Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[gwynne]

Imho... she was an actress that was basically an unknown and he was Royalty. He gave it all up for her and that’s his choice, he’ll live with that as will his children and their children. History stopped. They re ok with it, okay then.
However, they basically are able to live off the Royal connection by networking/contacts/money/power acknowledging that would go far. If they really wanted to live Free ....of press, royalty connections, etc we wouldn’t be hearing anything. Instead.. it’s always appears to be the “ look at me, attention grabbing, hear my story and believe me” saga that continues. another interview coming, no surprise there. PR work is powerful.
Wishing them a blessed family but have no interest in their/her need to be relevant.

Agree.
Now would be a great time for them to focus on living that quiet, private life they talked about.

 

[Karin1984]

What!!?? That is a ridiculous statement. What kind of father would publicly humiliate his daughter because she supposedly "treated him badly." I don't think that he was a stellar father to begin with. You seem to be seeing Meghan as some kind of villain here. She obviously had a strained relationship with her father's side of the family since being born, and that is not the fault of a child. They obviously disliked the very idea of her to begin with. She seemed to want to get along with her father and even invited him to the wedding. I don't care what she said or did not say to him. There is no excuse for a father to do that. I'm sorry if you believe otherwise. And Harry is a grown man and capable of making his own decisions. None of us live with them to know what is really going on. But everyone likes to dump on the "evil, manipulative woman". It's always the woman's fault. What does that say about the man then? You all are just pulling ridiculous theories out of your behinds to fit your narrative of what a horrible person Meghan "must" be. Please, you don't even know them.

Neither do you. To you Meghan cannot be blamed.

This is how Meghan comes across to me. This is how her actions and her words come across. I am a woman who was enstranged from her father for 7 years. I decided to not see or communicate with my father for that time and I can sympathize with her on that. I understand how hard it is to think of something like a wedding when you are in a broken family. That becomes even more complicated.

He was a loving father when she grew up, paid for her school and everything. There are plenty of pictures that show a good relationship growing up. That she didnt introduce Harry to her father in the two years leading up to the marriage, is not a sign that she was ready to make up and improve their relationship after whatever has happened. And I understand that, it took me 7 years and even then I was not ready.

There are two sides to every story and I do not think Meghan is the only one to blame. Both Harry and Thomas made mistakes as well. However, I do not think Harry is very capable of making his own decisions. He is not the sharpest tool in the toolbox, judging by his school records. This is the boy who thought a nazi uniform made a good Halloween costume, when he was old enough to know better. I think he does best when someone is guiding him, whether that is the structure of the army or his wife.
He does not come across as a strong personality. And that is okay, but that makes him less guilty to me. If Harry is to blame for one thing, is it for not preparing Meghan well for the life as a royal.

And I do believe there are children who do not take good care of their parents. There are plenty of cases where children keep their grandchildren from their parents. I am sure there are cases where that was a wise decision on the children's part, but also plenty of times where the children are to blame.

I do think it is a different in culture. European versus American that was the main problem and still is the main problem. In America they love the underdog and the victim. In Europe we are more 'stop talking and keep working'. When your actions are in line with your words we respect you a lot more than when you keep complaining and act different from what you preach. I am sure that if Harry and Meghan are more about show, dont tell, the British press gets better.

And about Kate (and Camilla), the British press was awful to her when she arrived. Both duchesses had really a lot of hate. Waity-Katie, they called her, because she didn't really work and kept waiting for William to propose. Both had to endure so much, but because they followed 'never complain' and worked hard, they are now in a much better position. Patience is something that paid off for both of them.
As I said, I do think Meghan could be brilliant as a princess, she only didnt have the patience.

 

[Lilsia]

Neither do you. To you Meghan cannot be blamed.

This is how Meghan comes across to me. This is how her actions and her words come across. I am a woman who was enstranged from her father for 7 years. I decided to not see or communicate with my father for that time and I can sympathize with her on that. I understand how hard it is to think of something like a wedding when you are in a broken family. That becomes even more complicated.

He was a loving father when she grew up, paid for her school and everything. There are plenty of pictures that show a good relationship growing up. That she didnt introduce Harry to her father in the two years leading up to the marriage, is not a sign that she was ready to make up and improve their relationship after whatever has happened. And I understand that, it took me 7 years and even then I was not ready.

There are two sides to every story and I do not think only one is to blame. Both Harry and Thomas made mistakes as well. However, I do not think Harry is very capable of making his own decisions. He is not the sharpest tool in the toolbox, judging by his school records. This is the boy who thought a nazi uniform made a good Halloween costume, when he was old enough to know better. I think he does best when someone is guiding him, whether that is the structure of the army or his wife.
He does not come across as a strong personality. And that is okay, but that makes him less guilty to me. If Harry is to blame for one thing, is it for not preparing Meghan well for the life as a royal.

And I do believe there are children who do not take good care of their parents. There are plenty of cases where children keep their grandchildren from their parents. I am sure there are cases where that was a wise decision on the children's part, but also plenty of times where the children are to blame.

I do think it is a different in culture. European versus American that was the main problem and still is the main problem. In America they love the underdog and the victim. In Europe we are more 'stop talking and keep working'. When your actions are in line with your words we respect you a lot more than when you keep complaining and act different from what you preach. I am sure that if Harry and Meghan are more about show, dont tell, the British press gets better.

And about Kate (and Camilla), the british press were awful to her when she arrived. Both duchesses had really a lot of hate. Waity-Katie, they called her, because she didn't really work and kept waiting for William to propose. Both had to endure so much, but because they followed 'never complain' and worked hard, they are now in a much better position. Patience is something that paid off for both of them.
As I said, I do think Meghan could be brilliant as a princess, she only didnt have the patience.

Even if all that you say is true, how does that make them such horrible people to deserve the treatment that they are getting? Are you perfect? Of course not, none of us are. What have they done that is so egregious to warrant this? Nobody would want to be constantly attacked and name called. It wears on a person. They are trying to distance themselves from it and I don't blame them. There are plenty of royals that still benefit from their birth but do not play a big part in the "working royal" part of it.

 

[PaulaSB12]

You either stay in the royal royal and perform your duties or you leave. Harry wants both he is upset because he has been stripped of his military titles and patronages but how can he perform his duties for either when he is too busy following Meghan like the idiot he is, and how much longer before he comes home to find she has gone and posted back his wedding rings like she did for the first husband after he fulfilled his role. I have seen in the news people liking her to Wallis Simpson but a better one would be Eva Peron this song always makes me think of meghan

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

I am not British, but I can't imagine that any person would think that having sex with a minor is "merely distasteful". Criminal more like it. It the British public wanted Harry to stay, they should have treated his wife better. That is what it comes down to. What real man would sit there and allow his wife to be treated in that horrible way? You all seem to think that she somehow deserved it because she dared to marry "up' so that made her some kind of social climber. Will's wife Kate married "up" but the British press did not hound and harass and lie about her. So why the hatred for Meghan? Is it the American, the actress, or the black part? Or a combination? None of us are perfect and I am sure none of us would want every little word or mistake that we made our entire lives to be brought back on us and be judged by it. I am ashamed at how so many of you are so nasty about her.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, therefore, although, if proven, an adult having sex with a 16 year old is a criminal offence in the US, it is not a criminal offence in the U.K.. Hence the reference to distasteful.
I don’t think that the remainder of your post is in response to anything that I have said.

 

[Skywalker]

I am not British, but I can't imagine that any person would think that having sex with a minor is "merely distasteful". Criminal more like it. It the British public wanted Harry to stay, they should have treated his wife better. That is what it comes down to. What real man would sit there and allow his wife to be treated in that horrible way? You all seem to think that she somehow deserved it because she dared to marry "up' so that made her some kind of social climber. Will's wife Kate married "up" but the British press did not hound and harass and lie about her. So why the hatred for Meghan? Is it the American, the actress, or the black part? Or a combination? None of us are perfect and I am sure none of us would want every little word or mistake that we made our entire lives to be brought back on us and be judged by it. I am ashamed at how so many of you are so nasty about her.

No offence but you don't seem to know a lot about it. Meghan was treated VERY well by the press and public when she first burst onto the scene. Much better than Camilla and probably even better than Kate. At first, they along with William and Kate were nicknamed "The Fab Four", people thought she was sparkly, gorgeous and talented, many people commented good for Harry for choosing what might be an unconventional choice for a British Royal.

It was only AFTER her personality starting showing - stories of loyal long-term employees getting the boot, or quitting in tears, friends of Harry's saying he doesn't talk to them anymore, Harry no longer participating on hobbies he used to enjoy, falling out with his own brother and best friend...then stories of how this is basically Meghan's whole life story, use them and then move on.

Her father was very good to her. Seems like his family was too. Her uncle got her some bigwig job in an ambassador's office or something and then he said she never spoke to him again. Similar story with lots of people starting coming forward and saying "yeah, she ghosted me when I could no longer be of use to her"...things like that.

Then when these stories started coming out yes, a critical eye started to be turned to her - to which they cried and bailed out of his job, his family and his country.

The reason people "blame" Meghan and not Harry, is that it seems to be a very typical M.O. of hers, not of Harry's. Poor dude.

The issue with Meghan is not that she is American, an actress or black. The problem appears to be that she is a cold, manipulative, self-promoting user.

 

[Karin1984]

Even if all that you say is true, how does that make them such horrible people to deserve the treatment that they are getting? Are you perfect? Of course not, none of us are. What have they done that is so egregious to warrant this? Nobody would want to be constantly attacked and name called. It wears on a person. They are trying to distance themselves from it and I don't blame them. There are plenty of royals that still benefit from their birth but do not play a big part in the "working royal" part of it.

Í am not saying she deserves it. I am explaining how things work on this side of the ocean.
It is terrible, but becoming part of the British royal family is not like joining any other royal family or a regular family, it comes with a very harsh hazing period that can take years to make sure you are up to it. You can wish it was all sunshine and roses, but it's not. That it is why Harry is very much to blame for not preparing Meghan for it, but then again, Meghan can also take part of the blame for not listening to her British friends who warned her. She said her American friends were all happy for her, her British friends warned her. That should have been a major red flag for her. She thought then the good outweighed the bad. She was loved by the public when she arrived, but then the press started to publish stories about her past, she thought the good (the love of the people and all the benefits) didn't outweigh the bad anymore and she wanted out.

To summarize, it comes to 3 things why they keep rubbing people the wrong way:
1: Say one thing, and do the other. Like saying you want privacy, and then go into high profile public events. That's being a hypocrite.
2: The preaching. The public thinks 'who do you think you are to tell us how we need to live our lives' (and for this also see #1)
3: How they do things. I am sure a more progressive role is possible in the British royal family, most European royal families have the roles Harry & Meghan want for their spares. I think if they took things slower and slowly carved out their new role, they could have ended up with what they wanted. Especially with the slimmed down family Prince Charles wants in the future, the half-in, half-out role was an option. Only not immediately. This is a traditional company, if you want to be successful in making a change, you need to know your audience. This audience was about patience and traditions.
When you read about change management, how to make changes in a company, very rarily is the advice: Just do what ever you want, ruffle all the feathers, and then you will get everyone with you.
Harry and Meghan are very much a product of the current time, instant gratification, 'I want something, I want it now'. Sometimes it pays off to take things slow and work on getting what you want (like Oprah Winfrey meeting Meghan once before the wedding and taking 3 years preparing for the interview ;-) )

With their method they pushed the Queen into a corner. The Queen cannot be a pushover. Which comes to a fourth reason: It's two young kids kicking against a 94 year old grandmother who did everything to give them everything they want. The Queen is the most loved member of the royal family who has been through a lot. The public doesn't like it when she is treated badly. If we talk about deserve, I do not think the Queen deserved this treatment.

But a good thing, the press and the public are not Fitzwilliam Darcy whose good opinion once lost is lost forever. I do believe if Harry and Meghan work on these three (four) things, the Brits can change their opinion and start to love them again. But it takes hard work and patience.

 

[neverlandsky]

I see both sides of it. No matter how you slice it, it's a life of privilege with or without titles/royal duties.

 

[gwynne]

Even if all that you say is true, how does that make them such horrible people to deserve the treatment that they are getting? Are you perfect? Of course not, none of us are. What have they done that is so egregious to warrant this? Nobody would want to be constantly attacked and name called. It wears on a person. They are trying to distance themselves from it and I don't blame them. There are plenty of royals that still benefit from their birth but do not play a big part in the "working royal" part of it.

People who are living quiet private lives and distancing themselves from controversy don't book a 90 minute Oprah interview.

 

[Cheburashka]

Meghan was treated VERY well by the press and public when she first burst onto the scene. Much better than Camilla and probably even better than Kate.

The people who complain about Meghan being disproportionately criticized by the British press have obviously never followed how the British press has treated other royals. They've all received a lot of criticism over the years, and several (particularly Diana & Sarah Ferguson) received much, much more harsh criticism and worse treatment than Meghan.

• Duchess Catherine (Kate): Waity Katie. Social climber. Lazy. Airhead.
• Duchess of York (Sarah Ferguson): Duchess of Pork. Fat Fergie. Vulgar. Common. Greedy. Promiscuous. "Behead her."
• Princess of Wales (Diana): Dumb. Mentally ill. Manipulative. Ruining the monarchy. Promiscuous. Media published intimate & compromising "Squidgygate" telephone call. Stalked by the media 24/7 until the day she died while fleeing the paparazzi.
• Prince Charles: Cold. Unfaithful. Ruined Diana's life for selfish reasons. Media published intimate and embarrassing "Camillagate" telephone call.
• Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla): The other woman. Homewrecker. Ugly. Selfish.
• Prince Philip: Aloof. Promiscuous & unfaithful. Rude.
• Queen Elizabeth: Cold. Uncaring. Out of touch. Bad mother.

The British media's attitude is, "if you can't take the heat, get out of the castle." You don't have to like that, but if you're going to be a royal, you have to put up with it. You have the right to leave if you can't stand it, but don't expect to take your royal titles, your royal patronages & your place in the succession with you. And don't blame it on racism.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Not only Catherine the press attacked her parents her brother and her sister.

 

[Karin1984]

The people who complain about Meghan being disproportionately criticized by the British press have obviously never followed how the British press has treated other royals. They've all received a lot of criticism, and several (particularly Diana & Sarah Ferguson) received much, much more harsh criticism and worse treatment than Meghan.

Duchess Catherine (Kate): Waity Katie. Social climber. Lazy. Airhead.

Duchess of York (Sarah Ferguson): Duchess of Pork. Fat Fergie. Vulgar. Common. Greedy. Promiscuous. "Behead her."

Princess of Wales (Diana): Mentally ill. Manipulative. Ruining the monarchy. Promiscuous. Media published intimate "Squidgygate" telephone call. Stalked by the media 24/7 until the day she died while fleeing the paparazzi.

Prince Charles: Cold. Unfaithful. Ruined Diana's life for selfish reasons. Media published intimate and embarrassing "Camillagate" telephone call.

Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla): The other woman. Homewrecker. Ugly. Selfish.

Prince Philip: Aloof. Promiscuous & unfaithful. Rude.

Queen Elizabeth: Cold. Uncaring. Out of touch. Bad mother.

I forgot about Camillagate! Very proper of you to use that name for it ;-) Yeah, that was bad.
Camilla still gets a lot of flack, she will never be fully forgiven, but I do think it's more balanced and she does get some good press as well for her hard work for elderly people. And I do think the press likes that you can see that she and Charles love each other. Whenever they post the picture for their anniversary or their Christmas card, it is usually well received.

 

[Karin1984]

*double post*

 

[Lilsia]

You either stay in the royal royal and perform your duties or you leave. Harry wants both he is upset because he has been stripped of his military titles and patronages but how can he perform his duties for either when he is too busy following Meghan like the idiot he is, and how much longer before he comes home to find she has gone and posted back his wedding rings like she did for the first husband after he fulfilled his role. I have seen in the news people liking her to Wallis Simpson but a better one would be Eva Peron this song always makes me think of meghan

Neither Princess Eugenie nor her sister Princess Beatrice perform Royal duties in the Queen's name. They have both their titles and all benefits that come with being born Royal, but do not perform the duties that you seem to think Harry needs to do. They benefit from their birth and do nothing for it. Why is it OK for them and not Harry? You don't get to choose whether you are born Royal or not, that will never go away. There are plenty of Royals to perform whatever duties that are needed. If Harry wants to step back and raise his family how he chooses, who are you to judge him for that?

 

[Karin1984]

You either stay in the royal royal and perform your duties or you leave. Harry wants both he is upset because he has been stripped of his military titles and patronages but how can he perform his duties for either when he is too busy following Meghan like the idiot he is, and how much longer before he comes home to find she has gone and posted back his wedding rings like she did for the first husband after he fulfilled his role. I have seen in the news people liking her to Wallis Simpson but a better one would be Eva Peron this song always makes me think of meghan

I also think of Meghan when I listen to Evita. Not only 'Good night and Thank You', but also 'I'd be surprisingly good for you' (I think they would be acting like this on their first dates), 'Hello and Goodbye' (thinking of Harry's friends, family and hobbies) 'Rainbow High' (Meghan's wardrobe budget in the first year), and most of the other songs.

If you are in to musical theatre, listening to the newly written songs for the musical of the Prince of Egypt, thinking of William in the role of Rameses and Harry in the role of Mozes, and their duets... whole new meaning!

 

[Lilsia]

Not only Catherine the press attacked her parents her brother and her sister.

This makes me so sad that the British press acts this way. You would think printing slanderous material should be illegal. Do they have no morality?

 

[Cheburashka]

This makes me so sad that the British press acts this way. You would think printing slanderous material should be illegal. Do they have no morality?

Who says it's slander? Slander (outright lying) is illegal. But stating an unfavorable opinion is not illegal. Criticism is not illegal. Do you really think the royals should be considered above criticism, as if they were holy?

 

[ford family]

This makes me so sad that the British press acts this way. You would think printing slanderous material should be illegal. Do they have no morality?

Weren't you the one repeating unsubstantiated accusations about Prince Andrew?

ford family

 

[Lilsia]

Weren't you the one repeating unsubstantiated accusations about Prince Andrew?

ford family

Uh, no.

 

[ronandannette]

Prince Harry and Meghan are no longer senior royals and many U.K. citizens are relieved that the burden of them has been passed elsewhere. The British public is fickle. People admired the Princess of Wales even though her moral conduct was often questionable, people have almost forgiven Prince Charles but oddly not the Duchess of Cambridge. The public protested the Queen’s conduct when the Princess of Wales died, and then forgave her. I don’t think that they will be as forgiving to the Sussexes if Prince Philip dies amidst this chaos. Maybe, one day, they will enter the US political arena .... very much a US burden now and not a British one.

Initially the burden was Canada's when (very much) uninvited, Megan decided to take refuge in Vancouver. Due to our position in the Commonwealth, Canadian tax payers were obligated to foot the bill for extensive security to protect her from safety threats and media harassment that never materialized. We don't really do that here in Canada - no paparazzi to speak of and not a high degree of interest in what our celebrities or politicians do in their off-time. Living in peaceful obscurity as they could have done here really wasn't the goal now was it. Oh well, all the better for us because I for one did not feel their "keep" was public money well spent.

What if.... Harry is still sixth in line to the throne. What if (God forbid) he became King (or even Regent) and Meghan became President of the US? Maybe that is the plan!

Sounds like an excellent storyline for a Disney rom-com movie!

You either stay in the royal royal and perform your duties or you leave. Harry wants both he is upset because he has been stripped of his military titles and patronages but how can he perform his duties for either when he is too busy following Meghan like the idiot he is, and how much longer before he comes home to find she has gone and posted back his wedding rings like she did for the first husband after he fulfilled his role. I have seen in the news people liking her to Wallis Simpson but a better one would be Eva Peron this song always makes me think of meghan

Would a more apt comparison not be Harry and King Edward VIII? From much of the historical material it seems he was the one that wanted it all - to abdicate the throne in order to pursue marriage but to retain all his privilege, status, wealth and the love of his subjects. Was it not him that was shocked and dismayed at the exile, obscurity and isolation from "The Firm" and the family that resulted? Perhaps Mrs. Simpson wanted and expected more but most certainly the decisions were David's, just like in this current case the decisions regarding his position have been Harry's. Lots of men do stupid things for love but let's not forget it is the men that do them.