Destination Weddings - How much notice should they give?

[JoiseyMom]

There have been two threads in the past few days on destination weddings, both with shortish notice (under a year). The posters have had vacations planned and are trying to fit in the wedding.

Now, I will preface this with the fact that people are entitled to plan any type of wedding they want in any time frame they want, but all things being equal, they also have to realize that the people they invite have lives and plans and can't just drop those things at the drop of a hat to attend said wedding, no matter how close their relationships are.

Now what do you guys feel is "enough" notice for a destination wedding? Enough being that money can be saved so those invited can afford to go, and that they have plans that they would be able to cancel etc??

I will probably have one to go to this year that I have to attend and it is driving me crazy!

 

[krcit]

I say the less notice the better because then I have an excuse not to go

 

[JoiseyMom]

I say the less notice the better because then I have an excuse not to go

LMAO! That's a good reason if you feel you don't have to be there .

 

[chloelovesdisney]

We've never attended a destination wedding, it's not how we choose to use our vacation time and money. The only exception would be for a sibling or our son but since he's only 15 weeks old we don't have to worry about that yet.

If it was for a sibling I would like at least 6 months notice if possible so we didn't go ahead and book another vacation.

We have traveled for family/friend weddings in the states but since that is usually only a night or two and we can choose where to stay, etc., I don't consider that a destination wedding.

 

[Magic Mom]

I say the less notice the better because then I have an excuse not to go

Yeah, two weeks is good for me, that way I have an excuse not to spend my vacation time and money on someone else's idea of a getaway.

 

[lizabu]

I went to a wedding in Egypt and I'm going to a wedding in Sweden this summer. In both cases I've had more than a year's notice (Egypt was more like 2 years notice). If they weren't already destinations I was interested in going to in the first place I wouldn't be going (unless it was my child and possibly my sister).

 

[leebee]

Yeah, two weeks is good for me, that way I have an excuse not to spend my vacation time and money on someone else's idea of a getaway.

Honestly, most destination weddings seem to be at warm places on the ocean, and laying on the beach is NOT my family's idea of vacation. If it's a Disney wedding, that's different, because that's how I choose to spend our vacation time and dollars. Other than that? Probably not happening.

 

[AshleyW]

My destination wedding is May 5th this year. We chose to do a cruise because it's something we (and our families) enjoy. We'll have about 30 people cruising with us. We sent out a very informal letter Feb 2011 with our wedding website and travel agent information. We sent out Save the Date cards in October 2011 and official invitations in January of this year. It seemed like everyone appreciated getting the informal heads up last February so they could start making plans.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I would think at least a year. We own a timeshare and DVC, so we usually book our vacations 11 months or more out. Plus you need to give people time to save money. With e-mail it is very easy to give people that you want to attend a head's up. Of couse with a destination wedding you cannot get upset if people cannot attend as there are so many factors involved.

My husband's niece is getting married in Park City in April. She is 27 and I think I have met her twice in the 25 years DH and I have been married. When the invitation came I told DH I was not going as our daughter has a college lacrosse game that weekend and I want to watch her play. DH has probably met his niece 4 times in his life and he said he would rather be with me watching out daughter then spend a thousand dollars, that would be a stretch for us with 3 kids in college, for 2 nights in Park City when he could not even ski.

We will send a card with a nice gift and are perfectly comfortable with our decision. We did get a save the date card at 4 months out and knew immediately it would conflict with out daughter's game.

Also, for the record, technically I was not invited as my name was spelled wrong on the computer addressed invitation. I had a problem with that all the way around, but that is a separate issue.

 

[momof1princess]

i'd need at least a year. we usually plan our vacations 9-12 months in advance, so, unless it was a relative we're really close to, and we don't have very many of those, we'd send our regrets and a nice gift, and go on our vacation as scheduled.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have been to one destination wedding. DSiL got engaged on Valentine's Day and got married that September. I think after about a month they had decided to get married in Hawaii--so that means we had about 6 months of warning.

We did cancel two other vacation to be able to (barely) afford it. We are glad we went for what it was, and we did stay a week (wanted to get something for that time and money) but it is nowhere we ever would have chosen for vacation or will go to again.

 

[DeaverTex]

I think that the couple should send out the notices/invitations sufficiently early so that they can save up to pay their guest's expenses. That could take years, but I'm patient.

Wanting to be married in an exotic or exciting location is perfectly reasonable, and is certainly the prerogative of the couple. Expecting others to drop their lives and commit thousands of dollars and days of hard-to-get vacation time to be present shows a serious disconnect with reality.

 

[Kellydelly]

Define destination? It seems that some people think if they have to leave their own town to attend a wedding it's a destination wedding. I consider a destination wedding one where the bride and groom pick a place where neither of them currently live or are from, places like Hawaii, the Bahamas, Disney World, etc. I would appreciate at least 6 months notice if someone wants me to spend money to be at a resort wedding. If I have to travel to be in or attend a wedding that just happens to not be in my area, I think a few months notice is plenty.

 

[nmmom95]

Honestly, most destination weddings seem to be at warm places on the ocean, and laying on the beach is NOT my family's idea of vacation. If it's a Disney wedding, that's different, because that's how I choose to spend our vacation time and dollars. Other than that? Probably not happening.

My (immediate) family loves the beach, but we don't like enough of our extended family enough to vacation with them.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Define destination? It seems that some people think if they have to leave their own town to attend a wedding it's a destination wedding. I consider a destination wedding one where the bride and groom pick a place where neither of them currently live or are from, places like Hawaii, the Bahamas, Disney World, etc. I would appreciate at least 6 months notice if someone wants me to spend money to be at a resort wedding. If I have to travel to be in or attend a wedding that just happens to not be in my area, I think a few months notice is plenty.

Yes, your definition is the accurate one. In my case the bride and groom live in one state, his immediate family in another, her family is yet another. She wants to get married out of the country. He wants to do whatever makes her happy.

 

[disney4us2002]

I thought the reason most couples chose a destination wedding is to make it a more intimate, small gathering of just close family & friends so I wouldn't think much of an invitation other than to be courteous or possibly looking for a gift.

My dh and I are in the minority of the rest of the US population I think since we don't have much family to speak of. It seems the majority of Dis posters have lots of family - siblings, parents, grandparents, greats, etc. We don't have that so I can't really see us being invited to a destination wedding.

 

[pigletgirl]

As soon as we knew we were getting married, we let those know who lived over 1000 miles away enough ahead of time so they could do what they needed to do in terms of travel,ect. I think any time you have a wedding that is somewhere else OR you have people coming in from all over, advanced notice is a curteous thing to do.

 

[Art 1]

1 year.

 

[disneychrista]

I think people worry too much about the wedding and not enough on the marriage.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I think people worry too much about the wedding and not enough on the marriage.

I don't really see how a couple planning a destination wedding means that they don't care about their marriage.