T KNOW that he was standing right there. So she wasn't "intentionally trying to embarrass" her daughter.

And I still believe that he was the only one being disrespectful and he could use a lesson on how to treat a woman.