Tennis shoes at a funeral?

[torinsmom]

One of my aunts just passed away this afternoon Her funeral will be this weekend. Of course, DS and I plan on going to the funeral. The problem is that my DS has no dress shoes. He wears a size 16 and I don't even know if his foot has stopped growing yet. Would khaki pants, a polo and tennis shoes(clean, mostly white ones) be appropriate or should I try and find dress shoes somewhere? I had a heck of a time even finding tennis shoes in his size.

 

[Sadie22]

Add a sport coat/blazer to the outfit and he should be fine. I hope no one is rude enough to criticize someone's shoes at a funeral. I understand the shoe problem. One of my boys got up to a 13 in sneakers before his feet stopped growing.

My Vogue Book of Etiquette and Good Manners I received as a child says if the only coat you own is red, wear that to a funeral.

 

[princessmom29]

dress shoes in a 16 are almost impossible on short notice. I think in this case you do the best you can with what you have. It isn't like you can just go into a store and buy some off the rack.

 

[msmayor]

I have seen grown men show up to viewings wearing cabana shirts and shorts. I consider khakis and a polo shirt a hundred times better than that, and appropriate for a younger generation.

 

[marcyinPA]

I think it's fine. Nobody should be looking at his feet anyway!

I'm sorry for your loss

 

[RachaelA]

I just want to say DH is a size 16 or 17 and finding him so is so difficult. Zappos has a lot of options and they usually deliver next day or in 2 days! Of course huge shoes are double the price!

 

[*JoGo*]

It's fine.
If someone is arrogant enough to think it's rude, well, they're welcome to buy your son a pair of "appropriate" shoes.

 

[torinsmom]

Thanks for the opinions. He actually doesn't have any dress pants either, but he is a pretty normal size 34x34, so I will buy him some tomorrow. Kid lives in jeans, t's and tennis shoes

 

[Magic Mom]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but then again, I'm not overly concerned with dress codes.

 

[bellebud]

what you suggest he's going to wear is totally fine!

I recall at bil's funeral (he was 18yo), some people obviously came straight from work, because they were wearing carpenter pants, city/town work uniforms, etc, and no one cared one bit. We were even touched that with what little time they obviously had (no time to run home and change), they still came. That really meant something.

Don't even think twice about it. And I'm very sorry about your aunts passing.

 

[DisneySarah80]

My DHs grandfather just passed away, and his girlfriend went to the funeral wearing black stretchy pants, a black t-shirt and white tennis/nurse/UGLY shoes.....


Sheesh, I've never been on the this board, and now that I'm here, all I'm typing/reading about is death! Maybe I should head back over to the restaurant board.... Less death, more food

 

[torinsmom]

Thanks! I was not very close to her, but it still is really sad. She was just diagnosed with cirrhosis and liver cancer three weeks ago. She was not ever a drinker and they don't know what caused it. I'm very sad for my uncle and the kids, grandkids and great grand-kids. She was around 70 years old and seemed fine when I saw her in January.

 

[MoonFaerie]

It's fine.
If someone is arrogant enough to think it's rude, well, they're welcome to buy your son a pair of "appropriate" shoes.

That.

My dad passed away when I was in high school. The funeral was on a Monday morning. Several of my friends signed out from school to come to the funeral and then returned to school after. I'm sure at least 1 or 2 of them were not dresses "appropriately," but 14 years later, do I remember what any of them were wearing? Nope. I remember them being there for me.

 

[aprilgail2]

He should be fine-I wouldn't bother getting him new shoes. When someone at work has a death in the family most of us usually head over during work or right after work- work boots and all....I didn't care what they were wearing when they came when I had a death in the family---they all came, dirty clothes and I appreciated every one of them!

 

[disney1990]

Personally, I think black clothes & shoes at a funeral are overrated. I wouldn't care what you worn to a funeral for a member of our family.

 

[Mama Who]

Young men in appropriate dress except for sneakers are sort of a time honored tradition. Everyone knows they outgrow their stuff too fast and everyone knows shoes get expensive. Especially for a short notice thing like a funeral, a best attempt at proper dress is all that really matters.

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't go to a funeral (or wedding) and critique what people wear. Wear what you want (or have him wear what he wants) and just go. All that really matters is the person meant enough to you that you are there (for either).

The only time dress matters is at work where it can effect your job.

Just my opinion.

 

[Missy1961]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but then again, I'm not overly concerned with dress codes.

Exactly my thoughts. I really don't care what someone wears. When my mom passed away, I couldn't tell you what people wore, I just remember how wonderful it was that so many people cared about her & came to support our family. That's what I care about.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Sorry to hear about the passing of your aunt....

I think the outfit you described would be perfectly acceptable. It isn't about the clothes you are wearing but the fact that he cared enough to show up and pay his respects.

I wouldn't go out and purchase anything, he's a teenager and when would he wear "dressy" type clothes again before growing out of them. It is no longer a time that you "must" wear black or dress clothes to funerals.

 

[Disney Doll]

His outfit sounds fine. Just make sure the sneakers are in decent shape.