Did anyone else "Pass the torch" this Christmas.

[Simba's Mom]

What I mean is, did anyone pass on to the next generation the hosting of Christmas. It happened in our house (well, actually in DS's house!). When I was very little, we had Christmas dinner at my grandparents' house. A few years later, due to both me and my grandparents getting older (me wanting to stay home with my new toys and grandparents not wanting all the work anymore) we had Christmas dinner at my parents'. FF several years, I got married, had children who wanted to stay home with their toys, and we hosted Christmas dinner at our house. This year DS was married with a new home, his own children who wanted to stay home with their new toys and their own Christmas tree, so we "passed the torch to them". So now they have Christmas dinner. No cousins, aunts and uncles in our family, no siblings (only child here) so it's like things have gone straight down the line. Anyone else? It's a little strange, but the time of new traditions for us.

 

[powellrj]

We did too. My ds and ddil hosted this year. Their house is better suited to entertaining so it made it much easier to have it there! It was very different, but not in a bad way.

 

[superme80]

My MIL did. DH's nephew took over. His girlfriend was thrilled to host everyone.

 

[Swimnoid]

Sort of....

DD got married this fall and also moved back home after being in Boston for 4 years. So we often did not see them on holidays.

This year she hosted Thanksgiving for both sets of parents plus DSIL's aunt and uncle and grandfather. Everybody brought stuff. We really like SIL's family so it was great.

For Christmas DD & DSIL are on their honeymoon in Cozumel so we have not actually had Christmas yet. They did host all of us again before Christmas with an Italian feast though which was great.

I think she is stuck with it now!

 

[lauradis]

What I mean is, did anyone pass on to the next generation the hosting of Christmas. It happened in our house (well, actually in DS's house!). When I was very little, we had Christmas dinner at my grandparents' house. A few years later, due to both me and my grandparents getting older (me wanting to stay home with my new toys and grandparents not wanting all the work anymore) we had Christmas dinner at my parents'. FF several years, I got married, had children who wanted to stay home with their toys, and we hosted Christmas dinner at our house. This year DS was married with a new home, his own children who wanted to stay home with their new toys and their own Christmas tree, so we "passed the torch to them". So now they have Christmas dinner. No cousins, aunts and uncles in our family, no siblings (only child here) so it's like things have gone straight down the line. Anyone else? It's a little strange, but the time of new traditions for us.

This is very nice of you.

I had to take it over by force from MIL

 

[Wendy31]

Growing up, my family spent Christmas Eve going to both sets of grandparents' houses, & Christmas Day was spent at our house. My mom would cook & invite both sets of grandparents to join us for dinner.

So that's the way it's evolved for us as well. We still spend Christmas Eve going to DH's parents' house & to my parents' house - sometimes due to various work or travel schedules, we may do one house on a different day, but the concept is the same.

On Christmas Day, we stay home, DH & I cook, & we invite our parents (both sets of our kids' grandparents) to join us.

On DH's side, Thanksgiving, for the past 2 years, has been hosted at his brother's & sister-in-law's house - so I think his mom has fully passed down the torch for Thanksgiving, even though, right now, she's still trying to host Christmas Eve at her house.

On my side, my mom is still hosting Thanksgiving, but I hope to change that next year & have Thanksgiving at our house, but still have Christmas Eve at her house & then Christmas Day at our house.

We'll see how that goes though...

 

[bigbabyblues]

We host my parents and grandpa on Christmas Eve. It has been this way since the second year we were married, and it works well that way.

Nobody ever told my husband's family they are supposed to pass the torch!

We (4 of us, MIL, FIL, sometimes grandma, and SIL and her huband if they are in town) start out at our house on Christmas morning early (8:00-ish).

Around 10 or 10:30, they all move on to DH's aunt's house (MIL's sister) for a big breakfast and gifts, and add in aunt's three kids, their spouses/SO, and DH's other two siblings and spouses, assorted family friends, and whomever else wants to come. The four of us get there a little later so our kids can enjoy their new things. After a few hours there, we move on to MIL's house for cookies, coffee, more gifts, playing with some of the new toys, football, just hanging out. Late afternoon/early evening, we move on to grandma's house for a final round of gifts, dinner, more friends, extended family, etc. Since a few of us have kids now, and some have little kids, some come and go throughout the day. DH's aunt, MIL, and grandma all live next to each other, thank goodness.

I was sick on Christmas this year, and DH had to work. FIL picked up our kids so they didn't mis out, and the didn't get back home until almost 11:00 p.m.

 

[SLP958]

We host my parents and grandpa on Christmas Eve. It has been this way since the second year we were married, and it works well that way.

Nobody ever told my husband's family they are supposed to pass the torch!

We (4 of us, MIL, FIL, sometimes grandma, and SIL and her huband if they are in town) start out at our house on Christmas morning early (8:00-ish).

Around 10 or 10:30, they all move on to DH's aunt's house (MIL's sister) for a big breakfast and gifts, and add in aunt's three kids, their spouses/SO, and DH's other two siblings and spouses, assorted family friends, and whomever else wants to come. The four of us get there a little later so our kids can enjoy their new things. After a few hours there, we move on to MIL's house for cookies, coffee, more gifts, playing with some of the new toys, football, just hanging out. Late afternoon/early evening, we move on to grandma's house for a final round of gifts, dinner, more friends, extended family, etc. Since a few of us have kids now, and some have little kids, some come and go throughout the day. DH's aunt, MIL, and grandma all live next to each other, thank goodness.

I was sick on Christmas this year, and DH had to work. FIL picked up our kids so they didn't mis out, and the didn't get back home until almost 11:00 p.m.

That sounds absolutely exhausting.

MIL allowed the torch to be passed to us this year. Finally.

The last few years at their house have been pretty sad and depressing but she just wouldn't let it go. Wouldn't even allow us to bring the food to her house.

This year MIL, FIL and BIL came to our house and it was a much happier occasion. They were very complimentary of the food which was not from the Winn Dixie Deli as per the last 3 years.

Hope this is our new tradition with them.

 

[suzimar57]

after nearly 20 years of "hosting" all the holidays (with no one to "pass the torch" to) this year i not only "blew out" the torch, i also "doused it with water" just to make sure i am never again the "host" for any future family holiday

yeah, just a little bitter here....

it will happen when you've been the only host for 19 years of family dinners to a bunch of non-reciprocating ingrates.

you know? i feel much better now.....

starting this year, we went out to eat for christmas.

and will continue eating out for now on.

2015 is looking better already!!!

 

[OhMari]

I tried grabbing the torch. We had Christmas on the 14 th, since all my adult kids were home for a family wedding on the 13th. I invited my parents and inlaws too. But 2 days before Christmas my MIL calls and she still wants Christmas Eve. We had to wait for them till they got home from church. My dh had to go with his dad to take the retired priest home to his retirement home and they were gone almost 2 hours. The priest invited them in for Manhattans. My dh didn't drink since he had to drive. My FIL was plastered and he went straight to bed when he got back. We finally ate supper at 8. My sister- in- law and her family left before we did, since we helped clean up. We were home by 9.
I agree with my son, next Christmas we are going somewhere tropical and warm.

 

[thebutlerdidit]

I passed the torch to my son and daughter in law after 27 years! I felt a little bad because my daughter in law is pregnant with # 3, due in 5 weeks. But my daughter moved back home in August and filled the room we have Christmas in so. We all helped and brought stuff for meals so not much stress there. I tell you though my 6 y/o granddaughter was thrilled not to have to leave the house! We had a wonderful day!

 

[Simba's Mom]

after nearly 20 years of "hosting" all the holidays (with no one to "pass the torch" to) this year i not only "blew out" the torch, i also "doused it with water" just to make sure i am never again the "host" for any future family holiday

yeah, just a little bitter here....

it will happen when you've been the only host for 19 years of family dinners to a bunch of non-reciprocating ingrates.

you know? i feel much better now.....

starting this year, we went out to eat for christmas.

and will continue eating out for now on.

2015 is looking better already!!!

Good for you! Unfortunately your situation isn't unique. DH and I go to Thanksgiving every Thanksgiving and almost always meet at least one couple who's always hosted Thanksgiving dinner, no help or reciprocation offered, so finally they just announced "We'll be at Hilton Head this year. Have fun without us!" They neither know, nor really care, how everyone else is managing without their work.

 

[rascalmom]

Sort of. My torch was broken (I fell and dislocated my elbow, fractured my arm & a few other unpleasantries) a few days before Thanksgiving. Both my daughters (early 20s) are living at home right now while they finish up degrees and they stepped up and did all the cooking. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas were at my house, just with different torchbearers.

 

[tvguy]

No torch passing here, at least yet. All 32 Christmases since DW and I got married have been at our house. Neutral territory I guess for my in-laws and my mom. And when our kids were born it was just easier. Grandparents have all passed away now, so DW and I ARE the older generation. DS was here for Christmas. His Fiancee grew up in the same type household, so she traveled 400 miles home to have Christmas with her family. DS traveled the day after Christmas to his Fiancees parents house for another Christmas, and both will be here Tuesday for another Christmas.

 

[minniecarousel]

I wish!

I have 7 siblings, 6 live here in the Bay Area. DH & I have been hosting for at least 32 years. Our sons always liked staying home on Christmas. There were a total of 31 of us on Christmas Day. Everyone brings food & Thanksgiving is a sit-down meal and they each know which side dish to bring.

We are centrally located. If anyone else hosted, the people up north would have a very long drive and vice/versa.

Even with everyone bringing food, it's still a lot of work!

 

[MIGrandma]

I haven't "passed the torch"...yet. But I'm seriously thinking about it!

I'm 57 and we've hosted Christmas at our house for the past 30+ years. My parents' place was too small, and when our kids were little it was nice not having to get out and travel on Christmas Day and having them leave their new toys, etc. so it was just easier to host it.

But. Our kids are both married with homes of their own and I'm thinking it's time they take their turn.

Our DS has hosted Thanksgiving a couple times and they have a large enough house to host Christmas. He did have Christmas at his house one year, several years ago, when he was living with someone. It was her idea, and I definitely appreciated not having to host it that year, but that only happened one time.

DD has the excuse that their house "isn't big enough" but that's funny because they have our side of the family AND her DH's side of the family for every one of their kids' birthdays and it works out just fine.

I know our oldest granddaughter loves coming here for Christmas, and she would probably be the one most disappointed if we "passed the torch" but it's going to happen one of these years. Like I said, I'm 57 and I'm thinking another 5 years, when I'm 62 and eligible for retirement, I'm going to say "I'm done!"

 

[Happy Snowman]

Only our oldest has a place so far so he could "host" it, but he doesn't really cook and is single so that probably won't work LOL. If we had it at his place, I'd probably still do all the cooking and cleaning so I might as well still host.

We were talking this year that we are only a few years away from having to figure out plan B for the extended family celebration on DH's side though. The grandkids are all getting older and within a few years we will have some weddings and babies probably. We may have to rent a hall or something.

 

[HM]

We had that happen for Thanksgiving 9 years ago. Up to that point FIL and MIL hosted all the family each year. Now their children take turns being host. We last hosted last year.

This year, I hosted Christmas Day for the first time, since my mother had a health scare a couple weeks beforehand and her medication makes her exhausted. (still not sure of long-term diagnosis....a prior extremely healthy woman). It may be that this is a one-time thing...or maybe not.

 

[smiths02]

Last year was the first year we had Christmas morning at our own house. I've been married 12 years and lived with DH for 2 years before that.
We have always had to drive 3.5 hours to his parents on Christmas Eve, wake up at their house, and then have Christmas breakfast with his grandmother (who lives 10 miles from his parents). Everyone else in the area lives close enough to drive up in the morning.
I love my ILs, they are very generous and loving, but I missed waking up in my own house on Christmas morning. We didn't even have our own tree for 10 years because it was "pointless."
We bought a nicer house, and I had twins, and I insisted on our own Christmas Eve and morning.
Now we just drive the 3-4 hours and get to his grandma's house by brunch, then we stay with his parents a few days.

Anyhow, since we live farther, we will never host, but may have our own.

DH and I are only children, but we have 3 kids. I told DH we need to retire in Orlando so all the kids want to visit us LOL
I wonder with 3 kids, how holidays will work, though.
I would enjoy hosting.

ETA: When DH's grandma is no longer able to host, I totally want to go to Dinsey or go on a cruise or something.

 

[puffkin]

Partly.

For years we felt the need to run all over the place to keep everyone happy and make ourselves and kids miserable in the process. Both our extended families live within 30 minutes of our house.

It was MISERABLE at my MIL's the last 2 years. My FIL had died unexpectedly 2 years ago and she had always hosted. With everyone grieving we didn't want to rock the boat the first few years. She doesn't put any decorations out, does minimal food (but has a fit if you bring anything because it "insults" her), and frankly doesn't really enjoy her grandchildren at all. They are too much of a "bother" for her. This was an issue at her house long before FIL passed away.

We decided when DS was young to only do Christmas Eve with that side of the family and then spend Christmas day at my parents house....less running around and my kids are absolutely adored and treasured by my side of the family and my parents house is basically a second home to them and incredibly festive on top of it. So this year, we wrenched the torch from MIL and told her and SIL/BIL that we were hosting Christmas Eve. We went out to dinner at 4:30, family church service at 6 and our house at 7 onward for light snacks, gifts etc. Feel free to join us for all, none, or some...didn't matter to us. MIL was furious. BIL/SIL and family thought it was great. And so our new tradition is born and will continue going forward