Question/Vent/Rant Working from Home

[tinkerjo]

I feel your pain!!! I have worked from home since Covid and my DH (along with adult kids) treat me like I just sit around all day doing nothing. My kids think I should babysit the grandkids while I work (I am allowed as long as they are old enough to take care of themselves) but it is chaos. Even if DH is home (he’s semi retired) it’s just too much. AND DH thinks I have time throughout the day that I can clean house and make dinner. Makes me so angry!!! we have this conversation weekly.

 

[cayennews]

He should have assumed that you did not see the text message if you did not respond. If he was that worried about it he should have called. I work from home everyday and some days I am swamped and others I am not, so my husband knows better than to assume something is or is not getting done. Not your fault.

 

[Living42Day]

That is frustrating. I get why he was frustrated, it's a bummer to waste $$ on items that need to be tossed. But, it was on him to make sure he communicated with confirmation before they were delivered or to check to make sure you were even able to grab the items. You could have been in a meeting that you in no way could step away from. And also on him for how he reacted, it's not okay to blame you for his failure to communicate effectively. I hope he apologizes.

That is a huge thing with Walmart delivery, for some reason most of the drivers will not knock on the door to indicate items have been delivered. We had a Sam's Club delivery between like 3-5pm and the app still said the order was processing and not delivered. After waiting until 5pm, I opened the door to leave and it turned out the order had been delivered at 3:30pm, and was sitting at the front door because the driver did not knock/ring the bell as requested in my instructions. I received a text at 6pm that the order was delivered at 3:30pm, which I was like "gee, thanks" lol Super frustrating, because $150+ in meat and frozen groceries were now spoiled after sitting in the heat for that long, especially after tipping generously. But that is an entirely different issue.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

A rough day in what I do now is a vacation compared to life "in a branch". Of course w/"branch life" the 40 hours thing was not enforced because it was not realistic to expect to leave on time.

Now I am hourly in a "back office" lending position. USUALLY things are very chill and I work at my own pace. What I do entails: we are given a list of "contacts". You have to work a minimum number of contacts (which means calling people), which is very easy to achieve, most of us can easily do double that. We randomly get "internet" loan applications that come in, and you work those. While that is extra work, you welcome the opportunity to land another loan. Usually it is no more than one of those a day IF you are lucky enough to even get one. When you work say 40 contacts a day.... the amount of people you talk to really starts to add up. When you have that many contacts "out there in the universe", there is the POTENTIAL for getting hit with everything all at once.

For example: I grabbed my internet application that morning, I was working w/that person when somebody else start calling me and emailing that he had finally found the vehicle he wanted but needed more money so I was trying to get him approved for a higher loan amount by underwriting when I get an email from lady saying she wanted to Xfer her CC balances, so I had to get all of the CC info from her to do the Xfers, acct#'s addresses etc, to type in and getting all the docs to be signed, while somebody else is bombarding me with, yep I am buying this car, so I need payment sent to this dealership. All the while you are trying to make your minimum calls for that day. Also having some people you are having to remind hey you gotta sign that paperwork before we can send the check. All the while your phone is blowing up from a dealership for guy #2 wanting verification we are actually going to pay them. You also have to take time to actually do the booking of the loans... issue the checks, create the FedEx labels, notify the "mail team" to send the checks out. Also you have to update the peoples' accounts and add the appropriate notes. Send follow up emails to customers, saying thank you, and giving them instructions on how to set up online access if they have not done so already. That said, you are going to make a lot more than your hourly wage for getting those loan booked. If you lose an hour of pay, based on the dollar amount of those loans/payment protection etc.... you are going to make A LOT more than than that hour you "worked for free".

Now, on an "slow day", you have 8 hours to make like 40 phone calls and chat with your coworkers on Teams or if you are "in office", sit around and talk, book a loan here and there (if you're lucky). We get two 15 minute breaks (on the clock) and the one hour clock out lunch. In a WFH day, the day has the potential to be very chill, and you can get a lot of stuff done around the house on your lunch hour and breaks and you can ease through the day. Friday was just not that kind of day.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

A rough day in what I do now is a vacation compared to life "in a branch". Of course w/"branch life" the 40 hours thing was not enforced because it was not realistic to expect to leave on time.

Now I am hourly in a "back office" lending position. USUALLY things are very chill and I work at my own pace. What I do entails: we are given a list of "contacts". You have to work a minimum number of contacts (which means calling people), which is very easy to achieve, most of us can easily do double that. We randomly get "internet" loan applications that come in, and you work those. While that is extra work, you welcome the opportunity to land another loan. Usually it is no more than one of those a day IF you are lucky enough to even get one. When you work say 40 contacts a day.... the amount of people you talk to really starts to add up. When you have that many contacts "out there in the universe", there is the POTENTIAL for getting hit with everything all at once.

For example: I grabbed my internet application that morning, I was working w/that person when somebody else start calling me and emailing that he had finally found the vehicle he wanted but needed more money so I was trying to get him approved for a higher loan amount by underwriting when I get an email from lady saying she wanted to Xfer her CC balances, so I had to get all of the CC info from her to do the Xfers, acct#'s addresses etc, to type in and getting all the docs to be signed, while somebody else is bombarding me with, yep I am buying this car, so I need payment sent to this dealership. All the while you are trying to make your minimum calls for that day. Also having some people you are having to remind hey you gotta sign that paperwork before we can send the check. All the while your phone is blowing up from a dealership for guy #2 wanting verification we are actually going to pay them. You also have to take time to actually do the booking of the loans... issue the checks, create the FedEx labels, notify the "mail team" to send the checks out. Also you have to update the peoples' accounts and add the appropriate notes. Send follow up emails to customers, saying thank you, and giving them instructions on how to set up online access if they have not done so already. That said, you are going to make a lot more than your hourly wage for getting those loan booked. If you lose an hour of pay, based on the dollar amount of those loans/payment protection etc.... you are going to make A LOT more than than that hour you "worked for free".

Now, on an "slow day", you have 8 hours to make like 40 phone calls and chat with your coworkers on Teams or if you are "in office", sit around and talk, book a loan here and there (if you're lucky). We get two 15 minute breaks (on the clock) and the one hour clock out lunch. In a WFH day, the day has the potential to be very chill, and you can get a lot of stuff done around the house on your lunch hour and breaks and you can ease through the day. Friday was just not that kind of day.

So are you cold calling half the time???
If so then I think that should be someone else's job because it sounds like you have enough incoming calls/emails that need your attention because they are already clients. Or they should lower the minimum cold calls you need to make because you have plenty of other work to do.
Just remember this company would go hire someone new if you died tomorrow. You owe them no loyalties.
And if you say most days are chill but Friday was not one of those days then I feel like you being overwhelmed when usually you are not is what set you and your DH off.
The two of you have a lack of communication that day probably because he assumed it was a chill normal work at home day and you didn't express to him otherwise until he came home.
Also you said you like that you can get up later and you took a shower during your lunch back.
Maybe it would be better to carve out a little time prior to clocking in to do that so you're more ready for your day like you would be if you went to the office.

 

[sam_gordon]

I think you and DH are both wrong, just in different ways.

DH should have confirmed that you received the text about the food delivery. If he didn't get a response to the original text, send a follow up text, if no response, call.

I feel you are simply putting added stress on yourself. In the OP, you say

I literally did not take breaks or a real lunch yesterday. I did clock out for like an hour, and during that hour I went and took a shower which took about 15 minutes and TRIED to catch up on stuff that was coming in while I was off the clock and marked away "at lunch" that did not stop people from Teams-ing me, VM, and email while I marked at lunch. I was seriously about to lose it by the end of the day.

I don't understand how you say "I did not take breaks" immediately followed by "I did clock out for like an hour". DO NOT DO WORK OFF THE CLOCK. If you are getting that stressed that you were "about to lose it" because people were messaging you while you were marked "at lunch", you might want to consider a different job. I will often message (Teams, email, VM (voice mail?)) people while they're marked "away" or "busy", but because of that, I don't expect an immediate reply. I message while it's fresh in my mind, and I'm fine with them answering when they "return". That allows me to put that project on the back burner instead of having to remember to deal with it on YOUR schedule.

If DH was truly "mad" at you, which got you "mad" at him, I think there are some issues you two need to work out.

Or, neither one of you was "mad", simply "disappointed", and you're exaggerating for the story.

 

[sam_gordon]

That is a huge thing with Walmart delivery, for some reason most of the drivers will not knock on the door to indicate items have been delivered. We had a Sam's Club delivery between like 3-5pm and the app still said the order was processing and not delivered. After waiting until 5pm, I opened the door to leave and it turned out the order had been delivered at 3:30pm, and was sitting at the front door because the driver did not knock/ring the bell as requested in my instructions. I received a text at 6pm that the order was delivered at 3:30pm, which I was like "gee, thanks" lol Super frustrating, because $150+ in meat and frozen groceries were now spoiled after sitting in the heat for that long, especially after tipping generously. But that is an entirely different issue.

I *SO* agree with this. Put down the delivery, knock or ring the doorbell, and then leave. I think that's the least that could be done.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

So are you cold calling half the time???
If so then I think that should be someone else's job because it sounds like you have enough incoming calls/emails that need your attention because they are already clients. Or they should lower the minimum cold calls you need to make because you have plenty of other work to do.
Just remember this company would go hire someone new if you died tomorrow. You owe them no loyalties.
And if you say most days are chill but Friday was not one of those days then I feel like you being overwhelmed when usually you are not is what set you and your DH off.
The two of you have a lack of communication that day probably because he assumed it was a chill normal work at home day and you didn't express to him otherwise until he came home.
Also you said you like that you can get up later and you took a shower during your lunch back.
Maybe it would be better to carve out a little time prior to clocking in to do that so you're more ready for your day like you would be if you went to the office.

Yes, it is A LOT of cold calling... they generate these lists of current and former customers. It is mostly leave a vm, send email, or get a solid NO, and then you just move on. Out of every huge # of calls/emails you may hear back from a couple people. It IS unusual to hear back from so many people all at once, but it can happen. The one guy I was talking to was a "new" app I grabbed from the internet queue that morning. The other one was from somebody I got pre-approved towards the end of JANUARY. He just happened to choose that very day to buy his vehicle, and needed more $$$ which I had to get approved. The other lady was from a few days ago, she was mulling it over and chose Friday to act on her debt consolidation. It was an unusually tedious app because it involved a lot of different cards to consolidate. That requires typing in A LOT of information, and issuing several different checks to different creditors. The other was an app that I had started the previous day, the kid decided to go buy the car on Friday. Of course it was not a simple thing since he was young and had no credit, he had to get a cosigner... first cosigner was denied, so he found a different cosigner and that one got approved. Also sometimes you run across customers who are very chatty and some are at an age where they do not understand technology, so you have to walk them through how to electronically sign paperwork.

In the "perfect scenario" it's a local, they want to buy a car locally, you get them approved, they send you a purchase agreement via email or fax, you book the loan, issue a check for a branch to print. The person goes to the branch and picks up the check, takes it to dealership or private seller and buys the car.... that simple and quick. But every scenario is NOT that simple. Some are so easy and quick where it's like oh you are refinancing your car that you already have financed here.... pull credit, prepare docs, send out adobesign, book it, and DONE.

USUALLY things are very easy, but some days (like Friday) are a complete circus.

 

[clh2]

I WFH 2 or 3 days a week.

I can see your irritation! My husband is retired, and some days, “he just doesn’t get that I am working from home”. And, I am in a position that I cannot control my workload. And I continue to laugh at him when he asks me if I got the mail (on days when he is not home). He still does not “get” that I do not routinely listen for deliveries, mail truck or garbage trucks. The only exception is if he tells me in advance that he is expecting something.

I’m also glad my WFH space has a door, which I can easily close if he is distracting me.

 

[VandVsmama]

This is all just a simple communication failure on your DH's part.

He could have called you after you didn't respond to his text message.
He could have texted again more than once.
He could have scheduled the delivery for a time of day when he was sure that you or he would be home and available to take it inside the house.
He could have stopped by the store on his way home to buy the dairy products himself.

 

[Genie+]

Communication and expectation, that is where he went wrong.

He expected his communication to go through. You never confirmed it did.

That he had to make a $10 issue all about you and your mistake to start both of your weekends off on a sour note? Guilty.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I have told him in the past, if I am WFH I am actually working and I’m not on vacation. I have a good chance to get some extra stuff done during lunch and breaks, that is just a nice bonus.

I had a bit of a kerfuffle with his brother last month. His brother (who lives with his mother at the age of 50-something, which is another problem entirely) asked him if he could use our dryer because theirs stopped working. He told him yes. THAT was fine. Our laundry room is in the basement, and I work from the basement. My husband did text me to be on the lookout for him coming over. No problem. However the problem became he just ran into the basement like some sort of maniac and proceeded to destroy then basement bathroom while I was on the phone with a customer. Trying to speak professionally while that is going on 15 feet from you can be a challenge.

Then… he was like sorry I couldn’t make it all the way upstairs. He put the clothes in the dryer, then just plopped down on the couch and was talking to me while the dryer ran. Thankfully I was not swamped that day so I did talk to him and did a few outbound calls here and there. After he left I saw what he did to our bathroom and I about died. I spent my lunch our cleaning up the mess he made in there. I was more upset about what he did to our bathroom than him interrupting me trying to work. My husband DID agree with me on that one in that what his brother did was completely unacceptable. Of course we have to tread lightly because he is battling depression etc. He had his mother talk to him about it.

It’s just the complete lack of boundaries sometimes that kills me.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

I have told him in the past, if I am WFH I am actually working and I’m not on vacation. I have a good chance to get some extra stuff done during lunch and breaks, that is just a nice bonus.

I had a bit of a kerfuffle with his brother last month. His brother (who lives with his mother at the age of 50-something, which is another problem entirely) asked him if he could use our dryer because theirs stopped working. He told him yes. THAT was fine. Our laundry room is in the basement, and I work from the basement. My husband did text me to be on the lookout for him coming over. No problem. However the problem became he just ran into the basement like some sort of maniac and proceeded to destroy then basement bathroom while I was on the phone with a customer. Trying to speak professionally while that is going on 15 feet from you can be a challenge.

Then… he was like sorry I couldn’t make it all the way upstairs. He put the clothes in the dryer, then just plopped down on the couch and was talking to me while the dryer ran. Thankfully I was not swamped that day so I did talk to him and did a few outbound calls here and there. After he left I saw what he did to our bathroom and I about died. I spent my lunch our cleaning up the mess he made in there. I was more upset about what he did to our bathroom than him interrupting me trying to work. My husband DID agree with me on that one in that what his brother did was completely unacceptable. Of course we have to tread lightly because he is battling depression etc. He had his mother talk to him about it.

It’s just the complete lack of boundaries sometimes that kills me.

IDK you're not earning any points with me on this stuff anymore.
You explained that usually your days are pretty chill so I'm inclined to be a bit less harsh on your DH at this point because clearly there are WFH days that you do have more time on your hands so he didn't know it was a particularly crazy day for you.
As far as the BIL you sound like you just don't like him.
Not sure why living with your parents in your 50's is inherently bad. The western culture has brainwashed people into thinking that multiple generations shouldn't be living in the same house over the age of 18.
And its not his fault that your DH asked if he could do his laundry and you acted fine with it but clearly weren't because its in the basement and so is your work station.
And while it may seem "rude" if he really had to go that bad and there's a bathroom down there then well poop happens.
I believe you are being over dramatic about the "mess" in the bathroom.
Also if you really didn't want to talk to him you could have just told him you are busy but you continued to engage in conversation.

If it were me in this situation I'd choose to work at the office...

 

[CynBeth]

It is ridiculous for him to get mad at you since he neglected to tell you about the order. You are not a mind reader and had no way of knowing there was a perishable package to look out for when you could. Since it was so important he should have made attempts to call you to check on this.

 

[fla4fun]

I'm quoting this message but there are others in the same vein. This is crazy to me. Everyone I know works outside office hours. I'm in education and I eat at my desk while answering email every day. I get to the school at 7:00 and leave, at the earliest, at 4:30. 3 out of 5 days I leave at 5:00 or after. Then I work in the evening to prepare for the next day. I also work on the weekends to prepare for the next week. Are there people who really don't work a minute outside their work hours?

I will admit that I made an assumption that the OP works an hourly position instead of salary. My sister works a salary position as a manager and often has to put in extra hours but because she is salary she is not working off the clock. Her “clock” is basically 24/7, whenever she is needed, including holidays and weekends. If something particularly egregious happens and she ends up working a week or more without a day off she will usually get extra time off as compensation.

I do not know how it currently works in the education field. Are teachers paid hourly? I always assumed they were salary to cover the portion of the year where they don’t have students but may still be concluding one year’s paperwork and making plans for the next. I know teachers have to do a lot of work outside of the classroom. The only experience I have with teaching was my mom being an elementary school teacher back in the 70s. A lot has changed since then for sure. I apologize for any misunderstanding.

However, I stand by my words as far as an hourly job. No one working an hourly job should be working off the clock. If the OP is limited to 40 hours and has more work than can be completed in 40 hours, that needs to be communicated to management. Either they will okay the overtime if the tasks are urgent or they will allow the task to be completed the next day to keep the hours steady. Let them know in writing. As another poster commented, there can be lawsuits depending on where you live if someone reports they had to work off the clock. It may not be the OP reporting it, but they should keep their ducks in a row and have everything documented just in case. Every company I have ever worked for has limited the amount of OT and required prior approval to work it. Sometimes the work was urgent and they said okay and sometimes it wasn’t and they said no, do it later.

I don’t mind working extra hours, but if I do I want to make sure I am compensated for it. My career is not a volunteer position. I work in accounting and during month end and year end close we might put in 16 hours a day for up to a week. It’s important work and it has set deadlines and that is one time the OT is typically approved.