Parent Christmas Gifts

You'rd a very thoughtful person, Tinkerbellandpeterpan. Should it be possible, I would imagine your parents would most love a visit from you. A scrapbook filled with photos of favorite family memories with captions could mean a lot. I love the ideas of experience gifts and food treats. You could also get them personalized stockings or an ornament that would be special to them. Whatever you decide, your care is evident. The pandemic has sure reinforced to me what a blessing my own beloved dad is. Cherish your time with your parents. God Bless You.
Thank you so much. We already drive an hour and a half each way to spend Tuesday through Thursday with them to cook meals, provide leftovers, help with doctor appointments as well as household chores/maintenance so short of moving in I think we are covered there (I don't mean this in a snarky way at all...genuinely responding). For my mom's 70th I tracked down family, former co-workers, long lost friends etc. and put together a scrapbook with pictures and treasured memories/letters/emails from each. My mom absolutely adored it. It was a lot of work but well worth it! My dad is in and out the hospital and rehab on the regular. So trust me, I am grateful for every moment. It all goes by so fast. But I know I don't need to tell you that. You are a great support to your parent. It's a tough spot.
 


I have the added challenge of having parents who had/have dementia. My mom, in particular, gets very upset if she thinks people are putting things in her room. She often doesn't recognize stuff she's had for years, much less new stuff. I've settled on coffee table type picture books with a gift message written very clearly to her on the inside.
 
Hug, Tinkerbellandpeterpan and well said. Thank you also for your kind words.

Hug also to you, Diskat, my beloved late grandma had dementia. It is heartbreaking indeed. Prayers.
 
My elderly mother tends to get cold feet in the winter, so I bought her a pair of battery-operated heated socks. She loves it. I also bought her and installed a bidet.....also highly loved.
I just got my MIL a bidet too! We love ours at home and I convinced her to give it a shot and installed the toilet seat kind on her toilet and she loves it. Now my husband’s aunt wants one too after using it at her house.

OP do your parents like the theater, a favorite genre of music you could find in concert or maybe a night out to a jazz club with you? We have season tickets for the touring broadway shows and we added an extra seat for my MIL to join us and that’s her gift for all the occasions to celebrate throughout the year. It’s 6 shows that we spend time together at.
 
One year I did a breakfast with DGS basket for ny in-laws. Got them both coffee mugs made w DGSs pics (with them) on them. Picked out their favorite breakfast foods and some extra splurge ( to them) items to go in it. It was a hit.
 
Both of our parents want cash. They live on SSI only so cash is what they want most. A few years back when DH parents could no longer due their own lawn care we paud for a service to handle the mowing, trimming and general yard maintenance. My MIL was not pleased with that gift and requested cash again. Going as far as telling us it was a "stupid gift" We stick with cash now.
 
She bragged about it and invited her friends over to try it. Installation was easy.
New party trend.....a bidet party. What do you bring for a hostess gift? Air freshener?

Thank you so much. We already drive an hour and a half each way to spend Tuesday through Thursday with them to cook meals, provide leftovers, help with doctor appointments as well as household chores/maintenance so short of moving in I think we are covered there (I don't mean this in a snarky way at all...genuinely responding). For my mom's 70th I tracked down family, former co-workers, long lost friends etc. and put together a scrapbook with pictures and treasured memories/letters/emails from each. My mom absolutely adored it. It was a lot of work but well worth it! My dad is in and out the hospital and rehab on the regular. So trust me, I am grateful for every moment. It all goes by so fast. But I know I don't need to tell you that. You are a great support to your parent. It's a tough spot.
Every week you spend 48 hours at your parents house? Showing love without saying a word. You are a great kid (no matter how old you are).
 
I get my mom a gift card for Acme grocery store and gift cards for local restaurants that she and her friends like to go to. My mom has money, but she doesn't like to spend it. I've also given her QVC gift cards in the past -- she LOVES shopping with them.
 
We finally said, ok, you want to give us a gift? Give a donation to x charity in our name, you get the feels from giving us something and the charity gets what they need. Now they give us cards with the name of the charity they gave to on the inside. Win for everyone.
I can't help but think of Seinfeld when I read this :).

 
Both of our parents want cash. They live on SSI only so cash is what they want most. A few years back when DH parents could no longer due their own lawn care we paud for a service to handle the mowing, trimming and general yard maintenance. My MIL was not pleased with that gift and requested cash again. Going as far as telling us it was a "stupid gift" We stick with cash now.

it's tricky with folks who receive SSI and other certain types of assistance. gifts of cash and gift cards that can be used to purchase food or shelter are supposed to be reported by the recipient and count dollar for dollar against their monthly amount (so $100 cash or gift card reduces another month's benefit by $100) and if they have resources close to the $2000 maximum and don't use the entire amount of cash/gift card in the month received and it takes them over that $2000 limit they can become entirely ineligible. when I worked for dshs I had several clients get caught up with this (and social security gets esp. harsh if they find people are not forthcoming in reporting these gifts). your lawn service gift was perfect b/c it would not have been reportable nor countable. I hated it when a well meaning relative would gift one of my clients monetarily and it ended up a wash with their benefit reduction :guilty: ,
 
This thread has made me feel better – not necessarily that we all are in the same boat when buying for our parents, but as someone else mentioned, my mom has early signs of memory issues – she has not been officially diagnosed with anything, simply because she refuses to see the neurologist she was referred to. But the constant repeating of questions, writing stuff down, etc has been going on since Covid (just slowly progressing), and now its progressing to us wondering about how well she is maintaining household chores, cooking, etc.

So all that said, while the holidays are wonderful times, they can also be sad and overwhelming as loved ones age. As I was reading this thread it reminded me that I am certainly not alone.

We have my parents, and DH has both his parents (divorced) and a step mom as well. So we have a total of five parents that the holiday gift giving question comes back up every year. We are blessed that they aren’t on a tight budget themselves, and also they still gift us quite well at the holidays too, so it’s hard to not have something to give back in return.

My FIL and wife did tell us this year they did not want gifts. They want each of their adult children/families to get them a 8x10 canvas photo that can sit on the table below their wall mounted television We will do that, but I still feel awkward not doing more. They are both healthy and active so I am thinking about some sort of outing related giftcard for them. My daughter would also like to learn to crochet and I do not know how, so I am thinking of gifting my DD and step MIL the exact same Wooble sets so they could work on that together.

My MIL was widowed in 2019 and a year or so later sold their home and relocated back to her hometown (the city DH and I live in – but she also has a home in Florida) That said, she had a lot of house related stuff for a few years we could buy, but she told me a month or so ago she didn’t really have any needs. I know she is an avid reader both physical books and Kindle, and think I may look into the Book of the Month subscription service. While she is a lovely lady, she is a loner, so I may look into another subscription gift too – sort of the gift that keeps on giving.

As for my own parents – well, my mom has memory issues, and dad was raised very much to follow traditions. So while they do not need a single thing added to their home (they are basically hoarders already – they love thrift stores and estate sales and seriously go weekly), they would be confused and honestly hurt wtih no gifts. I have considered an outing for them but my mom would forget and then think we didn’t give them anything for Christmas (if she remembered…). For many years, due to the ridiculous amount of stuff already in their home, I have pretty much stuck to restaurant giftcards for them both. I may stick with that. I may get my mom a small diamond art set and see if I can get her set up at a table and show her how to do it while we are there. She used to be very crafty, but not sure she really cares enough about it now My sister has mentioned daily essentials like detergent, deodorant, etc.

Well I think it may have been more therapeutic than anything else for me to type all this out 😊 I’m not sure I added any suggestions that are usable.
 
it's tricky with folks who receive SSI and other certain types of assistance. gifts of cash and gift cards that can be used to purchase food or shelter are supposed to be reported by the recipient and count dollar for dollar against their monthly amount (so $100 cash or gift card reduces another month's benefit by $100) and if they have resources close to the $2000 maximum and don't use the entire amount of cash/gift card in the month received and it takes them over that $2000 limit they can become entirely ineligible. when I worked for dshs I had several clients get caught up with this (and social security gets esp. harsh if they find people are not forthcoming in reporting these gifts). your lawn service gift was perfect b/c it would not have been reportable nor countable. I hated it when a well meaning relative would gift one of my clients monetarily and it ended up a wash with their benefit reduction :guilty: ,
Thanks for the insight. I had no idea these types of gifts could be a wash/hurt them.
 
They want each of their adult children/families to get them a 8x10 canvas photo that can sit on the table below their wall mounted television
One of the best gifts we have gotten for the parents has been a digital photo frame that we can send photos to without being there via email.

Just make sure you connect it to their wifi so they don't have to fool with it and can just enjoy the photos of the family.
 
My sister has mentioned daily essentials like detergent, deodorant, etc

i have one of the big (90 tab) containers of cascade dishwasher pods to include as a gift for one family member-with only a household of one it should last them at least 6 months :rotfl: they are also a huge pb&j fan with a particular brand/flavor of jam that can be more elusive to find/more costly than they like to spend so I have a 2 pack of the biggest containers of jif I could find and 6 jars of their favorite jam.
 
One of the best gifts we have gotten for the parents has been a digital photo frame that we can send photos to without being there via email.

Just make sure you connect it to their wifi so they don't have to fool with it and can just enjoy the photos of the family.
We have the same thing. DH does puzzles while the photos just scroll by.
 
I told this story on another thread, for DH 75th birthday, all the grand kids write a memory down…..I remember when grandpa and I did…….

At his birthday dinner, the kids stood and read their stories.

Maybe do a remember the Christmas we baked cookies and the dog ate them all, we slept by the tree, etc.
 
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