Promposals....

[cabanafrau]

Regardless of the date, the point remains the same. Many of us managed to go to multiple proms without making a big deal out of asking or being asked. It was assumed that couples would go together. Many people bought expensive dresses, without their date having to formally ask via posters, sticky notes or anything else. If you weren't a couple, a phone call or asking at school was the most that was done. That worked for generations, without girls getting all dress up in their expensive dresses, then being surprised at the last minute, by their date not show up.

It's not surprising that parents of kids that have done this think it's great. We all support our kids. Many who have managed to go to prom, announce their pregnancy, reveal the sex, etc., without making a big deal about it don't see the need for it. Both situations are totally understandable. Personally, I think much of it is over the top, but to each their own. I just don't see a reason to get so upset over it. The hyperbole by some is silly. Support your kid all you want. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. There's no need to greatly exaggerate what others are saying though.

So it's silly hyperbole to condone my daughter doing a promposal? But interestingly the opinions of those who admit promposals aren't a thing where they live have a more valid insight into the trend because they get their info from? Online? The news? Those sources of information are going to feature the OTT. That becomes the stick they measure it all against. That's neither valid or reality in my experience. Neither is the desperate grab for attention or an attempt to make their friends or peers feel inferior in some kind of twisted competition.

I've "condoned" my daughter's behavior of making her boyfriend special Valentine's treats, Christmas gifts and other fun and silly things as well. It's harmless fun. I assume you tag that "making a big deal" of that as well. As far as getting upset -- I think a couple posters in this thread might need to be checked on for how tight they're clutching those pearls in fear that this plague will come to their town. Then there's the "think of the children" brigade who are gushing with the gratitude theirs are too young for this and desperately hoping it won't happen when their moppets reach the age for prom.

I've asked repeatedly, but none of the critics seem to want to answer it directly -- if promposals are happening and you don't see, hear or pay for it, why does it bother you? Don't resort to the kneejerk response involving OTT promposals. What's the harm in a simple promposal between two people wanting to go to prom, whether they're an existing couple or someone simply has the desire to ask someone else to go to prom? Why does it matter to you how they did it? Silly hyperbole by some -- ya think?

 

[Hikergirl]

Regardless of the date, the point remains the same. Many of us managed to go to multiple proms without making a big deal out of asking or being asked. It was assumed that couples would go together. Many people bought expensive dresses, without their date having to formally ask via posters, sticky notes or anything else. If you weren't a couple, a phone call or asking at school was the most that was done. That worked for generations, without girls getting all dress up in their expensive dresses, then being surprised at the last minute, by their date not show up.

The idea that because we did this back in the day every generation after us should never do anything different is ridiculous. I mean really, what about us, we could have survived if we did things the way our parents did too, but we didn't because things change from generation to generation. Yes we survived, and you know what, we would have survived if there were promposals too.
I'm sure if you think back to when you were 17 you can think of something that kids did that was "not needed" and ridiculous. Of course you can, we all can.


The problem I see is that some of you assume things about promposals and apply that thinking to all of them, when you really have no clue what they are all like. And while I don't think they are GREEAATT, I don't see the issues with them that some of you do. But that is because I've witnessed a couple of them, and heard from others about their own and they really weren't a big deal, or a big public display, or expensive over the top one-upping their friends type things.
Watching the viral videos and reading on Yahoo about a tiny fraction of the promposals that happen doesn't really give you a real picture of them. Assuming they are all like that is like reading the Enquirer and thinking that is really the news.

 

[luvsJack]

Ummm...it's really not important to me at all. It's just something I think is ridiculous. It's obviously something you consider important because you condone/endorse it and see nothing wrong with it. That's fine.

I see nothing wrong with it not sure how that makes it important to me. I wasn't exactly asked so its hard to say I "condone" it. I don't see anything wrong with a lot of things teens and young adults do but I don't exactly see it as important in my life. And some things I may think "well that is different" to put it nicely but again, don't see it as important enough to say I don't like it or hope it goes away or anything else that has been said here.

The thing is that a whole bunch of people get their knickers in a twist over anybody celebrating anything: graduations, promotions, prom, pregnancy, gender reveals, weddings, ANYTHING. Why on earth does anyone truly care what someone else chooses to celebrate? These kids celebrate prom by doing something silly and special between the two who are going together and too many blow it way out of proportion.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

OH NOOOOOOO

I just think it's something overblown and has no real purpose. It seems like a case of oneupmanship and sets people up to feel bad if they don't get one as great as their friends.

I think they are hysterical.

But I think having your makeup done, your hair styled and hiring the photographer is too.

I can't wait until these kids get married and have kids. Then I can really laugh at the crazy antics.

I really think this comes from raising children that think every poop is photo worthy and cause for celebration.

 

[cabanafrau]

I see nothing wrong with it not sure how that makes it important to me. I wasn't exactly asked so its hard to say I "condone" it. I don't see anything wrong with a lot of things teens and young adults do but I don't exactly see it as important in my life. And some things I may think "well that is different" to put it nicely but again, don't see it as important enough to say I don't like it or hope it goes away or anything else that has been said here.

The thing is that a whole bunch of people get their knickers in a twist over anybody celebrating anything: graduations, promotions, prom, pregnancy, gender reveals, weddings, ANYTHING. Why on earth does anyone truly care what someone else chooses to celebrate? These kids celebrate prom by doing something silly and special between the two who are going together and too many blow it way out of proportion.

Oh I full on condoned my daughter creating a promposal for her boyfriend -- in that I saw what she was doing, told her it was cute and I thought he would like it, and did nothing to stop it. Mind you, this was after I had a year to absorb the consequences of her being on the receiving end of the promposal the prior year. There is simply no excuse for such lousy parenting on my part. I am clearly quite content with raising such a shallow, attention seeking, vapid and useless young lady.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think they are hysterical.

But I think having your makeup done, your hair styled and hiring the photographer is too.

I can't wait until these kids get married and have kids. Then I can really laugh at the crazy antics.

I really think this comes from raising children that think every poop is photo worthy and cause for celebration.

Sounds like sour grapes because your kids' poops couldn't possibly measure up. Trust me, I have photographic evidence of the superiority of mine. The celebrations have indeed been EPIC. That's what our entire existence is centered around -- celebrating the super specialness of our princess after all.

 

[Hikergirl]

The thing is that a whole bunch of people get their knickers in a twist over anybody celebrating anything: graduations, promotions, prom, pregnancy, gender reveals, weddings, ANYTHING. Why on earth does anyone truly care what someone else chooses to celebrate? These kids celebrate prom by doing something silly and special between the two who are going together and too many blow it way out of proportion.

So true.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think they are hysterical.

But I think having your makeup done, your hair styled and hiring the photographer is too.

I can't wait until these kids get married and have kids. Then I can really laugh at the crazy antics.

I really think this comes from raising children that think every poop is photo worthy and cause for celebration.

What girl doesn't get her hair done for prom? Mine was in 1985, everyone got hair and nails done. The reason there are more photos today is because of cell phones, its just SO easy. And this is coming from the biggest photo slacker mom, who had to ask friends for pictures of my kids when they had to bring them in to school for something. Fortunately they used to print out extra copies for me! Now they just include them in texts and I save them on my phone.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I think they are hysterical.

But I think having your makeup done, your hair styled and hiring the photographer is too.

I can't wait until these kids get married and have kids. Then I can really laugh at the crazy antics.

I really think this comes from raising children that think every poop is photo worthy and cause for celebration.

I thought everyone got their makeup and hair done? Or at least hair and nails.

I still get my hair and makeup professionally done for special occasions. It's a lot of fun and makes you feel awesome.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

What girl doesn't get her hair done for prom? Mine was in 1985, everyone got hair and nails done. The reason there are more photos today is because of cell phones, its just SO easy. And this is coming from the biggest photo slacker mom, who had to ask friends for pictures of my kids when they had to bring them in to school for something. Fortunately they used to print out extra copies for me! Now they just include them in texts and I save them on my phone.

You kind of ignored the makeup done. And the hiring of photographer. And yes, both are done around here. People make appointments for makeup and book photographers.

I certainly remember doing my nails or doing my hair. Heck, even doing my makeup. But paying to have my makeup done? Not a chance.

 

[mjkacmom]

You kind of ignored the makeup done. And the hiring of photographer. And yes, both are done around here. People make appointments for makeup and book photographers.

I certainly remember doing my nails or doing my hair. Heck, even doing my makeup. But paying to have my makeup done? Not a chance.

Times change. Many women I know get at least a blow out and makeup done for fancy occasions. Weddings, Christmas parties... It's offered everywhere, and common. I doubt anyone got their makeup or hair done for my wedding, besides the wedding party, but now it's a common occurrence. No professional prom pictures here, but there is a photographer at the prom venue. There is a full dinner, so they just take the limos/party buses straight from the home where they are taking pictures (there might be a professional photographer there) to the banquet hall.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Maybe it is simply that Proms of today, is the Wedding of the past. Yes, people had all of that done for their Wedding.

But this is a dance. It isn't a proposal, it is an invite to a dance. It is a special dance, but it is a dance. Proposals are for marriage.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe it is simply that Proms of today, is the Wedding of the past. Yes, people had all of that done for their Wedding.

But this is a dance. It isn't a proposal, it is an invite to a dance. It is a special dance, but it is a dance. Proposals are for marriage.

And proposals are for prom!

 

[luvsJack]

You kind of ignored the makeup done. And the hiring of photographer. And yes, both are done around here. People make appointments for makeup and book photographers.

I certainly remember doing my nails or doing my hair. Heck, even doing my makeup. But paying to have my makeup done? Not a chance.

I did back in the 80's. It wasn't that unheard of. Most of the girls here have their make up done at Sephora or MAX for the cost of a couple of products they are buying anyway. A few actually hire photographer but most have someone with a nice camera that does it for free. Even the ones that hire someone, go in as a group so its not really that much per couple. Same with the party buses and limos--a big group goes in together so not really that much.

 

[Hikergirl]

You kind of ignored the makeup done. And the hiring of photographer. And yes, both are done around here. People make appointments for makeup and book photographers.

I certainly remember doing my nails or doing my hair. Heck, even doing my makeup. But paying to have my makeup done? Not a chance.

Meh, its a formal event, some girls want make-up that is a little nicer than their everyday stuff. I know if I tried to that on my own I'd probably end up looking like Tammy Faye.

My dd's groups didn't hire a photographer for either of the proms but most of us parents had our cameras and multiple lenses and took tons of pics. They don't do formal prom photos at the prom here, but the local newspaper had a photographer taking candids and they were put up on the newspapers website and you could purchase prints.
I don't really care how someone chooses to get pictures of a day/event that is important to them. Not sure why anyone would care what others choose to do with their own money.

 

[Hikergirl]

Maybe it is simply that Proms of today, is the Wedding of the past. Yes, people had all of that done for their Wedding.

But this is a dance. It isn't a proposal, it is an invite to a dance. It is a special dance, but it is a dance. Proposals are for marriage.

It's also a plan or suggestion, especially a formal or written one, put forward for consideration or discussion by others.
According to the dictionary anyway.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

And proposals are for prom!

So I guess people don't just ask someone to prom? Or invite them?

Now they propose?

Like I said, stuff like that used to be reserved for weddings.

 

[mjkacmom]

So I guess people don't just ask someone to prom? Or invite them?

Now they propose?

Like I said, stuff like that used to be reserved for weddings.

Some do, the same way proposals differ. Mine actally resembled a cute simple promposal. We had been together for 6 years, were living together, the church and hall were booked, but I still got proposed to (after the ring the I picked out was ready). It was private, some like public proposals, some very simple... Everyone is different.

 

[dish rag]

I can't get used to the idea of the prom being called prom. When did the the get removed?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I can't get used to the idea of the prom being called prom. When did the the get removed?

I've never heard it called "the prom" and I'm 34. It's just Prom.