The Finality of Death..

[Wishing on a star]

Nope, the thought of death/dying does not freak me out.

You know, I think that our feelings on death and dying can often be dictated by the stage of life that we are in.

OP, you state that you are 'young'... And, I think that what you are experiencing is the revelation of our human mortality. It sounds like this is just hitting you all at once. To you, right now, it is probably a huge scarey, unknown.

To me, death is a natural outcome... it is something that we all have to come to terms with, and live with... And, the longer I live, the more I see that our mortality is not something to be feared... but almost expected and looked forward to.

In other words, I am not scared of death.
I do not believe that death is 'dark and nothing'...
If I did, I don't know how that is something to be scared of?

What scares me are the possible pains and trials of life as we get older.
I am already somewhat physically limited by physical problems.
And, I don't know what could scare me more than living thru things like painful terminal illness, disability, loneliness, etc....

To me, I know that death, when it comes, will be a glorious and wonderful freedom from the limits, and pain, and hunger, that come with living within this human body.

The ONLY thing about death that scares me, is that I couldn't bear the thought of 'leaving' my son before he is a successful, independent, adult. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him while he still needs me.

Personally, I am at the age where one might describe a mid-life crisis.
While I do not fear death.... I do want to know that I am doing the best that I can in life, and that I am loved by my husband and my son, and that hopefully we will be there for each other for a while yet. Well, my husband knows a guy, our age, his wife had a very very serious life threatening physical situation. (He was granted furlough from Afghanistan to come home for a few weeks.) It is a wonder that she made it... That really hit me, hard... I wondered if her husband had appreciated and loved her every single day in life???? I wondered if it had really hit my husband that way at all????

It is life and how we live it that it is really all about.

 

[ead79]

I do not fear death in the sense that I believe that I'll be with the Lord on the other side of this life. Of course the process of dying is frightening, but I try to remind myself that my days are numbered already, and worrying about when/how I'll die isn't going to help anything. I look forward to having a body that doesn't wear out or get sick!

 

[dauser]

For me, the finality of death is almost as scary as the prospect of eternal life. I can't imagine existing in whatever form for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 etc. years.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

death has never really "scared" me, but the only thing that i always think is that if it did happen suddenly, i'd feel like i hadn't accomplished all i wanted to do in life. that's the only thing that ever bothers me.

 

[Planogirl]

Which is why it is so critical to live this life like it is the very last one you'll have, since you know you can do good here and now, if you choose to.

Yes, this is perfect.

I can see being fearful by the process but death itself doesn't seem like it could be bad. As others have said, you either move on to another existence in some way (my belief) or there is nothing which you won't even be aware of.

 

[OK!]

I'm not terribly scared about my own death anymore but the thought of the deaths of relatives still worries me. My family went through a period beginning in July 2005 where we lost 13 family members in 11 months. That, needless to say, really got me to thinking; I had so many conversations with friends about death and whether or not it's the final step when we went out that I think they were afraid to give me alcohol for a while for fear every night would turn into a semi-religious debate. But it does leave one a little paranoid...it's still so bad that if I ever get a phone call from my mom when I'm totally not expecting it, the first thought that flashes through my head is, "Oh my God, who died?!"

About a year after all of that settled down, I had a dream that helped me with the debate over whether or not there is an afterlife. My grandmother passed away suddenly in July 2005 of a massive aneurysm. She was in a coma for a week (with a firm DNR in place), so we all had a chance to be with her and to try to grasp the situation as best we could, but it was still totally unexpected. One thing that made it a little easier for me was the notion that she'd be reunited with my grandfather; she'd never truly been happy after he passed away in April of 1997. There were flashes of happiness, sure, but always tinged with sadness that Joe wasn't here to enjoy it with her.

In this dream, I was housesitting for her while she was on vacation. The day she came home, I answered the door (she rang the bell) and immediately noticed this overwhelming sense of joy emanating from her. Her smile took up her whole face; she was absolutely beaming. I asked her about the trip and she said that she'd had a wonderful time and it was so nice getting to see so many old friends. A little while later, the rest of the family came to her house for a "welcome home" party and I remember asking a bunch of them if they had noticed how happy she was. Everyone commented on it. She was so full of energy that she actually took my hand and twirled me around the basement, which we NEVER did. Both of us were laughing and spinning and giddy and just danced and danced.

That was one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had, and I firmly believe that it was a message from her. I've seen other things that have led me to believe that she's still around us in some form or other, but this dream was what really gave me peace. I've been a lot more comfortable with my questions since then.

 

[John VN]

No FEAR here.

I think we all have an insight to death everytime we fall asleep. One second we are aware the next second our brain activity hibernates just like a computer. At that moment there is nothing, which is death. No biggie for me.

 

[adjensen]

My beloved wife, age 46 and fairly healthy, died on 30 March 2010 of a sudden heart attack at home. She called me at work to tell me she thought she was having a heart attack, but by the time I (and the EMTs) got there eight minutes later, she couldn't be revived. I can tell you that you're right, losing a loved one is a terrible, terrible thing.

I do not fear death, and haven't for a long time. I have felt Patti's presence and comfort a number of times over the past month (not always when I really need it, and never in a way that I would have just imagined.) Combined with my faith, those instances tell me that she and I will be together again some day.

 

[Planogirl]

My beloved wife, age 46 and fairly healthy, died on 30 March 2010 of a sudden heart attack at home. She called me at work to tell me she thought she was having a heart attack, but by the time I (and the EMTs) got there eight minutes later, she couldn't be revived. I can tell you that you're right, losing a loved one is a terrible, terrible thing.

I do not fear death, and haven't for a long time. I have felt Patti's presence and comfort a number of times over the past month (not always when I really need it, and never in a way that I would have just imagined.) Combined with my faith, those instances tell me that she and I will be together again some day.

Wow, that's rough - my condolences to you. I very much agree with you.

 

[jwhtewolfd]

I'm not in the least freaked out by the finality of it. (No belief in an afterlife, heaven, hell or higher power, just for the record.) Occasionally concerned about the act of dying, as in HOW I might die? Sure. But not the death part itself. I'd rather it come sooner than later if we're talking prolonged, debilitating, painful disease/dying. I personally can't wrap my head around the concept many people seem to have of "prolong life at all costs." I also have a hard time understanding a fear of death. You can't escape it. It really is the only certain thing in life. It's kind of comforting if you look at it in the right way.

 

[Dismagic1]

I'm not in the least freaked out by the finality of it. (No belief in an afterlife, heaven, hell or higher power, just for the record.) Occasionally concerned about the act of dying, as in HOW I might die? Sure. But not the death part itself. I'd rather it come sooner than later if we're talking prolonged, debilitating, painful disease/dying. I personally can't wrap my head around the concept many people seem to have of "prolong life at all costs." I also have a hard time understanding a fear of death. You can't escape it. It really is the only certain thing in life. It's kind of comforting if you look at it in the right way.

Do you enjoy life? If you do, and you don't have a belief in the afterlife, I don't understand how death can be comforting.

 

[jwhtewolfd]

Do you enjoy life? If you do, and you don't have a belief in the afterlife, I don't understand how death can be comforting.

As for the second question, perhaps I didn't word it just right. The comfort comes in the certainty. Also, as others have said, it's the end of all the worries. If nothing else, once you are dead, there will be nothing to fear. I also find it a little counter-intuitive that those with a faith in an afterlife fear death.

 

[FireDancer]

I also find it a little counter-intuitive that those with a faith in an afterlife fear death.

While I can't speak for everyone that believes in an afterlife I don't think it is the actual death that scares most people. It is more the act of dying (pain, suffering, etc) or the unknown that is more of a cause for fear. Even the most faithful person has no actual proof of the afterlife, that is what makes it faith, so the natural tendency is to have at least a little apprehension or fear of the unknown.

This is of course merely my experience and observation and not meant to spark a religious debate. Those that think otherwise are as free to that opinion as I am to mine.

 

[Dismagic1]

While I can't speak for everyone that believes in an afterlife I don't think it is the actual death that scares most people. It is more the act of dying (pain, suffering, etc) or the unknown that is more of a cause for fear. Even the most faithful person has no actual proof of the afterlife, that is what makes it faith, so the natural tendency is to have at least a little apprehension or fear of the unknown.

This is of course merely my experience and observation and not meant to spark a religious debate. Those that think otherwise are as free to that opinion as I am to mine.

Well for me, the fear is in not being able to do things that I love anymore. I love life and living and experiencing. Traveling, eating a steak, going to a sports game, GOING TO DISNEY WORLD, living life with loved ones. All that stops, never again. That's where my fear comes from.