Reactive Attachment Disorder

[D&DDisney]

Homework time is tough. It got so bad at our house that I had to write into his IEP to limit the amount of homework he gets.

Glad the first day of school went well.

 

[bookwormde]

We also have a item in the IEP his teachers send all the homework home and we filter our what is effective, approprite and practical without creating anxiety and he is graded on completed work only. It is funny since this has been in palce (and the "pressure" is off) he has been able to complete allmost all of his homework, where as before 1/2 was good, go figure.

bookwormde

 

[sl_underwood]

He doesnt officially have homework. I am trying to homeschool after school. He is doing nothing at school. DD picked him up during school hours for speech and took him back both times the kids were just roaming the class. They have placed him in special ed and its pretty much daycare. He is the only child in the class with the ability to communicate (according to DD and him) When I asked him about school he said he likes it ok but it does get boring as all they do is play with the same few toys all day. The teacher has already stated that she will teach where the majority of the class is at and since the majority are not ready for pre-k even, not much instruction going on. Luke needs to be learning to read. That is what we were working on at home. I am trying to figure out how to navigate the world of IEP's but I am finding I am pretty useless there. I tell the school what I think he needs and they claim he cant do it. I know it isnt a matter of cant but wont. He wont put any more effort in than what is expected. Since they expect nothing, he just wont give them anything. He is already trying to act like a baby at home again. This class is NOT what is best for him but due to my own health issues I cant have him at home. I recently found out I was pregnant and I tend to miscarry or have extremely premature birth. Doc wants me on bedrest and he wants me to have the least stressful environment. Most likely, I wont make it but I have to try. I just hate feeling like I am abandoning Luke to a place where he is getting nothing so I might finally have a bio child.

 

[bookwormde]

SL_underwood,

Do not feel guilty in any way, we all balance between our NT kids and our kids with special needs. The best way to get the school to do things is to set goals in the IEP for progress.

bookwormde

 

[Ka' eo]

He doesnt officially have homework. I am trying to homeschool after school. He is doing nothing at school. DD picked him up during school hours for speech and took him back both times the kids were just roaming the class. They have placed him in special ed and its pretty much daycare. He is the only child in the class with the ability to communicate (according to DD and him) When I asked him about school he said he likes it ok but it does get boring as all they do is play with the same few toys all day. The teacher has already stated that she will teach where the majority of the class is at and since the majority are not ready for pre-k even, not much instruction going on. Luke needs to be learning to read. That is what we were working on at home. I am trying to figure out how to navigate the world of IEP's but I am finding I am pretty useless there. I tell the school what I think he needs and they claim he cant do it. I know it isnt a matter of cant but wont. He wont put any more effort in than what is expected. Since they expect nothing, he just wont give them anything. He is already trying to act like a baby at home again. This class is NOT what is best for him but due to my own health issues I cant have him at home. I recently found out I was pregnant and I tend to miscarry or have extremely premature birth. Doc wants me on bedrest and he wants me to have the least stressful environment. Most likely, I wont make it but I have to try. I just hate feeling like I am abandoning Luke to a place where he is getting nothing so I might finally have a bio child.

Don't forget this is a BIG adjustment for him. He is just starting there. Putting pressure on yourself to school him after school is doing just that, putting pressure on you both. Let him adjust. Do not feel guilt. Does he have a formal IEP? If so, you could call a meeting and request that he be differentiated. He is entitled to that. If he does not have an IEP, request in writing that he be evaluated to determine if his education is being negatively impacted by a disability. (sorry if this is redundant, I say this a lot to people, IRL and online)

I wish you the best for your pregnancy.

 

[sl_underwood]

They told me they will be creating an IEP. They have 10 school days to do it and I am not sure when they will tell me of a meeting. My guess is the day before. This is the norm here, they really dont want parents at the meeting. I imagine the IEP will be the one he had when he finished Kindergarten. Today he brought home some worksheets he did at school and they appeared to be working on counting, which he already knows, and shapes and colors which he has known for a couple of years now. He showed me one of the pages where he had written his name at the top and said the teacher told him it was wrong because he wrote Luke instead of Lucas. He goes by Luke and told her he wanted to be called Luke and she put him in time out for talking back to the teacher. I dont know how much of this is true, with Luke you never know. I wish I could just believe him but his track record makes that impossible. It is quite frustrating, if the teacher is doing this it is wrong but I dont want to confront her just to find out he is lying.
I know this is going to make me sound like an idiot but can you explain differentiated instruction to me?

 

[D&DDisney]

I know this is going to make me sound like an idiot but can you explain differentiated instruction to me?

Its where a teacher adjusts his/her instruction & curriculum to fit the student's needs. For instance, instead of sending my son off to the "special ed" room, his teacher has started adjusting his instruction of the material to my DS with more hands-on learning. In math, the teacher taught my son to use a muliplication chart because he was having trouble multiplying numbers the traditional way or the teacher will give him manipulatives to regroup.
If the class is reading a book that my son cannot handle, they will give my son the CD of the story to listen to so he can follow along. Same story, just different approach.

 

[bookwormde]

"they" do not create the IEP. The school has to call an IEP meeting in which you are an equal partner (they are required to give you 10 days notice and be flexibel to resonably accomidate your schedule) and the team creates acedemic and funtional statements of your child,(negative and positive) determines his special needs (both acedemic and non acedemic) and determine the accomidations, supports and modifications that are needed to place him in the appropriate least restirictive enviroment which existes or can be created by pratical means. This must be done irregardless of adminstrative conveniance or lack of extiting programs or structure as long as they can be implemented.

bookwormde

 

[sl_underwood]

"they" do not create the IEP. The school has to call an IEP meeting in which you are an equal partner (they are required to give you 10 days notice and be flexibel to resonably accomidate your schedule) and the team creates acedemic and funtional statements of your child,(negative and positive) determines his special needs (both acedemic and non acedemic) and determine the accomidations, supports and modifications that are needed to place him in the appropriate least restirictive enviroment which existes or can be created by pratical means. This must be done irregardless of adminstrative conveniance or lack of extiting programs or structure as long as they can be implemented.

bookwormde

That has never happened in our area. I have been to a total of 3 IEP meetings and this kid has been on an IEP since we got him. At each IEP meeting they already have the IEP ready and just want a signature. They spend maybe 10 minutes and that is only if I ask questions. Everytime I have challenged a goal or stated I didnt agree, nothing has happened. Each time, I have been told no more than 24 hours ahead and I have rearranged my schedule to get there. It has been a very negative experience all around. There has been no team that I have ever been a part of. I will ask that they accomodate him but I dont see anything changing. Our school system is awful, even the kids in typical classes are behind their peers in other states. Each time a school bill is voted on, it is obvious education is not a priority in OK. Hell, our town even voted to get rid of our library after some water damage rather than to spend the $$ to repair or rebuild it. It is really sad. I would love to move but have been unsucessful there as well.

 

[bookwormde]

This a a major violation of IDEA ferderal regulations.

bookwormde

 

[Ka' eo]

This a a major violation of IDEA ferderal regulations.

bookwormde

This is. I would contact the superintendent's office immediately. Start keeping track of everything, if you haven't already done so. I would also suggest you contact your state's board of education. Does your son already have an evaluation designating what his special needs are

 

[sl_underwood]

he has multiple contradicting evaluations. They all say RAD, some say ASD some say brain trauma, some say odd some say adhd. The psych I just got him in with wants him to see a neuropsych with the hopes they can narrow it down and hopefully clean up the mess all the other professionals have left behind. The school claims he is unable to learn and is MR but they have never done any of the standard IQ tests. His IQ score was above 100 (cant remember the exact number but high enough to refute their statement) not to mention, he has been learning all this time at home. They just want to do nothing. I have not kept track of it but during the two years as his foster mom, I had only 4 meetings, one was a parent teacher conference and the other 3 were IEP meetings. Each time, I was notified the day before the meeting by a note in my sons backpack. I didnt realize this wasnt the norm. I know 3 people who also have kids on IEPS and this is the way they do it here. I will contact the special education director and the superintendent but it is doubtful there will be any changes made. I am going to have to start researching and figure out exactly what they should be doing and maybe hire an attorney to help. It is doubtful they will do anything without being forced. Sad but true. Education just isnt a priority in our community. We actually have a school that currently has no heat but since its in the poorer area no one actually does anything about it.

 

[Ka' eo]

I know you said he had diagnoses, but I was wondering what the school's IEP is for? For example, if he had an IEP for speech, and you as a parent got an outside eval that identifed ADHD, the school may not accept this. Often, school's prefer to do their own testing. Have you requested this? It is hard to learn about what rights your child has. It has taken us years to really understand. And you are right, each school has their own way. I am sorry your community is lacking resources.

I do think calling the state dept of education might be invaluable to you.

I did want to comment on the easy work they are giving him. I was thinking about that and when our children have had challenges listening, refusing to do work, etc, our teachers have given less challenging work to build their confidence. So again, this is only the first week, so hopefully they will develop a sense of how to challenge him.

It sounds like you are going to have to do some serious advocating for him.

 

[bookwormde]

Ditto, to Ka'eo's recommendations write down as much as you can remember, and request a full copy of his IEP file from the school, they are required to supply it (make sure they give you all notes and evaluations not just the actual IEPs).
Write a synopsis and contact the state IDEA compliance office/officer and call them and then forward it to them. Is there a chance that he had an ESP (educational surrogate parent) while he was I faster status?
Virtually no psychiatrists are qualified to evaluate your child, you need to get to a major medical center which has competency and experience in PTSD, RAD and ASD.

bookwormde

 

[sl_underwood]

His dx's all came from doctorate level psychologists- one of which supposedly worked with him inpatient while he was in the hospital recovering from injuries. My friend who is also dealing with this said the school just sent her child to a psychologist here in our town. She stated they dont have their own psych at the school. Another friend who moved to Dallas, actually sued Enid Public schools and lost even though they were clearly violating her childs rights- he couldnt speak but could type and write and they placed him at the Enid State School (this school is for severely retarded nearly all inpatient- ranges form children to elderly) Oklahoma seems extremely wacky in the way they deal with everything from foster care, adoption, to medical, psych, and school practices. Our area seems even more backwards than the rest of the state. As soon as hubby graduates with his Masters, he can hopefully find a job somewhere better and we can move. Right now we just cant afford to make the move.

 

[bookwormde]

Many states us the strict construction interpretation of laws so they do not consider federal law when deciding. To get proper rulings very often you have to file n federal district court. A May 2007 Supreme Court ruling allows parents of children to file and represent their children in the federal court system on matters of IDEA (often just letting it "slip" that you know this help a lot) .

I can not express enough the importance of having an evaluation done by a clinical group at a major center with the experiance I referernced above.

bookwormde

 

[Kat77]

Just wanted to share this link with you guys before I lose it. I read the example FAE BIP and it rocked.
http://www.motherswithattitude.com/portfolio/index.html

 

[Kat77]

DD10 has a biome project due in science. In classic form, we do not get told about it until it is already late. Kid insists the only biome still open is swamp. Everything else is closed! I shot off an email to teacher (to confirm that swamp is the only choice) but did not hear back from her, so last night we worked on the swamp project until the kid was falling over in her chair. Just got an email from the teacher...only ONE subject is closed and the rest are WIDE open- anyone want to guess which one is closed?!?!

 

[D&DDisney]

DD10 has a biome project due in science. In classic form, we do not get told about it until it is already late. Kid insists the only biome still open is swamp. Everything else is closed! I shot off an email to teacher (to confirm that swamp is the only choice) but did not hear back from her, so last night we worked on the swamp project until the kid was falling over in her chair. Just got an email from the teacher...only ONE subject is closed and the rest are WIDE open- anyone want to guess which one is closed?!?!

Been there! Bought the t-shirt!!! That just stinks!!!!!

While dropping off my DS for school today the art and music teachers ask DS if he has his projects done. Umm...what projects I ask him. Apparently he has to make a Rain Stick for music - due today and an art project due tomorrow. No mention of this til today and NOTHING has come home from school. I've told them time and time again to email his assignments so I will know cuz he surely won't remember to bring them home.

 

[D&DDisney]

oops! double post