Chapter 6: O’hana Means Family, and Family Means Lots of Standing Around and Staring At Your Watch and Wondering Where Everybody Is
It was Monday. Normally, that fact alone would have the entire family starting the day in a grumpy mood, but Mondays at Disney World have been scientifically proven to be 1836% better than Mondays anywhere else.
We were headed back to the Magic Kingdom to meet up with everyone (all 13 of us) for the first time during this trip. My mom and dad weren’t ready to catch the bus at the butt crack of dawn like we were, so we did what any loving, considerate family that respects its elders would do, and ditched them at the hotel.
Actually, they told us they were moving slow and would catch up with us later in the morning.
Meanwhile, my brother and SIL had a sleeping baby in their cabin, so they followed the First Rule Of Parenting, which is Never Wake A Sleeping Baby. But we had no idea when they would be arriving.
No big deal, I’m sure we could find something to do on our own in MK.
We got there at Rope Drop (8:00 a.m.), and went to the character greet area at the Main St. Hub (again, trying to make sure we don’t wait for characters longer than absolutely necessary). Scotty is a huge fan of Chip and Dale. He’s always loved them ever since he was a toddler. Since you guys always seem to need proof of every statement I make, let’s set the Wayback Machine to 2010:
Yep, any excuse to post a manipulatively cute photo and sucker readers into thinking this is a good TR. When Scotty was that age, he had met these guys in various places--wearing Hawaiian shirts on a
Disney Cruise, and futuristic outfits in Tomorrowland. But he had really wanted to meet these two, since they matched his stuffed animals and were, in his words: "Naked Chip and Dale".
Anyway, Sarah knew how much of a fan Scotty was and had painted a Chip and Dale portrait as a gift for Scotty. Then they had the bright idea of having Chip and Dale autograph it for him.
It’s been our experience that Chip and Dale are consistently two of the best characters as far as interactions with kids go. They’ve always done a great job of messing around with my kids, anyway—stealing their hats or sunglasses, pretending to eat Sarah’s hair wrap, reacting with glee over Scotty’s stuffed animals, etc. They went wild over the painting Scotty presented.
Then they heard Sarah was the artist, so she got a proper thanks as well.
Drew was fully onboard with the autographs at this point as well.
So yeah, that was a fun meet-up.
While we were there, we figured Drew might as well get Pluto’s autograph, too.
We wandered over to Tomorrowland. By this time, I’d gotten a text that my parents were on the way. We were going to ride Buzz Lightyear, but we saw that Stitch had no wait time, so we figured we’d knock out another autograph first. Stitch is another consistently fun character, and this time Sarah was the favored child, as Stitch took a liking to her t-shirt.
Three character meets, all with less than 5-minute waits. That’s the only way to fly. I was itching for some rides at this point, though. By this time, my parents had found us, so we decided to jump in line for Buzz. Once again, the wait was basically non-existent. I was excited to get another crack at my Ultimate Life Goal of becoming a Galactic Hero. I stretched my muscles, rolled my shoulders, and cracked my knuckles. I tried to remember the correct sequence: inside of the robot’s left had, top of the volcano, bottom of Zurg’s space ship. I was locked in. Laser-focused. Gold-5, targeting computer activated.
I found my laser dot and zeroed in, moving the control joystick and the laser cannon in a symphony of coordinated action that would make a football coach weep with joy. Tom Cruise didn’t fly his Top Gun jet any better than I piloted my Space Ranger ship.
Alas, I fell just short.
Somewhere, Zurg is laughing.
Undeterred, we got right back in line since there was still no wait and Drew really loved the ride (like there was any doubt? Boy + Laser Cannon = Win). But I’d used up my mojo, and could only score in the 300,000 range this time through. Still, not all was lost. Scotty and I managed to pull off our “Crazed Psychotic Killer” look for the ride photo.
Now, I normally hate posting lots of versions of the same photo, but we had some good ones from the ride. So, I apologize in advance. Scotty changed it up for the second ride:
I’m posting these back-to-back shots of my mother just because of her over-the-top intense concentration. She may not have moved during the entire ride. In fact, she may not have left the car.
And Dave may have won the prize for best “Crazy Eyes Killa” look. Come to think of it, I’d better keep an eye on him.
It was getting past 9:00 in the morning now, and still no word from my brother. We’d covered a good bit of MK already on Saturday, save for Adventureland. So we decided to take Drew over there for his first taste.
I honestly don’t understand why people don’t bother to get up for Rope Drop. I never see Jungle Cruise this deserted except at park opening. I do understand that the lines go away very late at night, but that approach doesn’t work with a 4-year-old.
Anyway, since nobody was around, I had lined up everyone for a family photo, and then a Cast Member came running up and said, “No, no, no—you have to be in the photo, too!” I’m not sure why—I don’t improve any photo in any way, but I followed orders.
The Jungle Cruise was, and is, a Disney classic. It’s 10 minutes of Dad Jokes, which of course are near and dear to my heart. But it really all depends on the enthusiasm and delivery of the skipper, and we happened to get one who put her best energy into it. I could go on and on about her timing and the setup to sell every joke, but—well, you get the point.
Right next door was Pirates of the Caribbean, with little wait posted. And we already knew Drew liked this ride, so why not?
I think the second ride is always better than the first for little kids. Now, the fear is all gone and there’s just anticipation left. I don’t think my mom needed to be so protective of him.
Exiting Pirates, we started walking towards Frontierland since we had a 9:30-10:30 Fastpass for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. We finally got word from my SIL that they were in the park and waiting near Big Thunder. Perfect.
We made our way over and found SIL and her infant son sitting near the fence overlooking Tom Sawyer’s Island. We asked where my brother and their other two kids were.
“Oh, they got in line for Splash Mountain,” she said.
Oh. You mean with the posted wait time of 40 minutes?
So…we waited. Having no idea when they actually got in line, it was hard to say when they’d get off. So we didn’t want to stray far in case they were closer to the end than the beginning.
My father and I wandered over to the bridge to see if we could spot them on the ride. As it turned out, they must have been closer to the beginning of the line. We stood there…and stood there…and stood there.
Finally, we saw their raft float around the corner at the start of the ride, so at that point we knew they would be done in around 10 minutes or so. It was going to be close, but we’d still be able to make the window for our FP. It looked like my brother had managed to get himself, DD (5) and DS1(3) a front-row seat.
If you don’t tell my brother, I’ll admit to no small measure of glee at the fact that he took the brunt of the splash on the drop.
Now that we were (finally) all together, we got ready to jump in line for Big Thunder, my personal favorite ride in the Magic Kingdom. We’d been priming Drew to ride this for months. He was so excited to ride the “fast train” whenever we brought up Disney World during the months prior. We parked our two strollers next to the fence and headed for the FP entrance.
And then, at that moment…he turned into a giant scaredy-cat. Complete with yelling, kicking and screaming.
“I DON’T WANT TO GO ON THAT RIDE!!!”
We tried multiple times to coax him into the FP line, and he wasn’t budging. We even tried to shame him by pointing out that his younger cousin was going on. (Yes, we’re jerks.) He just made a scene. We were dumbfounded. He’d loved the Mine Train, had been talking up Big Thunder for months, and now that we were here, he wanted nothing to do with it.
Finally, we gave up. My parents offered to take Drew and the baby on the WDW Railroad while we rode Big Thunder. We figured we’d text on a place to meet up afterwards.
The rest of us got on the ride, and loved it, as always. Even Drew’s 3-year-old cousin. We were sorry he’d missed it, but still had another FP for this ride later in the week. Hopefully he’d have some more good rides and build up his courage by then. Hopefully.
We gathered our belongings and texted my father that we were finished with the ride, so he could meet us at the Frontierland train station. After a few minutes, we received a reply:
DREW FELL ASLEEP. WE’RE GOING AROUND AGAIN.
Um…what? Sorry, but I’m not going to stand around waiting for the train to make another loop. I quickly shot back a text saying that we’d meet them at the station by Dumbo’s circus tent. He said: OK.
My brother and SIL put their kids into their strollers, and we piled our stuff on Drew’s stroller and started the long walk to the other side of the park.
“Is that your dad’s bag?” my SIL asked. She was pointing to a black bag sitting on the ground by the fence. None of us really had any idea. I didn’t know what his bag looked like, and I was sure he would have taken it with him on the train. So we marched off.
You know what happened next. We were finishing our walk, moving between the Little Mermaid ride and Dumbo, when I got another text:
DID YOU GRAB MY BAG?
I barely restrained myself from throwing my phone onto the roof of the Big Top. After Julie and I uttered variations of, “You’ve got to be kidding me”, I took one for the team and made the trek back to BTMRR while the others waited for me. As I leave you here, you can ponder the various creative profanities that may or may not have been uttered along the way.
Coming Up Next: This becomes an expensive day, in more ways than one.