Thanks for all the input! My only objection to taking her to a therapist is, she might perceive it as, we think she needs fixing. I will try to talk to her about it over Christmas break, when things are much calmer, and talk about how it could help her. Her older brother, who has diagnosed anxiety and depression, sees a therapist, and it's painless (no meds at this time, just visits every 3-4 weeks), so hopefully she will see that it's more like a steadying adviser than a doctor (and no shots!). Heck, even my oldest--sane and rational as they come--sees a therapist occasionally, mostly to help her deal with stresses at work. She teaches English Language learning students, and as you might imagine, most come with a lot of baggage.
As to the music and dance--I do worry that she does too much dance, ~8 hours a week. Much more this week, since we're doing Nutcracker this weekend (I do wardrobe, hence the "we"). For better or worse, she's not a naturally talented dancer, and just earned her pointe shoes after a great deal of effort. She has many good friends in dance, and is looked up to--not for her skills, but for her kindness and willingness to help wherever needed. With her music--now there, she does have lots of talent, and works hard. But, it's not a future career for her (she wants to be a lawyer). She had to give up the HS orchestra this year--her choice--due to scheduling conflicts. She still plays in a youth orchestra (meets once a week on a college schedule) and takes private lessons.
In looking at this past week, the incident that prompted my post was uncontrollable shaking, plus nausea. In looking further beyond the obvious stressors (last week of school, Nutcracker), I realized that the dance studio has been messing with her. Not on purpose, but she has her regular dances (groups--she doesn't get solos), then she was asked to help out with the youngest dancers, plus she's helping with some Special Olympics dancers who are in the party scene, and also performing at intermission. Then just this week, they asked her to help with some other parts of the performance (being a runner and doing some prop manipulation while in the wings). They ask her to do these things because she's so kind and gentle, but it's the last-minute aspect that throws her. And believe me, I was at dress rehearsal last night, and they were changing things so much, she STILL doesn't know what she's doing. And I get that this is the nature of performances, and if she wants to continues, she has to learn to roll with this stuff, but I think the late changes threw her, causing the shaking. But, life can be like this--ask any parent, ever! And especially if she wants to be a prosecutor (her dream job), this issue will exist.
Sorry about the novel. I'm going to get her through this weekend, then evaluate other ideas with her in the next couple of weeks.