WWYD ? Son fell at school & no one called ?

[pandora174]

DS 6 just finished dinner & I brushed his bangs back as we were talking & he went "ouch". I look & there's a dime sized abrasion & raised bump on his forehead. He's fine but no call from the school or mention from his teacher when DH picked him up.

DS said that the teacher put ice, which is fine & he told me he tripped in recess & fell & he hit his head on the ground. But I've never had any incident even minor not reported to me when he was in kinder. He's now in 1rst grade. It really bothers me because when DH picked him up the same teacher told DH that DS wasn't listening to the teacher's aide & that she had added a book for reading for homework. But the bump & abrasion she forgot to mention ?

Not that I'm complaining on how the fall was taken care of, ice etc. But his Kinder teacher always called & told me "don't worry, he fell, or so & so pushed him etc. I put ice but I had to let you know since I had to file a report for the principal." So I'm used to that type of interaction. P.S. DS attends a small private Christian school, so small class size & lots of hands on by the staff.

I was thinking of sending his teacher a note, just that please to let me know if he gets hurt at school & giving her DH & my cell phone. Of course the school has all our contact info at the office & maybe she was having a hectic day etc. I don't know but it really bothered me. DH wants me to send an e-mail to the Principal, nicely worded but documented.

School started 8/24, so far no other problems & DS likes his teacher. But to be honest my first reaction was to be upset since I wasn't expecting to see a big bump & abrasion & not be told about it immediately. WWYD ? I don't want to start a teacher vs parents fight. I really like his school & his teachers are great but I also want to make sure I know of any injury or treatment given to DS.

 

[golfgal]

You don't really expect a daily report card on everything that happens do you? Chances are it slipped her mind because it wasn't a big deal. Your son told you, that should be enough. I don't think it is any cause for a note to the teacher nor should you expect a reporting on every bump or bruise.

 

[torinsmom]

DS 6 just finished dinner & I brushed his bangs back as we were talking & he went "ouch". I look & there's a dime sized abrasion & raised bump on his forehead. He's fine but no call from the school or mention from his teacher when DH picked him up.

DS said that the teacher put ice, which is fine & he told me he tripped in recess & fell & he hit his head on the ground. But I've never had any incident even minor not reported to me when he was in kinder. He's now in 1rst grade. It really bothers me because when DH picked him up the same teacher told DH that DS wasn't listening to the teacher's aide & that she had added a book for reading for homework. But the bump & abrasion she forgot to mention ?

Not that I'm complaining on how the fall was taken care of, ice etc. But his Kinder teacher always called & told me "don't worry, he fell, or so & so pushed him etc. I put ice but I had to let you know since I had to file a report for the principal." So I'm used to that type of interaction. P.S. DS attends a small private Christian school, so small class size & lots of hands on by the staff.

I was thinking of sending his teacher a note, just that please to let me know if he gets hurt at school & giving her DH & my cell phone. Of course the school has all our contact info at the office & maybe she was having a hectic day etc. I don't know but it really bothered me. DH wants me to send an e-mail to the Principal, nicely worded but documented.

School started 8/24, so far no other problems & DS likes his teacher. But to be honest my first reaction was to be upset since I wasn't expecting to see a big bump & abrasion & not be told about it immediately. WWYD ? I don't want to start a teacher vs parents fight. I really like his school & his teachers are great but I also want to make sure I know of any injury or treatment given to DS.

Could you see it before you pushed his bangs back? I am wondering if the teacher did not realize there was a bump there. I often give my kids an ice pack to make them feel better, even when it is not a serious bump. Still, they should have checked before and after the ice, because sometimes bumps take a few minutes to appear.

At my school, we are required to notify parents if there is any injury to the head or face. We write an accident report for anything more than a scrape of the knee or elbow. Of course, for some reason, the accident form stays in the office, so if I don't tell the parent, they will find out from their child. Sometimes I totally blank and forget to tell them.

I would just email and tell them you were concerned about not being notified about a head injury. I certainly would expect a parent of mine to do that.

Marsha

 

[Nancy]

I would just say "oh well" and let it go.

 

[pandora174]

You don't really expect a daily report card on everything that happens do you? Chances are it slipped her mind because it wasn't a big deal. Your son told you, that should be enough. I don't think it is any cause for a note to the teacher nor should you expect a reporting on every bump or bruise.

No actually I do. This his 2nd year & at pick up time the teacher gives you an idea how their day went. Quick but always something, he did great on his test, great in reading group, he was acting up at lunch etc. I also get his daily seatwork & homework from previous night graded. If there's a note to the parents it's given by hand by the teacher or teacher's aide. Class size is 10 kids, with teacher, teacher's aide not counting coach, art/music teacher & ESE teacher.

Kinder every bump or scrape on school grounds I received a call from the teacher or the school secretary when the incident occured & if he was ok or he needed to be picked up. So far I've received the same reference to his day & work, even if did something funny. Again small school, lots of hands on that's why I was so surprised that no one called.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I work in preschool and we usually send a note home about minor injuries - how it happened and what we did to treat it. If it's more serious like a bump on the head or bigger cut or abrasion, the teacher will usually give the parent a quick call. We also take those injuries to the health clerk for assessment and treatment to make sure we are doing the right thing. Our school is very cautious about head injuries and we are required to take any child who hit their head hard or has a visible bump to the office. They fill out a head injury report and send home instructions for the parent.

With a visible bump or abrasion on the head, I would expect at least a quick note or verbal report from the teacher. But, it's hard to say why she didn't say anything afterschool - she may have be planning to but it slipped her mind in the commotion of dismissal. I would talk to her briefly when dropping him off in the morning. Say you noticed the bump and your son told you they gave him ice. Ask nicely if the teacher would inform you next time something like this happens so you can stay on top of it. I wouldn't involve the principal at this point. A quick reminder for the teacher may be all that's needed.

 

[Stacerita]

I would probably just let it go.

 

[horseshowmom]

Could you see it before you pushed his bangs back? I am wondering if the teacher did not realize there was a bump there. I often give my kids an ice pack to make them feel better, even when it is not a serious bump. Still, they should have checked before and after the ice, because sometimes bumps take a few minutes to appear.

At my school, we are required to notify parents if there is any injury to the head or face. We write an accident report for anything more than a scrape of the knee or elbow. Of course, for some reason, the accident form stays in the office, so if I don't tell the parent, they will find out from their child. Sometimes I totally blank and forget to tell them.

I would just email and tell them you were concerned about not being notified about a head injury. I certainly would expect a parent of mine to do that.

Marsha

I agree (the bolded areas in particular).

 

[pandora174]

I agree (the bolded areas in particular).

I totally agree ! I'm sure that's what happened but I should of been told. Once you brush back the bangs the bump & specially the abrasion which is clearly visble. I'll just send a polite note.

 

[Sparx]

i'm really surprised they didn't do an accident report for a head injury. those can be serious!

when i was in the sixth grade, a ceiling tile fell and broke over my head, when i was sent to the auditorium to find something for my teacher. they did an accident report and called my mom, even though there were no marks or bleeding, and it didn't really hurt me (hard head, i guess) so i'm surprised that if there was a mark like that, they didn't do an accident report.

i agree with the above poster that maybe they didn't look at his head, if his bangs hide the mark.

 

[tazdev3225]

I would be a little upset and mention it to the teacher. Just let her know that you would like to be notified if he gets hurt. I had a similar situation when my DD was in kindergarten. She fell and cut her nose. The teacher had no intentions of telling me since dismissal was in an hour anyway. One of the parents forced her to call knowing I didn't pick up my DD. When I got to the school the "bloody nose" was a 1" gash across the bridge of her nose, she was white as a ghost and throwing up. I rushed her to the ER and she needed 4 stitches, had a concussion and a broken nose. The school knew in no uncertain terms if she so much as sneezed I was to be notified immediately from that point on. I know that teachers do their best in most situations but in this case they dropped the ball. A head injury should always be treated seriously.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

Any bump to the head should be documented and you notified.
A minor one we would put an incident report in the backpack. Anything even slighty other than that raised bump ets. you should have recieved a call.
A good rule of thumb is they are coming homing looking differant then how they left. you need to made aware of why.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Once my kids became old enough to tell me anything like this that happened to them (around the age of 3 or so) I no longer expected to hear from anyone else. As long as there is no need to take them to the dr/hospital I figure they will be getting bumps and bruises all the time and I don't expect anyone to report them to me. DD came home from school in 1st or 2nd grade with a severely cut lip (on the inside) from falling on the playground. I took her to the ER where they went back on forth but ultimately decided not to stitch it and we went home. I never talked to her teacher or the school-- they had put ice on it and it had stopped bleeding. And I am a pretty overprotective parent (even more so back then!).

Your baby is growing up. You need to let him. He is going to get lots of bumps and bruises. He will get ice at school, maybe a bandaid or two (or about 50 in the case of my girls!) and he will be just fine. Teachers have much more to do than to focus on the minor bumps during the day. They are more concerned with their reading, math, spelling and behavior. Even with only 10 kids and an aide it is a long day for them and quite a bit happens in their interactions with each and every kid. And the time it takes to fill out an accident report for each and every injury would suck even more time and energy from their day.

There is a world of difference between K and 1st and you will find it to be a pretty big jump each year after this. Relax and pick your battles. I would much rather know if someone hit him with a baseball bat or if he failed a Math test than if he fell on the playground.

 

[mhsjax]

You don't really expect a daily report card on everything that happens do you? Chances are it slipped her mind because it wasn't a big deal. Your son told you, that should be enough. I don't think it is any cause for a note to the teacher nor should you expect a reporting on every bump or bruise.

Yes, I personally do expect to know if my son had an injury to his head. At our school any bump on the head requires an automatic phone call to the parents. Remember Natasha Richardson, She had a bump too.

 

[mhsjax]

Once my kids became old enough to tell me anything like this that happened to them (around the age of 3 or so) I no longer expected to hear from anyone else. As long as there is no need to take them to the dr/hospital I figure they will be getting bumps and bruises all the time and I don't expect anyone to report them to me. DD came home from school in 1st or 2nd grade with a severely cut lip (on the inside) from falling on the playground. I took her to the ER where they went back on forth but ultimately decided not to stitch it and we went home. I never talked to her teacher or the school-- they had put ice on it and it had stopped bleeding. And I am a pretty overprotective parent (even more so back then!).

Your baby is growing up. You need to let him. He is going to get lots of bumps and bruises. He will get ice at school, maybe a bandaid or two (or about 50 in the case of my girls!) and he will be just fine. Teachers have much more to do than to focus on the minor bumps during the day. They are more concerned with their reading, math, spelling and behavior. Even with only 10 kids and an aide it is a long day for them and quite a bit happens in their interactions with each and every kid. And the time it takes to fill out an accident report for each and every injury would suck even more time and energy from their day.

There is a world of difference between K and 1st and you will find it to be a pretty big jump each year after this. Relax and pick your battles. I would much rather know if someone hit him with a baseball bat or if he failed a Math test than if he fell on the playground.

Head injuries have nothing to do with letting your baby grow up, you never know how serious they are. I would rather know about a head injury than a failed test. My son fell at the bus stop and had a bump, he was crying which he never does. We took him to the Dr. office aftr we called them, They said with a head bump you can't be too careful. I find it insulting to tell a mom to let her kid grow up if she is upset about not being notified about a bump on the head. Also we had one a coup;le of years ago, during after school care, he fell and hit his head, said he felt fine, they forgot to call his mom, That night he complained of a headache , he had a concussion. Again, I guess they should have just "let him grow up"

 

[JessicaR]

My kids are older now, 12 and 16 and I have always received a call letting me know if they were hurt no matter how small I thought the injury was. I guess it is our districts policy but EVERY incident is documented and a call is made.

I think you should go with 'your' reaction to what happened and do what makes you comfortable. It certainly is not unreasonable to want to know that your 6 year old hit his head!

 

[lovetoscrap]

oops, double post

 

[lovetoscrap]

OP said that she wants to be notified for every bump and bruise he gets while at school and that is what I was addressing. That is an unreasonable expectation, in my opinion (as a former teacher and current overprotective parent). OP, do you really want your son to be the boy that has a note sent to Mommy everytime he skins his knee or Mom is called anytime he scrapes his elbow?

 

[NikitaZee]

I had a similar situation with my 8 year old son on Friday. He came home with a chipped tooth that was loose and bloody - and no note, no phone call from the school. Called the dentist, and he had to have an immediate visit - x-ray and repair. I called the school nurse AND his teacher. No one realized he had a chipped tooth, even though he was sent to the nurse's office for a bloody nose (he banged heads with a friend playing on the playground - causing both injuries). The nurse apologized for not noticing it, but said that my son didn't indicate that his tooth was chipped, and she did not ask him how he got the bloody nose.

Last year, we were new to the area, and my son had gone to the school nurse the first 3 days of school with an upset stomach. I knew nothing about this, my son never told me about it. The 4th day I called the school nurse to talk about my son's asthma meds, and she said "oh - what a coincidence - your son has been here the last 3 days". I asked why I hadn't been told of this before, and she told me that she's in charge of 1000 students and simply doesn't have the time to write a report about every visit.

This really bothered me - 3 visits in a row and no phone call - I know it was just stress and my son wasn't really ill, but IMO we should have been notified so we could talk to our son about it. I try to be reasonable - I know that every bump and bruise cannot be accounted for, but I have heard from many other moms that communication with the school nurse leaves much to be desired. OP, I'd make a nice inquiry to the teacher, and see what happens.

 

[pjm-guy]

When my now 13 year old son was in pre-school, he fell while on a walk with his preschool class and hit his head on the sidewalk. It was a direct hit with no attempt to stop his fall and dead center on his forehead. This fall left him with an egg that ran from hairline to eyebrow, right smack between the eyes too. The preschool called me as soon as it happened then put ice on his head and most importantly, they did not let him go to sleep (in case he had a concussion). They monitored it and after about 2 hours called me again to say the swelling was increasing. I called his pediatrician immediately, told them the story and said we’d be in their office in 30 minutes. When I picked him up, the daycare had an incident form ready for me. His teacher was visibly upset from the injury. As soon as we got to the Dr’s office, they sent him to the ER for an x-ray. Turns out his skull was fractured. Thankfully your forehead is the thickest bone in your body (or so they told me) so it should be ok.

Fast forward (1) year, and DS went to kindergarten in a new school. In his medical forms, we made it clear that he had a previous skull fracture and we wanted to be notified immediately if a head injury was sustained for any reason. Older DS always has been big for his age and can be klutzy and fall a lot, so we made sure to send a note to the teacher directly about this possibility just in case. Anyway, about 3 weeks into the school year, I picked DS up at school and out he came with his class with the VERY SAME SIZED EGG ON HIS FOREHEAD as he had before. And his right eye was swollen too. Needless to say I was not happy. I asked his teacher to speak to her but she kind of blew me off and continued to talk to other parents. So I asked again, “Excuse me, Mrs. So-and-so, can I talk to you about DS’s injury?” She ignored me a 2nd time, so I asked politely a 3rd time. When she ignored me again, I made sure she heard me when I said it one last time. Again, she tried to trivialize the situation so I said – and very loudly I might add – “Look at his head, how did this happen?” This got everyone’s attention and waiting for her reply because this could have very easily been THEIR child too. She became flustered and tried to make up some ******** excuse to which I replied that his medical records indicate that we are to be called immediately for any head injuries since this has happened to him before. I didn’t want to stay to since I knew I had to get him to the doctor, so I let her know it was not over and I was going to meet the principal the next morning to discuss.

The next morning she had a whole story about how he fell and didn’t want to go to the nurse. I doubted her story then and still do because it’s not my older son’s nature to even know what they were asking, especially after sustaining an injury like that. She then came at me about how I embarrassed her in front of the other parents to which I replied that I didn’t care and would do it all again because this was not a scrape, but another possible skull fracture.

The school did not ice the injury, they did not fill out an injury report, they did not call me or his doctor. Why? Because the school nurse wasn’t in that day so apparently no one had access to his medical records. Not that our phone number wasn’t anywhere else to be found or anything like that. I believe then and still do that this teacher simply didn’t care and neither did the school. This was not an injury you could miss – a 4” egg dead center on a kids forehead will stand out especially when coupled with a swollen eye. I still have the pictures to show the injury too. This was a private school, not a public school. Needless to say we were done with this school not long thereafter.

I know it was a long way to get here, but in my opinion, they should call you anytime a head injury is sustained. The funny thing is that when we transferred schools (both of my kids are in the same school to this day), for the longest time we’d get calls from the gym teacher or regular class teacher to let us know when our older son would get hit in the head with anything, even foam balls. So at least someone took the medical records seriously.

If I were you I’d let the school know that you’re not happy with their response and make sure they document it accordingly.