Jenn's Journal - It's a Low Carb Life

[Storygirl]

Hello everyone! I have been a DISer for about 14 months now, but started this name to join WISH and really get back into a healthy lifestyle.

A bit about me: I am 31 years old - married to DS (33) and the proud mom of my beautiful son, 3 1/2. I have struggled with my weight since hitting puberty and am hovering around (big number) pounds now (I have to weigh myself to know for sure but last trip to the doctor was there) and I am 5'3". Size 26 pants, 22/24 tops.

I have PCOS, and because of that I am also diabetic. This is why my weight gain began right around the old 12/13 year old mark. I steadily gained weight, no matter how much I dieted or exercised and in college I turned to bulimia as a way to control my weight. Instead, it became a license to eat anything and then purge it. I have struggled off and on since then with my compulsive overeating and bulimia. I can go months without purging and then suddenly I'm doing it daily.

Also because of the PCOS, I was infertile. I had pretty much determined I would be childless (DH was never convinced) when my doctor suggested I try provera to start a period and then clomid to start ovulation. Much to my shock, it took two months and Ye Olde Pregnancy Teste came back positive!! I may not be a continuing diet success story, but I am a PCOS conception success story and I'd be fat forever if it meant I could have my DS. Fortunately, I can have both.

8 months after DS was born, my mom was killed in an accident, and I knew I had to do something for me...for her...for him. I was at an all time high (pregnancy excepted) of (bigger number) and was wearing a 30/32. Following the holidays in 2002, I went on my LC diet January 7 and stayed on it faithfully for one full year and then up to October of 2004. I lost 80 pounds and then stablized and didn't lose any more for months before I went off the diet. I made it to (not quite as big of a number) size 24 pants, and I felt GREAT!!! 22/24 may be huge for some people, but when you are at a 26/28 for years and then up to 30/32...well...24 (and some 22's) feels skinny!

I can't remember why I went off it, but then the holidays and a trip to WDW hit and I was pooched. I kept trying to get back on it all winter last year and couldn't do it. I was miserable in May when we left for WDW and not only was I not thinner than our trip in December, but I was UP a size!! I knew I had to get serious when I got back. Well, we got back on May 14 and I have finally made it 5 straight days (including a weekend) back on my diet and exercise.

My goal this time? To be solidly back in my 24s by my DS's birthday trip (WDW in late September). This is about 70 days. I know I can do this. I will indulge on our trip. I low carbed twice at WDW and I know I can do it, but I prefer to walk walk walk and indulge. So I'll need to go back and be strong when we get back - until we leave again at Thanksgiving. I need to make myself accountable and the support I have seen on this board is so wonderful - I want to give and receive.

I don't know how many of you are anti low carb - I would love to try WW, but with the PCOS, my doctor recommends low carbing healthily (veggies, fruits, etc - not a lot of "treats") and when I watch my carbs, I don't have to medicate for my diabetic condition, so it is the lifestyle for me.

My plan? At least three meals a day, small snacks. Stop purging. Drink water. Walk every day (I joined the Walk to Disney thread - 1474 miles to go!). Deal with stress head on, don't eat it and purge it.

I know this was long - I thank anyone who has read it...!

I'll start posting my food and exercise tomorrow and see where it takes me.

Thanks to all of you!!!!

EDITED: I took out the weight numbers, because I wanted to let my DH read my thread when he wants to and although he insists he doesn't care (and I believe him) I refuse to tell him what my weights are until I reach goal...weird huh? I can tell strangers, but not my own DH. I want to share this with him and I wasn't able to until I removed those numbers. Thanks for understanding!!

 

[eeyore25]

Hello and welcome to WISH. I have only been here a few weeks, maybe a month and everyone here is great. I never really thought that I would be doing something like this, but it really works.

You can do this and everyone on the board is here to support you. You've taken the first step and that is great. You lost 80 pounds once YAY for you!!! you can do it again!!!!!

Take care

 

[Storygirl]

Thank you eeyore25 for the words of encouragement!!

Today was Day 6 of my really watching carbs, but Day 1 of journaling...it helps. I feel that same obsession/committment that I had before when I was able to be successful. And it's so much better to have that focus with health rather than cake and doughnuts and such. Healthy food doesn't purge, you know...no reason to. I went grocery shopping yesterday to have things on hand to eat and that helps so much.

So far today has been very good (considering it's only 10:00 ). I didn't get a lot of sleep last night - work is really stressful right now and I hate the middle of the night worries. But I packed my breakfast and lunch and am all set - if I don't pack, I end up going with cravings at lunch time and that is never good.

breakfast at my desk was:

diet lime coke (my version of morning coffee)
Carb Control Raspberry yogurt
Flax o meal low carb granola

Just now my best friend and I took our morning break and walked a mile close to the building here. We usually go in the afternoon but it's already really hot and is just going to get worse. I'm glad it's out of the way.

Lunch is pre- packed and is a sandwich made with low carb/high flax and protein bread (Nature's Ovens 3 carbs per - I love this stuff!) and then roast beef, havarti cheese and a mayo/mustard combo. I also have a Slim fast coconut lc snack bar. I forgot to pack the cucumber slices I wanted to have (need veggies) but I'll have them as a snack when I get home. I brought some Carb Countdown milk and I may make an iced coffee with it later this afternoon as well.

Lunch is normally 11:00 or so, but a third friend wants to join us for the first time in eons and therefore has now pushed lunch back to at least noon. Not a big deal, but this is pretty typical of her so it's annoying. But hopefully bfast will hold me over...I do have the snack bar if it doesn't and I can keep drinking water.

I'm off to get some work done so I pick away at the pressure and make some go away. Guess what? I'm not perfect. Must keep reminding myself of that....

Thanks!!!

 

[kardiebelle]

Welcome the the DISwish world. We are here for encouragment and not to judge you at all. We all make huge mistakes and but we are all losing weight together. We do it one pound at a time. I know you can do it. For the sake of you life and your son you have to do it. Look foward and not backwards. One step at a time you will change yourself one pound at a time. Good luck and keep up the great work. You joined us now and you we will not let you leave us. We are here for you. TALK. Smiles Kardiebelle

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Hi, Jenn! Welcome to WISH! I read your story and it makes me say WOW and makes my heart go out to you. You've come a LONG way!And BTW, you aren't allowed to go back to the "yucky place" as a few WISHers have grabbed hold of you! We will pull you to the "yay! place" and ONEderland. Please stay with us...we want you to succeed!

A cheer to seal the deal!

Jenn!
YES YOU CAN!
WISH will help
So will your plan
Stick with us
The journey might be tough
We're here to help
Hey, good luck!

I wish you luck, positive thoughts and smiles today.

 

[Storygirl]

Thank you kardiebelle and tigercheer2009 - you really do make me feel welcome here!!

Today didn't go as planned - but when do they? Lunch was at 12:15 and I had a my low carb sandwich and lc snack bar and a huge water. Later, I sat at my desk around 2:30 and I was bored out of my mind. All I wanted to do was eat something. I didn't have anything handy, but I seriously considered heading down to the vending machines for some peanuts...but I knew it was boredom talking and I just kept drinking more water - I know that's a strategy but I must admit...water has never made me happier than food. I know it's an appetite thing, but I can still eat when I'm full. That would contribute to My Problem...

After work, I stopped at the grocery store to get things to make a lc stir fry - we have a beef tenderloin bought on major sale that either needs to make it onto the dinner table or into the freezer. I was excited when I got home - planning a high protein, high veggie meal (yes, I still did buy rice for DH and DS). But when I got home, DS said he had a headache and was running a temp. Some kids at his daycare had strep so we immediately called the doctor and brought him in. Yup. Positive. Forty five minutes later we got his prescription filled and back home at 8:00.

When home, DS wasn't hungry - had a fruit juice popsicle and headed to bed. DH made a quick sandwich. And me? I was starving so I scrambled some eggs with bacon pieces and chives and microwaved some pre cooked breakfast sausage and had breakfast for dinner. Yes, low carb. Yes, high protein. But not exactly the healthy meal I was going for. I'm not a low carber who eats a pound of bacon and bunless cheeseburgers up the wazoo - I like to eat salads and veggies and some fruits too. Oh well. I will make sure I eat plently of vegetables tomorrow...I'll be home with DS all day so I'll have lots of time to make salads and such to have on hand while he naps. In between working from home that is.

I do plan to have a dessert treat later. Dinner was very lc, so I will be able to have some berries later. We shall see.

Again - thank you all for the support. Tomorrow, when I don't have people in and out of my space I will be able to sit back and really read some other journals. I can't wait!

Oh and in case you were wondering...I am NOT going to get strep throat. I am NOT going to get sick. Uh uh. Not going to happen.

Even though DS and I shared a straw yesterday and he loves sloppy kisses.

Aint gonna happen!!

(PS - had my evening treat...about 3/4 c. vanilla lc ice cream (3 carbs), about 1/4 c. blueberries, 1/4 c. raspberries, 1 sliced strawberry and some reddi whip...I'd have been tempted into a bigger portion, but I reminded myself I have to fess up to the world, so I kept it as is. But it was heavenly...like the Artist Point Cobbler without the cake part...)

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Good morning Jenn with 2 n's! Just wanted to WISH you a very happy morning! I hope DS is okay...poor dearie! I hope you don't get sick because that preventative charm you said always helps.

Good luck on your journey today! Doing awesomely! Are you drinking your water?

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Jenn,

How are you this Tuesday?

Sounds like you made the best of it yesterday with heading to the doctor. Way to go on not going to the vending machine yesterday afternoon!!!!

Hope you have a great day. I hope your little one gets better soon. Poor little guy!

 

[Storygirl]

Good morning!

Today is an odd day - I am at home with DS - he is doing great...had a good breakfast and mini snack and is curled up watching cartoons and napping while I get some work done at home (got plenty of emailed Service Obs to do this morning!)

Breakfast was strange...I normally am hungry and want to eat, but this morning I just didn't want to take the time. It was great! Back to what I remember...I used to have to force myself to eat something to get the metabolism going and then have a mini snack later when I was more hungry. Perhaps ketosis is kicking in?? I ended up having about 1/2 c. lc granola and Carb Countdown milk. With the standard diet lime coke (my morning "coffee"). I'm still not hungry, but it's only 11:15 and I had a late breakfast.

Today - I plan to drink more water, get at least 20 minutes on the treadmill, and watch those carbs. Since I'm home, I'm going to get the veggies and such prepped for dinner so we can have a nice meal with effort in it. I also hope to get at least 8 Service obs done (have 6 done now) and do some cleaning around here. DH and DS hang out a lot in the family room and they make huge messes that neither seem capable of cleaning. The treadmill is down there and I HATE walking when the room is cluttered and such. It's always been my excuse..."clean downstairs so I can walk". Well...I guess I'll do it myself and then get DH to clean one of "my" rooms (he can't get off scott free, you know!)

Right now I'm going to get some more water and treat myself to reading some other journals. You are all so inspiring to me! I love the honesty on these threads...it is refreshing and makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Edited: Just walked 20 minutes on the tread (.68 miles) and took a quick shower. DS is supposed to be sleeping and I am having a chef salad for lunch - romaine lettuce, cucumber, cheese, turkey, roast beef, pepperoni, hard salami and...um...oh, about 6 green olives. Carb Options french dressing. It sounds huge, but theres only a little of everything. I guess it's more a garbage salad than anything...

And the ever present glass of water on the side.

More SO's (service obs) after lunch and then a good hour of Murder She Wrote (I can't help it - I love that show!) while DS relaxes/plays with Daddy when he gets home.

Snack: 5 medium shrimp and homemade sf cocktail sauce
slice of cheese
diet lime coke (treat for having tons of water)

Dinner: steak stirfy (steak, orange bell pepper, grean beans, water chestnuts, onion, snow peas in lc teriyaki sauce with thai chili paste), no rice

I am so full from dinner - I ate too much and drank too much. None of it was bad, so I'm not in a guilty/purge mode, but dang I am stuffed. Note to self: don't eat until your stomach hurts.

Had my treat dessert before bed - Cobbler-less Artist Point Berry Cobbler. And I was actually tempted for a moment to have a huge portion and purge it but then I thought - you'll have to post that! So I didn't. Wow! Journalling works! I know I have to be honest, because if I'm not - well I might as well not do this, right? Kept honest by the internet...who'd a thunk it?

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Morning!

You got a lot done...but what is a Service Ob? Good job, good luck and enjoy your day off!

 

[Storygirl]

Hi Tiger!!! I was just over in your journal!!

A Service Observation is a big part of my job (I manage a customer service dept for a Support Call Center). We record our technician's calls and then listen back and monitor them to make sure they hit certain predetermined points for best service. I believe Disney does the same with their CM's on the phone.

I love it - it is promoting really positive things in our office and I love the interaction with the techs - after I listen and evaluate I sit down with them and go over them and we have a lot of fun. I think I'll wait with the one on ones with these until I'm back at work...some of the guys might not want to sit down with me in my comfy jammies (yes - I'm home so I'm not getting out of my flannels jammy pants!)

And yup...sucking down water as we "speak"...

 

[pearlieq]

Wow. I mean wow. Are you my long lost twin???

I am so inspired to hear about your DS! I have PCOS. Scratch that--I'm pretty much a walking, screaming advertisement for PCOS. It's so inspiring to know that the Clomid worked for you!!! I've heard it's pretty great, but there's part of me that won't believe it until there's a real live baby in my arms.

I hear you about the purging as well. I did it fairly often through junior high, and steadily less and less through high school until I stopped my freshman year of college. Which is not to say I still don't feel the urge sometime. I'm been able to stop it so far, but I'm not about to take that for granted, you know? I really applaud your courage to face it, put it out there, and start dealing with it.

I think the way you're approaching your low carbing is a very healthy choice. I know some folks are very anti-low carb, and they do have some good points, but with PCOS our bodies and metabolism works differently and low carbing is very effective for us. You're right--pounds of bacon are not going to help, but a diet consisting mostly of fruits, vegetables, lean protien and controlled amounts of whole grains is going to do a lot for you. I bet you're going to feel a thousand times better once your body gets used to your new way of eating. I've been seriously thinking about doing the same thing, as whatever I'm doing now is obviously not working .

The best advice I can give you is to stick with this. It's hard sometimes. There are days when I'd rather crawl under my bed than have to record what I actually ate, but the people here are very kind, and very supportive and it's really worth it in the end.

Best of luck to you! You can do it!!!

 

[Storygirl]

Thank you Pearlieq!!! And I will give you all the support you want if you try to have a baby...it CAN be done!!!! Proof is supposedly sleeping down on the couch, but in reality is watching Toy Story...

Again, your story has really helped me and I thank you!!

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Hi DNJ (double n Jenn...we need nicknames...I swear to you)! Thanks for the explanation! And I need a new pair of jammy pants. My favorite tiger pair ripped and they were very comfy. Good to know you're !

Have an awesome day!

TC2009 (that's what the 150 Club calls me)

 

[Jane E.]

Loved reading your journal. You must be looking forward to your trip in September. Setting Disney goals always helps me to stay on program. Somehow journaling helps me to stay on track too. As soon as I get in my exercise or lose a pound I want to report it. It also helps me to be careful with what I eat. I used to be the binge queen but keeping an online journal has helped me to curtail that. Somehow I feel if I don't write it down or keep track the calories don't count. By keeping myself accountable I've curtailed my candy habit. Congrats on joining Wish!

 

[Storygirl]

7-13-05

Good morning!

Today, eatingwise, has been good - lc yogurt with lc granola and a diet coke. I'm now finishing up my dc and then moving on to water.

***WARNING - The following paragraph is one big whine about how much today sucks and why...please skip if you would like***

Today I am remembering why I hate coming to work. This may have nothing to do with what I eat and exercise/WISH journalling, but when I feel like this it usually leads to doughnuts (Krispy Kreme cream filled chocolate covered ones...yum...) and ice cream and fritos and taco dip and then? Purging. So I am venting this out to the world wide web and hoping once I fling it into space, it will be gone and I won't be visiting the bathroom for bad reasons. I hate coming here because I have a semi toxic boss (STB) - one who is not bad enough to be unethical and give me ulcers, but is bad enough to make me unhappy here. She expects perfection and - oh yeah - me to read her mind and oddly enough I can provide neither. And then she gets so critical that I do forget details and things because I get so twisted up in trying to make everything perfect. This really stinks because I just lost one member of my team (6-1-05) to pursue a new career and although the other employee is worth her weight in gold, she was gone last month for a week for her daughter's wedding, last week for a few days for her husband's minor surgery, and this week she was selected for a trial on jury duty and won't be back until tomorrow. So here I am, new projects coming in all the time, a lightning rod for upset customers (I manage customer service for a call center) and no time to do any of it and I have to do it all. STB hasn't let me replace my lost employee yet because she has decided maybe we're going in a different direction and could I submit in writing my plan? Which I've done several times and it's never been "really what I wanted"...so I ask what she wants and get gumblegobblegook and I clarify, try again, and it's "not really what I wanted"...Oh and then I have a coworker who also likes to point out my flaws to STB and also to me... And of course I had an email to that effect waiting for me this morning. Is it any wonder I weigh so much??

So my plan for today? Drink lots of water, go to lunch with my VBF (very best friend, not boyfriend ) to this place that has a to die for lc salad, drink more water, walk 20 minutes on the tread when I get home, and just do the best I can today at work - knowing that DH and DS are my real priorities. Oh and that we'll be in WDW in 68 days.

And I may fantasize just a tiny bit about maybe being inflicted with Max's strep and going in her office and licking her tea cup...

Breathe...breathe....breathe....breathe....it WILL be a good day!

Hope you are all having beautiful Wednesdays!!!!

Had lunch with my VBF and we both realized our STB's are both gone next Monday - YAYYY!!!

Had a shrimp antipasto salad and a diet coke with lime. The salad is heaven...romaine lettuce, tomato, black olive, red onion, feta, provolone, salami, shrimp, vinaigrette...I get it without croutons and light on the tomatoes and onion and it is just wonderful! I have a snack bar here that I might have.

Stopped at the gas station on the way to lunch and they had LC protein bars on clearance for 62 cents. Bought a bunch to keep on hand.

My day looked up - STB was still a PIA, but I had a ball at lunch and then had a meeting that involved a coworker who is really cute and makes me feel really cute too ... (DH thinks my harmless minicrush is hysterical). I wish I could bottle this guy up and bring him with me whenever I have my fat days...

Dinner tonight? Well, it's 97 degrees outside (gick) so I'll be walking inside and then making something that doesn't involved the oven. Maybe microwave or grill? Grill is always good for LC. Or a salad?

I'm so glad I vented - I have stuck with my water and food and I feel pretty good!

 

[Storygirl]

My day just looked up! I just remembered that STB is off next Monday and the the first two weeks of August and is leaving the country!!!!!

WOO HOO!

And then one month later I'll be at WDW...there is a light...I can see it...

 

[pearlieq]

Thank goodness you're getting rid of STB for a while. Hopefully that gets you through the day! It does sound like you've got a great plan for dealing with the stress of today.

I can't even see the title of your journal anymore without picturing either Jay-Z or Dr. Evil and Mini-Me! That's always fun first thing in the morning! I find myself wandering through the day humming "It's a Low Carb life, for us..."

Hopefully your day goes up from here!!!

 

[TigerCheer2009]

HI Jenn!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you for staying strong against the STB! You can do this Jenn! I'm very proud of you; for it is a little victory, which can keep you on track until the BIG victory comes! I write letters to each bad thing, like the Binge Monster and TOM. Write a "letter" but keep it on here to STB!

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...you got yours? If so, grab on, hold on and TAKE ME WITH YOU TO DISNEY!!!!!!! lol!

Have an awesome day!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Jenn,

You picked a great way to get your anger out. Rather than eating, you typed it. Way to go!

Your plan today sounds good. Have a fantasic time with your VBF!!!