DS at basics...need advice

[mselly13]

My son is at basics at Ft. Leonard Wood.
He shipped Sept. 3 but actually started training on the 12th.

He did call home on the 14th and sounded okay but not as happy as previous calls. But he also mailed a letter on the 13th saying how he hates it, wants out, blah blah blah.

I knew to expect this letter but my question to y'all is do I address these concerns in my letters to him or do I ignore them and hope by the time he gets a letter from me things are going better?

I got his address yesterday and mailed out three letters today that I had already written. Do I just continue to stay postive and say postive things or do I talk about how depressed he is?
thanx for any advice

 

[powellrj]

My DS was at Ft Leonard Wood for basic and finished his last year in the army there. Just keep writing positive things to him and don't mention how much he hates it. He will pretty much hate it the whole time he is there.

I wrote DS everyday he is there and when he was in Iraq and what I would do would be tell him local and family gossip. I didn't want to make him feel bad by talking about the stuff we were doing at home without him so I tried to keep things light without the drama.

The time will go pretty fast because they keep them really busy and tired most of the time.

 

[dbarker]

Keep your letters positive and upbeat.

I know he is in the Army, but MarineParents.com has some wonderful advise about boot camp and military life. Go visit them for some good info.

BTW, Boot Camp / Basic Training is supposed to be HARD. They are supposed to "hate" it. It is a normal reaction.

Keep the letters flowing, even when he doesn't write (he might be too busy). Mail call is something they look forward to each day.

 

[live4christp1]

Keep the letters headed that way. DH (just did BCT at Fort Knox last Aug) said that mail call was like Christmas. They don't get to make lots of calls and they don't have much time to write but they love to get the letters from home. The first few weeks are red phase (this is the worst) once they make it through that it will still be tough but not as bad. BCT should be about 9 weeks. Once they get through BCT the rest is easier. At AIT they have and can earn more priveledges. Still have to put up with a lot of stupid stuff but it gets better. What DH hated was even if you as an individual are squared away and you try to help motivate your platoon to be squared away, one person who doesn't give a rip can get everyone more grief.

 

[PatsGirl]

I think I'd just send lots of upbeat letters and not mention his wanting to get quit. Like another PP said, it's supposed to be hard and for whatever reason, it's harder on some than others. He'll do okay and be all the better for it in the end.

 

[jsmith]

This is the norm-its the drill sergeants job to break them down and then build them back up-and its VERY normal for them to hate it at first. Just keep sending him positive thoughts-let him know he will get thru this and be glad in the end that he did.

 

[claytonj20]

I have been in the Army for 15 years, 2 of those as a Drill Sergeant. Its a natural reaction to hate it and the first part can be pretty tough, and boring with a lot of admin stuff. Things will get better as he bonds with his battle buddies and they begin to work as a team, even as things get harder.

My advice is this. Send him letters about whats going on at home, be positive so he can stay positive. Let him know all about what everyone is doing, small details about mom/dad/brother/sisters schedules and activities let you slip away and back into home for a bit even if only in your mind.

When the phone priveleges come, stay positive and supportive. Understand his phone time may be limited and he cant do anything about that so help him by staying positive and using the little bit of time to talk about positive things he is doing or that are going on at home. And above all, reinforce the fact he only has a few weeks left...that goes by pretty quickly.

 

[mselly13]

Just an update. He's just over a month into it with just under a month to go. He graduates November 13. He is doing great. Of course he has his good days and bad but on the whole he loves it. He loved the gas chamber. He shot expert in rifle, is one of 4 getting a special award plague at graduation. He does call home as often as possible. But overall doing very well. I haven't been able to write as much in the last 2 weeks as I was out of town, my grandmother was in the hospital and has since passed away. We gave him as little details as possible but he was very understanding. Thankfully, we had discussed this before he left that if something were to happen to her, he wanted to know but did not want to be there. He felt a little bad that he couldn't be there for my mom, but he understood where his priorities should and were. He has other friends writing to him, that took up some of the slack while I was gone.
That first letter home was heart breaking as a mom to receive but we both got past it.
I guess if I were to give advice to anyone going into this. Part of what I would say is discuss ahead of time, what family members you would want to be contacted about if something were to happen. This helped us tremondously. He and I had discussed this. We both knew my grandmother was getting up there in age. I knew what his wishes were concerning her death. That made things so much easier. I wasn't left second guessing myself on whether he should be contacted or not, should he take leave or not, that sort of thing. I knew what his wishes were.
But anyway, he is doing great and loving almost every minute of it. Thank you all for your support.
A proud military mom!

 

[PatsGirl]

I'm glad to hear that he came through it okay and with expertise in rifle shooting as well. That is great! Hopefully, it will get easier for both of you now. Brenda