The Finality of Death..

[Dismagic1]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about this but I've been thinking about it more. I'm still young, really young actually. But is anyone else completely freaked out about the finality of dying? Everything just goes dark and ceases to be. Makes me sick thinking about it.

 

[Tinkerbell424]

Yes. I use to always think about that when I was younger. I think it helps though once you accept that you can't escape death.

I am however much more freaked out over the thought of losing someone close to me to death.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Doesn't bother me and it never has. And by that, I don't mean that I'd rather die but if I'm dead, I'm dead. I won't know that I'm dead. One moment I will be, the next moment, I will not.

I get more freaked out about people I love dying or how it will be like for them when I die.

 

[Sparx]

To quote Margaret Houlihan, "It never fails to astonish me. You're alive, you're dead. No drums, no flashing lights, no fanfare. You're just dead."

There is no switch in the human body that turns us on or off. It boggles my mind. Our life is so fragile, depending on dozens and dozens of parts to function correctly. And we are so close (genetically) to animals. Just a few amenio acid sequences differ between us and great apes and in those chromosomal differences you have everyone from Jack the Ripper to Shakespeare to Albert Einstein. Human life is so fragile and delicate but its so fascinating. Our bodies in particular are devastatingly complicated.

Eternity is too much for my mind to fully comprehend, but I always wonder what the time after death is like. I'm not incredibly religious and I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I don't believe that we just cease to exist. This cannot be all that we have. I think that our lives continue on elsewhere in a different way. I don't think the afterlife is a reward or a punishment, just a continuation of yourself.

That was long and rambling, but this isn't a topic I can be really concise about.

Thomas Edison's last words were, "Its very beautiful over there." I don't know where there is, but I hope its somewhere and I hope its beautiful.

 

[S. C.]

I was with my Father in Law when he took his last breath and he had a smile on his face.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I feel awkward answering this at this moment because the next two posts are from DISers who just lost, respectively, and uncle and a mother, but... no, I don't. I don't think about it. I will die someday, and then I will be dead. I won't know once I'm gone; I don't believe in an afterlife. There simply won't be any "me" any more, just the memory of me.

 

[Dismagic1]

I feel awkward answering this at this moment because the next two posts are from DISers who just lost, respectively, and uncle and a mother, but... no, I don't. I don't think about it. I will die someday, and then I will be dead. I won't know once I'm gone; I don't believe in an afterlife. There simply won't be any "me" any more, just the memory of me.

Please no comments on afterlife. I don't want this to turn into a religious debate and then be closed. Let's keep this on our mortal lives here on Earth.

 

[tennisfan]

Doesn't bother me and it never has. And by that, I don't mean that I'd rather die but if I'm dead, I'm dead. I won't know that I'm dead. One moment I will be, the next moment, I will not.

I get more freaked out about people I love dying or how it will be like for them when I die.

I totally agree with this statement I'm an EMT so i'm used to dealing with dead people. It no longer scares me

 

[sunnyday123]

It scares the bejeezus out of me. I think partly because I've witnessed both my Grandfathers dying and they weren't especially peacefull. My grandfather on my mothers side died of lymphnoma and hospice described it as basically suffocating to death and my other grandfather died of organ failure. They both fought it till the end.

 

[Robinrs]

I feared it when I was younger, I look forward to it now.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about this but I've been thinking about it more. I'm still young, really young actually. But is anyone else completely freaked out about the finality of dying? Everything just goes dark and ceases to be. Makes me sick thinking about it.

Please no comments on afterlife. I don't want this to turn into a religious debate and then be closed. Let's keep this on our mortal lives here on Earth.

Unfortunately, without a belief or faith in some kind of afterlife, there is only the freaked out, sick and hopeless feeling that you are describing, which I cannot relate to therefore I can be absolutely no comfort to you whatsoever except for this: if you really believe that everything goes dark and ceases to be, then how will you really mourn the loss of your life? You aren't there to mourn it because you're gone. Feel better?

Personally, I feel death is merely a part of this life and I have nothing to fear from it. I may fear a long, drawn-out death of this body, years of living in pain and sickness before it eventually happens, but the final act of leaving doesn't really bother me. As far as I'm concerned, dying will be as easy as being born was.

Once this body gives up the ghost, I go on to the next "life", whatever that "life" may be. I place as much value on what comes next as I do on what I'm experiencing right here, right now. The only thing I take with me when this body dies is what I learned during this particular experience.

To quote Braveheart, "Death comes to us all". The mere belief that we can actually prevent that which is going to happen anyway sometimes makes me chuckle.

But you're young. Give yourself a few decades and try not to think about it so much. As you age and gather more experiences, you'll come to accept death (or the death of this human body) a with a bit more comfort.

 

[luvsJack]

I do not fear it nor do I look forward to it. It is a part of this life and is necessary to get on with the next part. I won't debate it here but I believe having or not having a fear of dying all has to do with your personal beliefs.

 

[rotlex]

Please no comments on afterlife. I don't want this to turn into a religious debate and then be closed. Let's keep this on our mortal lives here on Earth.

Without thoughts of an afterlife, why would one be concerned about death at all? If you believe that once you die, the lights simply go out, as going to sleep, there is nothing to fear, or look forward too. Just darkness, and loss of everything, but hey, your dead, you won't know it.

On the other hand, without getting religious, as I'm well aware it's not allowed here, let's just say I do not fear death, any longer, but rather enjoy speculating on what is to come, and whether or not I'll be worthy of it.

What I do fear, as someone else said, is the death of a loved one. This is not a fear for them, but rather a fear for my own suffering that will\would be caused by their passing. Selfish? Yes, of course, however, I also consider suffering as a test, and a way to prepare myself for what is to eventually come.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think it must be horrible to feel that way, very scary. Personally, I don't fear passing on, not one teensy little bit & I hope I can give that gift to both of my kids. Although I've never felt that fear I do feel genuine sadness for those who are afraid... it must be terrible because death is inevitable and if you are fearful there is no buffer.

For me, the only source of anxiety that comes from mortality is the idea that I wouldn't be able to reach out and care for the people I love the way I do now. My DH needs support & my kids need guidance, if I'm not around to give it will anyone else be up to the job? It's my ONLY worry...

I do hope you find something to give you solace about this issue

 

[bicker]

I recently took a seminar at my church based on Rev. Forrest Church's book, Love and Death: My Journey through the Valley of the Shadow, written after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The book and seminar were immensely enlightening and supportive with regard to my own views of death and dying. I highly recommend it.

 

[Jennasis]

Don't be afraid. I have it on good authority that death is not the end.

 

[bas71873]

I never did until about a month ago.....I am almost 37 years old, in great health (or so I thought), very active (I go the gym daily and then chase a very active 6 year old around), eat right, etc. I started having some shortness of breath issues and given that there's a history of heart disease on my dad's side of the family, I made an appt. with a cardiologist. Better safe than sorry right? Well, after all the bloodwork & testing, I learn that not only in my bad cholesterol off the charts, but my iron is very low (so I'm on meds for that for the rest of my life). Then the echo test initially showed a leaking valve (talk about scared to death....my life flashed before my eyes), but thankfully, after further evaluation, it was determined that the valve is not leaking, but it is "floppy" as the dr. described and will just need to be monintored. The stress test came back fine last week, thankfully.

But, after all that, my point is, I never thought about death until now. And having a young child just scared me to death. I cried for a month straight (or so if felt) and I just kept going through all the things that I could miss with DD. I was so scared. I've gotten over that and realize that stressing over it every day isn't going to help, but I've learned to not sweat the small stuff, let things go and just LIVE.

To top it off, my beloved granny, who I have been close to all my life, lived with her for a few months last year when we moved from LA to VA and waiting for our house to be ready, died suddenly of heart attack on Monday. This lady was the picture of good health. She even did her thing at Curves 3x/week (probably more socializing than excersizing, but hey, she's out of the house right?). She had no symptoms, had been fine and as heartless and this sounds, just dropped dead on Monday afternoon. We are all numb and in shock. It's how she wanted to go, fast and painless, but I was NOT ready for her to go (yes I realize she was 86, but I'm not ready).

But OP, I think you need to find a way to let the fear of death go. I don't think it's a good thing to stress over it. Easier said than done, I get that. I wish you well!

 

[bored]

I don't fear it at all. My existence will only get better after death!

 

[sunlver]

Im glad this topic was posted. I think about this a lot as well. When I was younger, it never really freaked me out. I mean,yes, I know we all die some day, I just never really thought much into it.

I am 45 now, and for the last 5 yrs or so , the thought of dying scares me.. I mean again I know we all die. I have 3 kids, and the thought of not being with them , seeing them, touching them...well it just puts me into anxiety mode. Of course, they will grow up and be adults, but they still will always be my babies..

I dont want to see anybody die, my parents are in their mid 70's, and I dread the phone call in the future when something happens to one fo them. I know people say you should live in the here and now, and that is realisiic in one sense..but for me.. I cant help by think ahead. Somedays are better then others.. When I am sick or have something I dont know what it is, I swear I am dying...and when I am all better then its not so much consuming me..As I get older, it just scares me more and more.

 

[Pigeon]

Nope, it's kind of a circle of life thing for me. You're born, you live, you die. You "live on," as it were, only in the hearts of the people who have known you.

The only thing I worry about is dying before my kids are all grown, and I worry for them, not for me. I'm a cancer survivor.

I don't believe in any afterlife, but that doesn't bother me in the least.