When your house guests are rude, pushy, demanding and they're family

[dizneegirl]

Here ya go!

I love it! Aunt has no taste, either...

 

[FreeTime]

Here ya go!

Front of it looks like something was sprayed on it because when DH was a toddler, he tried to “help” MIL clean it by spraying Windex on it.

View attachment 951294

I’m going with what’s-it is a sideboard. It is lovely.

 

[Pink Partridge]

• Complained that there wasn't any food in MIL's fridge for them to eat. Um...hello? Since when did this require us to provide you with groceries?
• Demanded my DH go to the grocery store, and spend $75 on groceries for them. How come they couldn't do this themselves? "You don't understand. We could get COVID and die." But you're ok with my DH getting COVID? When they went to the assisted living/hospice care facility, did they wear masks? No. Did they reimburse us for the groceries? No.

I would have shrugged and said "Gosh. I hope you don't starve." And I would have taken pleasure in saying that. No guilt whatsoever. What is wrong with me??

I am very quick to write people off. As in never talk to you again if you behave in this manner. It is a deficit of mine, I know. But I just can't have humans like this in my life.

 

[focusondisney]

Aunt & Uncle are not blood relations to MIL and had no claim to anything in MIL’s estate.

OMG they’re not even actual blood relatives?! Nope. I’d be done.

 

[VandVsmama]

OMG they’re not even actual blood relatives?! Nope. I’d be done.

Yep. Uncle is DH’s father’s brother. Aunt is in the picture by marriage to Uncle.

 

[weewuvvdisney]

When they call to say they are on their way, tell them, oh no! We are all sick. Think of something contagious that can last for a while and redirect them up north for the cooler temps. Good luck!

 

[jo-jo]

Just want to say loved “senior kitty retirement sanctuary “.

We have relatives who always runs into traffic. For forty years, always traffic. Always late for dinner. We don’t wait.

 

[barkley]

Here ya go!

Front of it looks like something was sprayed on it because when DH was a toddler, he tried to “help” MIL clean it by spraying Windex on it.

View attachment 951294

I'll go with side-board as well and it's lovely. btw-to protect the sheen on the top and other areas don't spray furniture polish (like pledge) directly on it/spray on to the cloth and then apply. I worked in a furniture store and I learned the propellants they use in the canned stuff will eat away at the finish.


auntie and uncle??? well, I have a rule that I won't accept behaviour from anyone related to me that I would'nt accept from anyone else in the world. marriage or blood relatedness does not give someone a golden ticket to treat me badly. that said, with those family members who won't take 'no' for an answer-we are now in the age where COVID is a handy excuse for not having visitors but some people believe that they can never catch it again b/c they've had a shot or two so I still like my old stand-by of 'we've all come down with the nastiest strain of stomach flu, we've been running to the bathroom for days' we could never forgive ourselves if we exposed you to this'.

 

[Tigger2ntinkerbell]

First WOW.
I have,a sibling like that. My sibling would come home to visit at my parents' house, and my folks would jump through hoops. And when she finally leaves you think peace and quiet NOPE, for the next several months my Mother would complain how hard it was for her and how she had to clean the whole house every day and if the grass was cut my my sister allergies would acted up. And if dust from the dirt road got on her car, you never heard the end of it.
This went on for several years. My Mom called me the next time my sister was coming home, and I thought great.
So I called and told her that if you love the rest of the family go to a hotel during your stay because I'm the lucky one that gets to hear how hard you made Mom's life when you come home. She said Mom and Dad never said anything to her and she doesn't make them jump though hoops, I said yeah you do.
She was angry, call my parents. Then my Mom calls me, wants to know why I told my sister to stay at a hotel. I tried to explain but my Mom doesn't wanted to hear it puts my Dad on the phone(this is not going great or good at this point), I explain to my Dad what happens every single time when my sister visits this happens.
My Dad who hardly ever says much, finally told my Mother he had enough and he loves my sister but he not going go through what they been though and its stopping now, he called my sister to let her know it was better if she stayed hotel.
The problem was that my Mom believed that my sister would never come back for visit if she couldn't stay with them. In the end her last visit home was much better.

Peace rains when you have boundaries.

 

[focusondisney]

OMG they’re not even actual blood relatives?! Nope. I’d be done.

Oh ok, not blood but in laws, so still family. I thought maybe they were just close friends or something

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Wow, just wow... I think family stuff will be the death of us all

 

[Suger Mag]

Just say No...

If you have to, get "sick"... life is too short to spend with folks who use you

 

[rajak73]

When they call to say they are on their way, tell them, oh no! We are all sick. Think of something contagious that can last for a while

Something like "We all have Covid here and wouldn't want you to catch it and die. Probably be quarantined for at least a month"

 

[HopperFan]

Wow, just wow... I think family stuff will be the death of us all

TRUTH^ on so many levels.

To OP ~ I would have already cut them off after all they did while your MIL was in her final days. COMPLETELY unacceptable. At this point now in the situation, I would just tell them it just is not a good time for them to visit, perhaps next time. The end. And then I would stop communicating. And yes I have cut off relatives that basically were toxic to the family. Was it easy, no, did I feel much better, ABSOLUTELY.

I'm a person who hates having overnight company and hates staying in someone else's home. My end I will avoid at all costs, rather get a hotel if nearby. There are a handful we have stayed with but we are highly compatible, I help in the kitchen and make sure we do not impact their daily life. There are a handful we can travel with staying in the same space, but again very close and compatible. Currently I have no guest room. That brings a whole new level of stress and dread and work to prepare for overnight company. Some folks are geared for it, I am not.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I'm a person who hates having overnight company and hates staying in someone else's home.

This is me all the way. I prefer getting a hotel instead of being a houseguest. I also direct most people that want to come and visit to get a hotel.

 

[goofyernmost]

Still in-laws? That is extended family. Chances are they never really contributed anything to your life and happiness and just because they are in-laws doesn't mean you owe them anything. I never felt any close relationship with any of my wife's blood relative other than my MIL and FIL and when my wife passed, they were already gone and as far as her brothers are concerned we remained friends but no longer even think of them as anymore than that. To me family are the people I interact with on a regular basis out of respect for each other, not even always voluntarily. If they showed me respect then they would always be welcome in my home, but without that I don't care if I ever see or hear from them again.

If it were me I'd tell them that global warming has targeted Arizona and our air conditioning no longer can keep up and she would surely die in this heat. If they still insist then tell them that if the heat doesn't kill them, you will. STAY AWAY!

 

[EACarlson]

I would have put my foot down as soon as the cats came into the picture after expressly being told they aren't welcome. At that point GTFO or I'm calling the cops and having you trespassed. I wouldn't even lie about being sick. "We have other plans going on in our life that we can't drop or move to accommodate you, we've also been told by our HOA that we need at least 30 days notice to have a camper on the street overnight."
But I've also kicked my own mother out of my house when she was being unreasonable to my kids. She left, came back a couple days later, apologized and it's not been a problem since.

 

[lovesmurfs]

https://www.boundaries.me/

Now that I'm getting older, I'm learning the value of boundaries, and of being able and willing to be the ***** and say NO.

...especially now that we're living in Florida, I'm still working full-time, and people want to visit in the winter time.

 

[VandVsmama]

I looked into Madam Leota’s crystal ball and it said that ironically, what will likely happen is Aunt and Uncle will wait so long to get their road trip started that they won’t have any choice but to skip our locale entirely because of the Hot Weather Certain Death could strike them. And then the entire problem is solved.

Ironically, this weekend it’s going to be 79. Yesterday it got up to 96. Next weekend would be perfect weather for them to come.

OR what will happen is they WILL come but it will be when it’s 105 out. 105 here is no big deal. Mornings are lovely and balmy and you do all your stuff in the am and hibernate in the afternoon. Then right after the sun goes down, the temp drops 10-15 degrees and it’s lovely once again. And Aunt or Uncle will have some sort of health issue and will have to go to the hospital, in which case I’ll direct them to call 911 and tell them good luck, call my husband if you need help.

My husband is willing to move mountains for these 2 people and I’ve never understood why. Like, a few years ago when we were on a family trip to Disneyland, we stayed an extra day and drove to their house (they’ve since sold it) to help them sort through their 35+ yr worth of stuff in their attic. Got through a mountain of stuff. Bunch of stuff got put in an open trailer bed for Uncle to take to a donation center. Uncle was to take it the next day to the donation center.

Days later, I got lip from Aunt about that because Uncle forgot to do it. And 2 days after we were there, it rained and “all of the clothing and everything got ruined and we had to take it to the dump instead.”

Well, sorry about that, but that was not my fault nor was it my problem. Go get mad at your husband, not me.

As a result of that, I don’t help them with stuff like that anymore. Because they bit the hand that feeds them.

I shouldn’t have been surprised because these are the same 2 people who shouted at each other in the grocery store about TP and Metamucil. It’s like watching a Seinfeld episode in real life.

 

[Allison]

Yep. Uncle is DH’s father’s brother. Aunt is in the picture by marriage to Uncle.

So a blood relative to your husband.