What is the oldest you were being told off by your parents?

[Spinneret]

I would say about 22 , breaking something at their home

 

[georgina]

I would say about 22 , breaking something at their home

I was 55 when my mom died at age 96. She was loudly vocally critical of everyone in her immediate family for her whole life. Even as an adult I didn't wash the dishes right, or clean my home correctly, etc. Sadly that is the reason some of her children and many of her grandchildren avoided being around her for any length of time. My oldest sister left home for college at 18 and rarely ever came home to visit. Definitely affected how I interact with my own children, don't want to follow that example! Oddly, she was super nice and supportive of my cousins.

 

[tvguy]

Only time I remember was when I was about 40. On a family vacation with my mom for a week and really noticed she needed hearing aids. She was 75 at the time. Mentioned it too her, and she got very upset, especially because her siblings were also noticing she wasn't hearing well. I dropped it. Fast forward a month, she calls me and says "I just spent $3,000 of your inheritance on hearing aids, can you come over and help me adjust my TV to a reasonable audio level, so I can have the amplification adjusted".
Of course, our parents and how they treat us and all most of us know, so we don't have anything first hand to compared them too. As an adult, and when I became a parent, I realized how my mom's mindset was to let me make my own choices, and she would support me. That became apparent when I turned 50, and my mom FINALLY felt comfortable telling me, she did not approve of my first career path choice, law enforcement. That career path slowly changed over my 4 years of College, but she never said a word and supported me.

 

[Genie+]

I was 55 when my mom died at age 96. She was loudly vocally critical of everyone in her immediate family for her whole life. Even as an adult I didn't wash the dishes right, or clean my home correctly, etc. Sadly that is the reason some of her children and many of her grandchildren avoided being around her for any length of time. My oldest sister left home for college at 18 and rarely ever came home to visit. Definitely affected how I interact with my own children, don't want to follow that example! Oddly, she was super nice and supportive of my cousins.

I grew up in a family like this on both sides. There’s only one right way to do anything. It’s hard on the people around them though it is just as bad internally, if not worse. Putting those kind of standards on everything including yourself is an agonizing way to live.

 

[NannyBeBe]

I cannot remember my mother ever getting on me about anything. I was basically ignored except when she needed me for something. I don't know which is worse -- being yelled at or being ignored.

 

[TippyThomas]

My parents weren't yellers or the 'telling off' type at all. I don't think they ever did anything that could be construed as telling me off in my entire life.

 

[goofyernmost]

Parenting ain't easy and being the parent of an adult is even harder. You never stop being a parent if you're good at it and you are always seeing them do things that you feel are really harmful for them, but you can't say anything. Some people can do that wisely others cannot. The parents sitting alone in the nursing homes or senior housing are usually those that weren't able to accept boundaries and allow their children the freedom to run their own lives. No one visits and when they do, it is more out of obligation instead of love and desire to be with them. If the parent has any available clear thinking, they will know and that also sometimes is responsible for angry outbursts from them. I have seen it over and over again. Life and Parenthood are very complicated things.

But lets not put all the blame on the parents. It is aggravating when you are trying so hard to remain independent and not be a burden only to be treated like a child yourself. Oh, yes there comes a time when the the child becomes the parent and the parent becomes the child. It is hard to take when you are not able to see any reason for it other than gray hair. Sometimes the frustration comes out in the form of anger. All it really takes is finding a way to be a little more diplomatic when telling your parent that they are falling apart. Believe me, we know it and really don't want to be reminded constantly that we really no longer have a purpose and are to old and senile to be aware. It's true sometime if there is an illness such as Dementia or Alzheimer's involved. That's when it gets hard for everyone involved.

 

[clh2]

My mom was a nagger. For as long as I can remember. (For reference…I am going to be retiring this year, to give an approximate idea of my age.)

One of the last times my parents came to visit and stay overnight, was a Friday. I was WFH, and when I was done, knew exactly what needed to be done for dinner. I was scurrying around the kitchen. My mom got fixated on two things…I left a cabinet door open (and not a door that people could run into), and I had an empty box for one of my ingredients on the counter, that she repeatedly told me to toss, and I repeatedly told her I would take it to our recycle container in the garage when I had a moment. When I was away from the counter (continuing my prep) she took the box and put it on top of my recipe.

 

[mjkacmom]

My mom passed 9 years ago, I can’t picture her yelling, she wasn’t a yeller, and she was always kind reasonable. My dad passed 6 years ago, he yelled at me the day before he died, at the radiologist. He had Alzheimer’s, he yelled at everyone every day. He was also a yelled before the disease.

 

[TCRAIG]

Neither of my parents ever ‘told off’ any of us (2 sisters, 4 brothers and me) - that’s just not who they were…they were always supportive and encouraging…and taught by example.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

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