Aspie Moms, what's the strangest phone call from school you've gotten?

[BeckyScott]

Teacher: "Did he go back to sleep?"

Me: "I don't know, I did"

Been there!

Once Justin got old enough, where he was happy watching tv when he did the middle-of-the-night wake-ups-- he won't go to sleep without the tv on anyway-- once he was happy watching tv and not getting out of bed, I was outta there. I remember when he was about 18 months, he was only sleeping maybe 4-5 hours, and not all at once, and one of us had to be up with him. It was worse than a newborn. Now he just watches tv, and I go back to bed.

 

[koolaidmoms]

My son reads instead of sleeping. He will be sitting in bed at 11 pm - midnight reading. I go to sleep. He falls asleep with his books surrounding him. Not stuffed animals, books. When he wakes up that's what he does read anything and everything. Once he got in trouble and we were going to take his books away for the evening. He looked up at us and said, "But, I was going to read the Bible tonight." What was I supposed to do. I let him keep the Bible.

I am glad to know mine is not the only non-sleeper.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

OMG! Mine will stay up all night if I let him! He was the most awful sleeper as a baby and I finally let him have a TV in his room so I could get some sleep when he was 4. Now that he's 6, he is only allowed to watch movies all night on weekends. He lives for movie night.

He also does not like to read books. He reads maps all evening or looks at a globe.

We have had the tired-at-school call from the teacher. Maybe she's just boring?

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

This thread is cracking me up.

7) All food must be eaten WITH utensils

That is a rule around here that we TRY to make DS stick to. He's a sensory-seeker, so he thinks he HAS to have his hands in everything because it feels good. But then he gets upset because his hands/arms get all messy, sticky, etc.
"Well if you'd use a fork/spoon, you wouldn't be all sticky now would you?"

DS also LOVES the water. Every time we go to the park (which is right next to the pool, thank god for the fence!) he asks if we can go swimmng now. I tell him it's too dang cold, but he insists it would still be nice to go swimming. I can't drag him out of the pool in the summer.

My DH adds to the list:
1) All of my sweatshirts and sweaters must be three sizes to big. If it fits me I won't wear it.
2) Unopened mail will be held in perpetuity until it biodegrades. I won't open mail unless I am really unsure as to what's in it.
3) Clothing unworn for a period of 6 months or more will be placed into a separate pile to be reevaluated in another 6 months, then sorted into another pile awaiting yet another reevaluation

Hey wait a minute..is this YOUR DH we're talking about or mine?

 

[BeckyScott]

Here's a dilemma for ya, especially for those with younger kids.

It seems to be sort of a spectrum thing, that books are for information and not entertainment. In other words, fiction is useless. We have strictly a non-fiction household. Justin has a children's dictionary he has dragged around for the past five years, taken it everywhere, no longer has a cover he's pretty much memorized it... we go to the library and the kids will check out science books, books about aliens and UFO's, books about the planets, books about robots... but never ever a story book.

Oldest DS is now starting to write book reports. (not to be confused with the daily reading log) The teacher has specified they are to be *fiction* chapter books. Whoa Nellie, do what? Not only does DS not want to read those, we don't even own any, I gave up on that whole thing years ago. So far we've managed to pull it off by writing on the UFO and alien books, while technically they're non-fiction as designated by the Dewey Decimal System, they are about UFO's and depending on who you ask that could be considered fiction.

I have a feeling this won't be the only time he's asked to do something for school that just does not fit in his view of the world. Oldest DS is in process of being tested for several things, including Aspie, and if that pulls through I can maybe get something in his IEP to accomodate it-- I don't really see that there's too much difference as long as he's reading something-- but this is pretty typical of how the whole school year has gone.

 

[koolaidmoms]

Here's a dilemma for ya, especially for those with younger kids.

It seems to be sort of a spectrum thing, that books are for information and not entertainment. In other words, fiction is useless. We have strictly a non-fiction household. Justin has a children's dictionary he has dragged around for the past five years, taken it everywhere, no longer has a cover he's pretty much memorized it... we go to the library and the kids will check out science books, books about aliens and UFO's, books about the planets, books about robots... but never ever a story book.

Will he read a fiction book about something factual? My son went through a phase where he would only read books as long as they contained enough facts to entertain him but could be fictional. He went through a Magic Treehouse phase which was good because they had the non-fiction guides to go with them (read the book then you get to read the guide). He went through an historical fiction phase (what could have happened if the other person had won in presidential races). He is starting to move on though. He is reading the A to Z Mysteries and Charlotte's Web now. It is hard as he is only 5 and finding things that are appropriate are tough. He could read much more difficult material but I am happy he's reading fiction of some sort.

I know about the dictionary! My son has been through 2 Scholastic Dictionaries so far (he sleeps with them). We used to say we were going to take away the dictionary for making poor choices.

 

[bookwormde]

Yes all my son’s teacher’s and IEP team know that “social fiction” is not going to work and his academic curriculum has been modified to reflect this. Technical fiction is fine but as said has to have lots of facts that are “correct” or be futuristic enough or other worldly (pokemon etc.).

Come to think of it I think the last true fiction book I read was Poseidon Adventure (in the 80s), and that was neat because of the perspective inversion and the technical challenges.

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Becki- I love the quote from the Grinch. It's my favorite line from the book and maybe my favorite quote of all time from a kid's book. Glad to know I'm not the only one who likes it.

I have stacks of cute kid's fiction books from DD (8). DS won't even crack one, unless it's a Disney movie book he's been enjoying lately. Funny how Fiction is boring, but my kid lives for movies. I think it's an interesting contrast. He never has enjoyed listening to a story, but will watch one. He does like listening to music.

This morning we were watching the news and DS had just gotten out of bed and was walking to the living room. On the news was a shot of a map of Yemen and surrounding areas. He's only 6 and barely reading- but he walks by and shouts-fully alert- "Look, it's Africa!!!". He can identify parts of land masses. I'm scared.

He also told the babysitter today that Egypt has "lots of angry people living there". Hmmm.... How'd he know?

Glad I started this thread. You all are great. Thanks so much...

 

[buzz for boys]

Our school accomadate his very strict rules on reading material into every aspect of school life when he was learning the alphabet they adapted the alphabet into star wars characters - it tooks us weeks to get a character for every letter that was alsao phonically correct !!! Now he loves sci fi so any book report we have to do is usually around a sci fi book and the school have even bought in books that he will like for the library. There was just no way he would read the proper reading books that was sent home from school !! Our school just want him to do a report now and to read a book everyday no longer bothered about what or how we acheive this.
HTH x x

 

[Pegasus928]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread for a number of reasons.
1. It's been good entertainment.
2. I've noticed so many things that are evident in my DS
3. I've gained an insight into how you guys deal with particular situations.

My son eats almost every meal with his fingers, wont drink anything fizzy, gets really mad at me and DW for drinking alcohol (though its ok if all the other 50 people at the party are doing it), always has the TV no matter what time of the night we go in his room - or how many times we turn it off, always sleeps with a fan on, isnt interested in fictional books - and the list goes on as you can imagine.

As for stories from school unfortunately most of ours are not really that funny. We had his special needs head tell us once that she was very surprised by his attitude in class once when he walked up to her and claimed that he had finished his work now and was going. She said it was bordering on rude and out of character for his condition as most of the other special needs kids where as quiet as mice. (a little more education needed on her part I think)
Then this year at my DD parents evening we met with her teacher - who is my sons old teacher and who never really "got" him. She started the meeting by proclaiming that she couldnt believe how different they were considering they were brother and sister. Erm - Yes. DD doesnt have aspergers. She is also the school SENCO believe it or not. (the teacher that is - not my daughter, although she would do a better job I reckon)

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Glad you joined us! Yesterday I had to pick up the kids right after school to make an appointment on the other side of town. It's easier to walk in the school and pick them up than wait in the car line, so I had the secretary call the teachers and get the kids to be the first ones down so we could leave fast. Apparently, DS heard this phone call and came down on his own- just packed up his stuff and left the class. The teacher sent another kid after him- "You can't leave yet! She didn't dismiss him!". My son looked at me like "You've got to be kidding?". I told the girl to tell the teacher it was OK- and that I had him. Poor little girl came back a minute later (DD wasn't down yet) and said that teacher was mad at him for leaving without permission. I was thinking "Does she realize that this may be the only time this year that this child is not making me late???"

Heck, I was just so darned proud of him for getting his coat, backpack and folder and not stopping to talk to ten people on his way down. According to teacher, when he's bored, he will just get up and start walking the halls, checking on his favorite teachers and hanging out. He's like a little terrier- happy and wandering.

 

[kaffinito]

DisDreaminMom, sometimes I think the teachers just don't "get our kids at all. I got another call from Ben's school this week. Apparently his teachers are upset because he wanders around the classroom and reads when he's supposed to be doing class work. Now I can understand about the wandering, but I'm torn about the reading. He never read anything other than technical manuals and gardening books until the last few months, now he's reading fiction! I never thought he would ever read anything "unreal" and now he's in trouble as school because of it.

As an aside, does anyone else have trouble with their kids and the Christmas Tree?

The oldest wants to have everything organized on the tree according to size, type and color. The tree must be visually balanced or he starts getting upset.

The youngest takes every decoration and puts them on two or three branches. He says that way he can see them better without having to look at the whole tree.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Yesterday I had to pick up the kids right after school to make an appointment on the other side of town. It's easier to walk in the school and pick them up than wait in the car line

I wish this was an option for us...but it's not. You have to sit in the car line to pick up your kids..you can't get out unless you are strapping your child into their seat. And there are parents who STILL this late in the year don't understand which way you're supposed to line up for the car line. They line up in the WRONG DIRECTION and block half the road (which is barely 1 car wide). There are also parents who park on the non-existant shoulder and nearly block the road also which drives me crazy. I will be SO happy when they finally get this road fixed and widen it. But by then..it'll probably be the end of the school year and it won't matter any more.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Yep, just the other morning I was pulling up in the drop off lane, that is an obvious one way, since you would have to drive across traffic to get to it from the other side of the (busy) street. I look down to check what gear the car was in, start to pull forward, since I was the top of the line, and there is a man parked head on right on my bumper! I almost hit him but for a few inches. What the??????

About the Christmas tree thing, a couple of years ago, I had a stunning tree up in the house. DS rearranged that stupid thing every day and did the "all the ornaments on one branch" thing. I was not amused. I just gave up. I guess the tree is for the kids, anyway....

Hey, have any of you dealt with constant hugging? My son ran up to a complete stranger (one of the parents picking up a kid from the after school program) and gave her a huge hug, then took a step back and said "Who are you?" She looked like a nice person, but this is over the top.

I see him hugging teachers all the time, and I hug him (we like hugs!), but when do I start telling him to stop? Just last month, my mother called me to tell me what a sweet child he was for thanking and hugging her neighbor when he took us to the tallest building downtown so DS could see the inside. That's fine when he's 6, but he's a big kid already, and I'm not sure people will want to be hugging a 6'5" linebacker-looking teenager...

For those of you who like hugs

 

[DisDreaminMom]

I almost forgot, today I was at work (I work at the Disney Store) and there was a Special Ed field trip to the mall so the kids could buy Christmas presents for their families. I know sometimes I do the "woe is me" thing, but I sure did count my blessings with every kid that came in. My DS's most complex problem would be a huge accomplishment for some of the kids I helped today. I must say they were the most polite and orderly children in the store all day. So chin up, moms. Somewhere there is a map that must be read, a fan that must be examined, a room that is out of order, or a schedule that must be kept- and our kids are the only hope...

 

[irish dancer]

DisDreamnMom - my DS8 is a HUGE hugger. They actually addressed it as one of his goals in his IEP! They started with requiring him to ask first before he gave anyone a hug. It took a long time but he finally mastered it. Now they've got him down to a limit of 2 hugs a day. When he asks, the teacher will remind him he only has 2 and he usually waits. He gets unlimited hugs at home.

Does anyone else have an issue with their child inviting people over all the time? I guess DS has invited his teachers and therapists from school over for dinner and along with us on vacations all of the time. DD7 told me this summer that while she and DS were riding bikes one day they met some kids down the block and DS invited them for a sleepover . He had never met these children before!

I guess the biggest problem and what scares me the most is that he just has no concept of strangers. They've done Stranger Danger type things in school and he just doesn't get it at all.

 

[mechurchlady]

Irish Dancer can I borrow your son for a day or too as I need some hugs. At least he is hugging instead of running from strangers. I see too many kids online who have no concept of stranger danger. I love reading this thread as it is nice to hear this stories and they make me thankful my mom is not that bad.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Sorry to be a downer, but this is why I worry about the no stranger danger thing. My mother's sister (in her 60's now) is an Aspie. Of course, she was never helped, lived in poverty all her life (by choice, because the family had money but they chose to live on welfare and church handouts and reject help from family-we're talking no plumbing here, folks), married a horribly manipulative man, had 11 kids (yes, 11). A few of her kids are Aspie, too, and one is a therapist who concentrates on Aspergers because of how she saw their mother live.

Anyway, the youngest child was a beautiful girl, an award winning long distance runner, and very most likely an Aspie (certainly seemed to me during the times I met her). This girl never met a stranger and was very naive. It also didn't help that the family was in the Mormon church, and the kids were all made to get converts for a while (you know, the bike and button down crowd, as I call it). My cousin was 20 and living with her older brother in IN when she disappeared a couple of years ago. They never found her body. Supposedly they have a suspect in custody now, or are working on an indictment, but they won't release the name.

Long, heartbreaking story short- my kids have been drilled since babyhood not to talk to other people they don't know unless it's someone with a police or firefighter uniform on OR someone who "Looks like Mom" (supposedly the safest person to tell when lost in a public place- a sympathetic woman). I even have stopped several "men in uniform" to show my kids what real uniforms look like. I told them flat out that there are mean people who will "put you in a box and not let you out. Unless Mommy and Daddy tell you it's OK, don't talk to anyone you don't know and if you become uncomfortable, then go away no matter what anyone says".

That being said, I see my son gearing up to do the same thing as yours, and I am so grateful we live on a farm with no road access. I would be a nervous wreck in a subdivision. My sister's children are the same age as mine (6 & 8) and they are let run lose in the neighborhood, half the time she doesn't know where they are.

My son has no real "come over and play" friends. We get him together with some other kids every once in a while, but school seems to be enough for him and I wouldn't let him go on a sleepover unless it's with our friends because the mom used to be a special ed teacher and I trust her.

Any suggestions on the stranger thing? My daughter is my son's guard right now- she's the one I trust in these situations. But she won't always be with him...

He's so good at walking up to complete strangers and having a complex conversation but put him in a room with a few kids his age and he's a mess!

 

[Pegasus928]

That is a sad story, and a reminder to all that the society we live in today is not the sort of place where kids can have trust towards strangers. Both our children have a mobile phone each, and we have told them that if for some reason we get seperated, when out shopping for example, then they call us straight away rather than tug on the nearest persons coat and ask for help.

When we moved into our new home a few years ago everyone in our street knew who we were within a day of being there thanks to DS. He has never had an issue going up to people - old and young alike - and making friends. Most of our new neighbours found it funny when we went to introduce ourselves (yes we already know your name, job, next holiday, infectious diseases, allergic reactions - you get the picture).
The thing that I normally get a bit upset about though is that DS is more than happy to approach any new kid in the street and try to make friends, but unfortunaltey there's nothing as cruel as kids and they are normally pretty quick to dismiss him as someone they would rather not know. It's heartbreaking sometimes as he is so desperate to have new friends, and even though they have said they are not interested, in not a very nice way on most occassions, he still keeps on going back and trying.
As for the hugging DS doesnt do it at school or in public, but he is very loving and affectionate around family. He likes nothing more than to lay on the settee and have his back tickled. We dont know where this comes from but it is certainly one of 'his things'.

 

[BeckyScott]

Oldest DS used to be really bad about answering the door but not telling us.

I remember once I was in the bathroom, and I came out and the Tool Man was standing in our living room. DH was a mechanic and this is the Tool Man in the big truck. The Tool Man felt a bit awkward being let into the house by a child, so he stayed right by the door. But DS just went back to his computer game and left him there and didn't come get me.

Fortunately, it really was the tool man, and I knew him. DS got quite a lecture. And he said, of course, that the tool man was wearing the tool shirt and driving the tool truck, so he wasn't a stranger. Ugh! I know he isn't, but #1 tell me when someone's knocking please (gee, at least I was dressed when I walked into the room!) and #2 he doesn't need to be making the call on who's a stranger and who isn't.

I also remember once there were salespeople at our door, or maybe religious people, and they had a little girl with them, and DS invited her in to play. I said no no no, and he told me that "bad people" don't have little kids with them. I see his logic, but still... no no no.

I've finally gotten him to the point that if someone knocks at the door and I don't hear it, he just starts yelling from where he is (usually at the Wii) that someone is at the door and will continue yelling until I go answer it. The problem is that he often talks to the tv when he's playing, so I don't pay too much attention when I hear him, and then our friends end up on the porch for five minutes freezing.