Looking for advise: sending two 21 year olds to WDW by themselves- first time!

[barb969]

RP for $300 - definitely not in December.

I just looked it up. It is actually a little less than$300 for Dec. 9 - 13

 

[loislane]

Sending my daughter and her fiancé to WDW by themselves in December (xmas gift and chance to "adult" a little)
Neither are good at planning, getting up early, Genie+ (or whatever its name is now) or being organized. I've always down all this and they just followed alone (shout out to all the uber planning moms!!!)
They'd never make it to rode drop. They sleep till noon most days lol
If I don't do a little pre planning, they will just show up at the wrong park, on the wrong day and get into a few long longs and waste their trip

I'm gonna have them stay at one of the all star hotels to make transportation easy.

Thinking of maybe booking them MNSSHP and Jollywood Nights, then maybe get a 2 or 3 day pass for the other parks.
They are really only interested in rides and just being at Disney. (not into characters, shows etc)
Would this be the best way for them to do the rides?
I'm wrestling with allowing them to do this themselves and not wasting a ton of money for a trip that they couldn't get anything done.

I'm going to be maybe the odd one out here but, I say let them do their own thing. Do you tell everyone else you give gifts to how to use them?
We paid for a significant portion of our son and new DIL's honeymoon trip as our gift to them - but it was their trip and not our place to tell them what do to or not do during their trip. They probably did every single thing differently than I would do, but they had a fabulous time.
What makes for a wonderful trip for me is not the same as what makes a wonderful trip for someone else. Who cares if they sleep until noon. Let them do their thing - they can close out all the parks and enjoy some of the nightlife at Disney Springs or the Boardwalk.

 

[sheilafri]

Do they want this, or do you want this? I do not mean that to be snarky at all, just wondering who has the highest interest in a December trip to Disney for these kids? If they are not showing an interest, it is a lot of money to spend. Maybe your kids would do better at Universal. Still fun, less planning.

They are adults. They should be able to vacation the way they want. If you need to set every step for them, you should just go with them and make it a family trip.

FYI - MNSSHP isn't going on in December.

Could do a Christmas party at MK and Jollywood nights at HS. Maybe skip daytime tickets for those days?

 

[sheilafri]

Also to people insinuating that OP is being too controlling: our kids are so busy with jobs/life, they’ve said they appreciate when I plan a vacation for them. Granted, we are all going together, but they are willing to do what they are told, when they are told to do it. We also give them some time on their own. They are a couple after all. They know they would not get a vacation at all if they had to do the planning as they just don’t have the time to plan it.

 

[DCLMP]

Sending my daughter and her fiancé to WDW by themselves in December (xmas gift and chance to "adult" a little)
Neither are good at planning, getting up early, Genie+ (or whatever its name is now) or being organized. I've always down all this and they just followed alone (shout out to all the uber planning moms!!!)
They'd never make it to rode drop. They sleep till noon most days lol
If I don't do a little pre planning, they will just show up at the wrong park, on the wrong day and get into a few long longs and waste their trip

I'm gonna have them stay at one of the all star hotels to make transportation easy.

Thinking of maybe booking them MNSSHP and Jollywood Nights, then maybe get a 2 or 3 day pass for the other parks.
They are really only interested in rides and just being at Disney. (not into characters, shows etc)
Would this be the best way for them to do the rides?
I'm wrestling with allowing them to do this themselves and not wasting a ton of money for a trip that they couldn't get anything done.

As adults they should be able to do whatever they want. Why are you planning this for them? I understand its a gift, but no one wants a gift with strings attached.

 

[Marthasor]

Personally, I would give them the gift and then let them plan on their own. I honestly can't imagine dictating my 21-year old, adult child's day. Some of our best trips are when we just go with the flow and sleep in late. There are so many ways to do WDW.

 

[reddog21]

How will they ever survive marriage if they can't survive Disney?

This sound like a great title for a book.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

They are 21. My opinion is you sound like you are babying them when Disney is not that hard of a thing to navigate.

If you have to book everything, explain everything, and give them a schedule then you better go along to hold their hand and make sure they actually show up for the ADR or party.

My suggestion is tell them to do their own research and book things themselves if they want to do them. And if they want to sleep til noon and not get on as many rides then that's their choice.

I'm not trying to sound totally rude or anything but like this is DISNEY. If they can't be trusted to be responsible going to Disney then God help them in every other aspect of life.

 

[scrappinginontario]

Another question for OP. Are you okay with them going to Disney and you paying but them never/rarely hitting the parks?

It really seems like a gift towards a trip that they take full control over planning and execution is a good option, and they go wherever they wish to go.

 

[SamanthaH]

Sending my daughter and her fiancé to WDW by themselves in December (xmas gift and chance to "adult" a little)
Neither are good at planning, getting up early, Genie+ (or whatever its name is now) or being organized. I've always down all this and they just followed alone (shout out to all the uber planning moms!!!)
They'd never make it to rode drop. They sleep till noon most days lol
If I don't do a little pre planning, they will just show up at the wrong park, on the wrong day and get into a few long longs and waste their trip

I'm gonna have them stay at one of the all star hotels to make transportation easy.

Thinking of maybe booking them MNSSHP and Jollywood Nights, then maybe get a 2 or 3 day pass for the other parks.
They are really only interested in rides and just being at Disney. (not into characters, shows etc)
Would this be the best way for them to do the rides?
I'm wrestling with allowing them to do this themselves and not wasting a ton of money for a trip that they couldn't get anything done.

I have a 20 year old and 23 year old son that are currently on a family trip that I had to duck out of last minute due to a cancer diagnosis and need for immediate surgery. I wondered if they would spend their days sleeping in and not doing much in the room I had paid for. When I was out of the picture, they rose to the occasion, planned, and executed all the details themselves. I guess they don’t need me anymore, but that’s a glorious realization, especially under the circumstances. Your daughter and her finance may surprise you. I think if you have historically been the planner, they may have just trusted your planning and gone with it. It doesn’t mean they are not capable of planning themselves. I also think it is ok if they sleep until noon. Also even ok if they show up at the wrong park on the wrong day. Mistakes like that can be invaluable. If you want to gift them the trip, do it, and then don’t think anymore of it. The rest is up to them. Let them plan all of it. Hope they have a wonderful trip! I can tell you want what’s best for them.

 

[CarolynFH]

Sending my daughter and her fiancé to WDW by themselves in December (xmas gift and chance to "adult" a little)

I guess I’m just part of the choir here - you’re giving them a very generous gift, but I’d step back and let them do their own thing. If it’s a chance to “adult” a little, you need to give them that chance.

 

[sponica]

Also to people insinuating that OP is being too controlling: our kids are so busy with jobs/life, they’ve said they appreciate when I plan a vacation for them. Granted, we are all going together, but they are willing to do what they are told, when they are told to do it. We also give them some time on their own. They are a couple after all. They know they would not get a vacation at all if they had to do the planning as they just don’t have the time to plan it.

It's one thing when it's planned like that, it's another thing when it's here's this gift but you need to do A, B, and C because I don't want to spend the money and have you sleep in all day.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

They are adults. People learn from their mistakes. If Mom bulldozes ahead of them clearing all problems in advance, they don't learn. How will they ever survive marriage if they can't survive Disney?

I agree with your overall point but wouldn't say mistake. How someone vacations is entirely their own thing. And it takes doing vacations, especially on your own, to figure out what you like and don't like, what you found someone else did (more like a parent) that you liked or didn't like. What is a priority or what you feel is valued.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I had to double check the ages. At 21 they are engaged but you're framing it like "adult a little"? For a Disney vacation?

It's not a gift if you're going to tell them how to do it all according to how you want them to do it. I'd even go so far as to say you need to completely remove yourself from the planning period. They've been before too.

I question did the OP genuinely give this as a Christmas gift because it's the vacation destination they wanted and enjoyed or because the daughter and fiance expressed that they wanted to go on their own but couldn't afford it. Either way step way back here or remove your funding so you can relieve yourself of the worries of how its being spent.

 

[Jwaire]

As a fellow Trip Leader, I understand this is hard, but it's not a gift if you plan on trying to control what they do.

If you are old enough to get engaged. You are old enough to plan a trip to Walt Disney World.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Also to people insinuating that OP is being too controlling: our kids are so busy with jobs/life, they’ve said they appreciate when I plan a vacation for them. Granted, we are all going together, but they are willing to do what they are told, when they are told to do it. We also give them some time on their own. They are a couple after all. They know they would not get a vacation at all if they had to do the planning as they just don’t have the time to plan it.

The OP has said the following

1) I'm gonna have them stay at one of the all star hotels
2) Thinking of maybe booking them MNSSHP and Jollywood Nights
3) maybe get a 2 or 3 day pass for the other parks
4) If I don't do a little pre planning (on behalf of the adult child and their fiance)
5) I'm wrestling with allowing them (they are 21 for pete's sake) to do this themselves and not wasting a ton of money (the OPs money) for a trip that they couldn't get anything done (done as in what the OP views as getting things done).

If you don't see any of these as controlling I'm not sure what you'd view as controlling. It really comes down to viewing providing money=you do it my way and that's never actually a gift. It's you attempting to control the situation as a guise of generosity. The OP may be well meaning but yeah.

 

[Jwaire]

Also to people insinuating that OP is being too controlling: our kids are so busy with jobs/life, they’ve said they appreciate when I plan a vacation for them. Granted, we are all going together, but they are willing to do what they are told, when they are told to do it. We also give them some time on their own. They are a couple after all. They know they would not get a vacation at all if they had to do the planning as they just don’t have the time to plan it.

Your adult kids are tagging along on your vacation. That's different than giving someone a vacation as a gift and then telling them what they're going to do or having expectations that they accomplish your list of objectives.

 

[Want2rentpoints]

Is this really what American society has come down to? Planning a trip for 21 year old ADULTS?
For most of human history people would be either off in war or having kids at that age; now they get to be lazy at Disney.
Come on!

 

[Mouse Tracker]

Sending my daughter and her fiancé to WDW by themselves in December

have them stay at one of the all star hotels

Separate rooms of course.......

 

[dez1978]

yikes... Firstly, if you are doing all the work, what "adulting" are they doing? Secondly, I agree with the PP who said if they can't handle planning Disney, they can't handle marriage and all that comes with it. If you don't think they can get up at a decent time and make it to reservations on time, how on earth are they prepared to live on their own??