Riley Strain-Missing Fraternity Member In Nashville

[Monykalyn]

My town and many knew him or our kids knew him and his family. It’s terrible.
And the answer to overserved and obviously intoxicated is giving out vouchers for Uber rides. We do many charity events with alcohol sales, we have county sheriffs there and security and vouchers are given out to the obviously intoxicated ones who are arguing with friends “they are just fine”. Those are the ones who need it the most.
We have “the talk” with our girls (never ever accept a drink handed to you by anyone other than bartender you watched pour the drink), never let a friend leave alone) but how many have had that talk with the sons also about never letting friend wander off alone on these nights?
And many of us have made questionable decisions in our youth. If you haven’t then congrats on your superior ‘personal responsibility’. St Peter has your medal.

 

[mjkacmom]

My town and many knew him or our kids knew him and his family. It’s terrible.
And the answer to overserved and obviously intoxicated is giving out vouchers for Uber rides. We do many charity events with alcohol sales, we have county sheriffs there and security and vouchers are given out to the obviously intoxicated ones who are arguing with friends “they are just fine”. Those are the ones who need it the most.
We have “the talk” with our girls (never ever accept a drink handed to you by anyone other than bartender you watched pour the drink), never let a friend leave alone) but how many have had that talk with the sons also about never letting friend wander off alone on these nights?
And many of us have made questionable decisions in our youth. If you haven’t then congrats on your superior ‘personal responsibility’. St Peter has your medal.

We have 3 daughters, 2 sons, and all have been lectured on never letting anyone go alone (it’s up there with not falling asleep as a passenger in a vehicle on long car rides). We literally had the discus with ds21 on Friday. Our oldest son (25) went to Bogota with a bunch of friend (all over 6’ tall). He wanted to walk back to the hotel from a bar, he could see the hotel, his friend (who lives there with his family half of the year) said absolutely no way. No one was ever allowed to go alone anywhere. Who knows what happened with this young man’s friends, did they even see him get kicked out, were they to intoxicated to make good decisions? That’s why we harp on it so often in our house, it’s just too easy to make bad decisions when alcohol is involved.

 

[fla4fun]

My town and many knew him or our kids knew him and his family. It’s terrible.
And the answer to overserved and obviously intoxicated is giving out vouchers for Uber rides. We do many charity events with alcohol sales, we have county sheriffs there and security and vouchers are given out to the obviously intoxicated ones who are arguing with friends “they are just fine”. Those are the ones who need it the most.
We have “the talk” with our girls (never ever accept a drink handed to you by anyone other than bartender you watched pour the drink), never let a friend leave alone) but how many have had that talk with the sons also about never letting friend wander off alone on these nights?
And many of us have made questionable decisions in our youth. If you haven’t then congrats on your superior ‘personal responsibility’. St Peter has your medal.

I am sorry you and your family are personally impacted by this. I was always (and still am) the designated driver for my circle of friends. I just can’t imagine leaving a friend to fend for themselves in this situation. It’s so sad.

There is a difference in a one time event and a day-to-day business when it comes to how these situations are handled. While the Uber vouchers and rented sheriffs may work well for one time events, I am not sure it’s a sustainable business model for a day-to-day business. There aren’t enough law enforcement personnel available to cover every establishment, even to come in every time someone is drunk. It can be difficult enough to get them to show up when a drunk person gets belligerent in some cities. I am not sure what the solution is, but the problem is not a new one. Society hasn’t figured out how to keep drunk people from driving, so unfortunately I don’t expect them to make walking drunk a high priority.

There is a lot of speculation going on right now, and a lot of pain, and the most difficult thing is to let the investigators do what they need to do to bring the truth to light. I hope he is found soon, and that he is safe.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Well given what I see on camera after he walked out, that bar should have never let him leave, nor served him until he got that slappy in the first place. And where were his fraternity "brothers?" There's a lot of people that have some splainin to do.

 

[mom2rtk]

This is heartbreaking. My daughter graduated from Mizzou last spring and I'm still in the parents' Facebook group. This has been all over the group for days. The University has counselors available for students who know him and are having trouble coping.

I hope the family gets some answers soon. Alas, I'm afraid he's probably not alive.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well given what I see on camera after he walked out, that bar should have never let him leave, nor served him until he got that slappy in the first place. And where were his fraternity "brothers?" There's a lot of people that have some splainin to do.

Have you been to Nashville?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Who's to say this last bar served him? They bar hop there. it's a person's responsibility to know how much they've had to drink.

FWIW the bar in question is being investigated to see if they did overserve him. That should at least be the minimum to do because it will help trace his steps and give time lines. I wouldn't look at that as a blame game but part of the overall police investigation.

It IS against TN law to "serve alcoholic beverages to someone who is visibly intoxicated" and would be a class A misdemeanor. While we can say personal responsibility that only goes so far. Laws like that help protect the masses from helping to mitigate drunk driving incidents to violence. Personally speaking I'm not about getting drunk any longer but I do remember being a college student and I do remember bar hopping and alcohol has a sneaking way of catching up to you fast. Personal opinion but we as a society generally have better awareness and protections for women (and rightfully so) drinking at bars but don't always pay as much attention to men and seeing a drunk guy vs a drunk girl very likely would elicit two different reactions to patrons and employees even if that isn't the best moral way.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Have you been to Nashville?

The city really doesn't matter. It's part of the overall culture of youthful drinking especially in college towns or high tourist destinations with concentrated bars in one area. Spring break should in theory make bars more conscious because many youth do go to places to party which often goes hand in hand with issues (be it vandalism, violence, incidents, etc). In reality we know that often it's a money making time period for bars and seeing a bunch of drunk frat boys hardly raises eyebrows (other than maybe to roll eyes). But on the other side of that is realizing that bad things do happen that sometimes could have been prevented by intervention (and sometimes by multiple parties like those you're with, the other people around you, the establishment you're at). And sometimes that lack of intervention does lead to criminal charges. Not stating that for this case but generally speaking.

It's fairly local news here because Mizzou is a common college for students to go to from the area (in fact most of my husband's coworkers are graduates from Mizzou). I hope he is alive but either way I hope he is found and causes known if he is not alive (even if no foul play occurred) for his family, friends and all those who personally knew him. They must be besides themselves with worry

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Have you been to Nashville?

I was going to ask the same question.

In this case, the city does matter. We've seen more that a few people literally falling down drunk on the sidewalks in Nashville. Most of them were well over typical college age. The only place we've seen that was comparable is New Orleans, but I think Nashville may be worse.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I was going to ask the same question.

In this case, the city does matter. We've seen more that a few people literally falling down drunk on the sidewalks in Nashville. Most of them were well over typical college age. The only place we've seen that was comparable is New Orleans, but I think Nashville may be worse.

It's the same elsewhere. You'll find that everywhere even like what you described. Any high tourist destination or college town has stories to tell of very drunken people in very public places.

I'm sitting here remembering my bar crawl through Aggieville. Then I'm remembering walking in the student ghetto in Lawrence. Or Epcot during Food & Wine (admittedly that example there is more employee awareness).

Watch On Patrol Live and seemingly every weekend in Fort Lauderdale is a festival full of drunken people only there it's a lot of motorcycles, trucks and more.

The only way that the city matters here is if your point is Nashville has no concern whatsoever with public drunkenness in which case that's not a positive thing.

 

[GAN]

Disagree, no city has the manpower to send officers to every bar that removes an intoxicated patron, they’d be showing up every 15 minutes at dime places, and what are the officers going to do with the drunks? It’s not realistic. This isn’t the town of Mayberry. I’ve never heard of this happening. Now, they can be held responsible for over serving if something happens later, like drunk driving, but they did their diligence by refusing to serve him any more.

Then they have to handle it themselves, but I’ve been to Nashville and there are police everywhere. If you can’t get assistance from police, then you find out who he is there with and have them deal with it. It’s not that difficult -this happens at bars all over the place. I’ve been in bars where the owner calls a cab and takes the customer home. What if he was driving -then what? Either way the bar is responsible….

 

[GAN]

Who's to say this last bar served him? They bar hop there. it's a person's responsibility to know how much they've had to drink. Tired of it's everybody else's fault. Why not sue the friends who weren't watching him? Maybe they encouraged him to drink more or gave him the liquor they bought? Anyway, I hope they find him but it's doubtful as time goes on that it will turn out well.

If you have a liquor license, YOU(the bar owner) are absolutely responsible for every person that walks in and walks out of your establishment. It’s YOUR liquor license on the line, not the drinkers.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

It's the same elsewhere. You'll find that everywhere even like what you described. Any high tourist destination or college town has stories to tell of very drunken people in very public places.

I'm sitting here remembering my bar crawl through Aggieville. Then I'm remembering walking in the student ghetto in Lawrence. Or Epcot during Food & Wine (admittedly that example there is more employee awareness).

Watch On Patrol Live and seemingly every weekend in Fort Lauderdale is a festival full of drunken people only there it's a lot of motorcycles, trucks and more.

The only way that the city matters here is if your point is Nashville has no concern whatsoever with public drunkenness in which case that's not a positive thing.

I don't know about that. I've had plenty of experience in college towns. We live next door to Fort Lauderdale & we travel a lot. Our many experiences in Epcot, including F&W, don't even compare. As I said previously, the only place I've seen a similar amount of drunkenness is in New Orleans, but Nashville was worse. To be fair, I've never experienced Mardi Gras in NOLA . Have you spent much time in Nashville?

Edited for clarification.

 

[mjkacmom]

Then they have to handle it themselves, but I’ve been to Nashville and there are police everywhere. If you can’t get assistance from police, then you find out who he is there with and have them deal with it. It’s not that difficult -this happens at bars all over the place. I’ve been in bars where the owner calls a cab and takes the customer home. What if he was driving -then what? Either way the bar is responsible….

Doesn’t happen at bars here, no one is calling you a cab, at least at the bars my kids frequent (or work at, my daughter bartends weekends at a very popular Boston bar). Bouncers just kick you out, there’s a line outside and folks are happy to get in. My kids go to these bars often (perfect age), dd21’s friend was recently asked to leave due to throwing up on the floor (college town), wasn’t offered a ride. Dd23 just had a birthday bar crawl in manhattan with 40 of her closest friends, many slept here, based on their condition the next morning they were not light drinkers (undereducated home of course). Things don’t always work the way we think they should work.

 

[GAN]

Doesn’t happen at bars here, no one is calling you a cab, at least at the bars my kids frequent (or work at, my daughter bartends weekends at a very popular Boston bar). Bouncers just kick you out, there’s a line outside and folks are happy to get in. My kids go to these bars often (perfect age), dd21’s friend was recently asked to leave due to throwing up on the floor (college town), wasn’t offered a ride. Dd23 just had a birthday bar crawl in manhattan with 40 of her closest friends, many slept here, based on their condition the next morning they were not light drinkers (undereducated home of course). Things don’t always work the way we think they should work.

We’re talking about two different things. I’ve spent plenty of time in bars, so I know the story. All I’m saying is, tossing someone out doesn’t mean they’ve washed their hands of responsibility. If he had gotten in a car and killed someone, the bar is still responsible. Believe me, I know it rarely happens the way it should, but that doesn’t mean they’re free and clear of legal responsibility.

 

[WEDWDW]

Tennessee ABC is formally investigating Luke's 32 Bridge for possible overserving of Riley.

Luke Bryan seems like a great guy-this has to be really affecting him.

 

[mjkacmom]

We’re talking about two different things. I’ve spent plenty of time in bars, so I know the story. All I’m saying is, tossing someone out doesn’t mean they’ve washed their hands of responsibility. If he had gotten in a car and killed someone, the bar is still responsible. Believe me, I know it rarely happens the way it should, but that doesn’t mean they’re free and clear of legal responsibility.

I agree legal action can be taken, but when folks are 20 deep at a bar, it’s really hard to determine if someone is being overserved, especially with folks buying rounds. The staff did their due diligence by kicking him out.

 

[monsterkitty]

I just saw a report where Strain went to pay his tab and the bartender informed him he didn't have a tab. That's when he was told to leave.

So either someone else was buying him drinks and knew he was highly intoxicated, or Strain showed up to the last bar already highly intoxicated and was over served at the previous bar.

I would not be shocked that we learn that frat brothers were buying the drinks for the obviously intoxicated Strain.

 

[tony67]

.

I agree legal action can be taken, but when folks are 20 deep at a bar, it’s really hard to determine if someone is being overserved, especially with folks buying rounds. The staff did their due diligence by kicking him out.

Yeah its always very difficult - one of the risks with working in a bar as well.

Even in a small bar on a quiet night - two people can come in one orders for both and the other one was overserved elsewhere. You may not realize until they are well into that first round that there is an issue - especially if they are a regular. Problem is once you give them that drink you are on the hook and responsible - if they get a DUI its all about the last place they drank - not the place that overserved them.

I find it hard to blame the bar in most cases, there is a thing called personal responsibility which people seem to forget.
I've never blamed a server when I have overindulged, even in the few cases where I could probably blame the server. (free shots for example - NEVER do shots)
In the end I drank it - its on me.

One other thing - in the bar they may have seemed drunk, but not to a point of being a danger to themselves.
When they get outside in the fresh air sometimes that is when the alcohol really hits you in my experience - so one second your fine and then not so much.

The friends have some responsibly here as well - you should always look out for each other when you go out as a group - that is sort of the point. I am sure they feel terrible and regret not going with them or putting them in an uber.

 

[tony67]

I just saw a report where Strain went to pay his tab and the bartender informed him he didn't have a tab. That's when he was told to leave.

So either someone else was buying him drinks and knew he was highly intoxicated, or Strain showed up to the last bar already highly intoxicated and was over served at the previous bar.

I would not be shocked that we learn that frat brothers were buying the drinks for the obviously intoxicated Strain.

Yeah - would not surprise me at all.