Moms of Boy/Girl Twins? Older Boy/Girl siblings sharing a room

[PaulaSue]

My friend Carol was just at a twin playgroup and has a question. She has 5 year old twins and was just told it is illegal to have boy/girl siblings share a room past five years old. Is this true? She is planning on seperatinig them in a few months after little brother gets a little older and flip flop the rooms, but is worried she should do it a little sooner.

I told her it doesn't sound right/true. We live in Pa if that makes a difference.

Has anyone heard this before?

 

[Beth76]

I can't possibly imagine that is true.

 

[puffkin]

I have a twin brother, and live in PA. I never heard that rule before. I do think it is a bit odd though that they are still together in the same room. B/G twins just don't seem to have that bond that identical twins or same sex twins seem to have. I mean, I think they have a special bond, but not as much dependance on each other.

My mom was in a twins club and we knew quite a few families with b/g twins (I also have b/g twin second cousins) and we all seemed to be very independent of our twins. I just can't imagine why they would need to still share a room at that age? I would suggest that she start by seperating them at home because once they get in school they will be separated. It will make it easier for them in the long run. It will be a lot different for the boy twin to be in a room with the younger sibling and could possibly be really good for him.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I doubt that is true. Right now my 5yo DS is sharing a room with his almost 3yo sister because I can't trust her yet to sleep in the room with her 1yo sister.

 

[ely3857]

In the UK it is illegal for siblings of opposite sex to share a room after the oldest child is 10, 5 seems a bit young to be seperating them if there's no need.



Jodie

 

[SaratogaShan]

Give me a break......Me and my brother are 18 months apart and shared a room until I was in middle school (bunk beds). We had so much fun! We did fight about who got to sleep on the top bunk!

My dad was the baby of 10 children. I think they all just slept wherever they could find an empty space....and to my knowledge, none of my aunts and uncles were permanently psychologically damaged or have ongoing incestuous relationships

ETA: Maybe that would explain some of my strange cousins........

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have a twin brother, and live in PA. I never heard that rule before. I do think it is a bit odd though that they are still together in the same room.

It could totally be a space issue. If they have a 3BR house and the baby isn't old enough to share with an older sibling of the same sex (either the older sib will wake the baby or visa versa) then sharing makes sense.

We used to live in a 3BR and when my third child was born my older 2 children shared a room--my DD was 6yo and my son was 3yo. Once my third baby was old enough to share we put the 2 boys together, but until that time it worked out fine.

 

[binny]

interesting question I did a little digging and came up with a few things:

from the UK :
http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=10&threadid=20287


from the US
Can a landlord or agent limit the number of children allowed in a bedroom, or prohibit the sharing of bedrooms by children of the opposite sex?
No. Although a landlord may set "occupancy standards' for the number of people that will be allowed to live in a unit, the standards should not be based on the age or sex of the individuals. [Note: The fair housing laws do not limit the applicability of any reasonable local, State, or Federal restrictions regarding the maximum number of persons permitted to occupy a housing unit.]



This is the National Fair Housing site
http://www.fairhousing.com/


They would be the definitive answer.

 

[Microcell]

I can't believe it is true. Dh and his sister had to share a room until he was 8 or so because of financial necessity- they lived in a two bedroom teachers apartment. BTW, nothing strange happened or was going to, they are brother and sister, that is still taboo here.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I have boy/girl twins who are five (almost six) and share a room. It is done prinarily out of necessity. Right now we only have two bedrooms. Hopefully, by summer DH will have finished the master bedroom in the attic and the kids can have their own rooms.

Having said that, they will probably continue to sleep in the same room even when they have their own rooms. They are very close and don't sleep well unless the other is in the room. The plan is to give them both trundle beds, so that they can choose to sleep in their own rooms, or bunk in with their twin.

I can't answer for other states, but in New York it is not illegal to have boy/girl siblings in the same room. I do know that if you become a foster parent, then you have to have boys and girls in seperate rooms. I don't know if there are other situations where the courts become involved.

 

[golfgal]

I think where this comes into play is that there are some rules for foster families about opposite sex children sharing a room. My B/G twins shared a room until they were 8 or so by choice. I totally disagree with the poster that said they don't share the same bond as same sex twins, my twins are EXTREMELY close. They don't like being apart for more then a couple hours and they can sense when one isn't feeling well or what ever. It is kind of spooky sometimes. Often when one is at a friends house or wherever, the other will say "she's on her way home" and she shows up a couple minutes later. The first question out of each of their mouths in the morning or after they have been gone is 'where is _____" (the other twin).

 

[TurboKitty]

from a press release at www.fairhousing.com re Montgomery County, Pa., December 16, 2003;

Prior to its revision, the Borough's overcrowding ordinance stated that opposite sex children over the age of five could not share a bedroom and also prohibited a family with two adults and one child over the age of eight years from sharing a one bedroom apartment. The Council notified the Borough that the ordinance was in violation of the Fair Housing Act and requested that it be repealed immediately. Occupancy limits to prevent overcrowding should be based upon reasonable factors such as square footage requirements and not on the gender and sex of children in a household.

Her children are fine where they are until she and they are ready to change rooms.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Weird.

I am sure there are PLENTY of people around here in blatant violation of maximum occupancy standards. Separating siblings by gender is probably the least of anyone's worries. Realistically, if you can fit 2 sets of bunk beds in a bedroom you could cram a bunch of kids into a 3 bedroom house. Unless the children are abused or neglected I can't see anyone making an issue out of it.

I don't think maximum occupancy applies to homes that are owned by the occupant unless there is more than one family living there, either. I think it is more for rental properties or single-family dwellings with three or four families in them. When we lived in Houston there was a house down the street with three families living in it. There were at least six kids (there may have been 7) and six adults. The oldest and youngest were boys, ages 12 and 3, and the other four were girls, probably ages 4, 6, 7 and 9. I can only imagine what sort of sleeping arrengements they had! Far more worrisome than B/G twins in the same room!

 

[aprilgail2]

I doubt its illegal, inappropriate yes, illegal no......I dont' think after 5 they should share bedrooms at all, nevermind with a sibling of the opposite sex. I remember how I liked my privacy of being able to retreat to my own room, I couldn't imagine having to share my personal space growing up.

 

[va32h]

I dont' think after 5 they should share bedrooms at all, nevermind with a sibling of the opposite sex. I remember how I liked my privacy of being able to retreat to my own room, I couldn't imagine having to share my personal space growing up.

You don't think any children should share a bedroom? That's not very practical. I have four siblings, and by your logic, my parents would have had to build a six-bedroom house! I don't think our neighborhood even had lots big enough to build a six bedroom house.

 

[PaulaSue]

Thanks for the answers!

I will forward the links to her.

Yes, she does live in a 3 bedroom townhouse and the "baby" is one so they were waiting until he is a little older and sleeping better to put him in with big brother.

The twins are very close and I don't find it odd that they are sharing a room at all. They just turned 5 and are in pre-K, heck my girls share a room too.

 

[minkydog]

You don't think any children should share a bedroom? That's not very practical. I have four siblings, and by your logic, my parents would have had to build a six-bedroom house! I don't think our neighborhood even had lots big enough to build a six bedroom house.

Yeah, but wouldn't that have been heaven I have 4 sibs too, and 3 of them are girls. We spent every night of our childhood together. I have all the dope on who wet the bed, who sleepwalked, who snuck out at night So far none of us have turned into serial killers or child molesters

My two younger kids roomed together until DD was 6 and DS was 4 because we simply didn't have another bedroom. When I realized that DD was changing her clothes in her closet out of modesty, we quickly made other arrangements. We finished the basement off for DS-then 13 and put him there so the other two kids could have separate rooms. It has worked very well.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I doubt its illegal, inappropriate yes, illegal no......I dont' think after 5 they should share bedrooms at all, nevermind with a sibling of the opposite sex. I remember how I liked my privacy of being able to retreat to my own room, I couldn't imagine having to share my personal space growing up.

Before my DD started college the person leading one of the parent meetings said that one of the biggest issues in college was sharing a dorn room and the problem occurs mainly because kids are used to having their own space and not dealing with a roommate. He said that when more kids used to share there weren't so many room issues with college kids.

Two of my boys do share a room--my 12 and 6yo's. My 15yo son has his own room and my DD still has her room even though she's in college. We're turning her room into a "guest" room that she will be able to use when she's home. We almost split my 2 boys up and gave one their own room, but for now they share well and it works out best to do it the way we're going to do it. In a couple years when my 15yo goes to college we'll probably give each of the remaining boys their own room. We have a large house, with plenty of places for everyone to go to if they want to retreat. My 6 and 12yo use their room to sleep--their interests are normally on playing basketball, playing video games, etc. My 15yo is a different story and he really needs his own room since he plays guitar, plays around on the keyboard, etc. NOBODY wants to share a room with him!

 

[justhat]

We're planning to have our new baby share a room with our daughter regardless of what the gender is. Of course we'll wait till the baby is sleeping at night so that we don't have 2 kids up everynight, but after that they'll share till we can move to a bigger place. My reasoning (cause we have to move before this new baby is born anyway, but I'm planning to go to a 2 bedroom, not a 3 bedroom) is that my daughter currently sleeps in our room and I think if given the choice of sleeping alone or with a sibling, she'd take the sibling.

 

[CEDmom]

I doubt its illegal, inappropriate yes, illegal no......I dont' think after 5 they should share bedrooms at all, nevermind with a sibling of the opposite sex. I remember how I liked my privacy of being able to retreat to my own room, I couldn't imagine having to share my personal space growing up.

I shared a bedroom with 2 of my brothers until I was 5. They were 7 & 8. Sharing with them are some of my best childhood memories. Not to pick on you or anything but I recall in a prior thread that your DD often sleeps with you. Some might think that inappropriate.