Gene Hackman, wife and dog found dead

[HopperFan]

I don't think cost was an issue-his net worth has been estimated at $80 million. it's been reported that for decades they were very private people who socialized on a very limited basis. she was apparantly healthy up until the exposure that took her life and likely felt no need to bring in outside help. her own mother has dementia and a live in caretaker so she may have seen the pros/cons to different arrangements.

Sadly that makes the situation even worse.

 

[Imzadi]

So, they didn’t have any children or younger relatives checking in on them? This shows that the idea of pressuring women to have children or get married to avoid dying alone isn’t always true—you can be married and still pass away without anyone knowing for days or even weeks.

Several days ago, a couple of my coworkers said they saw a news article which said, when questioned by the police to get a timeline, one of the daughters said she hadn't talked to Gene in about 3 months. The daughter also said she would not be going to the Hackmans' home afterward to follow the investigation. My co-workers were, of course astounded that any child could be like that with their parents.

However, in this case, when Gene married his wife Betsy, she was the same age as the oldest child at 31. That may have caused one kind of a rift. Second, having Alzheimer's and not remembering the children, especially as adults, may have caused a second rift. Third, at 95, with no foul play involved, it would only be a matter of time to find out something to do with Gene's age killed him. Also, the Hackmans retired to NM, while the children could be across the country. They are all around 60 now, possibly with their own families looking in on them.

 

[Imzadi]

He had children but there doesn't seem to be photographs of them in many years. It was stated that his work kept him away so much that relationships were difficult.


It seems strange that it seemed no one "knew" for sure he had this other than some observation from photos. Sounds like she very much kept him away from public eye and possibly his kids as well??

But yes ... there is little to no help if you can't afford it. There is that heart felt obligation that a spouse must become a caretaker no matter how hard. While I imagine they could afford it we don't know how their financial structure was set up, did they have enough without liquidating?


That surprised me. The house looks huge, I assume he has some money in the bank and why didn't they have weekly home health checks, why didn't they have housekeeper? Sounds like maintenance might have been a community one, not personal. MY gut is she had isolated him so much that perhaps it became a total protection mechanism keeping others from the home. Perhaps she feared his kids would want to step in and take him from her? Never know what is going on behind closed doors.

It could be she didn't hire help as she knew HE wouldn't want to be seen with Alzheimer's. Reportedly, Nancy Reagan took on the primary care for her husband as she knew he wouldn't want people seeing him that way. It was a long and lonely burden for her.

Also, people with Alzheimer's get very agitated and angry and possibly sometimes violent, as the disease progresses. It could be every time he saw a housekeeper whom he couldn't remember in the home, it took longer and longer to calm him back down that Betsy took on the role.

 

[georgina]

Very sad situation. This has sparked a conversation in our house. DH is 8 years older so I assume he would be the one to decline (might not be the case!) But we will absolutely be going into assisted living with continuing care facilities when we reach that point.

I have a friend whose husband chose the facility he wanted to eventually go into when he first developed Alzheimers and could do the research.

 

[Imzadi]

The police have also said they haven't gotten phone records from the phone companies, so they can see who and when the Hackman's last spoke to someone.

I wonder if Gene did call for help. But with his Alzheimer's, he dialed "0" for the operator instead of 911. And he never got through to a live person as I don't think that system even works anymore. OR, if he did talk to someone, he didn't remember where he lived and they couldn't do trace him, the way 911 systems are set up to do now in most places. He may have even said he lives in Los Angeles as that's what he remembered.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Also, people with Alzheimer's get very agitated and angry and possibly sometimes violent, as the disease progresses. It could be every time he saw a housekeeper whom he couldn't remember in the home, it took longer and longer to calm him back down that Betsy took on the role.

This is not always true. My mother developed and subsequently died from Alzheimer’s. You’d never meet a more gentle person in your life. She never got angry or combative, as some medication commercials would have you think.

My mother was as gentle and lovely all through the end as she was all of her life, previous.

I do, of course, realize that many people do become angry and/or combative when they develop dementia and/or Alzheimer’s.

EDITED: Because the words “pervious” and “previous” are not the same thing!

 

[Marrila]

This is not always true. My mother developed and subsequently died from Alzheimer’s. You’d never meet a more gentle person in your life. She never got angry or combative, as some medication commercials would have you think.

My mother was as gentle and lovely all through the end as she was all of her life, pervious.

I do, of course, realize that many people do become angry and/or combative when they develop dementia and/or Alzheimer’s.

I think you and your mother were very fortunate she didn't suffer some of the worst symptoms of Alzheimer's. She was blessed she didn't need special meds as she walked the Alzheimer's path.
It's beyond painful for those who experience dementia, confusion and anger with their loved one. It's good there are meds for those who deal with the most difficult symptoms.

 

[Imzadi]

This is not always true. My mother developed and subsequently died from Alzheimer’s. You’d never meet a more gentle person in your life. She never got angry or combative, as some medication commercials would have you think.

My mother was as gentle and lovely all through the end as she was all of her life, pervious.

That's actually great to know.

 

[HopperFan]

This is not always true. My mother developed and subsequently died from Alzheimer’s. You’d never meet a more gentle person in your life. She never got angry or combative, as some medication commercials would have you think.

My mother was as gentle and lovely all through the end as she was all of her life, pervious.

I do, of course, realize that many people do become angry and/or combative when they develop dementia and/or Alzheimer’s.

Same with my MIL. Moments of confusion and slight agitation but never angry or combative. Same with some other family members, no anger. I think people with Alzheimer's can be all kinds of different behaviors, not one shoe fits all.

 

[sailorstitch]

This explains why the dog was in the crate.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/mask-cane-frantic-dog-inside-091002111.html

 

[VandVsmama]

According to this article, Gene Hackman had a will drawn up in 2005 which left all of his assets to his wife. No mention of his children in the will.

That's a grade A butthole move right there. Used to think he was a pretty solid stand up guy. Now? Not so much.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment...odycam-footage-autopsy-reports-200650377.html

 

[starry_solo]

According to this article, Gene Hackman had a will drawn up in 2005 which left all of his assets to his wife. No mention of his children in the will.

That's a grade A butthole move right there. Used to think he was a pretty solid stand up guy. Now? Not so much.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment...odycam-footage-autopsy-reports-200650377.html

Well, there has to be a reason.

Like why did it take 2 weeks for someone to sound the alarm? Why didn't the kids say something before 2 weeks had passed about not having heard from their dad?

 

[kyton]

That's a grade A butthole move right there. Used to think he was a pretty solid stand up guy. Now? Not so much.

His wife was 20yrs younger then him so he obviously considered that she may outlive him and wanted to ensure she was taken care of.

We as stickybeaking public don’t know the ins and outs of his relationship with his adult children. He may have been estranged from them - it certainly doesn’t seem that they cared so much that they were contacting him / flying out to see if he was ok after not being able to reach anyone. He may have already given them large amounts of money when they were younger - you don’t know.

No judgement here from me.

 

[mom2rtk]

According to this article, Gene Hackman had a will drawn up in 2005 which left all of his assets to his wife. No mention of his children in the will.

That's a grade A butthole move right there. Used to think he was a pretty solid stand up guy. Now? Not so much.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment...odycam-footage-autopsy-reports-200650377.html

Except we have absolutely no idea what led up to that. Maybe they have gambling issues. Maybe addiction problems. Maybe they were greedy and demanded too much.

I do feel like if she cared for him in the home through his late stage Alzheimers, she likely earned anything she would have gotten if things hadn't ended like this.

 

[HopperFan]

Wasn't going to say this earlier even though I thought it ...

~ She was 30 years younger than him so leaving her with the finances to live on was likely a priority.
~ It has been stated that over time he has less and less engagement with his children.
~ YEARS ago he stated his always on the road stressed his relationships but nothing awful.
~ They were married 34 years we have no idea if she encouraged/caused more estrangement.
~ They did wills in 1995, again she is 30 years younger but it also stated there was also a trust of some kind.
~ If there was some estrangement OR she prevented them from speaking with him over time it might explain if they talked in frequently.
~ I know we see published net worth but as we saw with the fires some of those net worth is tied up in real estate and other less liquid. While I'm sure they could live well, maybe she wanted to make sure it lasted her lifetime.
~ As I said before perhaps she kept him away from the children and others so they wouldn't know the full scope of his illness.
~ The cost for him to have full time care at a level they found acceptable would be costly. Depending on how much they actually did have, and how young she was ~ perhaps she didn't want to spend that on him.

It seems easy enough to blame his, also older, children for not checking on him etc BUT I tend to look more at her, what were the dynamics, why when she could afford it did Gene not get help and support. In one article they spoke of when she was last seen, in town shopping, who was with him? Did she leave him alone???? Sounds like they have found no one that interacted with them other than the maintenance guy who was to do a project and she stopped responding. I would not be quick to blame his kids. There is simply too much we don't know about his wife and how she maintained this hermit life for him.

 

[VandVsmama]

Well, leaving your kids out of your will entirely is certainly a way to make a loud statement. I still think it's a lousy thing to do. I don't care what his reasons were. He should have left some money to his kids.

 

[Marrila]

Well, leaving your kids out of your will entirely is certainly a way to make a loud statement. I still think it's a lousy thing to do. I don't care what his reasons were. He should have left some money to his kids.

It sounds like leaving the kids cash is important to you. That's fine.
It's not a one size fits all for every family, particularly when one of the parents has a serious long illness.

 

[barkley]

i'm rather surprised that the wife apparantly had no provision in her estate planning for her mother. no idea what the mother's financial situation is but she apparently has dementia and receives 24/7 care in her home. it's reported neither have any living family members. the wife had a provision in her estate planning that ensured if gene passed within 90 days of her (not uncommon for someone in his health) it cancelled out him/his estate from inheriting from hers so she had a good will/trusts attorney that knew how to exclude his side of the family, just surprising that her mom seems excluded as well.

 

[mylilnikita]

According to this article, Gene Hackman had a will drawn up in 2005 which left all of his assets to his wife. No mention of his children in the will.

That's a grade A butthole move right there. Used to think he was a pretty solid stand up guy. Now? Not so much.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/gene-hackman-and-betsy-arakawas-wills-are-filed-as-estate-seeks-to-block-

Grown children aren’t “owed” anything in regards to when a parent dies. That is an American culture thing.
Pay for for your kids to get a first car or given them one and you get a new one.
Pay for extracurricular stuff for school or after school
Pay for dances
Pay for college
Pay for wedding and or help with honeymoon.
His kids are way grown. If he died when they were young then yes it would be helpful if they were financially taken care of.
He made that money so he got to choose where it went.