S/O: Divorce... how to cut down?

[sam_gordon]

I was more upset about anyone thinking that there should be a way to reduce the numbers of divorces.

With all due respect, as the OP, I'm not saying there "should" be a way. I'm asking if there "is" a way.

This is not an attempt to keep couples in bad marriages. This is questioning how to avoid the bad marriages in the first place, along with defining what is a "bad marriage". And let's be honest, there are many levels of "bad". Abusive, controlling, and cheating spouses should absolutely get divorced. Are there other "irreconcilable differences" that justify divorce? Sure. But is there anything that can be done before the marriage to figure these kinds of things out. And yes, people do change their views over time. I'll readily acknowledge that.

 

[gsdweller]

40%-50% divorce rate is actually too high depending on what you are trying to interpret. A better metric for divorce is to look at the number of people that have ever been divorced. Currently around 30% of American adult women have ever been divorced, and just a bit lower than that for men. Sure, there are individuals that have been divorced 2 or 3 times, but the "Ever been divorced" metric is a bit more valuable for some discussions.

 

[goofyernmost]

With all due respect, as the OP, I'm not saying there "should" be a way. I'm asking if there "is" a way.

This is not an attempt to keep couples in bad marriages. This is questioning how to avoid the bad marriages in the first place, along with defining what is a "bad marriage". And let's be honest, there are many levels of "bad". Abusive, controlling, and cheating spouses should absolutely get divorced. Are there other "irreconcilable differences" that justify divorce? Sure. But is there anything that can be done before the marriage to figure these kinds of things out. And yes, people do change their views over time. I'll readily acknowledge that.

OK, sorry I mis-read your post. That said, however, your question has been asked ever since the concept of legal marriage and even social marriage has existed. It used to be said that there should be something akin to a learners permit before one makes that commitment, but, of course, that comes with a whole lot of connective tissue as well. I know, personally, two couples that co-inhabiting for over 5 years, got married and 2 years later decided to divorce. There are no easy answers or any solid incentives to stay married in spite of unhappiness. If there were such a thing as complete honesty and communication there might be a whole lot better chances of being happy for the duration.

 

[sam_gordon]

OK, sorry I mis-read your post. That said, however, your question has been asked ever since the concept of legal marriage and even social marriage has existed. It used to be said that there should be something akin to a learners permit before one makes that commitment, but, of course, that comes with a whole lot of connective tissue as well. I know, personally, two couples that co-inhabiting for over 5 years, got married and 2 years later decided to divorce. There are no easy answers or any solid incentives to stay married in spite of unhappiness. If there were such a thing as complete honesty and communication there might be a whole lot better chances of being happy for the duration.

That's a very valid answer to my question.

How about this... I WISH there was something that could be done so there are more successful marriages.