Debt Dumpers 2023

Mid/End Month Check In

Reduce grocery budget and dining out spending. Goal: Grocery $350/month, Dining $400/month
Current: Grocery $315, Dining $210 + $50 credit card credits

This has gone well so far, I'm working on the next chunk of meal plan this week. I'll probably shop this weekend and put that against February's budget. So far this month we had a big miscellaneous shop when we got back to town, one big "shop" (divided into 2 pickup orders) after I meal planned, and 3 small shops for perishables/things that were forgotten. I just need to get a little more organized with my lists because the forgotten things would have cut 2 of the small shops, but my only random purchase was more fresh berries for the baby. On one hand our purchases this month included some stock up sale items like 5 dozen eggs, butter, coffee creamer, that will last through February but on the other most protein came from the freezer this month, so it'll be interesting to see how next month goes.
Overall I think we've done pretty well and have only skipped one planned meal on the list and I'm not anticipating any more grocery spending before the February shop. I have $85 in dining credits left that I think I'm going to use to try some freezer meals from a local restaurant, that will cover 8 individual meals for when we don't want to cook.

Home
Started a project list, need to go through and prioritize. We ended up purchasing 2 items on our list this weekend at some furniture consignment shops, which always make for a good Saturday activity.
Stair gate/front hallway project is coming along and gate is useable 👏 Now lights have been added to the scope so ordering those today.
I left the 'needs finished' Christmas projects in my craft room to hopefully motivate/remind me to work on them.

Budget
Reworked ✅
Added baby spending line ✅
The gate/hallway project is too much and I'm just letting go tracking it specifically. I'll make sure we budget better for the next projects. Then I need to figure out if the gate/hallway project spending and the furniture purchases is coming from the barn savings, or cashed out credit card points. December was a lower income month and the generic home budget line is skint.

Personal
I didn't have this specifically listed but I'd picked up a bad vending machine habit again since returning to work, so I quit cold turkey. I keep some healthy snacks at work and I've only purchased one chocolate milk from the vending machine.
Forced time for myself? I found out I have to travel for work at the beginning of February, only a few weeks out.




The big wrench thrown into our plans was finding out I'd have to travel for work - when I switched positions a few years back, I knew the plan was to travel once or twice a year which I was interested in, but it hasn't been happening due to covid. And I think I missed the discussions of starting travel again when I was on maternity leave so I was a bit blindsided in a meeting. So trying to make sure we have some easy things for DH to feed the baby and himself, plenty of bottles, milk/formula... whatever to make it easier. It will definitely be weird to be away. I have to go early Monday morning to Friday afternoon. I'm also supposed to travel in August but at least I'll be more prepared for that!


2023 Goals
Letting corporate talk overflow into my personal life, each has a list of deliverables to help meet the goal 😂 And there's definitely some overlap to the goals

Reduce grocery budget and dining out spending. Grocery $350/month, Dining $400/month
  • Establish meal planning routine (have one we're trying currently)
  • Less stops in the grocery store - aiming for one big shop and one to two small ones for perishables mid month
  • Meal planning and less shopping should mean less food waste, use what we have, not picking up random things on a whim.
  • This should help with dining out too. Also, I have some monthly dining credits on my credit cards etc so I'm trying to cut the actual cash spent back. They're like an extra $150 on top of what we're actually spending.
  • 2022 averages: Grocery $476/month, Dining out $457/month
Home
  • Household meetings monthly to review budget, meal plan, plans for month
  • Get things in order related to wills, life insurance, etc - I have a checklist
  • Establish cleaning routine
  • Make project list for around house and prioritize (this would include diy, organizing, purchasing decor, etc)
  • Complete projects that are started or already have materials purchased for, including master closet, pantry, and stair gate/front hallway project
  • Finish Christmas projects for next year 😂 wire ornaments on outdoor trees, personalize stockings...
Budget
  • Rework based on current base incomes
  • Add budget lines for baby spending and home projects based on priorities
  • Barn Savings Goal (and other specifics) should come from meetings
Personal
  • Be active/ lose weight - I just want to get back to feeling better, clothes fitting better. I did good at the beginning of 2020 with a reward system when I hit a goal then covid happened and I stopped. The meal planning stuff should help here too
  • Meet up with friends/time for myself - I recently found out an old friend lives nearby so we want to catch up. And just some general time where I'm not hauling the baby around or have her hanging off of me 😂
Travel Goals - I have a bunch of credit card points stashed and need to make up for the last few years 🙃
  • Disneyland trip - had to cancel in 2020, plus my brother in law out there is having a second child this year
  • Disney World - I know a few people going later in the year so we may plan an overlapping trip
  • Couples trip for Halloween Horror Nights in September
  • Couples trip to Universal this summer since we have annual passes
  • Make it back to my hometown twice with the baby, either just us or DH joins us later. He just has way less pto than I do
  • Family long weekends - I'd love to do one soon, and we were talking about Niagara falls this summer.
  • Start to replan our cancelled 2020 Europe trip
 
We went to Vegas over the weekend for my DH's birthday. We had a lot of fun and now that we're back I need to figure out how much money we spent in total and where all I want it to come out from. I don't think we spent quite as much as I thought we would, but we split a lot of costs with the friends we went with. They also bought our brunch on Sunday for my DH's birthday.

Yesterday afternoon my DH found out that the owner of his company sold the business effective next week. He's not out of a job or anything, but he's not sure how he feels about everything. He's been half out the door for awhile now, just not really enjoying the job anymore since they've been understaffed and can't seem to hire anyone which has put a lot of stress on him (he's a manager). The owner has had recurring bouts of cancer so it's 100% understandable as to why he sold, but the way he's going about everything just isn't right/fair to the employees. Soooo we'll see what happens with everything. He knows that his pay schedule will change from twice a month to every other week, which isn't that big of a deal. I'll just need to adjust how I pay things. But he doesn't have answers on how much/if his health insurance will go up, how this will affect his sick/vacation time, the time off he currently has scheduled, etc. One of the big draws of this job for him was that it was a family owned/run franchise, but now it's been bought out by the actual corporation and he doesn't know if we wants to be apart of the corporate world again. He worked for Toyota for just shy of 10 years and hated it. I've told him that next week once everything happens and when everyone finds out, if he wants to up and quit I'd support his decision. Would it be tight money wise? Yeah a little bit, but we'd make it work. We're almost 100% positive he could get a job with one of our friends at another dealership and it would end up just being an in-between job while he looks for something else.

So yeah, January is off to a "fun" start?
 
I don't see much changing over the next few days, so I'll end this month now.

Paid off a lot of stuff. We decided to keep the care credit (0% interest) and our two personal loans because they're actually helping our credit improve. I have the money for both of those in a savings account ready to go so it's "paid for" but not paid off yet.

Vegas trip is fully funded plus some. I had a really good night the other night off my freeplay money and brought home $1300 (tax free!) to fully fund it plus some extra.

Also got Disney on ice tickets for Feb. We are trying to plan something fun with the family once a month and they LOVED the one we went to last year so we're going again.

Disney we're waiting for ticket info to drop (we're going with a homeschool group) so I can find out for sure if my step son and his family can join us or if we'll be just the 5 of us. That will determine where we stay. I have some money set back for the tickets since they need to be purchased first.

Home fund is slowly starting. I'm not worrying about this too much because we can't move until I get my mom moved. And she's procrastinating on literally every thing possible these days. At this point, we aren't looking at moving until next year at the rate things are going.
 
I don't see much changing over the next few days, so I'll end this month now.

Paid off a lot of stuff. We decided to keep the care credit (0% interest) and our two personal loans because they're actually helping our credit improve. I have the money for both of those in a savings account ready to go so it's "paid for" but not paid off yet.

Vegas trip is fully funded plus some. I had a really good night the other night off my freeplay money and brought home $1300 (tax free!) to fully fund it plus some extra.

Also got Disney on ice tickets for Feb. We are trying to plan something fun with the family once a month and they LOVED the one we went to last year so we're going again.

Disney we're waiting for ticket info to drop (we're going with a homeschool group) so I can find out for sure if my step son and his family can join us or if we'll be just the 5 of us. That will determine where we stay. I have some money set back for the tickets since they need to be purchased first.

Home fund is slowly starting. I'm not worrying about this too much because we can't move until I get my mom moved. And she's procrastinating on literally every thing possible these days. At this point, we aren't looking at moving until next year at the rate things are going.
Did your parents live together for a long time at this house? This is probably a really hard move for her to make and she is likely living in a fog and just going through the motions. It took my dad over 3 years to finally stop crying constantly. He can now actually tell me he misses her without a cry in his voice. It will be 4 years in May.
There is no way in HELLo that he would willingly sell their house. Her socks & undies are still in her drawer. Her shoes were finally moved from the floor next to her side of the bed to her closet.
I think if I even put a gun to his head now and said either move or take a bullet, he’d take the bullet.

How urgent is it that your mom moves right now? Is there any alternative?
 
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Did your parents live together for a long time at this house? This is probably a really hard move for her to make and she is likely living in a fog and just going through the motions. It took my dad over 3 years to finally stop crying constantly. He can now actually tell me he misses her without a cry in his voice. It will be 4 years in May.
There is no way in HELLo that he would willingly sell their house. Her socks & undies are still in her drawer. Her shoes were finally moved from the floor next to her side if the bed to her closet.
I think if I even put a gun to his head now and said either move or take a bullet, he’d take the bullet.

How urgent is it that your mom moves right now? Is there any alternative?

She wants to move back to PA where her family is. We are moving to Indiana to be closer to my husband's family. She will have nobody here. No family. No friends. Nobody to check on her when she doesnt answer the phone for 2 days because she "didn't realize it had been that long since I had called". She isn't of sound mind to live on her own and hasn't been that way for years. She's said since the day they moved into that house that she hated it.


I'm not being an a hole child, I promise. This is stuff that has been going on since I was 12 that has progressively gotten worse. She can barely take care of herself and the 2 dogs she has, let alone a 4 bedroom house with a yard that will need maintained. She needs to be somewhere where she doesn't need to worry about laundry and dishes, mowing a yard, cleaning a house, cooking and dishes. And most importantly, if she passes out in the dang kitchen (again) someone will be there to check on her so she isn't laying there knocked out for over an hour because she didn't take her BP meds correctly (again).
 
She wants to move back to PA where her family is. We are moving to Indiana to be closer to my husband's family. She will have nobody here. No family. No friends. Nobody to check on her when she doesnt answer the phone for 2 days because she "didn't realize it had been that long since I had called". She isn't of sound mind to live on her own and hasn't been that way for years. She's said since the day they moved into that house that she hated it.


I'm not being an a hole child, I promise. This is stuff that has been going on since I was 12 that has progressively gotten worse. She can barely take care of herself and the 2 dogs she has, let alone a 4 bedroom house with a yard that will need maintained. She needs to be somewhere where she doesn't need to worry about laundry and dishes, mowing a yard, cleaning a house, cooking and dishes. And most importantly, if she passes out in the dang kitchen (again) someone will be there to check on her so she isn't laying there knocked out for over an hour because she didn't take her BP meds correctly (again).
Oh that is so hard.
Can she afford to have an aide visit until she can move?
 
She wants to move back to PA where her family is. We are moving to Indiana to be closer to my husband's family. She will have nobody here. No family. No friends. Nobody to check on her when she doesnt answer the phone for 2 days because she "didn't realize it had been that long since I had called". She isn't of sound mind to live on her own and hasn't been that way for years. She's said since the day they moved into that house that she hated it.


I'm not being an a hole child, I promise. This is stuff that has been going on since I was 12 that has progressively gotten worse. She can barely take care of herself and the 2 dogs she has, let alone a 4 bedroom house with a yard that will need maintained. She needs to be somewhere where she doesn't need to worry about laundry and dishes, mowing a yard, cleaning a house, cooking and dishes. And most importantly, if she passes out in the dang kitchen (again) someone will be there to check on her so she isn't laying there knocked out for over an hour because she didn't take her BP meds correctly (again).


will she be moving into assisted living?
 


Oh that is so hard.
Can she afford to have an aide visit until she can move?

will she be moving into assisted living?

I could hire someone in, but deep down I know she needs the change in environment more than anything. Being here has caused a big depression for her being away from family (we moved here 26 yeas ago for dad's job). I'm going to push for either assisted living or an apartment/condo with a home health aid. She'll fight me on it, but she's not taking care of things now. I think with me having POA I can "force" her to. And my aunts and uncle agree with me, she shouldn't be alone.
 
I could hire someone in, but deep down I know she needs the change in environment more than anything. Being here has caused a big depression for her being away from family (we moved here 26 yeas ago for dad's job). I'm going to push for either assisted living or an apartment/condo with a home health aid. She'll fight me on it, but she's not taking care of things now. I think with me having POA I can "force" her to. And my aunts and uncle agree with me, she shouldn't be alone.

based on personal experience, gotta ask-

is the power of attorney in current effect or does it go into effect upon her 'incapacity'? whatever it is-is it revocable? i'm asking cuz both our moms had revocable/upon incapacity-and when push came to shove w/my mom she revoked and would play musical poa with whatever family member she thought would do what she wanted which can lead to elder financial abuse (and it did). when we finally caught some luck and she signed on w/someone who was looking out for her best interests we thought we could get things taken care of and she wouldn't be able to change again b/c of an early onset dementia diagnosis but NO, we learned it's almost impossible to get a doctor who will deem a person incapable absent a formal prolonged and costly court battle. take a close look at what kind of poa you have for her b/c you may have little to no actual 'power'.

before my mom got really bad the way we sold her on assisted living was similar to your mom's situation-she was selling her house and moving. we suggested assisted living 'just to start out', saying it was like an apartment with some extra help that would drive her to doctors appointments 'until you get familiar with the area', provide meals 'until you get familiar with where the grocery stores are that carry the things you like', 'help get you set up with a pharmacy that will deliver so you don't have to pick it up'.....sold her on it as a temporary living situation. however, once she got used to on the lowest level of 'assisted' (housekeeping once a week, 3 meals a day available in dining area, they check on you if they don't see you once a day, shuttle to doctors/shopping) she was hard pressed to even consider moving into a traditional apartment. same happened with my mil-though it was her choice but she only ever saw it as a stop-gap until she found her ideal apartment (which never happened to our relief).
 
based on personal experience, gotta ask-

is the power of attorney in current effect or does it go into effect upon her 'incapacity'? whatever it is-is it revocable? i'm asking cuz both our moms had revocable/upon incapacity-and when push came to shove w/my mom she revoked and would play musical poa with whatever family member she thought would do what she wanted which can lead to elder financial abuse (and it did). when we finally caught some luck and she signed on w/someone who was looking out for her best interests we thought we could get things taken care of and she wouldn't be able to change again b/c of an early onset dementia diagnosis but NO, we learned it's almost impossible to get a doctor who will deem a person incapable absent a formal prolonged and costly court battle. take a close look at what kind of poa you have for her b/c you may have little to no actual 'power'.

before my mom got really bad the way we sold her on assisted living was similar to your mom's situation-she was selling her house and moving. we suggested assisted living 'just to start out', saying it was like an apartment with some extra help that would drive her to doctors appointments 'until you get familiar with the area', provide meals 'until you get familiar with where the grocery stores are that carry the things you like', 'help get you set up with a pharmacy that will deliver so you don't have to pick it up'.....sold her on it as a temporary living situation. however, once she got used to on the lowest level of 'assisted' (housekeeping once a week, 3 meals a day available in dining area, they check on you if they don't see you once a day, shuttle to doctors/shopping) she was hard pressed to even consider moving into a traditional apartment. same happened with my mil-though it was her choice but she only ever saw it as a stop-gap until she found her ideal apartment (which never happened to our relief).

We don't have it set yet, but I've already told her we need everything set so I can take care of literally everything. She's agreed, so I don't see her changing her mind on that.
The place I'm actually looking into is the same place my grandmother (mom's mom) is at. She's allowed to keep her vehicle and check herself in and out. They have cute little one bedroom "apartments", and every amenity she could imagine. She keeps saying she wants a 3 bedroom house, but I know she can't handle that. I'm going to be the bad guy no matter what, but I'm hoping my aunts and uncle backing me up will help convince her my intentions are in her best interest.
 
I’m here! (Everyone cares, jk)

Honestly? I haven’t set any FIRM goals so far this year. I feel like I’m just BLOWING through money. I got that 40k pay increase back in November and it almost feels like it’s making no discernible difference. Obviously I know that’s not true, but it feels like it.

First, there way a delay between paychecks at the old job and the new job, so the pay increase made up for missed check at my old job. Then it was thanksgiving (which I hosted and paid for), then Christmas and my anniversary. Then my birthday. Plus we are only 6 months in our new (and first) house so we are still spending on furniture, etc left and right. Plus my car broke (lol) so even though my checks are larger, I’m starting to put money aside for a car. FINALLY I booked a June WDW trip so I’m throwing money at that. I know I couldn’t do all this without the pay increase, so it IS making a difference, but actual savings isn’t increasing too much (yet) because of everything I’m spending or planning to spend. Yikes! At least I’m not creating any new debt (ofc that will change once I buy a car)

I feel like I just need some time to settle after the house, job switch, holidays etc etc and then I’ll get my act together.
 
End of January Check in/Update!

I will be closing out the budget for the month in a couple of days, but all of the major spending/saving/etc is done! January wasn't bad financially. Personally it was a hot mess, but that is to be expected when you have a newborn and a kindergartener who has special needs. Going from 1-2 kids was definitely easier for me than 2-3. Anyway, on with the update.

1. Pay off the birth (projected to be around $2,000 total for me and baby looking at our EOBs and insurance coverage. Hospital portion has been sent to insurance, waiting on the doctor to submit her part to insurance but that bill was prepaid months ago so I’m not concerned about it). **One of two paid off! Waiting on my OB to send a refund check so I can pay off the rest. We prepaid the OB based on our insurance benefits but by the time they billed my deductible and OOP max were maxed out. We can pay off the other bill with that refund.
2. Pay off two of our 3 credit cards (approx $13,000). We really racked up the debt during my husband’s unemployment period this year. We were so close to being consumer debt free before that and I’m looking forward to getting back there! **Made progress! Payed down approx. $1,000. We are tackling the debt using the avalanche method, highest interest percentage first. It is nice to see the balance going down!
3. Start husband’s 403B (he works for a non-profit) and contribute to match (5% of our income). **Not yet, will start in a couple of months once we have the new budget sorted out. We are salary and no OT so each paycheck will be the same eventually once benefits start coming out.
4. Grow emergency savings to $13,000 by the end of 2023. **3,600/13,000

Personal goals:
1. Continue making moving my body a priority (4/7 days a week) **Fail. Maybe 1 day/week? Better than nothing.
2. Read 12 books this year **1/12 done!
 
I’m here! (Everyone cares, jk)

Honestly? I haven’t set any FIRM goals so far this year. I feel like I’m just BLOWING through money. I got that 40k pay increase back in November and it almost feels like it’s making no discernible difference. Obviously I know that’s not true, but it feels like it.

First, there way a delay between paychecks at the old job and the new job, so the pay increase made up for missed check at my old job. Then it was thanksgiving (which I hosted and paid for), then Christmas and my anniversary. Then my birthday. Plus we are only 6 months in our new (and first) house so we are still spending on furniture, etc left and right. Plus my car broke (lol) so even though my checks are larger, I’m starting to put money aside for a car. FINALLY I booked a June WDW trip so I’m throwing money at that. I know I couldn’t do all this without the pay increase, so it IS making a difference, but actual savings isn’t increasing too much (yet) because of everything I’m spending or planning to spend. Yikes! At least I’m not creating any new debt (ofc that will change once I buy a car)

I feel like I just need some time to settle after the house, job switch, holidays etc etc and then I’ll get my act together.
Buying a home is a huge transition. Our house was a big time fixer upper so it was always something. That first month though was rough. We had a baby (first) the same week we bought the house so we went from being "TINKS" and having a huge amounts saved, to paying all the required $ at settlement and then some. Then based on the home inspection claiming a possibly craked heat exchanger, my brother who does HVAC said not to spend one night there without a CO detector so we opted to just put in a new furnace & AC before we even moved in. Dh would say every day, "We're hemorrhaging money!"

It still needs things time to time but at least it's not constant and all the improvements we make are for our own future enjoyment and eventual resale value.

Anyway, eventually things will settle down and you can gradually make improvements over time. It doesn't all have to be done at once.
 
Hello again!!

I kind of fell off the radar last year.

Life happened. Long story as quickly as possible:
  • I switched jobs,
  • moved,
  • got shanghaied by my movers,
  • started my new job,
  • wound up driving further to work even after the move,
  • had a lot more responsibilities and duties at the new job (all teaching related, so not like I'm climbing a corporate ladder and raking in benefits),
  • still fighting with the VA over medical issues from my time in service,
  • still having medical problems from the car wreck last April,
  • Mom fell in September and broke her hip
    • had hip replacement surgery
    • went to rehab
    • wound up with some other issues
    • went back to the hospital
    • was diagnosed with an aggressive and untreatable infection (due to heart valve replacement years earlier)
    • went home on hospice and passed the week before Thanksgiving
  • My sisters and I spent Thanksgiving through the end of the year settling moms estate
  • I am frankly still in shock. Not sure which stage of grief that is, but I know I am not done with them yet.
The good news out of everything that has happened is that I absolutely love the new school I am teaching in; and mom had enough life insurance policies that I am able to shave about 5 years off of my plans to be debt free. I'd rather have my mom, though.
Really sorry to hear about your Mom. Sending you virtual hugs.
 
We went to Vegas over the weekend for my DH's birthday. We had a lot of fun and now that we're back I need to figure out how much money we spent in total and where all I want it to come out from. I don't think we spent quite as much as I thought we would, but we split a lot of costs with the friends we went with. They also bought our brunch on Sunday for my DH's birthday.

Yesterday afternoon my DH found out that the owner of his company sold the business effective next week. He's not out of a job or anything, but he's not sure how he feels about everything. He's been half out the door for awhile now, just not really enjoying the job anymore since they've been understaffed and can't seem to hire anyone which has put a lot of stress on him (he's a manager). The owner has had recurring bouts of cancer so it's 100% understandable as to why he sold, but the way he's going about everything just isn't right/fair to the employees. Soooo we'll see what happens with everything. He knows that his pay schedule will change from twice a month to every other week, which isn't that big of a deal. I'll just need to adjust how I pay things. But he doesn't have answers on how much/if his health insurance will go up, how this will affect his sick/vacation time, the time off he currently has scheduled, etc. One of the big draws of this job for him was that it was a family owned/run franchise, but now it's been bought out by the actual corporation and he doesn't know if we wants to be apart of the corporate world again. He worked for Toyota for just shy of 10 years and hated it. I've told him that next week once everything happens and when everyone finds out, if he wants to up and quit I'd support his decision. Would it be tight money wise? Yeah a little bit, but we'd make it work. We're almost 100% positive he could get a job with one of our friends at another dealership and it would end up just being an in-between job while he looks for something else.

So yeah, January is off to a "fun" start?
Sometimes I wish the Disboards had a Like but also Dislike button all in one. Yay for the fun Vegas trip, sorry for the limbo you feel over the changes at DH’s job.
 
We don't have it set yet, but I've already told her we need everything set so I can take care of literally everything. She's agreed, so I don't see her changing her mind on that.
The place I'm actually looking into is the same place my grandmother (mom's mom) is at. She's allowed to keep her vehicle and check herself in and out. They have cute little one bedroom "apartments", and every amenity she could imagine. She keeps saying she wants a 3 bedroom house, but I know she can't handle that. I'm going to be the bad guy no matter what, but I'm hoping my aunts and uncle backing me up will help convince her my intentions are in her best interest.
Sending you positive vibes and really hoping for the best for your mom and you as you progress through this journey.
 
so sorry to hear of this! will homeowner's insurance cover it? if so then you might get a good surprise on items you don't realize they will cover looking at the initial damage but b/c of how things (for lack of a better word) 'interlocked' ARE covered. we had an issue with our roof that caused a need for repainting a a couple of areas on walls-b/c the walls in our house have the slightly rounded corners vs. squared off insurance said they had to paint all the connecting walls to the damaged area so all but bedrooms/bathrooms/laundry room was repainted. if your water damage caused wall or paint damage near the floor boards it may result in painting being covered (and we were able to pick new colors). if the baseboards need to be replaced insurance should cover them as well but if not-when we replaced a big chunk of our flooring last spring i took the base boards after they were removed to install the lvp and gave them a good scrubbing-it was amazing what a difference it made. we also did find that it was far less expensive to just go ahead and do multiple rooms of flooring at once vs. over multiple individual projects (even if you don't go this route-if the flooring is lvp and you want it to match one with the other-consider buying all of it NOW so it will come from the same production run and you won't get variations in colors and such-just store it till you need it).

again, so sorry for this-take care!
Thanks @barkley for some excellent ideas/things to consider. I really appreciate your thoughtful response. Yes, I am going to get enough flooring from the same batch to cover the entire house. Good idea about scrubbing the baseboards, but they are an ugly shape and very cheap looking. I had planned to replace them in the future whenever I replaced the flooring—and due to the flood, ”future“ is suddenly “now”.
 
She wants to move back to PA where her family is. We are moving to Indiana to be closer to my husband's family. She will have nobody here. No family. No friends. Nobody to check on her when she doesnt answer the phone for 2 days because she "didn't realize it had been that long since I had called". She isn't of sound mind to live on her own and hasn't been that way for years. She's said since the day they moved into that house that she hated it.


I'm not being an a hole child, I promise. This is stuff that has been going on since I was 12 that has progressively gotten worse. She can barely take care of herself and the 2 dogs she has, let alone a 4 bedroom house with a yard that will need maintained. She needs to be somewhere where she doesn't need to worry about laundry and dishes, mowing a yard, cleaning a house, cooking and dishes. And most importantly, if she passes out in the dang kitchen (again) someone will be there to check on her so she isn't laying there knocked out for over an hour because she didn't take her BP meds correctly (again).
We just moved my husbands grandmother to an apartment closer to us. His parents live over an hour away and it is just them. So closer to us was better because she didn't have to move too far. She lived in her house for over 50 years. She pretty much refused to do anything with the move. She new she had to move. She fell down a few stairs and it just wasn't safe for her any longer. We moved her into an apartment for seniors but not assisted living. She was a part of the process but refused to back or deal with the realtor to sell her house. We had to do it all for her. We did because it just had to be done. It wasn't easy though. She was not happy most of the time. Now that she has been in the apartment she is doing better. There are days she doesn't like it. She misses her house and knowing the area but she knows this was the right move. She is even going through a few boxes each week and getting rid of stuff. She refused to get rid of anything or listen when I would tell her that the apartment will be much smaller then her house.

I am just saying this to let you know that we know how you feel and it will get better. We felt like we were being so mean but we weren't. The stuff just had to get done. Now she is closer to us so we can help her, she is in a city that has a huge senior network (she will get a dinner every day for either $6 or free depending on a grant plus a shuttle service for seniors) and a safer city and a safer house. She lived in the city with a high crime rate.
 
First, there way a delay between paychecks at the old job and the new job, so the pay increase made up for missed check at my old job. Then it was thanksgiving (which I hosted and paid for), then Christmas and my anniversary. Then my birthday. Plus we are only 6 months in our new (and first) house so we are still spending on furniture, etc left and right. Plus my car broke (lol) so even though my checks are larger, I’m starting to put money aside for a car. FINALLY I booked a June WDW trip so I’m throwing money at that. I know I couldn’t do all this without the pay increase, so it IS making a difference, but actual savings isn’t increasing too much (yet) because of everything I’m spending or planning to spend. Yikes! At least I’m not creating any new debt (ofc that will change once I buy a car)

I feel like I just need some time to settle after the house, job switch, holidays etc etc and then I’ll get my act together.
We have something similar going on with just purchasing a house so I understand.
 

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