Teen test anxiety/panic?

[flyingdumbo127]

Just want to offer a and extra care with prayer Ursula. Best to you and your daughter always!

 

[Karin1984]

Does she have a creative outlet? Being creative boosts cognitive functions, reduces stress, improves mental and physical health.

 

[Ursula J]

Just wanted to thank every one of you for your answers and kindness. I am so grateful. Monday morning I'll be making calls, trying to find a therapist, and I'm going to talk to her doctor as well. It helps so much just to feel less alone.

 

[Ursula J]

Have her magnesium levels and Vitamin D and B checked. These all can play a role in anxiety and doctors don’t really test for it.

Great point!

 

[Ursula J]

I hesitated to respond to this, but I’m going to.

I took care of a patient not too long ago who was a severely addicted, homeless lady. Young, but looked much older. You could see she once was a beautiful woman, but her face and body had severely deteriorated. She was admitted to the hospital for a bloodstream and heart valve infection due to shooting up. It wasn’t her first, and, as an active user, she was not a candidate for surgery to repair the valve damage. (So her life expectancy was short.) Her arms were covered in large bumps making them appear all gnarly. I had occasion to sit with her and talk for a good, long time. Really sweet lady. She told me her addiction started when she was a young girl and prescribed benzodiazepines. I believe her.

The doctors you think are inexperienced may just know more than you give them credit for. After all, they see lots of different patients and cases during four years of medical school. Many have jobs working with patients before that. Then they start seeing hundreds, if not thousands, as they start their careers. Working in hospitals, we see this, unfortunately. Point being that there can be more reasons than inexperience for not prescribing some things. They also have liability and accountability if something happens, so naturally, they have to be careful and discerning.

Benzos are a no for me, and thanks for this. I'm okay with her trying antidepressants or other anxiety meds but I have a family history of addiction and I won't risk her long term wellness. I know people who can take them very occasionally and do great, but our family history is a red flag.

 

[Ursula J]

My 11th grade daughter has the opposite problem. She does great on standardized exams without any preparation whatsoever (perfect 1520 on the PSAT and 1560 on the SAT), but she developed some pretty severe anxiety about just going to school. She fell behind due to a class schedule change and just couldn’t handle it. She was having panic attacks every morning and missed a lot of days (which just compounded the problem).

I recommend therapy. We were lucky to find a great one here. She’s also on low dose antidepressants, although it’s difficult to know their effectiveness yet. (They also seem to give her headaches.) She’s doing much better, but still in therapy for now and still learning various coping strategies. Like @mumto3girls said, having a third party helping the student (and the parents) really works. Her therapist texts and checks up on her daily. I love having the professional support.

I’m going to check her vitamin and mineral levels now too. Thanks @HeatherC!

Sounds like you have a great therapist for her! And hugs to you. This parenting thing is quite a journey.

 

[mjkacmom]

There can be a wait to see a therapist covered by insurance in my area, so I would try to get an appointment now, knowing that she might not be seen for several months. In the meantime, encourage her to explore some of the mindfulness apps, meditation/relaxation shows on netflix, or any physical activity she enjoys-yoga, hiking, swimming, kickboxing, etc. In a pinch, I have found Olly's goodbye stress gummies to be helpful, they are sold at Target.

My son’s is out of network, needed to get him set up with someone asap in 2021 and it was almost impossible. At this point he’s doing so well and has a great relationship ship with him, so I’m just paying OOP. He gets his prescriptions from someone in network.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I have two kids with anxiety, so I definitely know what you're going through. Both of "other" things going on, as well.

DS26 has autism, anxiety, depression, and a couple other sensory-type things. He's also an "introvert's introvert". I have to say, the anxiety has been most limiting on his life. He's been in therapy for years, resists any suggestion of meds. He works full-time and is in college part-time. He may never launch.

Meanwhile, DD20 has anxiety (no depression), ADHD, and a couple sensory things. She's double-majoring, honors college, eligible to graduate a semester early, so she's clearly on a good path. She's been in therapy for a couple years, but is being kicked out--weaned off, really, because she's developed coping skills and her therapist says it's time for her to stand on her own--although she can come back to him at any time. She is also resistant to meds, but has a prescription. It makes her sleep for 10-12 hours after taking it, so we save it for travel. Knowing she COULD take it, even with side effects, has been helpful to her.

Both kids go to school locally--DD20 lives on campus, but has a car, and an off-campus job, so she's home 3-4 times a week, just to stop in (pet the dog, grab some snacks, whatever). Interestingly, the local school was her last choice for college, but she's really thriving there. I do think it helped her to be able to come home any time, keep the same doctor/dentist/etc. and be familiar with the area. It's been a good balance of freedom, with a safety net.

Both kids get accommodations at school, but more for their sensory issues than the anxiety. For example, DS26 is allowed to use special software that tapes a lecture, and he can do something to "mark" relevant passages, so he can go back and take notes at his own pace. DD20 was actually a tester for this software, so her brother was much less resistant to using it--he HATES asking for help, we've been working on that with him. DD20 is very good at advocating for herself--she gets a quiet testing environment for her ADHD. Neither want or need extra test time, but that's case-specific.

When your daughter is looking at colleges, don't be afraid to look at the special services offered. Even if she doesn't think she wants them, it's good to know they're available.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

My very bright 16 year old has started getting worse and worse test anxiety-- she's making herself (and us) miserable and probably doing worse than she should. Any of you have experience with this? Does anything help? I'm not opposed to medication if it helps. The SAT is looming, which makes it worse.

I have a lot of experience with this and continue to. My daughter has anxiety and most of the anxiety is school related. During her yearly physical with her doctor, I step out of the room so the doctor talks to her/asks questions....she always does that. Afterward, doctor came out and said to me that my daughter has a lot of anxiety and should see a counselor/therapist. I immediately got on that and was shocked. The list the doctor gave me, about 2 pages, not one was accepting new patients. It took me a good month to eventually find a therapist (that was also in network). She has been seeing a counselor since April 2023. The office is always filled with "kids", from young to teens. I contacted the 504 coordinator at my daughters high school. I'm going thru the process of getting her extra support. Being that she has been diagnosed by her physician, she qualifies but it's not as easy as that. Had a Team's meeting with some of her teachers, myself and the 504 coordinator. Most of her teachers said they "don't see it affecting her in class." Some did see. I'm in a waiting period as to what will be done, if anything. I wish I had done this sooner. I do think it affected her when taking the SAT. SAT will make accommodations for anxiety (such as giving more time) if you have a 504, I think. I know of someone with an IEP, he has attention deficit disorder and he received extra time taking ACT. I would start with your child's physician. If physician agrees and gives anxiety diagnosis then contact 504 coordinator if that is the track you want to pursue.

 

[clh2]

In addition to all the other advice, does your child know good test taking strategies? And, have they done trst prep? We were fortunate to get the name of a tutor, a former armed forces nuclear engineer, he did 6 tutor sessions at our house. Granted, this was 11 years ago. It only cost $600, if I recall. The test taking strategies are still paying dividends as my daughter is still taking professional certification exams.

Our daughter only took the ACT, her score went up 6 points from first test to the 2nd test (Ie first test was no prep, no tutor). The tutor thought she should have taken it a 3rd time, as she was 1 point away from better scholarship opportunities, but Our daughter did not do that, and we were OK with that.

 

[JaxDad]

The list the doctor gave me, about 2 pages, not one was accepting new patients. It took me a good month to eventually find a therapist (that was also in network).

We had the same experience. Therapists just weren’t taking new patients. I called so many different ones! We were waiting to see one provided by the school district, who was stretched very thin, when we just lucked out with a recommendation from a friend. Reach out. Talk to all your friends, family, coworkers, etc. Others are going through similar problems and can help.

 

[Southernmiss]

Here's another bit of info from our experience to think about

One of our son's issues really manifested during Covid shut downs. I encouraged him to go to mental health on his college campus. They were so overwhelmed with students that he was never able to get an appointment.

By that time, he turned 21 and seeking help was on him. It becomes more difficult as they become adults to find professionals for them and get them to make or go to appointments.

 

[mjkacmom]

Here's another bit of info from our experience to think about

One of our son's issues really manifested during Covid shut downs. I encouraged him to go to mental health on his college campus. They were so overwhelmed with students that he was never able to get an appointment.

By that time, he turned 21 and seeking help was on him. It becomes more difficult as they become adults to find professionals for them and get them to make or go to appointments.

I had issues with some medical providers when my son turned 18. Even if he signed paperwork saying they could speak to me, some would give me a hard time. He was in a bad place and kept missing appointments, appointments I didn’t know about. Finally they started sending reminder emails to me, he wasn’t capable of managing appointments at that time.

 

[disneyseniors]

Unfortunately the pressure to do well on the standardized tests and get into an amazing college is just out of control. My teens don’t have test anxiety thank goodness but a lot of their friends do. I think a conversation about expectations and life experience about how the test isn’t a measure of their ability to succeed or how intelligent they are is a great start if you haven’t already had this. Sometimes saying it again and again in different ways helps too as I know my teens choose to hear only half of what is said most of the time before I get tuned out. I also recommend getting them the book “The subtle art of not giving a F***”. It’s a great reminder that we over analyze and put so much pressure on ourselves and how to not let it consume us. Best of luck the teenage years are not easy, I have an 18, 15 & 14 yr old.

I just wanted to mention that for some professions, it doesn't stop at HS. My granddaughter has to get straight A's in her regular college courses Before she can even be considered for her profession!!! That's crazy. And even more crazy is that they only take 12 people a year in that profession, and there are only 2 colleges in our state that offer this. So far, she is holding her own, but it must be very difficult to do. I am proud of her but wonder what she will do if she is not one of the 12 picked in 4 years????

 

[Southernmiss]

I had issues with some medical providers when my son turned 18. Even if he signed paperwork saying they could speak to me, some would give me a hard time. He was in a bad place and kept missing appointments, appointments I didn’t know about. Finally they started sending reminder emails to me, he wasn’t capable of managing appointments at that time.

Good points. I forgot that I had issues helping our daughter with a chronic medical diagnosis with appointments, etc. after she turned 18.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

We had the same experience. Therapists just weren’t taking new patients. I called so many different ones! We were waiting to see one provided by the school district, who was stretched very thin, when we just lucked out with a recommendation from a friend. Reach out. Talk to all your friends, family, coworkers, etc. Others are going through similar problems and can help.

It has been an eye opening experience. Trying to find a counselor, seeing the counselors office full of kids. It's a crisis. I made it a point to tell the 504 coorindator about this. He agreed, saying he has seen a large increase of students with anxiety.

 

[mjkacmom]

It has been an eye opening experience. Trying to find a counselor, seeing the counselors office full of kids. It's a crisis. I made it a point to tell the 504 coorindator about this. He agreed, saying he has seen a large increase of students with anxiety.

I have a family member who is a child psychiatrist who also agrees, her waiting list is super long and she doesn’t accept insurance.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Study more to be more confident in taking the tests? I mean if you know the material, the tests shouldn't be too hard, right? (i'm sure things have changed a lot since I was in school, but if I know my stuff I wouldn't be too concerned)

Usually those who struggle with tests it's not a material issue. I mean you can study all the time and yet when you get to the test blank or you have other issues that make it difficult.

When I was in lower schooling it was a time where things were not really given much attention to it so kids who had problems with test taking were just relegated to doing more poorly. I usually did pretty well on tests although not the most amazing on ACT and SAT due to the math portion but I knew most of my friends struggled with tests in school for one reason or another. Intake of information counts for something but everyone's brain work differently too and confidence in the material only gets you so far.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I actually found my alma mater for college to be so much more accommodating for testing issues than when I was in high school. But as I said in my above comment it was a time where lower ed just didn't have the same level of understanding that we do know.

In college so long as you addressed with the professors at the beginning of the semester to make arrangements they would work with you and they heavily promoted this. From what I understand things like a different room could be arranged or additional time (to a limit) to take a test among other things. These may be more difficult to accommodate in lower-ed but it's worth addressing with the school the OP's child is in.

Even as good of a test taker in general I was in lower education there's an anxiety that can be kicked up just seeing others get up and return their test before you. Identifying at least some causes for the anxiety would be helpful too. Is it the environment? Is it how the tests are worded? Is it pressures the school and/or parents puts on her (intentional or not intentional)? Even just a thing such as Dean's List and so on can amp up worries. Is it needing the information for the tests presented in a different way to absorb the information? My sister-in-law has mild dyslexia but has an aerospace engineering degree and did great on tests including the SATs. Not every person will react the same.

I think a good heart to heart conversation and then subsequent conversation with the school might be a good place to start with. I'd hesitate to suggest therapy and/or medication without getting more and more into why the test anxiety is there. Depending on the answers maybe therapy is needed, maybe it's not. Maybe she would feel more comfortable telling a therapist rather than her parents which would be a good reason to go that route but I wouldn't just jump to it without attempting the more deep conversation first even as pro-therapy I am.

 

[Suger Mag]

SATS suck. Hard to study for and they are a crappy test. Prep classes and practice tests... looking into the ACT also.

But for more general testing.... Besides the obvious of being prepared, one thing I often talked to my students is to create a ritual. Many pro athletes have a little ritual they do... helps them get into the zone.... lol the old Red Sox Manny Rodriguiz comes to mind, before he would go to bat he would adjust his gloves over and over.

My ritual was I would make flash cards and eat chocolate. Going through the flash cards before always helped center me and chocolate releases feel good endorphins... if you are in a good positive head space you will do better. Maybe repeat a certain affirmations. a mental countdown. Whatever, but create a series of steps and basically reprogram away from the anxiety (which is in itself a learned behavior to some extent). SOmetimes essential oils like ;lavender and peppermint can also help. Worth a try and it might help to relieve anxiety and create a program to be calm and do well.