# A difficult confession



## Rockbro

So... Hi.

I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.

I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace. 

I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


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## Donna3271

Rockbro,
YOU GOT THIS! You are stronger than you think. You are so brave in taking such a huge step to confide in us. I am sending you virtual hugs!!!


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## SL6827

You need professional help.  No shame what so ever in getting that.  Please do so.


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## Cowgirl_Jessie

Recognizing and admitting are a huge first step.  I would suggest speaking with a doctor about managing withdrawals and find an AA meeting (several friends who swear by them) ASAP.  You can do this!


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## DL1WDW2

Rockbro I am sending you hope for your future. My husband was not able to survive a heart attack at a very young age due to daily drinking. 
He was very good at hiding his health problems. I guess alcohol was a source of his self denial that masked his problems. Everyday I think of what he is missing because he should not have died at such a young age.
Please make the choice to stay alive. Disney is just one of many of the things you will miss. I hope you have friends or family to give you love.


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## CarMerLaur

DL1WDW2 said:


> Rockbro I am sending you hope for your future. My husband was not able to survive a heart attack at a very young age due to daily drinking.
> He was very good at hiding his health problems. I guess alcohol was a source of his self denial that masked his problems. Everyday I think of what he is missing because he should not have died at such a young age.
> Please make the choice to stay alive. Disney is just one of many of the things you will miss. I hope you have friends or family to give you love.


You're very brave to admit and acknowledge you're an alcoholic. That's the important first step.  Go online and look up treatment places.  You will NEVER regret getting help. But you will regret avoiding g help.  There are ways to get through the first few days of withdrawal. And then everyday you will feel better.  Do it!!! It will be the best gift to yourself!  I'll say a Prayer for you tonight.  But you need to get professional help.  A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Take that step tomorrow morning.  Please.  xoxo
You'll never regret it.


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## DL1WDW2

I just googled What can I drink instead of alcohol? 
surprised to find there is a lot of advice and info within a few minutes reading online. 
Maybe you will discover your struggle will inspire somebody else tonight. To search for the strength To overcome a problem . 
I think you are not alone because of the daily fears and unbelievable stress. Let’s keep the conversation alive .


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## ShannyMcB

All the best to you. Please seek medical advice for the first days then any form of a support system for the days following. I have heard AA even online is wonderful. As are many other similar organizations which I am sure a medical professional could recommend.
And these boards can supplement all you learn from professionals.  Community is so important especially now.


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## LovesTimone

Wishing for you to find your way... Praying for you to have the strength, and perseverance to push through all this... While not a easy task... By coming here and saying it out loud... you have made the first step... now just one step at a time...then another step...  

Call your doctor immediately, find a AA meetings, and go.... daily if you have to at first... perhaps professional counseling,  - 
Clean out your house, all the booze has to go... then clean your house,  starting fresh, new beginnings.... 
Talk to your friends tell them, if they are your true friends they will support you, and will be there for you.... You will lose some along the way, and you will gain new ones.... Staying away from friends that drinking or partying...not saying to stop being friends just distance your self or see them in a different setting... like having lunch or at the gym, instead of dinner and drinks, or happy hour... Hit the gym, walk, exercise, both physically and mentally... stay away from activities were you drink at... 
Maybe find a church, not pushing religion just a suggestion. 
Change your routine, change how you drive to and from work, move your furniture around, create new patterns...
Volunteer, donate to charity..  
Find a hobby, or some interesting that keeps you engaged! 
Save the money daily that you would spend on drinking...Disney Vacation fund...  

A very good friend of ours stopped drinking about 6+ years ago... and he had a BBQ to celebrate 5 years sober... and he said that the first week physically was hard, however the hardest part is afterward holding himself accountable every day not to drink...As well realizing that he had to take responsibility for the years he was drinking... and the casualties of what drinking cost him, his wife and kids, family... trying to repair the damage he did, and excepting the outcome... He has changed his whole life, and got married last year to a wonderful woman.   

All the things above are what he did to climb out... he said by keeping busy mentally and physically it helped him focus on the goal... 


There is alot of information out there for you.. We are here and cheering for you!...


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## Karin1984

From a daughter of a man who died a recovering alcoholic, congratulations on taking the first step and saying it outloud. 

It's not going to be easy. In all honesty, there will be times that you fall of the wagon. That is going to happen and something you have to make peace with and be aware of. Compare it to losing weight. No one loses 100 pounds in a straight line. But eventhough it will be difficult and there will be bumps in the road, it will be worth it in the end. 

Also good to keep in mind, there is not one way to recovery. You have to find what kind of therapy is good for you, and you might not find the right one on your first attempt. Give each method you try a fair chance (don't give up after the first day), if after a while it appears that a method isn't right for you, then that's not failure on your part. You have to find what matches your need. Same again as with losing weight, some diets work for some people. 

Start with your GP and ask where you can go in your neighbourhood. 

Good luck, and hang in there.


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## Rockbro

Thank you all, for your kind words. Someday, this thing is going to beat me, but if I try, I can put it off as long as possible. I'm 42, been drinking for 31.5 years.

Advice: If you're a new drinker, feeling as if you "need" it, stop now. I'm not perfect, but I do have some wisdom. There's what is called a "tipping point." It's when you are beyond repair. But not everyone has to get to it. I don't think I'm there yet. I still have ambition and pride.

I'm no-one to give advice on this, but if I can save one life, this is worth it. I spent my life saving lives... this is the most important.


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## Rockbro

I have 2 hours.

I'll report back.


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## Cowgirl_Jessie

2 hours until your doctor appointment?


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## Navisongtalker

As a fellow drinker (once a drinker always a drinker, they say) i can tell you you've got this, rockbro.

i have been sober for over seven years now, with a couple relapses in there. Trust me i was bad off too. I used to get panic attacks when i didnt have alcohol in the freezer on a friday that assured i didnt feel saturday and sunday.

But 1) dont feel embarrassed to confess to a love of disney and if it helps you it helps you! I am obsessed with sonic the hedgehog and have been since youth. So the new movie has been a repeated godsend of therapy that helps me battle depression. Legend of zelda does the same thing for me. And phantom of the opera! heck and disney!! We all have coping mechanisms we have put into place to help us out and we shouldnt feel shame for them. Im an adult that has a bed fullnof sonic plushies because i like to cuddle em, they help me in ways talk therapy doesnt.

this journey is yours and you shouldnt feel bad or embarrassed or shy about what helps to drive you to being a better you. I will say, 4 days and your half out of the woods. 4 weeks is the most fragile state and liable to relapse. Be sure to have SOMEBODY you can call in case you get the urge.

remember youre doing this for you: and you are worth it.

best of luck and if you ever need to chat to keep your mind off of it, pm me here and we can figure something out. :3




Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


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## Rockbro

So, I'm up to around 8 hours. The aching and restless legs have set in. Another 36 hours and I'll be me again  I want to sleep through this, but insomnia is the next step.


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## Rockbro

And, if I post a lot, I apologize. Withdrawals are painful and it helps to talk.


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## Rockbro

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this, as it might be considered an advertisement, but but wife is out of state and sent me a link. It is Demi Lovato "Sober."


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## Rockbro

I have one hour and 6 minutes until I can recover from the long relapse. I'm not sure why, but I feel strong this time. But, also know this thing is lurking. 

Thank you all for your support.


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## Boopuff

Best of luck, you can do this!


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## Rockbro

59 minutes... it may not seem like a lot of time. What can you do in 59 minutes?

You can watch an hour long TV show or 2 half hour longs (including commercials). You can take your dogs for a walk, clean a part of the house. You can shower and shave. You can think about the past, the present, the future. 

Or, you can type aimlessly waiting for those 59 minutes to disappear.

Almost there. Down to 56.


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## wishing4PA

That's fine, you remember Dory says just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Just keep doing whatever -- there's got to be something good on TV, or something. 
We're pulling for you.


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## Rockbro

1 DAY


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## Carol_

One day at a time!


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## Rockbro

Not sure how active I'll be in this thread, but to all that replied, thanks. I wouldn't have made it through today sober without your words of support. 

Pete Werner would be proud.

Now I just have to figure out a way to make as much money as he does, I'll be a complete man! I'm thinking that I might create a Disney forum, travel company, sell a mask here and there, do a podcast, and have a candle company sponsor all of this. 

I figure I should be 100% up and running by 8AM.


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## Donna3271

YOU GOT THIS BUDDY!!! So proud of you~ We are all thinking of you and praying for you!!!


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## lisaburnsmiles

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


Hi, as a fellow alcoholic, I’m praying that you find your way to recovery.  Happy to share with you what has worked for me.


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## mgarbowski

I didn't post beforehand but I got rather emotional reading your countdown.    God bless and good luck.


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## Rockbro

I got very lucky. After drinking for more years than I care to remember (or, should I say CAN remember ) I've relapsed hundreds of times. I've been through the worst of withdrawals. It is a crapshoot as to what the severity will be. Some are absolutely terrible and some just don't happen.

I avoided the sweats this time. The insomnia was there, but I was able to get some sleep. The aching subsided fairly quickly. The worst of it right now is the shaking in my hands and some dizziness. It will ebb and flow, but I'm thankful for the reprieve that I have right now.

Mgarbowski... Countdown #2: Liquor stores close at 8PM. 7 hours and 9 minutes left.

Edited: reprieve, not reprise. Crack an egg "This is your brain on alcohol... any questions?"


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## wishing4PA

Rockbro said:


> I got very lucky. After drinking for more years than I care to remember (or, should I say CAN remember ) I've relapsed hundreds of times. I've been through the worst of withdrawals. It is a crapshoot as to what the severity will be. Some are absolutely terrible and some just don't happen.
> 
> I avoided the sweats this time. The insomnia was there, but I was able to get some sleep. The aching subsided fairly quickly. The worst of it right now is the shaking in my hands and some dizziness. It will ebb and flow, but I'm thankful for the reprise that I have right now.
> 
> Mgarbowski... Countdown #2: Liquor stores close at 8PM. 7 hours and 9 minutes left.


Stay out of the liquor store. There's probably COVID-19 in there.


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## Rockbro

wishing4PA said:


> Stay out of the liquor store. There's probably COVID-19 in there.



No... something even more dangerous. LIQUOR!


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## luvthatmouseinohio

Sending prayers from West Virginia.  Never give up trying!


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## ajanderson84

Keep on keeping on!

As someone who grew up in a super abusive alcoholic parents home, its a soft spot to see people struggle with this. My Mom and Dad were never successful at quitting unfortunately... but now Ive taken in a teenager from the same kind of home, and he was going down the same destructive path, and he's healing, its hard for him, I know it is, but he's already feeling soooo much better than before and I know you will, too. Sending you all the positive vibes, fist bumps, hugs, and tears as needed, but you've got this, you are a rock star, and there are plenty of internet friends on this board cheering you on


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## MaddieB223

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


Sending you hugs! The first step is admitting that you have a problem. I'm proud of you for getting to that first step. Like others here, I suggest seeing a professional or maybe attending an AA meeting if you are comfortable.


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## Chloe-bloom

For what it’s worth this total stranger is proud of you for admitting you have a problem and seeking help and support. I wish you every success in getting your life together and I’ll be thinking of you


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## jbehr12

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.




Want to quit altogether? Go to Disney and only bring $6 for a drink. You’ll be dry for days.

Just kidding, and for real congrats on taking the right steps to improve yourself.


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## Rockbro

jbehr12 said:


> Want to quit altogether? Go to Disney and only bring $6 for a drink. You’ll be dry for days.
> 
> Just kidding, and for real congrats on taking the right steps to improve yourself.



I can find a partially-discarded bud light for $6 if I beg and plead and dumpster-dive!

Thank you.


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## Rockbro

Instead of making this all doom and gloom and hope.... lets make this thread a little fun.

My first day... "1 little spark of inspiration...."

Someone come up with day 2. You're reply has to have 2 in it, then three.


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## CarMerLaur

Rockbro said:


> Instead of making this all doom and gloom and hope.... lets make this thread a little fun.
> 
> My first day... "1 little spark of inspiration...."
> 
> Someone come up with day 2. You're reply has to have 2 in it, then three.


Keep it going!!! You can do it.  When in doubt, think 222. It helped someone very special and brave.  Whenever you see 222 say I can do it!! 
Very happy for you. 
The best is yet to be!!


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## Rockbro

OK... yeah. The sweats and tears are back. You can't gain the benefits without paying the price. I'll be through three sets of clothing.

This HURTS.


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## Rockbro

If anyone cares

"It's Good to be me" Uncle Kracker

"Flatliner"

"How Bad Can  I Be?" The Lorax

Sorry, if you remember I said this ebbs and flows... I'm in an ebb. Music helps

I thought ebb meant "peaks" Not a good time


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## Rockbro

Edit


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## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> If anyone cares
> 
> "It's Good to be me" Uncle Kracker
> 
> "Flatliner"
> 
> "How Bad Can  I Be?" The Lorax
> 
> Sorry, if you remember I said this ebbs and flows... I'm in an ebb. Music helps
> 
> I thought ebb meant "peaks" Not a good time



I'm sorry. You are correct. They have finitely started. It's difficult typing this as my hands are tremoring. I'm turning to mush I can type too well right now. Im sweating and GOD THIS HURTS  PLEASE don't think Im trolling (I''m doing ,y best to spell and write correctly. The shake are terrible.


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## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> I'm sorry. You are correct. They have finitely started. It's difficult typing this as my hands are tremoring. I'm turning to mush I can type too well right now. Im sweating and GOD THIS HURTS  PLEASE don't think Im trolling (I''m doing ,y best to spell and write correctly. The shake are terrible.



In three days, I'll be me


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## Rockbro

I promise all of you, if you stick with me, I'll prove myself. I'm definitely going through the the worst.

I'll take you through a tour of the limited Disney stuff I have.


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## Dawn T.

I am praying for you, Rockbro.  Please find your way to AA tomorrow.  One day (hour, minute, second)  at a time.


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## Carol_

Just go to an ER. They can manage this with you. They do it all the time. It’ll take the edge off and possibly prevent your death.


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## pahoben

Hang tough bro-you are a rock.


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## Donna3271

Buddy, we are all hanging in with you... Hugs my friend!


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> I promise all of you, if you stick with me, I'll prove myself. I'm definitely going through the the worst.
> 
> I'll take you through a tour of the limited Disney stuff I have.


Looking forward to it!!!Lets see!!!


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## JM23457

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


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## wishing4PA

Now I hate to sleep, but I must. So I am going to say I am looking so "4-ward" to seeing/hearing about your Disney stuff in the morning! (We were on 4, right?) 
4 sure.
4 is the best number there is! Have you ever met a 4 year old and asked the kid how old are you? You'll see the biggest brightest smile in the world with 4 (hopefully!) little fingers held up!
It's been too long since I had a 4 year old. They are just too much fun.
The last time I had one was the first time she went to WDW. I swear we spent an hour watching the sidewalk lights in EPCOT.


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## Rockbro

Sweating now... I thought I was issued compassion  Shaking terrible. No desire to drink. The shaking is the worst.

I know that the best is to come in three days. Three damn days.


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## a1tinkfans

You are BRAVE
You are DOING IT
Youre Worth it!!!!!!  Please.... reach out tonight. Tomorrow HELP is there, people care. 
Praying for you... 
every Minute u push thru 
EVERY minute is worth it!!! 

U are DOING IT!!


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## Rockbro

There may be a lot of typos...

My favorite memory was going to MK in 2007. My aunt took me so many years, but she was "old fashioned." We never stayed on property and I never got to see the parks at night.

I went for the first time when I got a good job with my future wife at night. It was incredible. 

If there are typos, I'm sorry. My hands are not respondigns


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## a1tinkfans

Least fav ride or disappointment?


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## Rockbro

I can't respond to all, my hand are really not following directions. But, thanks. 3 days from now, I'm going to say thank you post videos that I always found helpful.

Again, so sorry for typos.


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## Rockbro

a1tinkfans said:


> Least fav ride or disappointment?



Lest fav ride: Space Mountain (too rough)

Biggest Disappointment: (Space Ranger Spin; aiming stinks)


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## a1tinkfans

Hang in there... YOU GOT THIS.. no need to respond  just know, Sending calming vibes ur way.


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## Rockbro

2 Days

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow.

Edit: I used a word I shouldn't have.


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## Rockbro

No... I think I used that last night.

"DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE."

Any Guesses?


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> No... I think I used that last night.
> 
> "DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE."
> 
> Any Guesses?


Woody?


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> Lest fav ride: Space Mountain (too rough)
> 
> Biggest Disappointment: (Space Ranger Spin; aiming stinks)


My kids always beat me in Space Ranger Spin, also Toy Story Mania. It's so frustrating. my aim stinks too!


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## a1tinkfans

Ur not alone at the game lol. A running joke for us. I love it but am awful at it


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## amandolin

You've come so far!! Keep at it!!

And yes, please tell us more about your Disney likes - especially if it helps!!


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## Rockbro

Donna3271 said:


> Woody?



Mission: Space, as you are teetering on the cliff.


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## Rockbro

I hesitate to get too optimistic, but I think I'm through the worst of it. Shakes will be gone in about a week, but no more sweating or nausea. With my luck, though, God will look upon me as I write this message and strike me with a vengeance that no woman could ever match



Women, please don't be offended. I like women. So much so that I gave up my life for one (married).


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## Rockbro

a1tinkfans said:


> Ur not alone at the game lol. A running joke for us. I love it but am awful at it




My wife got so mad at me a while ago. I don't know how, but I must have hit one of the secret targets in the spin. She beats me every single time, but it scored me 60,000 points. Not only did I kick her in the rump, but my parents (who I had't seen in 2 years due to distance), were in the car behind us.

I'll never forget that day because there was such a HORRIBLE downpour, people were shoved into the giftshop and there was no room to move. The drainage in tomorrowland is terrible. It was a quick exit and I didn't have a chance to show them 7 Dwarves, Splash, Peter Pan.


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## a1tinkfans

You ADDED to ur life by marrying that woman u call wife... who then gave you that child/ren  lol. 
Stay the course but Pls Remember this is a Disease, not a “will” issue, Ask for Help, u deserve that... as does ur family. Best of luck.. rooting for you All.


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> Mission: Space, as you are teetering on the cliff.


You got me! Good one!!!!


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> My wife got so mad at me a while ago. I don't know how, but I must have hit one of the secret targets in the spin. She beats me every single time, but it scored me 60,000 points. Not only did I kick her in the rump, but my parents (who I had't seen in 2 years due to distance), were in the car behind us.
> 
> I'll never forget that day because there was such a HORRIBLE downpour, people were shoved into the giftshop and there was no room to move. The drainage in tomorrowland is terrible. It was a quick exit and I didn't have a chance to show them 7 Dwarves, Splash, Peter Pan.


Well, that's a good excuse to go back! Can't not see 7 Dwarves, PPF and SM!!!


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## Rockbro

Donna3271 said:


> Well, that's a good excuse to go back! Can't not see 7 Dwarves, PPF and SM!!!



Unfortunately, your response in only 66.663% correct. Splash.


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## Rockbro

Here's another one:

What is probably the most infamous use of the word "Disco" among Disney fans.... THINK. I have faith in you!


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## Rockbro

Hey all,

I'm not sure how many of you may suffer/have suffered from addiction, but this thread is keeping me on track. Especially asking all of the stupid Disney trivia. 

I know that, at this point, I'm becoming mawkish, but, thank you all again, there is a high potential that you all may have saved a life. Put that on your resume!

Also... movie quote: "Milk was a bad choice" Anyone?


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> Unfortunately, your response in only 66.663% correct. Splash.


LOL! I thought SM stood for Splash mountain! I stand corrected!


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## Rockbro

Donna3271 said:


> LOL! I thought SM stood for Splash mountain! I stand corrected!



It does... They will someday see Peter Pan, 7D, but not Splash. You were correct in your original assumption


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## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I'm not sure how many of you may suffer/have suffered from addiction, but this thread is keeping me on track. Especially asking all of the stupid Disney trivia.
> 
> I know that, at this point, I'm becoming mawkish, but, thank you all again, there is a high potential that you all may have saved a life. Put that on your resume!
> 
> Also... movie quote: "Milk was a bad choice" Anyone?


OMG!!!! I think I Know this one!!!! Ron Burgundy? Anchorman? Will Ferrell is my FAV!!!!


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## Rockbro

Donna3271 said:


> OMG!!!! I think I Know this one!!!! Ron Burgundy? Anchorman? Will Ferrell is my FAV!!!!



Correct. "Sorry, I was trying to impress you." There is no way I can get into this quote.


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## Rockbro

The old man and his furnace? Think winter. This movie house is actually real and still stands in Ohio.


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## Rockbro

To any of you following, I think it has become pretty obvious that my spirits are lifting. I'm not "there" yet, but I'm feeling at around 70% of who I "really am." 

There is a long road ahead. But, the physical health is getting there. My desire to drink water is back. Eventually, so will be my appetite.

If there is one thing and one thing only that I hope those of you have followed this thread get out of it, it is this:

If you have addiction in your family, please don't look down on that person or those people. This disease is terrible. Honestly, I am so glad that I never fell into drugs (marijuana, cocaine, heroin, etc.) If I had, I have no doubt that I'd be dead by now.

Practice compassion. I don't know why the brain works like it does, but it does.

There are seven levels of hell according to Dante. I refuse to think that you can't climb a ladder to get out of all of them, Even if you have to kick, bite, scratch, and punch.


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## Rockbro

I have #4...

4th Dimension: My Little Pony

You have entered... the Twilight Zone


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## Rockbro

Country music is my favorite... why does every country song HAVE TO have alcohol involved?

Argh

Also,, I did something incredible today. You won't think anything of this, but it means something to me.

My wife is 2000 miles away at a funeral. She called me and said she felt guilty for having a good time with her cousins (funeral for uncle). I was supportive and told her it's OK. A funeral is not just a memorial, but a celebration of life and a time to reconnect.

The "old" me would have been angry and jealous.


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## Rockbro

One of my favorite pictures... while I was fixing the sink, my wife was looking to embarrass me.


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## lovemygoofy

If this is real, you need to very very careful trying to detox yourself off alcohol. I've had to admit more people in the hospital than I can count because they thought they could detox themselves and dry out. If you truly had a drinking problem where you drank to excess every day, you should really consider going to medical professional especially if you are home alone.  Besides my professional job, I found my FIL on the floor 4 years ago after he tried to detox himself AGAIN. He was heavy cheap beer drinker. He needed to sober up to go see his 84 year old mother and when he tried he ended up having seizures and ultimately dying from brain damage.  Trying to sober yourself up and dry out can kill you. Please think about reaching out for medical help and support through this process.


----------



## Rockbro

lovemygoofy said:


> If this is real, you need to very very careful trying to detox yourself off alcohol. I've had to admit more people in the hospital than I can count because they thought they could detox themselves and dry out. If you truly had a drinking problem where you drank to excess every day, you should really consider going to medical professional especially if you are home alone.  Besides my professional job, I found my FIL on the floor 4 years ago after he tried to detox himself AGAIN. He was heavy cheap beer drinker. He needed to sober up to go see his 84 year old mother and when he tried he ended up having seizures and ultimately dying from brain damage.  Trying to sober yourself up and dry out can kill you. Please think about reaching out for medical help and support through this process.



Thank you for the advice. This is real. Unfortunately, our health insurance is not that great. We have to kind of do things on our own.

Again, thanks for the advice and I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes people forget or don't believe that addiction is real.


----------



## Rockbro

If anyone is interested, I'd like to set up a Microsoft "Teams" meeting to talk about all things" Disney and addiction." I have no idea how to do this, but I can try.

If this violates DIS policies, please take the request down. I have nothing to gain from this.


----------



## lovemygoofy

Rockbro said:


> Thank you for the advice. This is real. Unfortunately, our health insurance is not that great. We have to kind of do things on our own.
> 
> Again, thanks for the advice and I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes people forget or don't believe that addiction is real.



I'm very familiar with helping people who do not have great or any health insurance but there are programs and ways to get help. You dying from detox is going to cost lot more than medical bills. Please think about reaching out to local AA at least and getting help and support. They will have the resources to help direct you to sliding scale clinics or at least know you are going through this and can help support you.


----------



## NowIsTheTime

Rockbro said:


> The old man and his furnace? Think winter. This movie house is actually real and still stands in Ohio.


This one has to be "A Christmas Story"


----------



## Rockbro

NowIsTheTime said:


> This one has to be "A Christmas Story"



Doesn't have to be, but it is.


----------



## Rockbro

There are 3 "Rogers" and an "Over." This should say a lot before we land.


----------



## Rockbro

I'm sorry. these things get worse at night. "Wear Sunscreen." Bas Luhrmann"

Edited for bad typos


----------



## Rockbro

Nowisthetime:

"SO, I have that going for me."

If anyone can guess, I'll provide 1.00 toward a mickey bar

Also, the sweats are back, but it's OK. they're not coupled, so no complaints.


----------



## NowIsTheTime

Rockbro said:


> There are 3 "Rogers" and an "Over." This should say a lot before we land.


----------



## NowIsTheTime

Rockbro said:


> I'm sorry. these things get worse at night. "Wear Sunscreen." Bas Luhrmann"
> 
> Edited for bad typos


Romeo + Juliet
If this is correct, it would be the second time in two days it has come up in my life after not being thought of in a decade. Weird


----------



## Rockbro

NowIsTheTime said:


> Romeo + Juliet
> If this is correct, it would be the second time in two days it has come up in my life after not being thought of in a decade. Weird




No, sorry. Youtube the sunscreen song. It is very uplifting.


----------



## ajanderson84

Rockbro said:


> I'm sorry. these things get worse at night. "Wear Sunscreen." Bas Luhrmann"
> 
> Edited for bad typos



I just played that "Song" for my DS who is a senior this year and has to start school online. Its very motivational, and I quite enjoy it.


----------



## Rockbro

I'm 42, don't know what song. Please DM.... the shakes are back!

his is going to be difficult to type:''The best part of The Zone,  was when two ladies sat at a chair at the end of the queue, I knew they were seated there're. for a reason.

They moved after i stARED.

I',M SORRY. Im shaking so much


----------



## Rockbro

I'm going to do my best

I'm a ph.d. student.

I just kept trying. The tremors in my hand hurt. 

I keep tryinging,


----------



## Rockbro

I know I can do better.


----------



## Rockbro

ajanderson84 said:


> I just played that "Song" for my DS who is a senior this year and has to start school online. Its very motivational, and I quite enjoy it.



I can't sleep, but thank you. MAKE HIM WEAR SUNSCREEN!

1 thing left... Shakes. They're going away...

DO you mean senior on HS or college?


----------



## Rockbro

ajanderson84 said:


> I just played that "Song" for my DS who is a senior this year and has to start school online. Its very motivational, and I quite enjoy it.



You just made me feel so good about myself that I could make an impact.

Thank you.


----------



## NowIsTheTime

Rockbro said:


> No, sorry. Youtube the sunscreen song. It is very uplifting.


Yes, that’s the one I meant!
In it, Baz used “Everybody’s Free,” which shows up in his Romeo + Juliet movie.


----------



## NowIsTheTime

Rockbro said:


> Nowisthetime:
> 
> "SO, I have that going for me."
> 
> If anyone can guess, I'll provide 1.00 toward a mickey bar
> 
> Also, the sweats are back, but it's OK. they're not coupled, so no complaints.


Caddyshack!


----------



## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> You just made me feel so good about myself that I could make an impact.
> 
> Thank you.






Rockbro said:


> You just made me feel so good about myself that I could make an impact.
> 
> Thank you.


----------



## Rockbro

Pretty good sure as you're born.

I made it. The worst of the worst. I made it through the briar patch. 

Thank you all for your kind words and inspiration. For all who posted... this would not have happened without you and my wife. 

Now, I just want to force my *** of a brain to sleep and my *** fingers to stop shaking.

But again, thank you all. THANK YOU ALL.


----------



## Rockbro

I just want to say one last thing, and please excuse my typing.. there are stills shakes.

We can a be a bunch of jerks when we disagree, but I've seen the best of all of you. The best comes out when the worst comes out. And when we need one another, we are there.

You're a bunch of fine jerks.  Carry on.

Oh, now that I'm healthy... my name is Sean. Wow wow wow (figment) an Irish drunk! Yep, Make a mean corned beef and cabbage and my favorite dinner is either fish and chips or bangers and mash at Rose and Crown. I'm a living, walking stereotype.

Thank you for all accepting me and listening through my whining.

I can't believe this went 6 pages!! Though 4 of them were probably me.

For all of you going to Disney in the next days/weeks/months/, stay safe and have fun. And, also, know that all of you have helped me in sobriety. I am forever in your debt.

Just don't ask for debt compensation.


----------



## Buttcracker

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.



My father was a career alcoholic.  It cost him everything and eventually his life.  As a kid I went through three medical rehab programs with him.  He is the reason I grew up in a single parent home, was on foodstamps, endured both physical & mental abuse, never knew what it was like to wake up Christmas morning with a Daddy there, and only dreamed about being able to visit WDW.  With all that suck-it made me who I am today-and I' wouldn't change it.  I'm extremely happy.  Right before he died he had about 24 months of sobriety-because he was physically not able to buy alcohol and we were able to reconcile.  While I love loves these boards the internet is not going to help you in the way you need help.  I know people poke fun at 12 step programs but you need that.  someone that understands you, holds you accountable, and you are able to address your spiritual needs.  

-I hate to be harsh but I've heard these kind of statements all my life.   Words are words you need to take action-and get medical help.


----------



## Magnum_PI

Hey man, I hope you're still hanging in there.  I saw you say you're a PhD student, what field are you studying?

I'll say this, if you can stick to sobriety, you'll get through your dissertation like it's cake.  Everything else will seem easy by comparison, lol.  Please consider the advice above about medical help when it's an option and 12 steps (which costs nothing).  Good luck.


----------



## ajanderson84

Rockbro said:


> I can't sleep, but thank you. MAKE HIM WEAR SUNSCREEN!
> 
> 1 thing left... Shakes. They're going away...
> 
> DO you mean senior on HS or college?



He is a Senior in High School for the 2020-2021 school year. They start school delayed in Sept and completely online, so he was feeling a little down himself and needed a "pick me up". He thought "Wear Sunscreen" was interesting, but a little outdated "Who reads beauty magazines anymore?" he said to me. I had to remind him while the internet may have overtaken paper print the principal is the same.


----------



## Rockbro

ajanderson84 said:


> He is a Senior in High School for the 2020-2021 school year. They start school delayed in Sept and completely online, so he was feeling a little down himself and needed a "pick me up". He thought "Wear Sunscreen" was interesting, but a little outdated "Who reads beauty magazines anymore?" he said to me. I had to remind him while the internet may have overtaken paper print the principal is the same.



That's funny


----------



## Rockbro

Magnum_PI said:


> Hey man, I hope you're still hanging in there.  I saw you say you're a PhD student, what field are you studying?
> 
> I'll say this, if you can stick to sobriety, you'll get through your dissertation like it's cake.  Everything else will seem easy by comparison, lol.  Please consider the advice above about medical help when it's an option and 12 steps (which costs nothing).  Good luck.



While I don't like to give too much up about myself, I'm in the social sciences... yeah, not a "real science" according to those in the hard sciences. 

I went to an AA meeting last night.


----------



## Magnum_PI

Rockbro said:


> While I don't like to give too much up about myself, I'm in the social sciences... yeah, not a "real science" according to those in the hard sciences.
> 
> I went to an AA meeting last night.



Anyone who says social science isn't real science is confused about what the scientific method is. 

Glad to hear you went to a meeting, wishing you much continued success!


----------



## Piglet843

Rockbro said:


> While I don't like to give too much up about myself, I'm in the social sciences... yeah, not a "real science" according to those in the hard sciences.
> 
> I went to an AA meeting last night.


I've been following along since your first post - but I just don't have the witty humor you do to even try to chime in  
I just wanted to tell you I am proud of you for going to an AA meeting.
I can't imagine how difficult it was to take your self there, and commit to walking in and taking that step.
Kudos man...  You are an inspiration to anyone with an addiction (of any kind)


----------



## Rockbro

Piglet843 said:


> I've been following along since your first post - but I just don't have the witty humor you do to even try to chime in
> I just wanted to tell you I am proud of you for going to an AA meeting.
> I can't imagine how difficult it was to take your self there, and commit to walking in and taking that step.
> Kudos man...  You are an inspiration to anyone with an addiction (of any kind)



Thank you. But, according to my wife, it is not witty humor. It's being something I'm not allowed to say here. Still, I amuse myself


----------



## Rockbro

OK... this one is obscure, and if you can guess it, you deserve to buy yourself a lobster dinner with all accoutrements, followed by the special coffee at Vicki & Al's and dessert at a popcorn stand (your choice). This will be fully funded by uhhhh... you.

This is an indirect Disney mention. It is not from a Disney movie, but it is from an affiliated TV show. Hint: ABC network:

"I've been a lion before, and it's a tough gig. Everyone expects you to be king"

This is not exact, but close enough... TV show name and character?

If I made it through withdrawals, you can think of this answer without Google. Google is cheating!


----------



## DisTXMom

Wishing you strength, comfort and encourage as you walk this difficult path.  My mom was never able to win this battle and I sincerely hope you can   This is something only you can do for yourself.  It isn’t something others can ask of you and not something you can do for(to please) others. The hooks in you by alcoholism are strong and it takes you at your core wanting this for yourself and your future.  Praying you can find enough love for yourself to know you deserve a life without this pain. To know you are worthy of a better life.  All the best..


----------



## Rockbro

DisTXMom said:


> Wishing you strength, comfort and encourage as you walk this difficult path.  My mom was never able to win this battle and I sincerely hope you can ❤  This is something only you can do for yourself.  It isn’t something others can ask of you and not something you can do for(to please) others. The hooks in you by alcoholism are strong and it takes you at your core wanting this for yourself and your future.  Praying you can find enough love for yourself to know you deserve a life without this pain. To know you are worthy of a better life.  All the best..



Thank you.


----------



## Rockbro

Took my two dogs for a walk today. I haven't been active in WAY too long. I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym maybe tomorrow. I'm not overweight by any means, but I used to be pretty fit (Time takes a toll).

AA meeting at 1900 hours. Wife gets home from a weeklong work trip at 2100.

Life is so much better sober, but the alcoholic mind makes you want otherwise.

2 bonus questions:

"Don't you dare close your eyes" (Movie, character(s)?)

The most prolific Disney composers (I have two in mind).

Edit: I haven't paid out. I owe $1 toward a Mickey bar for a correct answer. I'm like a bad, unethical blackjack dealer.


----------



## Rockbro

edit


----------



## Arielfan98

Hi there,

Absolutely no judgement from me. I'm not an alcoholic, but I have worked alongside them because I suffer from my own mental health issues. I went to two different inpatient rehab programs and what I learned is that drinking is essentially a form of avoidance, a maladaptive behavior to cope with something. I encourage you to seek out whatever resources you have and please just know you're not alone. I'm so proud of you for taking this step and admitting it by posting it on here. Thank you for staying with us.

--Alex


----------



## a1tinkfans

Just thinking of u OP! Hope today is Another Good day... one minute, one hour, one day. 
This disease is Strong but YOU are stronger!  
Keep Putting The AA work In and Good Luck!


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Took my two dogs for a walk today. I haven't been active in WAY too long. I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym maybe tomorrow. I'm not overweight by any means, but I used to be pretty fit (Time takes a toll).
> 
> AA meeting at 1900 hours. Wife gets home from a weeklong work trip at 2100.
> 
> Life is so much better sober, but the alcoholic mind makes you want otherwise.
> 
> 2 bonus questions:
> 
> "Don't you dare close your eyes" (Movie, character(s)?)
> 
> The most prolific Disney composers (I have two in mind).
> 
> Edit: I haven't paid out. I owe $1 toward a Mickey bar for a correct answer. I'm like a bad, unethical blackjack dealer.


Aladdin?

menken and Sherman?

following you along-I wish you all the best!!!


----------



## Rockbro

Arielfan98 said:


> Hi there,
> 
> Absolutely no judgement from me. I'm not an alcoholic, but I have worked alongside them because I suffer from my own mental health issues. I went to two different inpatient rehab programs and what I learned is that drinking is essentially a form of avoidance, a maladaptive behavior to cope with something. I encourage you to seek out whatever resources you have and please just know you're not alone. I'm so proud of you for taking this step and admitting it by posting it on here. Thank you for staying with us.
> 
> --Alex



I don't have it I'm getting it.


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Aladdin?
> 
> menken and Sherman?
> 
> following you along-I wish you all the best!!!



Jasmine and Adladdin... on the carpet. Aladdin singing.


----------



## Rockbro

Nobody even tried!

The lion king quote was from Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He climbed under a tent and said this. He was the voice of Simba. This was an episode of "Home Improvement" owned by ABC and the Disney Corp.

"I played a lion"


----------



## Rockbro

Hey, by the way since we are having fun, lets shift:

Most desired disney occupation?

I know so much useless Disney stuff. I'd love to be a plaid.


----------



## Rockbro

My wife comes home in 3 hours. Further strength awaits!


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Jasmine and Adladdin... on the carpet. Aladdin singing.


Ooh I KNOW EXACTLY who when and where on that one. I have an autistic 5 yo and 3 (as of today) yo. Aladdin is currently heavy in the rotation. The 3yo is currently flipping over a small rug in the house so she can be pulled around on the “magic carpet” while singing a whole new world


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Ooh I KNOW EXACTLY who when and where on that one. I have an autistic 5 yo and 3 (as of today) yo. Aladdin is currently heavy in the rotation. The 3yo is currently flipping over a small rug in the house so she can be pulled around on the “magic carpet” while singing a whole new world



Happy Birthday, Buddy.


----------



## Rockbro

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

AGAIN... no Google cheating!


----------



## Rockbro

Hey, after this, would someone else like trying?


----------



## Rockbro

I really REALLY want to give the Lion quote answer away, but I REALLY want someone to get it.

On a side note, I REALLY am looking to forwarward to seeing  my wife  after 5 days.

You don't don't know what you have until you've missed it...m3 hours.


----------



## Rockbro

Hey.. going on this note,

How many Disney movies have been based on the loss of a father?

Very easy answer.


----------



## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> Took my two dogs for a walk today. I haven't been active in WAY too long. I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym maybe tomorrow. I'm not overweight by any means, but I used to be pretty fit (Time takes a toll).
> 
> AA meeting at 1900 hours. Wife gets home from a weeklong work trip at 2100.
> 
> Life is so much better sober, but the alcoholic mind makes you want otherwise.
> 
> 2 bonus questions:
> 
> "Don't you dare close your eyes" (Movie, character(s)?)
> 
> The most prolific Disney composers (I have two in mind).
> 
> Edit: I haven't paid out. I owe $1 toward a Mickey bar for a correct answer. I'm like a bad, unethical blackjack dealer.





ok... answers:

1) Aladdin and Jasmine

2) Alan Menkin and "X" Attencio

YOU ALL LOSE!!


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Hey, after this, would someone else like trying?


“You came back” -person 1 

“I came home” - person 2


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> “You came back” -person 1
> 
> “I came home” - person 2



I have no idea.... I want to google this, but it would be cheating!


----------



## Rockbro

I think I made it. I seriously want to cry.

I was sure that you alll thought I was a troll. Thank you for your the kind words.

Last night st AA, I was able to help a 20 year old.

Yes shakes a are here. won't go away.

But, I took my disease and helped.


----------



## DL1WDW2

Crying might be a healthy release. I sometimes cry in the shower and it helps for many things. 
I promise to keep you in my thoughts .


----------



## Rockbro

a1tinkfans said:


> Just thinking of u OP! Hope today is Another Good day... one minute, one hour, one day.
> This disease is Strong but YOU are stronger!
> Keep Putting The AA work In and Good Luck!



I don't know of if I should be apologizing, but I'm crying. Thanks


----------



## Rockbro

I never knew about Eyore before I met my wife. I never knew about his tail.


The shaking is so bad, I wouldn't have a tail.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> I have no idea.... I want to google this, but it would be cheating!


I made a mistake!
“You came back” - animal 

“I came home”- person


----------



## wishing4PA

Rebma512 said:


> I made a mistake!
> “You came back” - animal
> 
> “I came home”- person


That sounds SO familiar. 
Hmm, maybe Tarzan? 
No, that doesn't seem right, but I know I've heard this one.


----------



## mdsouth

I just want to say I just  read through this entire thread all at once since I just found it today.  I commend you OP for admitting your struggle and working hard to overcome it!  You can do it and you are so right, the DIS here is a great place to just come and talk to others, and share our Disney love with each other as a form of stress relief.  
I am very fortunate in that my own childhood and my adulthood I have not had any direct connection/experience dealing with the overuse of alcohol and the effects of it on that person or others.  I just saw your title and then your heartfelt post and you drew me in.  I am praying for you.   And will just be here to help you by chatting about Disney things.  But I am a morning person and so I will most likely not be awake during the times at night when you most need us to help keep you mind occupied.  I hope there will be others here on the Dis who find this thread who will be here in the night to keep you company.  

For now, the one quote, "You came back" I think is from Beauty and the Beast when the Beast says it to Beauty when she returns to him.


----------



## mdsouth

I have a quote for you, OP and others!

"If you are scared, just be scarier than whatever is scaring you."


----------



## Rebma512

wishing4PA said:


> That sounds SO familiar.
> Hmm, maybe Tarzan?
> No, that doesn't seem right, but I know I've heard this one.


You got it! Over the past few years hearing Disney movies playing...I’ve found there’s actually quite a few movies That say “you came back” in them


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> My wife comes home in 3 hours. Further strength awaits!


How goes it today? 
did your lovely lady make it home?


----------



## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> I never knew about Eyore before I met my wife. I never knew about his tail.
> 
> 
> The shaking is so bad, I wouldn't have a tail.




Eeyo


mdsouth said:


> I have a quote for you, OP and others!
> 
> "If you are scared, just be scarier than whatever is scaring you."


 It's probably wrong, but is this Monsters Inc.?


----------



## Rockbro

The wife is home, the shakes are still there, but feeling a lot better.


----------



## Rockbro

hmmm... a "prickly pear" may refer to this movie or character.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> hmmm... a "prickly pear" may refer to this movie or character.


Jungle book?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Jungle book?



I'm ashamed of myself... that was too easy.


----------



## Rockbro

Ok... I have to atone for my leniency in the last question. This has nothing to do with any Disney movie, character, or show. But, it was an ABC sitcom (Disney now owns ABC), but it was cancelled and brough back years later by FOX (interestingly, another recent Disney owned company). It is now back on the air.

Think: Mandy, Eve, and "Baxter Out"

This question is a 10 of the difficulty scale.


----------



## Ccstctc




----------



## mdsouth

Rockbro said:


> Eeyo
> It's probably wrong, but is this Monsters Inc.?


The quote - "If you are scared, just be scarier than whatever is scaring you." 
No, it is not Monsters Inc.  But it is from an animated movie.


----------



## wishing4PA

There's no way I'd get the ABC show.
But yay for Tarzan! 
It's been a while -- are you hanging in there? No Tarzan pun intended.


----------



## crazylady

Rockbro said:


> hmmm... a "prickly pear" may refer to this movie or character.



Last Man Standing - Mike Baxter (Tim Allen)

How did you do today?


----------



## Rockbro

wishing4PA said:


> There's no way I'd get the ABC show.
> But yay for Tarzan!
> It's been a while -- are you hanging in there? No Tarzan pun intended.



Yes. Throat is a little scratchy. When you drink you tend to snore, but overall, feeling better.


----------



## Rockbro

Good job. (By the way have you noticed the show's tendency to replace characters and pretty much say "What? What? There's nothing to see here!" Case in point: the latest replacement was Carol. Completely different woman from one episode to the next.

Also, thanks for asking. Feeling better.


----------



## Rockbro

"Hmm, you’ve all got them. But don’t worry, uh, they’re very common around these parts. Uh, let’s start the decon."

???


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> "Hmm, you’ve all got them. But don’t worry, uh, they’re very common around these parts. Uh, let’s start the decon."
> 
> ???


Zero clue-how are you?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Zero clue-how are you?



Plugging along. Back to Disney for the first time this Friday (not entirely sure I WANT to go... skittish about the virus, but I suppose we can't I've in fear forever).

Also, I hint about the above quote: It's not from a movie, it's from an attraction.


----------



## Piglet843

Rockbro said:


> Plugging along. Back to Disney for the first time this Friday (not entirely sure I WANT to go... skittish about the virus, but I suppose we can't I've in fear forever).
> 
> Also, I hint about the above quote: It's not from a movie, it's from an attraction.



Yay!  Back to Disney!  I hope you have a great time   

The Attraction... is it Dinosaur?


----------



## Rockbro

Piglet843 said:


> Yay!  Back to Disney!  I hope you have a great time
> 
> The Attraction... is it Dinosaur?



Nope... think "the most annoying reshow I could ever imagine."


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Nope... think "the most annoying reshow I could ever imagine."


FoP?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> FoP?



YES!!!! FOP


----------



## DL1WDW2

This Friday? Time to start packing! Or just swimsuit and towel and sandals and suntan lotion and mask...and umbrella


----------



## Rockbro

DL1WDW2 said:


> This Friday? Time to start packing! Or just swimsuit and towel and sandals and suntan lotion and mask...and umbrella



I live an hour away  no packing


----------



## Rockbro

Sooooo,

I know a lot of you are going to call me a "troll."

My wife just left me. I'm not looking for sympathy. It helps to write things out to process them. It's Florida, right? When it rains, it pours.

EDIT: I VERY MUCH UNDESTAND that it may seem like I am creating a story. I would think the same thing about someone one else. But, I'm not. Sometimes things go sideways in life... I'm not one to feel bad for myself. Just want to "talk it out."


----------



## DL1WDW2

If you knew my life story, you would say I am making it up... 
And I think to myself I wish I had that good of imagination. 
Sorry for this and for you and your wife.
She needs support & understanding as much as you also. 
I hope you can prove to yourself you are strong enough to stay healthy and strive for a better future and hopefully you can remain friends. 
I think of Paul Simons song It’s like a window in your heart


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Sooooo,
> 
> I know a lot of you are going to call me a "troll."
> 
> My wife just left me. I'm not looking for sympathy. It helps to write things out to process them. It's Florida, right? When it rains, it pours.
> 
> EDIT: I VERY MUCH UNDESTAND that it may seem like I am creating a story. I would think the same thing about someone one else. But, I'm not. Sometimes things go sideways in life... I'm not one to feel bad for myself. Just want to "talk it out."


I’m sorry to hear about your changes, are you still going to WDW?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> I’m sorry to hear about your changes, are you still going to WDW?




No... Bad things happen in threes, right? I just need one last for now.

Will someone please send me a bad penny that I can't get rid of? It would be #3 and a Godsend!


----------



## Rockbro

I know that many don't want to take advice from those without experience, but if you have kids, do your best to dissuade them from drugs and alcohol. I never touched a drug, but alcohol became my poison, Most will never develop an addiction. But some will. And, yeah, alcohol is a drug... There is a 6% success rate in kicking anything. Do your best to stop your kids from being the 94% and you, as well.


One is too many; a hundred is never enough.


----------



## Carol_

Hang in there. Sorry about the wife. Things WILL look up soon. But don’t brush aside your feelings or try not to feel them. Go through them without booze. There’s light on the other side.
Make plans to live a much better life from here out.


----------



## Rockbro

I just want to say... I'm honored that there have been so many replies and pages. Thanks. I honestly never though that there would be such an outpouring. I just wish these damn shakes would stop!

...You have no idea how many times I had to edit this message before it was grammatically correct!

Anyway, who remembers the original Journey Into Imagination? They shifted the big reveal to the beginning on the new one. I have no qualms saying this... my last girlfriend  bought me a VHS of old rides (bootlegged) some things no one will ever see again.

Sorry for typing.... shaking still


----------



## Rockbro

So, I guess I'll give up some more about myself.

I'm an older guy, I was a cop for 10 years. I was almost killed twice on the job. I suffer from PTSD anxiety and depression. I'm really worried about going to MK tomorrow with the mask. I've been offered a service dog 3 times, but I declined. And I really resent those people that bring dogs into the parks with fake vests. 

And no need to ask why I denied. There are other people that need them more.

EDIT: Just wanted to talk a little bit. When I wsa a cop, I worked midnights... no one is awake now !

Also, in an earlier post, I stated that I don't like to dislose info about myself. By the end of this, you will have my full name, license picture and social security number.  I'm terrible like that 

Good luck with the SSN. If I keep shaking like this, it will never be accurate.

And, hey, I didn't mention that I was a cop for any kudos or "thank you for your service." I never know how to respond to those. So, "Let it Go."


----------



## Karin1984

Rockbro said:


> So, I guess I'll give up some more about myself.
> 
> I'm an older guy, I was a cop for 10 years. I was almost killed twice on the job. I suffer from PTSD anxiety and depression. I'm really worried about going to MK tomorrow with the mask. I've been offered a service dog 3 times, but I declined. And I really resent those people that bring dogs into the parks with fake vests.
> 
> And no need to ask why I denied. There are other people that need them more.
> 
> EDIT: Just wanted to talk a little bit. When I wsa a cop, I worked midnights... no one is awake now !



Europe is awake, it's 10:30 in the morning here. 

And about the dog, you owe it to yourself to try everything to get yourself to a better place. This is not the time to say your suffering is worth less than others. You are not a fake and your suffering is equal to others.  

I want to show you this Dutch commercial from a few years ago. It's from the organization which coordinates all kinds of help animals. 
Translation of the voice over: We train dogs to wake up people from nightmares, as we do not just help people who cannot see. But also people who have seen too much.


----------



## Rockbro

Karin1984 said:


> Europe is awake, it's 10:30 in the morning here.
> 
> And about the dog, you owe it to yourself to try everything to get yourself to a better place. This is not the time to say your suffering is worth less than others. You are not a fake and your suffering is equal to others.
> 
> I want to show you this Dutch commercial from a few years ago. It's from the organization which coordinates all kinds of help animals.
> Translation of the voice over: We train dogs to wake up people from nightmares, as we do not just help people who cannot see. But also people who have seen too much.



Thank you... and that's amazing. Dogs are incredible... how do they sense that stuff? I have 2 Rots and the little girl knows when I am going through a lot of anxiety. She'll drape herself across me or shove her snout in my mouth (tasty).


----------



## LovesTimone

Get yourself up and go... to Disney... you have to move forward... take another step...

So what your going alone, lots of people go alone, its no big deal.... and right now maybe a change of scenery will do you some good... taking a step away from your problems, to clear your head, might be what you need. 

As well Disney's magic might really be what you need... to help you clear out, and start processing things differently...  

A different perspective.


----------



## Rockbro

I'm writing this because I need an outlet. I can only put so much on my family, but I can't sit on everything.

My wife turned 34 today. I had a whole day planned; I was going to take her to MK, then go to Morimoto for dinner, The Ganachery for her dessert (I don't eat stuff like that) and then a $100 shopping spree (yeah, I know, at Disney Springs that's about a bag of jelly beans). She left to go to another place 2,000 miles away (I don't want to give up too much information) and told me she'd be back early afternoon today for her birthday dinner and then leave again. I just found out that she won't be back at all today, she cancelled her flight.

I know this all sounds convoluted and like a made-up story, but it is not. I just need to write because it is cathartic and helps me not to drive myself crazy .

There won't be any MK today. I can't associate this with anything Disney. It will ruin it for me.

Thanks for reading. Again, I swear this is all true and I am not a troll.

EDIT: I put 14 years into this woman. In May 2020, celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. Why do bad things happen to bad people? I have a dark sense of humor and way of dealing with things. The last year hasn't been so great... again, thanks for reading.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> I'm writing this because I need an outlet. I can only put so much on my family, but I can't sit on everything.
> 
> My wife turned 34 today. I had a whole day planned; I was going to take her to MK, then go to Morimoto for dinner, The Ganachery for her dessert (I don't eat stuff like that) and then a $100 shopping spree (yeah, I know, at Disney Springs that's about a bag of jelly beans). She left to go to another place 2,000 miles away (I don't want to give up too much information) and told me she'd be back early afternoon today for her birthday dinner and then leave again. I just found out that she won't be back at all today, she cancelled her flight.
> 
> I know this all sounds convoluted and like a made-up story, but it is not. I just need to write because it is cathartic and helps me not to drive myself crazy .
> 
> There won't be any MK today. I can't associate this with anything Disney. It will ruin it for me.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Again, I swear this is all true and I am not a troll.
> 
> EDIT: I put 14 years into this woman. In May 2020, celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. Why do bad things happen to bad people? I have a dark sense of humor and way of dealing with things. The last year hasn't been so great... again, thanks for reading.


Hang in there rockbro, have you kept up with your meetings? If so, has it seemed to be helpful?


----------



## wishing4PA

Rockbro said:


> I know that many don't want to take advice from those without experience, but if you have kids, do your best to dissuade them from drugs and alcohol. I never touched a drug, but alcohol became my poison, Most will never develop an addiction. But some will. And, yeah, alcohol is a drug... There is a 6% success rate in kicking anything. Do your best to stop your kids from being the 94% and you, as well.
> 
> 
> One is too many; a hundred is never enough.


Stick with it, you're so close.
I hope that my daughter never will be where you are. She sees that her dad must drink every night, and she knows how it affects him. He stopped for a while, and it was a good time for our family, but that was then, and we are back to his normal. I've tried my best to show our daughter her whole life that this doesn't have to be her normal. I had not been around anyone who wasn't able to do without wine nightly, so it caught me by surprise. Daughter is wiser, and will be on high alert, I hope, to not be in the same situation.
But she understands, it's not anything to do with being a good or bad person.
He's a good person.
And I believe you are, too.
But life's better without the drinking, for you and those around you. And no matter what may be going on with your marriage, there ARE people around you. Don't let her issues be an excuse to baskslide.
Stick with it.
Well, without it. 
Nothing wrong with a few extra dollars in the pocket and giving your body and brain what they really need instead of what they don't.
And if what they need is Disney, we all understand that here!
I hope you had a great day.  Editing b/c that line sounds stupid under the circumstances. What I meant to say was I hope you have had the best possible day, given the circumstances.


----------



## Rockbro

wishing4PA said:


> Stick with it, you're so close.
> I hope that my daughter never will be where you are. She sees that her dad must drink every night, and she knows how it affects him. He stopped for a while, and it was a good time for our family, but that was then, and we are back to his normal. I've tried my best to show our daughter her whole life that this doesn't have to be her normal. I had not been around anyone who wasn't able to do without wine nightly, so it caught me by surprise. Daughter is wiser, and will be on high alert, I hope, to not be in the same situation.
> But she understands, it's not anything to do with being a good or bad person.
> He's a good person.
> And I believe you are, too.
> But life's better without the drinking, for you and those around you. And no matter what may be going on with your marriage, there ARE people around you. Don't let her issues be an excuse to baskslide.
> Stick with it.
> Well, without it.
> Nothing wrong with a few extra dollars in the pocket and giving your body and brain what they really need instead of what they don't.
> And if what they need is Disney, we all understand that here!
> I hope you had a great day.  Editing b/c that line sounds stupid under the circumstances. What I meant to say was I hope you have had the best possible day, given the circumstances.



No reply is stupid. Thank you.


----------



## Rockbro

wishing4PA said:


> Stick with it, you're so close.
> I hope that my daughter never will be where you are. She sees that her dad must drink every night, and she knows how it affects him. He stopped for a while, and it was a good time for our family, but that was then, and we are back to his normal. I've tried my best to show our daughter her whole life that this doesn't have to be her normal. I had not been around anyone who wasn't able to do without wine nightly, so it caught me by surprise. Daughter is wiser, and will be on high alert, I hope, to not be in the same situation.
> But she understands, it's not anything to do with being a good or bad person.
> He's a good person.
> And I believe you are, too.
> But life's better without the drinking, for you and those around you. And no matter what may be going on with your marriage, there ARE people around you. Don't let her issues be an excuse to baskslide.
> Stick with it.
> Well, without it.
> Nothing wrong with a few extra dollars in the pocket and giving your body and brain what they really need instead of what they don't.
> And if what they need is Disney, we all understand that here!
> I hope you had a great day.  Editing b/c that line sounds stupid under the circumstances. What I meant to say was I hope you have had the best possible day, given the circumstances.



No reply is stupid.


----------



## Rockbro

SO, uh, yeah. 

I relapsed. Wife leaving, career...

Damn it (not sure if allowed), I'm just tired. I hate this damn disease. Pick myself up. One hour. Sorry to have let you all down (especially me)


----------



## Rockbro

I'm not sure if I'm allowed, since I'm new but I'm going to try...


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> SO, uh, yeah.
> 
> I relapsed. Wife leaving, career...
> 
> Damn it (not sure if allowed), I'm just tired. I hate this damn disease. Pick myself up. One hour. Sorry to have let you all down (especially me)


Thanks for sharing, hang tough, tomorrow is a new day, we will see you then!


----------



## mgarbowski

Today is another chance to start.


----------



## Morieris

Setbacks happen. It's important that you don't beat yourself up to the point where you stop trying to improve, and yes, tomorrow is a new day!


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> I'm not sure if I'm allowed, since I'm new but I'm going to try...


Hello friend, how are you today?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Hello friend, how are you today?



My wife decided to come home (tentatively). That makes everything better.

It gives me hope.

I'm busy watching the "Brady Brunch" on WMOR and wishing I could eat. I've been pushing fluids to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I'm not letting a liquid kill me. I'd rather it be a disgusting fried food that that takes me out .

...preferably Liberty Tree Tavern.

And I should say this... I'm not a big guy. I'm 6 foot 1 and 180 pounds. So it would take FOREVER for food to kill me


----------



## Rebma512

Hap


Rockbro said:


> My wife decided to come home (tentatively). That makes everything better.
> 
> It gives me hope.
> 
> I'm busy watching the "Brady Brunch" on WMOR and wishing I could eat. I've been pushing fluids to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I'm not letting a liquid kill me. I'd rather it be a disgusting fried food that that takes me out .
> 
> ...preferably Liberty Tree Tavern.
> 
> And I should say this... I'm not a big guy. I'm 6 foot 1 and 180 pounds. So it would take FOREVER for food to kill me


happy to hear from you


----------



## DL1WDW2

Have you ever talked with your wife about her feelings being married to somebody that drinks excessively? What has that been for her.
First ? From my personal experiences as I mentioned early in this thread... I started dating at 16 years... we were best friends he even taught me how to drive a blue 60s Ford Falcon... and then he left for college and joined a fraternity. He was no longer the same person. I never drank because Beer looked & smelled bad. But the unspoken problems that brought alcohol such as smell and taste of a kiss ruined our marriage eventually.  Driving under influence citations Twice  , yes 2 , miracle he did not harm property or life’s... but everytime we saved up money for down payment ... oops had to hire a lawyer... This was back when you didn’t worry that auto insurance would increase or you might lose your job or spend time in jail...
So try to grow up and think about how this affects your life and your family and the past and the future.
Please

This sounds harsh and terrible but when he lost that battle after emergency heart attack ... I could not cry. I was very angry and it has taken 2 years to start to miss him .


----------



## Carol_

Rockbro said:


> I'm writing this because I need an outlet. I can only put so much on my family, but I can't sit on everything.
> 
> My wife turned 34 today. I had a whole day planned; I was going to take her to MK, then go to Morimoto for dinner, The Ganachery for her dessert (I don't eat stuff like that) and then a $100 shopping spree (yeah, I know, at Disney Springs that's about a bag of jelly beans). She left to go to another place 2,000 miles away (I don't want to give up too much information) and told me she'd be back early afternoon today for her birthday dinner and then leave again. I just found out that she won't be back at all today, she cancelled her flight.
> 
> I know this all sounds convoluted and like a made-up story, but it is not. I just need to write because it is cathartic and helps me not to drive myself crazy .
> 
> There won't be any MK today. I can't associate this with anything Disney. It will ruin it for me.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Again, I swear this is all true and I am not a troll.
> 
> EDIT: I put 14 years into this woman. In May 2020, celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. Why do bad things happen to bad people? I have a dark sense of humor and way of dealing with things. The last year hasn't been so great... again, thanks for reading.


Now, you know that great things happen to bad people all the time. There are too many examples.
Keep your chin up. Soon you’ll have a multimillion dollar estate, oodles of well dressed friends, and private hippos.


----------



## married2mm

Wow op; I’ve just read through this whole thread. 
I actually clicked on it as I thought the confession maybe you’ve never been to a Disney park! 
I was not prepared for the alcoholic confession, nor the outpouring of love & support . 

We all have issues. Some of our demons are bigger than others.
One of the worst ways to live is to be unable to recognise them. 
You have done this. 
That is an achievement. 

Every single second of every day we make choices.
The vast majority we pay no attention to whatsoever. 
Those which truly deserve our attention require us to be present and mindful.
This is often easier said than done.

No matter which path we follow, there will always be curveballs,upsets, relapses.
However; through these difficult times, there are also learnings to be made. 

You know if you continue on the wrong path there will be consequences.
Medical assistance, family, therapy, AA, online support are all there for you. 

Life is tough. It’s really not all pixie dust and magic. Its not a smooth ride. It’s goes up & down.

Alcoholism as a previous poster stated is a disease. It requires treatment. 
You need treatment. 
You have not let anyone down. 
You are human; we make mistakes.

I sincerely hope this doesn’t sound too preachy. 
I’m thinking of you. 
Sending virtual support with your lifelong struggle. 
Focus on the present & the not too distant future. 
We can’t change the past. 
W can help shape tomorrow.


----------



## Rebma512

Hey Rockbro, just checking in, how are you?!


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Hey Rockbro, just checking in, how are you?!



Every day gets a little easier.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Every day gets a little easier.


Glad to hear my friend


----------



## Canadi-Lynne

Rockbro said:


> Thank you all, for your kind words. Someday, this thing is going to beat me, but if I try, I can put it off as long as possible. I'm 42, been drinking for 31.5 years.
> 
> Advice: If you're a new drinker, feeling as if you "need" it, stop now. I'm not perfect, but I do have some wisdom. There's what is called a "tipping point." It's when you are beyond repair. But not everyone has to get to it. I don't think I'm there yet. I still have ambition and pride.
> 
> I'm no-one to give advice on this, but if I can save one life, this is worth it. I spent my life saving lives... this is the most important.


You can do this!  You have taken the first step.  The key is, like others have said, professional guidance to help with withdrawals and expectations. The next is remembering to take it day by day, minute by minute, rather than an insurmountable journey. You will always feel temptation but with the right tools in your toolbox you can move through it. I'm glad that Disney and this board gives you another focus. I know when I get low about all that is happening in the world Disney gives me the boost I need as well!  Good luck to you!


----------



## variclay

you can do this!! sending pixie dust!


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro...thinking of you, hope you are well


----------



## LovingPooh

Prayers going out for you.


----------



## flyingdumbo127

Prayers from me, too. 

O/T LovingPooh your picture is so cute!


----------



## stephk1981

You CAN do it, but yes it is hard. My father is a recovered alcoholic. I remember the last time he broke a ten year recovery mark. He didn't get sober again for 5 years. Those were incredibly difficult  years. Love yourself enough to do this. You are worth it. Lots of hugs and good thoughts coming your way during this time.
Just editing to add.....Don't  make promises to your wife/ kids ( you didn't  mention if you all have them yet.), as a family member it's  like promising them you will recover from cancer. This takes effort every single day, and while it will get easier, there may always be a temptation. Your wife can help by obviously not drinking herself and do not go to events right now where alcohol is present. I'm  sure you already have, but if you haven't  find a sponsor  asap.


----------



## Rockbro

So, I guess, a little bad news. my neuropathy is back. Shaking again, can't feel my face. I've pretty much put myself in the grave. I can only laugh now. I've though about how I'd like to be buried... I've cried too much. Ive been angry with Disney for their policy on pass holders. Ive been angry with myself, I've been angry with the liquor companies, but the only person to be angry with is me for my decisions. 

I can only hope that I can be the 1000th in the haunted mansion.


----------



## Lalabubbles

If you need to talk to someone please call this number 1-800-273-8255.  Hope that things start looking up for you


----------



## Lalabubbles

I also wanted to say that my Uncle was an alcoholic. It took him 3 tries in rehab before he quit drinking. Don’t give up, you got this.


----------



## stephk1981

Rockbro said:


> So, I guess, a little bad news. my neuropathy is back. Shaking again, can't feel my face. I've pretty much put myself in the grave. I can only laugh now. I've though about how I'd like to be buried... I've cried too much. Ive been angry with Disney for their policy on pass holders. Ive been angry with myself, I've been angry with the liquor companies, but the only person to be angry with is me for my decisions.
> 
> I can only hope that I can be the 1000th in the haunted mansion.


Try to give yourself time, this takes a great deal of compassion for yourself and from others in your life.


----------



## Rockbro

I know that I have said this tirelessly... Thank you all. I'm mawkish in saying this, but your words are not unheard. They are not passed by, either.

One little spark... creates creation.

ETA is something I just learned. Everyday, I doubt myself more, but everyday I learn more about myself. Every shake or tremor makes me stronger. Every time i vomit, I can eat again. Every time I lose my balance, I can go on Space Mountain  I can only get stronger


----------



## Rockbro

Day 1 starts again today. I'm so damn tired of myself. I'm sure you all are tired of me, as well. Overtime I think I beat it...

I'm a .12


----------



## stephk1981

Rockbro said:


> Day 1 starts again today. I'm so damn tired of myself. I'm sure you all are tired of me, as well. Overtime I think I beat it...
> 
> I'm a .12


You can make today a great day! You can do this, we are all routing  for you no matter what


----------



## Piglet843

Best of luck with your new start today   Find something (even if it is small) to be grateful for....  and let that be your beacon for the day.


----------



## Rockbro

Had a pretty bad day, but picked myself up.

I have a breathalyzer. I drank today, but my wife is going to keep strict hands on me.

I have a very important flight on 8/15. I need to keep my nausea, shaking and sweats down. This might be the most important trip of me life.

The pain to come will be horrible. But, I've done it before.

The worst of all of this, is that I found out my stepfather is dying. I can get through this.

If any of you are religious, please ask God to give me strength. If you're not, try to send me good thoughts. My wife will be home for 2 weeks. I need that "running start."

I'm a .15 right now. By tomorrow, a .00, hopefully. Thank you all for rooting for me.

I wish I could tell you all my career change. Just not a good idea.


----------



## Rockbro

Piglet843 said:


> Best of luck with your new start today   Find something (even if it is small) to be grateful for....  and let that be your beacon for the day.



Thank you.


----------



## Rockbro

Thought you might want to see...


----------



## Rockbro

By the way, thanks for being my friends.


----------



## Rockbro

Hi... don't want this to be all bad. I'm going to Phoenix next week for a job interview. The hotel I called has only suites, but they upgraded me to something better bc the room I had was taken.

1 out of a hundred isn't great, but it is something. 

Anyone in life gets rain, but sometimes you get sunshine.


----------



## Rockbro

And, I have to say this.... I can't believe 11,000 people have read my stupid ramblings. I feel like a celebrity


----------



## married2mm

You rock Rockbro


----------



## Rockbro

So I just started a youtube channel about alcoholism. Mods... am I allowed to post a link here? Im not trying to make any money.


----------



## Disneyfan754321

I'm proud of you , you took the first step...
Did you know AA is online during covid?
I am a child of an Alcoholic grew up in Alateen/alanon  while my mom went to meetings.


----------



## Rockbro

Disneyfan754321 said:


> I'm proud of you , you took the first step...
> Did you know AA is online during covid?
> I am a child of an Alcoholic grew up in Alateen/alanon  while my mom went to meetings.



Yes.


----------



## Donna3271

Oh My! You are a handsome guy! You have much to live for. I am praying for you. YOU GOT THIS BUDDY!!!!!


----------



## ShannyMcB




----------



## DL1WDW2

That was my first thought too!  Really cute guy and I can say that cause I am old enough to be a grandmother. And so brave & interesting. You have already helped me on my journey of forgiveness for the husband that had this disease and a million ways to disguise it and deny it. I used to joke that the alcohol would probably keep him alive forever because he never got sick. It was a medicine that killed his heart but the drinking helped him not feel the pain, I guess. 
I am along for the journey to help you Because I know how much your wife will miss you if you let this poison overpower you.


----------



## Rockbro

Episode 2...

Im having so many problems with my laptop. If you care to see, my channel is The Recovering Drunk.


----------



## Rockbro

Hey there, Hi there, Ho there,

If there's a member that would follow me, I'd like that. It would be nice to know that one person is listening.

I'm probably skirting the Disboard at this point. 

And Dl1wdw2, I'm sorry for your loss. Someday, my wife will be on your boat, but power ahead. But, as long as you get into the future, don't forget the past. You husband married you and you did the same for a reason... love. He may be gone, but you can keep him alive in your heart.


----------



## DeeBee3

I haven't read all the posts but I am praying for you. I echo all the posts people have made originally about talking to your doctor. I know there are some medicines that can help with withdrawal as well as others to help curb the cravings. I know they all have side effects. I have 1 brother who went through this is whole life. I can't imagine what you are dealing with, but I will pray for you and your family. AA is a big resource and something I believe in. It is a lifelong process and never just goes away even if sober.

I notice you keep mentioning that you are bound to succumb to this or it will eventually overtake you. I believe that mindset is one of the biggest things that you can get help with. As anyone who has dealt with addiction or with family suffering, it is up to that individual and no one else can change their mind.

Best of luck to you. In these isolated times, these sorts of issues are even harder and are the "silent victims" of the pandemic. God bless you.


----------



## stephk1981

Our family is following you now on your channel! We are excited to see your progress. Lots of prayers for your interview and moving forward. You've  got this!!


----------



## Rockbro

Episode 2, part 2 up.

Thanks for watching. is so therapeutic.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Episode 2, part 2 up.
> 
> Thanks for watching. is so therapeutic.


Subscribed. Watched your first episode, will catch up later. Hope your having a good day today!


----------



## tinkerdorabelle

Knowing people I care about that have struggled and recovered I totally recommend AA.  It really works. You will find a lot of support and good people and friends to help you through.  Best of wishes to you!


----------



## lovedisneycruise

Rockbro,
I've been following this thread and wish you much luck.  Through close friends and family, I also am familiar with this disease.

After reading that you started a youtube channel, I wanted to mention there is a guy on there who paints amazingly (Bob Ross style) and is recovering from I think severe depression; he talks about how painting saved him literally. Unfortunately, I can't recall his channel name but will try to find it.  I find him very inspiring.

Also, I am in law and at several firms I've worked there were recovering alcoholics--one now in his 70s and it took him decades to recover, and another in his 60s who has been clean for decades and is a long-term AA mentor.  He is always happy to monitor and help the new members and there is probably similar help in your area.  Best of luck - you can do this!

PS And you live AN HOUR from Disney - that's my dream!!


----------



## Rockbro

lovedisneycruise said:


> Rockbro,
> I've been following this thread and wish you much luck.  Through close friends and family, I also am familiar with this disease.
> 
> After reading that you started a youtube channel, I wanted to mention there is a guy on there who paints amazingly (Bob Ross style) and is a recovering alcoholic; he talks about how painting saved him literally. Unfortunately, I can't recall his channel name but will try to find it.  I find him very inspiring.
> 
> Also, I am in law and at several firms I've worked there were recovering alcoholics--one now in his 70s and it took him decades to recover, and another in his 60s who has been clean for decades and is a long-term AA mentor.  He is always happy to monitor and help the new members and there is probably similar help in your area.  Best of luck - you can do this!
> 
> PS And you live AN HOUR from Disney - that's my dream!!



The dream isn't what it seems... try driving on I4 

I really have to stop being so negative. My life really isn't that bad. It's actually pretty great. I'm a very fortunate guy. A lot of people would pine for what I have... I guess in some sense, I'm selfish. Thanks for your comments... kind of brought me back to earth.


----------



## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> The dream isn't what it seems... try driving on I4
> 
> I really have to stop being so negative. My life really isn't that bad. It's actually pretty great. I'm a very fortunate guy. A lot of people would pine for what I have... I guess in some sense, I'm selfish. Thanks for your comments... kind of brought me back to earth.



and hey! I have 5 youtube subscribers.... that makes me feel like a million bucks. I never thought I would be an "influencer!!!!!"


----------



## lovedisneycruise

I found the youtube channel I mentioned - Paintings by Justin. (I hope it's ok to put this here; you might find some inspiration from it. I don't know him at all just stumbled onto it one day when viewing Bob Ross videos.)


----------



## married2mm

I’ve not had an opportunity to check out channel yet; but I have to say green is a good colour to wear. 
I don’t know if you chose that purposely or purely coincidentally?
It emulates calm, groundless, generosity and more. 

Whatever assists in your journey works with me too!


----------



## Rockbro

married2mm said:


> I’ve not had an opportunity to check out channel yet; but I have to say green is a good colour to wear.
> I don’t know if you chose that purposely or purely coincidentally?
> It emulates calm, groundless, generosity and more.
> 
> Whatever assists in your journey works with me too!



I wear green because it is the color of my school.  I personally don't like green, but I'm loyal to my institution. If you want to check out the channel, it's The recovering Drunk and the icon is a sideways haunted mansion plaque... I'm not great at tech


----------



## married2mm

Rockbro said:


> I'm not great at tech



Well I can join that club with you


----------



## Rockbro

And...hey! When do I get off of "Mousateer" status? i went to be a vet! I served for 10 years... I deserve to be a vet!


----------



## DL1WDW2

I was trying to think of all the ways you can find content of interest. For starters I would like to casually understand more about you (not being nosy) but your life journey and understanding of past to crash thru the barrier to get over your hurdles will probably help you and many others. And finding new positive ways to keep your mind and hands and eyes busy. A coloring book and box of crayons can be very relaxing or a deck of cards to play solitaire or dominoes to build those long lines to stack & crash. Or maybe a remote controlled car . I once had a remote controlled submarine for the pool in our apartment and then a neighbor one upped me by getting a remote controlled Pirate Ship! 
Write your life story from bad point of view and then a good point of view .

hope you figure out how to download film cause I don’t you tube.


----------



## Rockbro

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a "" life for me...

I'm dropping out of school. No Phd.d.  .

I'm doing a 180 degree. I can't say what it is, but I need this. I'm going to be a pirate .

Almost... Thank you for all believing me. I don't deserve any of it. but I'll take it.

And Amber, thank you the most.


----------



## Rockbro

Rockbro said:


> Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a "" life for me...
> 
> I'm dropping out of school. No Phd.d.  .
> 
> I'm doing a 180 degree. I can't say what it is, but I need this. I'm going to be a pirate .
> 
> Almost... Thank you for all believing me. I don't deserve any of it. but I'll take it.
> 
> And Amber, thank most.


----------



## Rockbro

I'm not putting up a video today. Not the greatest day. Maybe tomorrow..

I'm sorry. Some of you guys like me.


----------



## The WDW 3

::GOOD VIBES::


----------



## Rockbro

I don't so much feel like a video today .Yeah, I might be dead in a year. I got some bad news. I can try to turn it around. So, no video. Sorry

Im editing this to to let all of you know, I'm so sorry. I was so proud of that stupid podcast. I just want you all to know I did a horrible job of shaving.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> I don't so much feel like a video today .Yeah, I might be dead in a year. I got some bad news. I can try to turn it around. So, no video. Sorry
> 
> Im editing this to to let all of you know, I'm so sorry. I was so proud of that stupid podcast. I just want you all to know I did a horrible job of shaving.


Turn it around and full steam ahead friend. A new day


----------



## DL1WDW2

I’m re-reading & made it to page 8. 
So many heartfelt responses. Perhaps you could re-read the on your YouTube for content and keep print out of pages for diary ... eventually a book ...or actually sponsored You tuber. 
I see your future It can bo a good one!


----------



## Donna3271

MAN IS THE RULER OF HIS OWN DESTINEY. Buddy, YOU GOT THIS. We are all rooting for you. You can do this.... Be strong and dig down deep. You will come up roses!


----------



## Rockbro

If you watch my youtube stuff, I won't be posting for a while. My wife left me yesterday, and I think it is for good. If you have a wife or husband, give him or her a hug today and cherish that person. Someday he or she may may gone forever.

And, please, no sympathy. You reap what you sew. I still have my two little guys (rottweilers). 

And you may not believe this about dogs, but they know when something is wrong. My little girl has been draping herself across me and my big guy has been shoving himself on my right side on his back.


----------



## Rockbro

DL1WDW2 said:


> I was trying to think of all the ways you can find content of interest. For starters I would like to casually understand more about you (not being nosy) but your life journey and understanding of past to crash thru the barrier to get over your hurdles will probably help you and many others. And finding new positive ways to keep your mind and hands and eyes busy. A coloring book and box of crayons can be very relaxing or a deck of cards to play solitaire or dominoes to build those long lines to stack & crash. Or maybe a remote controlled car . I once had a remote controlled submarine for the pool in our apartment and then a neighbor one upped me by getting a remote controlled Pirate Ship!
> Write your life story from bad point of view and then a good point of view .
> 
> hope you figure out how to download film cause I don’t you tube.



I will do. Thanks for the input. I hope I can figure it out.

I think it may be a data limit. Mods or Admins or Webmasters, do you think you could add me as a contributor?

Maybe if enough people like this post?


----------



## Rockbro

And hey, mods,

Thank you for letting me post this stuff. It's helping me get though what amounts to the most difficult time in my life.


----------



## Rockbro

Edit... mistake


----------



## Rockbro

Hey... I Can't get it onto this site, but there is more content. A little easier going.


----------



## Rockbro

I need to write because it helps.

I hope this doesn't come off as "preachy." Wives, hug your husbands. Husbands, kiss your wives. Read a bedtime story to your kids. You never know when you're going to lose all of it. When you do, if you do, you'll regret it forever. Have a great weekend... enjoy those you love.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> I need to write because it helps.
> 
> I hope this doesn't come off as "preachy." Wives, hug your husbands. Husbands, kiss your wives. Read a bedtime story to your kids. You never know when you're going to lose all of it. When you do, if you do, you'll regret it forever. Have a great weekend... enjoy those you love.


hey friend, I think that’s great advice. Can I give you some? Likewise, I don’t want to sound “preachy”. You have to appreciate, love, and find value in yourself, I think, before you can give that someone else. We are rooting for YOU!


----------



## Rockbro

Good Sunday Afternoon, all

I've decided that it isn't right to clog up the Disboard servers with my videos. So, from now on, if the "powers that be" deem it OK, I'll just post when I put up a new video along with a reminder of my channel name. I'll also post updates on what is happening in my life. 

Since I'm not so much "new" anymore, Maybe the mods might want to move this thread to the Disney Community section, if not, that's OK too.

A previous poster... pages ago mentioned that she/he was impressed by the outpouring of love and support provided in this thread. I want to echo that sentiment. All of you who have replied should take pride in the fact that you were part of saving a life. This might be the first and only time you can say that, so buy yourself a pint of ice cream, a piece of cake, or one of m personal favorites: a pound of steak tips or Olive Garden 

Yeah.... I know it's time for me to lose weight! I used to be thin and muscular. Now I'm pudgy 

I'll see you when I see you, but I wouldn't want to be you (After all, you have to listen to me.)


----------



## disneylover102

I've just barely joined, but YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!


----------



## Rockbro

Let's all be honest. Honesty is a lost art in this world.

Florida is a terrible place to live! Humidity, traffic, bad drivers and bad attitudes.

But, there is one good thing, and this might strike you as odd. Most people are comforted by sunshine. But, I'm comforted by dark skies, rain, thunder and lightning (but no hurricanes please)! We're getting a great storm right now.... life is good.


----------



## sweetpeama

@Rockbro being as you are a former policeman in the area that you are chances are you know prison chaplain Jon Clanton. I would encourage you to go or call and make an appoinment and talk with him. 
I have followed his wife's blog since their oldest daughter almost lost her life in a drowning accident in August 2012. Through her blog I have come to know that he would be a kind man in your area to talk with about problems. He is also the pastor of Grace Church on Berry Road.


----------



## married2mm

Rockbro said:


> A previous poster... pages ago mentioned that she/he was impressed by the outpouring of love and support provided in this thread. I want to echo that sentiment.



I think that was me 

and it’s a fact. There is love and support out there/here for those who want it. 
you have to want to be well for you. 

I’m sorry about your wife. 
Not exactly the same circumstances; but I lost a wonderful friend in her early 40’s. Her husband has just dipped back into the dating pool. But something he said-he needed time on his own. Whether it’s months or years. 
you need to focus on you. 

as you say -you still have your 2 beauties to keep you company. 
Of course they can feel your emotions. 

we are here with you. Through the ups and downs. Of which life brings us many.


----------



## Rebma512

Still hanging in there?


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> Still hanging in there?



Everyday is a winding road (Shery Crow)

Doing OK. my wife came come and she did something very nice for me... she gave me a new IPAD. I never wanted one of those before, but now that I have it, I really like it. Unfortunately, as I have stated,  at a certain age, one stops being proficient in technology. I used to have to program the VCR for my late grandfather. Now I can barely set my microwave's clock (mind you this is only age 42!) I dread what is to come. I'm eating more vegetables because I'm convinced I'm doomed to be come one 

I'm planning on a youtube video today or tomorrow. Again, I was planning on shooting for an hour per episode, but I think that is excessive... My 10 minute videos are more than enough to have to listen to me.

In that video, I'll be giving my opinion on Disney's best practices, a huge fork in the road that I am considering, and an early Thanksgiving... what I'm thankful for. 

I will update.

And, hey... to all of you that viewed my youtube videos, thank you again.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> Mods,
> 
> Am I allowed to get a link on here for a go fund me account for my puppy's surgery? I think not, but I'd like to if it is ok. I won't do anything until given the ok.
> 
> If the mods need, I'll post the vet docs from today detailing her ACL problems and surgery needs.


Did your dog tear the acl? Just one or both?


----------



## VandVsmama

I haven't read the entire thread, but just wanted you to know that I'm rooting for you in your recovery.  One of my best friends died a few years ago from addiction.  Before she descended into that disease, I thought that the concept of addiction being a disease was a bunch of bunk.  Oh boy, was I ever wrong.  

You can't battle it on your own.  You're going to need support.  An in person support group, 12 step program, etc.  You need a sponsor, somebody you can call when you're in the middle of "OMG I NEED A DRINK!"

And if you look at this from the perspective of "Hey, I have a chronic disease," then of COURSE you would seek out assistance to help you figure out how to better manage it.  

You might find that some of your friends who you drank with a lot won't know how to relate to you anymore once you've stopped drinking.  Anybody who gives you lip for not drinking alcohol is NOT a friend.

You can do this.  There will be times when you feel like you can't, but you CAN beat this.  Take it all one day at a time.  Or one hour at a time if you have to.  How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.


----------



## Rebma512

Rockbro said:


> It's both back legs. we don't don't when it happened. She runs in circles around the pool when we are in it. She has fallen in several times.I really will put up vet bills if allowed.
> 
> And, hey, I don't care if it's not allowed. She is my everything.
> Wy wife and I are not looking for sympathy by any means. We love her like a daughter. We have two Rots. and she's the youngest and smallest.
> 
> Honestly it will break my heart to put her down. $1 would be great... we'll send you pics of her recovery. She has been so good to me in my recovery.
> 
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/brooklyn...dium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1



if you can’t meet your goal on go fund me. I know a lot of animal hospitals offer the use of something called care credit. It’s credit card, but it can only be used for medical purposes. I’m pretty sure dentists and eye drs accept it as well. It is up to the individual office whether or not they accept it. It’s 0% interest IF paid off in the agreed time. Of coarse if it’s not paid off in the 6-12 months they ramjam you. You can usually apply in the office or go online and do it and it’s available to use immediately and they will eventually send you a physical card. I personally have never used it. I worked in an animal hospital for a few years and have seen it be helpful. Depending on your financial situation and if you can swing the cost of the surgery spread out as opposed having to come up with it all at once it can be super helpful especially since it is 0% interest. Also, sometimes vets will offer an in house “payment plan”. I feel like now a days that may be harder to come by. But depending on your vet and how “good” of a client you are, they may offer to work with you on something. Doesn’t hurt to ask.


----------



## Rockbro

Rebma512 said:


> if you can’t meet your goal on go fund me. I know a lot of animal hospitals offer the use of something called care credit. It’s credit card, but it can only be used for medical purposes. I’m pretty sure dentists and eye drs accept it as well. It is up to the individual office whether or not they accept it. It’s 0% interest IF paid off in the agreed time. Of coarse if it’s not paid off in the 6-12 months they ramjam you. You can usually apply in the office or go online and do it and it’s available to use immediately and they will eventually send you a physical card. I personally have never used it. I worked in an animal hospital for a few years and have seen it be helpful. Depending on your financial situation and if you can swing the cost of the surgery spread out as opposed having to come up with it all at once it can be super helpful especially since it is 0% interest. Also, sometimes vets will offer an in house “payment plan”. I feel like now a days that may be harder to come by. But depending on your vet and how “good” of a client you are, they may offer to work with you on something. Doesn’t hurt to ask.



Thank you for the info. And, I just want people to know that the reason I showed the link is because I shy away from social media (I firmly believe that the only thing that comes from it is negative; don't want a Facebook page or twitter account following me around for the rest of my life. Employers increasingly look at stuff like that for deciding on applicants).

Though, I suppose Disboards and my new youtube channel are considered social media. Go figure...


----------



## Rockbro

Hey all,

I know many of you have been following this thread, and I appreciate it. I am heading to Fort Meyers next Saturday for an initial look at a new career and I start back in my Ph.D. program on the 26th. So, I may be trailing off a bit.

Somehow, I don't think I'll be able to resist the temptation to log back on here, though.

But, I just wanted to let all of you know so that if you don't hear from me for a while, it's not because I died of a fatty liver explosion!


----------



## Rockbro

There's a video I want to post. But, I want to make sure it is of high quality content... standby.


----------



## Rockbro

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that, after a lot of thought, I found my original channel name to be self-deprecating. I have changed it to "Strength, Wisdom, and Musings" I think this is more appropriate. So, if you watch my stuff, it will be there. I have too much self-respect than to name my channel what I did. I just didn't realize it until now.


----------



## Rockbro

I have a difficult update. I'll let you know when I'm ready. There's been a loss in my family.

There's probably going to e edit after edit on the stupid post.


----------



## KellO

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.



Just acknowledging you have a problem is a HUGE step! My dad was (and likely still is) an alcoholic. You are so much stronger than many, just being able to say that there's something wrong with it and want to change. Are you getting help from your doctor/support group/therapist too?


----------



## Rockbro

KellO said:


> Just acknowledging you have a problem is a HUGE step! My dad was (and likely still is) an alcoholic. You are so much stronger than many, just being able to say that there's something wrong with it and want to change. Are you getting help from your doctor/support group/therapist too?



Yes


----------



## Rockbro

Edit...


----------



## Rockbro

Hey there,

I got a "thumbs down" on my last video. Not sure what was wrong with it, but I'll try to improve. Still, if you gave me the thumbs down, thanks for watching in the first place.


----------



## Rockbro

I just want to let you all know... I'm very honored that I have 6 subscribers and 17 viewers. I'm going to polish up and tune my guitar and play a song. It will be terrible, but I never expected this following.


----------



## Rockbro

To the mods: Did I screw up


----------



## AliceIn

You need to talk to other drunks at an AA meeting.  90 meetings in 90 days and get yourself a sponsor.    You aren't going to get sober alone, and it's not going to happen with YouTube videos and a Disney discussion board.   The people at AA meeting will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.    Please go - go often.   Read the Big Book, follow the 12 steps.   Keep coming back and take it one day at a time.    

This is a rough road, but admitting you are powerless over alcohol is the first step.    Through the grace of God and AA I've been clean and sober for 30 years.    Get up, get out and go to a meeting.


----------



## Rockbro

To the WDW 3,

I want to expand on this. There are many different diseases. Nobody wants them, but many people get them. There isn't a single one that is welcome. Again, no one gets a disease on purpose. And every single one wishes he or she didn't. Have compassion and don't judge,

Alcoholics are some of the best people you will meet because they are slammed in life. But we are some of the most caring people in the world.

I wish you the best.


----------



## CharliK

Have you seen Into The Unknown, about the making of frozen 2 per chance? 

Random way to start my comment I know, but I AM going somewhere with this! 

Kristen Bell talks about how much frozen 2 helped her, because of the simple phrase "do the next right thing..." 

When her anxiety was becoming too much, that phrase came to her and she focused, and realised all she had to do was the next right thing. So, getting out of bed and brushing her teeth was the next right thing. Once she had done that, the next right thing was to have a shower. Once that was done, she had to get dressed. Then the next right thing was to wake her children for breakfast etc. 

Try to remain calm in focusing on each step, one at a time. Give yourself a pat on the back for each right thing you accomplish, no matter how small, then focus on the next right thing you need to do. Little by little, you will get where you need to be. 

Recovery is all about steps, small steps at a time that lead to the top of a big staircase of achievenents. Getting through life with depression and anxiety is the very same. 

We are with you friend. Keep going strong. You've got this. Xxxxx


----------



## DL1WDW2

We might seem small and not important but We really care about you . I check in all the time and hope you have made it thru Especially during this time of unknown tomorrows. Every day gets crazier & crazier but we all want to be there for it No matter what.


----------



## ShannyMcB

CharliK said:


> Have you seen Into The Unknown, about the making of frozen 2 per chance?
> 
> Random way to start my comment I know, but I AM going somewhere with this!
> 
> Kristen Bell talks about how much frozen 2 helped her, because of the simple phrase "do the next right thing..."
> 
> When her anxiety was becoming too much, that phrase came to her and she focused, and realised all she had to do was the next right thing. So, getting out of bed and brushing her teeth was the next right thing. Once she had done that, the next right thing was to have a shower. Once that was done, she had to get dressed. Then the next right thing was to wake her children for breakfast etc.
> 
> Try to remain calm in focusing on each step, one at a time. Give yourself a pat on the back for each right thing you accomplish, no matter how small, then focus on the next right thing you need to do. Little by little, you will get where you need to be.
> 
> Recovery is all about steps, small steps at a time that lead to the top of a big staircase of achievenents. Getting through life with depression and anxiety is the very same.
> 
> We are with you friend. Keep going strong. You've got this. Xxxxx


That song/phrase I think has become a mantra for a lot of us...even before actually hearing it! I know it did for me! 
We all have our stories of disease, addiction etc. My family is dealing with repercussions now. Hoping my generation will break the cycle of our parents/aunts/uncles. Trust me when I say the virus has been the easier part of 2020 for us, sad but true.   I'm sure I dont need to tell anyone here just because you aren't drunk doesn't mean you aren't an addict.
Anyway...tangent, a series of small good decisions leads to great positive outcomes.


----------



## Rockbro

DL1WDW2 said:


> We might seem small and not important but We really care about you . I check in all the time and hope you have made it thru Especially during this time of unknown tomorrows. Every day gets crazier & crazier but we all want to be there for it No matter what.



Nobody is small and unimportant.


----------



## Rockbro

CharliK said:


> Have you seen Into The Unknown, about the making of frozen 2 per chance?
> 
> Random way to start my comment I know, but I AM going somewhere with this!
> 
> Kristen Bell talks about how much frozen 2 helped her, because of the simple phrase "do the next right thing..."
> 
> When her anxiety was becoming too much, that phrase came to her and she focused, and realised all she had to do was the next right thing. So, getting out of bed and brushing her teeth was the next right thing. Once she had done that, the next right thing was to have a shower. Once that was done, she had to get dressed. Then the next right thing was to wake her children for breakfast etc.
> 
> Try to remain calm in focusing on each step, one at a time. Give yourself a pat on the back for each right thing you accomplish, no matter how small, then focus on the next right thing you need to do. Little by little, you will get where you need to be.
> 
> Recovery is all about steps, small steps at a time that lead to the top of a big staircase of achievenents. Getting through life with depression and anxiety is the very same.
> 
> We are with you friend. Keep going strong. You've got this. Xxxxx



It's a marathon that I will run for the rest of my life... not a sprint. I'm doing the "next right thing." I picked up a hobby, picked up the guitar and tuned it and played again. I cleaned the house and I was supportive to my wife who is 2000 miles away and sick (maybe flu).

Im really not a bad person. I actually a pretty good guy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


----------



## AliceIn

Rockbro said:


> It's a marathon that I will run for the rest of my life... not a sprint. I'm doing the "next right thing." I picked up a hobby, picked up the guitar and tuned it and played again. I cleaned the house and I was supportive to my wife who is 2000 miles away and sick (maybe flu).
> 
> Im really not a bad person. I actually a pretty good guy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.



Good things - most important thing is getting support from people who understand the disease.   The AA meeting was the biggest thing you did that will help you on recovery.   If you didn't feel the group at that meeting was for you, there are lots of groups to try.   After all, if we didn't like a bar scene, we'd go to another bar, right?   Trust me on this, finding a group will help you more than anything else you can do for yourself.


----------



## CharliK

Rockbro said:


> It's a marathon that I will run for the rest of my life... not a sprint. I'm doing the "next right thing." I picked up a hobby, picked up the guitar and tuned it and played again. I cleaned the house and I was supportive to my wife who is 2000 miles away and sick (maybe flu).
> 
> Im really not a bad person. I actually a pretty good guy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.



I wasn't really referring to your recovery, I see from other comments you're dealing with that. It was really about the anxiety and depression you said you suffer from, and advice on a way to conquer that. 

Nobody has said you're a bad person so no fear there.


----------



## Donna3271

Rockbro said:


> Nobody is small and unimportant.


This reminds me of the Taylor Hanson Quote:

To the *world you may* be *one person but to one person you may be the world.*


----------



## Rockbro

Hey all,

I'm finally getting back to normal. I'm eating again... crappy, unhealthy stuff, but I'm getting food in. Not a sip alcohol. I reconnected with family and took up a new hobby, tuned by guitar and I start my 3rd year of Ph.D. tomorrow. This is a difficult journey, but it will be the most rewarding of my life. I might be called "Doctor" some day, but this will be more satisfying. What really sucks is that my favorite music is country and most country refers to alcohol, which can be a trigger.

Just wanted to give an update.


----------



## Rockbro

CharliK said:


> I wasn't really referring to your recovery, I see from other comments you're dealing with that. It was really about the anxiety and depression you said you suffer from, and advice on a way to conquer that.
> 
> Nobody has said you're a bad person so no fear there.



I understand. But I want you and everyone else to know that alcoholics typically dislike themselves and feel stigma and feel that others look down on them.

I honestly can't believe that I put this out there, because most (including me at one time) hide this. But, I need the ability to talk and explain this away.


----------



## ShannyMcB

Rockbro said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I'm finally getting back to normal. I'm eating again... crappy, unhealthy stuff, but I'm getting food in. Not a sip alcohol. I reconnected with family and took up a new hobby, tuned by guitar and I start my 3rd year of Ph.D. tomorrow. This is a difficult journey, but it will be the most rewarding of my life. I might be called "Doctor" some day, but this will be more satisfying. What really sucks is that my favorite music is country and most country refers to alcohol, which can be a trigger.
> 
> Just wanted to give an update.



Unhealthy food is still caloric intake! 
Best of luck with school.


----------



## Rockbro

There's a new video up if you'd like to watch.

Youtube channel: Strength, wisdom and musings


----------



## Rockbro

And to follow up, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I'm listening to Christmas music and "this dude" is starting to smile again.


----------



## XGhostColetteX

A lot more people are sympathetic than you think to addiction. We are all human with flaws and hang ups. Make sure you get the support that you need when you're ready and that you get a doctor involved. I wish you happiness and strength


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## CharliK

Rockbro said:


> I understand. But I want you and everyone else to know that alcoholics typically dislike themselves and feel stigma and feel that others look down on them.
> 
> I honestly can't believe that I put this out there, because most (including me at one time) hide this. But, I need the ability to talk and explain this away.



I had my own addiction demons i had to fight a few years ago when I left my ex so believe me, I feel this pain. I remember vividly sitting in front of my parents and saying out loud for the first time "I am addicted to this" and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, those words felt like bricks in my chest so I do understand 100%. It took a lot of time, and a lot of work to fight it, but I went from being 92lbs to my now very healthy 121lbs and I feel great but it is still a daily effort to keep myself on the right path. Xxx


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## Rockbro

CharliK said:


> I had my own addiction demons i had to fight a few years ago when I left my ex so believe me, I feel this pain. I remember vividly sitting in front of my parents and saying out loud for the first time "I am addicted to this" and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, those words felt like bricks in my chest so I do understand 100%. It took a lot of time, and a lot of work to fight it, but I went from being 92lbs to my now very healthy 121lbs and I feel great but it is still a daily effort to keep myself on the right path. Xxx



Good job and congratulations. You look like a very beautiful girl from your avatar. Keep up the good work.


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## CharliK

Rockbro said:


> Good job and congratulations. You look like a very beautiful girl from your avatar. Keep up the good work.



You too. A huge well done, always here if you ever need to talk. Xx


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## lovemygoofy

Rockbro said:


> Hey,
> 
> I'm going to do something. I have 6 youtube subscribers. I will donate $1 to  Give Kids the World for each additional up to $200. But you better watch and comment .
> 
> You're probably wondering why I am doing this. I moved here three years ago and have no friends. My wife is thinking about leaving me. I use my youtube to talk to people.
> 
> It's Strength, Wisdom and Musings.
> 
> And I PROMISE I will donate that money. I will have Give Kids the World give you proof.



You really need to go to AA. You need to be with others that are traveling or have traveled the path you are going down to recovery. No one can do this alone. Life is going to happen and you are going to want to drink or you will start drinking without having that support of someone there to help who understands. Having a plan in place of alternate ways to handle life and stress is going to be essential in times of recovery. 
A different option is talk to your student services, I've no doubt that they have on campus support for this as well. You're hardly the first or the last person on college campus that has alcohol issues. It's likely free or very very reduced and they will be tied into other resources in your area. 
You are trying to rebuild your self esteem on a house of cards from the internet and that's not possible. You need to build on a solid foundation of help and support and guidance. Go to AA and encourage your wife to go to Al-Anon. I know some alcoholics who are real *****s and I know many many more that are drinking because they don't deal with their stuff (insert different word for stuff). Go deal with your stuff. After every deployment my husband tried to find his way in bottom of bottle and I'd pour it out and tell him if he hadn't found Jesus or the answers he wasn't going to find it there and back to counseling we went. You cannot stay sober without help and support of people you can depend on and ways to push forward when life gets hard and hits you in the face. Please take the very hard step of calling student support services or looking for AA meetings in your area.


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## Rockbro

lovemygoofy said:


> You really need to go to AA. You need to be with others that are traveling or have traveled the path you are going down to recovery. No one can do this alone. Life is going to happen and you are going to want to drink or you will start drinking without having that support of someone there to help who understands. Having a plan in place of alternate ways to handle life and stress is going to be essential in times of recovery.
> A different option is talk to your student services, I've no doubt that they have on campus support for this as well. You're hardly the first or the last person on college campus that has alcohol issues. It's likely free or very very reduced and they will be tied into other resources in your area.
> You are trying to rebuild your self esteem on a house of cards from the internet and that's not possible. You need to build on a solid foundation of help and support and guidance. Go to AA and encourage your wife to go to Al-Anon. I know some alcoholics who are real *****s and I know many many more that are drinking because they don't deal with their stuff (insert different word for stuff). Go deal with your stuff. After every deployment my husband tried to find his way in bottom of bottle and I'd pour it out and tell him if he hadn't found Jesus or the answers he wasn't going to find it there and back to counseling we went. You cannot stay sober without help and support of people you can depend on and ways to push forward when life gets hard and hits you in the face. Please take the very hard step of calling student support services or looking for AA meetings in your area.



Thank you for the advice... already there  And, I'm not necessarily relying on the internet. It's just another outlet and way of coping. One resource is good, 2,3,4 are better.


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## CharliK

lovemygoofy said:


> You really need to go to AA. You need to be with others that are traveling or have traveled the path you are going down to recovery. No one can do this alone. Life is going to happen and you are going to want to drink or you will start drinking without having that support of someone there to help who understands. Having a plan in place of alternate ways to handle life and stress is going to be essential in times of recovery.
> A different option is talk to your student services, I've no doubt that they have on campus support for this as well. You're hardly the first or the last person on college campus that has alcohol issues. It's likely free or very very reduced and they will be tied into other resources in your area.
> You are trying to rebuild your self esteem on a house of cards from the internet and that's not possible. You need to build on a solid foundation of help and support and guidance. Go to AA and encourage your wife to go to Al-Anon. I know some alcoholics who are real *****s and I know many many more that are drinking because they don't deal with their stuff (insert different word for stuff). Go deal with your stuff. After every deployment my husband tried to find his way in bottom of bottle and I'd pour it out and tell him if he hadn't found Jesus or the answers he wasn't going to find it there and back to counseling we went. You cannot stay sober without help and support of people you can depend on and ways to push forward when life gets hard and hits you in the face. Please take the very hard step of calling student support services or looking for AA meetings in your area.



This is so true, if I hadn't told my parents about my problems and had their support and what I called family rehab no way would I have been able to clean myself up and do what I needed to do. Luckily, in a way, I didn't need AA or NA and my mum managed to get me a job working with her (it really was family rehab!) And that meant I had to lean on her a lot, which worked wonders for me. If I had tried to do it alone I would have relapsed, I just know for a fact I would. Xx


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## ShannyMcB

Just stumbled on this on twitter (sometimes it's not a dumpster fire) and thought it might be of interest. 

https://zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_jbWOHEH4TXeUTY3HfaBBRg


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## Rockbro

Hey there all, happy Saturday! The wife and I will be returning to the Disney for the first time today and I plan on taking videos and posting on my channel.

This will be my first foray into editing videos together. From what I've read, I need to use ivideo to do so. Does anyone out there have any advice or expertise on how to do so? I'm sure I can google and figure it out, but multiple sources of advice are better than 1.

Thanks.


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## Rockbro

OK, so I believe I have learned the "in's and outs' of what I can do here on the boards." I made a mistake last time posting a video in that I mentioned a site. So, I'm going to try this and hope I don't get points or banned.


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## Rockbro

It's a small world! There is strength, wisdom, and musings! PS... I'm not allowed to share videos. Shhhh


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## Rockbro

Hey all, you know the thing that I have, Strength, Wisdom, and Musings. There are a couple new things there.

The last thing I did (I'm trying to be as ambiguous as possible), will be the last "happy" thing I do for a while. I lost a close family member this weekend. It wasn't to death, so read into that as necessary. It won't be difficult to figure out if you take a few minutes to think.

I just needed a place to get this out. 14 years down the drain.


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## Rockbro

Some of you may be going through the same thing as me. I'm finding a certain song that I I don't think I'm allowed to share but, Ill try anyway "It don't hurt like it used to."


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## disneychrista

Rockbro said:


> Some of you may be going through the same thing as me. I'm finding a certain song that I I don't think I'm allowed to share but, Ill try anyway "It don't hurt like it used to."


This one?


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## lvt

That time is not wasted,  it was well used.   Falling is a bipedal problem.


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## Rebma512

Just checking in to see how things are going?!


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## eksmama01

Stay strong and every day is a new day.


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## IgglesFan45

You’re a brave soul, I wish you nothing but the best.


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## Rockbro

Hey! Look at me! I was banned for a month but I'm finally back. A lot has happened int he last month. I lost my wife and 2 dogs... not great. I've been waiting to post since it happened. Wife left in the middle of the night while I was sleeping and took the 2 dogs. In the meantime, my little girl (Rotty) was diagnosed with cancer and will be put down. 

But hey, I'm back on dis!


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## Rockbro

disneychrista said:


> This one?



Yep... Sorry. My last post was so long ago I forgot that I shared much of this info already. I'm so happy to be back.


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## Rockbro

This one is better


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## Rockbro

Mods, if I'm not allowed to post a video, please delete. I  don't want points or to be banned again. It was a long month not being able to talk to my buddies here.


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## IgglesFan45

Rockbro said:


> Hey! Look at me! I was banned for a month but I'm finally back. A lot has happened int he last month. I lost my wife and 2 dogs... not great. I've been waiting to post since it happened. Wife left in the middle of the night while I was sleeping and took the 2 dogs. In the meantime, my little girl (Rotty) was diagnosed with cancer and will be put down.
> 
> But hey, I'm back on dis!



Welcome back man


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## Rockbro

And for those of you who have never been banned (which I assume is all of you), it stinks. You have to go to a different board, and those people are not the same.


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## Rockbro

I'm probably going to post so much you're going to get annoyed. It helps to talk. Something good DID come out of this. I picked up my guitar for the first time in three years.


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## figmentfinesse

Just stumbled across this thread. I’m 3.5 years sober from opiates, let me tell you it’s so much better out here!!! You can do this.


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## Carol_

I like knowing you’re still fighting the good fight.


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## Rockbro

So, I've decided that I need to get out of this house and the memories that exist here for the Holidays. I don't know if I can afford Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. If I can, it will be Contemporary, Beach, and Grand Floridian. But, if I can only choose one holiday, which would you choose? I'm an AP, but there most likely won't be a park day. I'll just stay in the room and watch TV (only 1 night per holiday). I just think I'll need a neutral space.

Thoughts? Oh, by the way, I live an hour away, so travel is not a concern.


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## DL1WDW2

Why not choose POP and be able to afford Halloween & Xmas/ NYE


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## Rockbro

DL1WDW2 said:


> Why not choose POP and be able to afford Halloween & Xmas/ NYE



I guess I could do something like that. I suppose I'm somewhat of a snob. We've always stayed club level at deluxe resorts. I didn't consider that. But, I guess if a bed and TV are all I care about...maybe. I just really wanted a Castle view to put a smile on my face.


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## AnnyMouse

Rockbro said:


> I guess I could do something like that. I suppose I'm somewhat of a snob. We've always stayed club level at deluxe resorts. I didn't consider that. But, I guess if a bed and TV are all I care about...maybe. I just really wanted a Castle view to put a smile on my face.


If I was planning on staying in my room I would go for the deluxe (if I could afford it). If I am going to be spending very little time in my room then I go value.


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## Carol_

I’m always thrilled to stay anywhere on property. Downright awestruck when I walk into Wilderness Lodge at Christmas.


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## DL1WDW2

I agree with those feelings too if things were normal. But No fireworks No Castle lights.... $$$
And honestly right now I have had my fill of sitting in front of tv or computer since last March . At POP I pay up for preferred pool view so I can see and hear the guests and the children having fun ... all day long. I can walk over to get on a SkyLiner round trip day or night views. More fun to walk around during day & night cause guests always decorate the windows for birthdays or holidays!  Seriously need to know children still can enjoy life And we all want to be a child on Disney property. 
Save your money for the return of  a real Castle View.


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## Rockbro

So is life... a few hours ago I picked up the guitar and belted out a song like I never have. I was going to do it again and record to post here, but I sang with such intensity the first time, I have a sore throat now 

As Charlie Brown says, +insert famous quote here+

But, I know doom and gloom gets very old very quickly. So, I say this: it was cathartic. It released a lot of pent up emotion.


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## Heidifrances

Rockbro said:


> So... Hi.
> 
> I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.
> 
> I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.
> 
> I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.


Hi. My husband is an alcoholic who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety. You can do it!!  You have to decide that there are only two options left: 1) Sober  2) Dead.  Find a group, find a sponsor, get the help you need and deserve. You can do it! You really can. I wish you strength and help!!


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## Dan Murphy

Just came across this thread.  Wishing you my best, Rockbro.  A day at a time.  Stick with it.


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## Rockbro

Heidifrances said:


> Hi. My husband is an alcoholic who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety. You can do it!!  You have to decide that there are only two options left: 1) Sober  2) Dead.  Find a group, find a sponsor, get the help you need and deserve. You can do it! You really can. I wish you strength and help!!



I just realized like any good alcoholic, I've been incredibly selfish. I've barely responded to anyone and have  even less done something as easy as hit the "like" button. Congratulations to your husband for 40 years. I don't think I'll make it that far. I already have severe health problems as a result. But, what time I have left, I'll enjoy disbands, the podcast, disney, and seafood .

I've decided not to see anymore Dr's. I just don't want to know anymore. I'm too young to die, and there is some evidence that if you know how sick you are, the quicker you visit Walt.


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## Rockbro

I'd also like to say this...

Most people refer to us as drunks. Most people don't believe this is a disease. I'm a 42 year old professional. I own my home. I don't live on the streets. I'm clean shaven and uphold my responsibilities in terms of bills and civic duty.

For those of you who think this is simply a "choice," Please reconsider. This is a disease. Yes, people can't choose to have cancer or diabetes or hepatitis, and yes, I have more control than people who have things like that, but it isn't as simple as it might sound. But next time you see a homeless person on the side of the road with a bottle, instead of thinking that person is a drunk, buy them a sandwich.


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## macraven

Don’t worry about responding to everyone.
It’s not expected.

Think of us as your cheerleaders encouraging you that you can do this.

Some days will be easier as time goes by.


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## Rockbro

Hey all,

None of you know who I am, but please do something for me... take a step back and think about the spouses and pets you have lost. Think about the good times you have had. Be glad for the experiences you had at Disney. Be glad for picking "stuff" up when the pets "go."

Be glad for having to hold your wife's hair while she gets sick.

When you lose these things, you never get them back.


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## mommasita

Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart  for you, what you have lost, what you are going through.  I sadly know loss (es), what they can do. 
We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new.  I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming.  My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar.  I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive. 
What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved.


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## Rockbro

mommasita said:


> Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart ❤ for you, what you have lost, what you are going through.  I sadly know loss (es), what they can do.
> We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new.  I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming.  My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar.  I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive.
> What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved.



I'd like to "like" post, but can't. I'm sorry for your loss.

The reason I can't "like" is because there was pain.


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## Rockbro

I picked up my guitar yesterday. That was OK. I looked a job up on Disney... they laid off 20 something thousand jobs. I have my XBOX hockey game, and school, which at 42, I'm tired of.

This place is really my own way to get out of this 

At this point, I'm glad I have this.

ANOTHER EDIT: If you have a nice pair of socks and good pajamas, put them on.... they're comforting.


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## Rockbro

mommasita said:


> Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart ❤ for you, what you have lost, what you are going through.  I sadly know loss (es), what they can do.
> We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new.  I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming.  My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar.  I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive.
> What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved.



I just realized... 
You said "You Have a Friend in Me" Everything comes back to disney!


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## Rockbro

Just an update to anyone following. It's soupy here in Florida today. I haven't been in my pool in about a month. I'm taking another small step forward today and spending a small amount of time in my pool and getting much needed vitamin D from the sun.

It's not getting easier, but I'm a guy, I need to cowboy up.


----------



## Rockbro

This is hard to type because I'lm shaking...I had another binge (like a moron). But, tomorrow is day1.

If you don't know what a binge feels like, The surge of the alcohol feels so comforting. Then you come down and shake, get nauseous, and sweat like the the beast. It hurts. You shake. You can't sleep.

It's so much worse than the flu.


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## Carol_

Rockbro said:


> This is hard to type because I'lm shaking...I had another binge (like a moron). But, tomorrow is day1.


Go to the ER, tell them you’re in DTs, get an IV and  let them help you sleep it off. You don’t always have to suffer through it, and it can kill you.


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## Rockbro

Ummm.. so yeah, I had a replapse. My spelling may not be so great. I'm sweating and shanking like a wild animal. Pleased me a favor, do EVERYTHING you can do discourage your kids from alcohol. I've been through 3 sets of clothes already from sweats, and the pain is terrible.

But if you care, music is soothing for anything.

EDIT: also, just sitting in my recliner thinking about the haunted mansion 

Another edit: It helps to write, even though it takes some time because my hands aren't working so well.


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## UberClaire

Please check yourself in for inpatient treatment.


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## Rockbro

Edit


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## cdnSpinalTap

I won't offer any other advice, as most people have said all that needs to be said.  However, I will offer up a book that I read that is absolutely amazing.  It's called *"This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace*.  She really puts things into perspective and it's a great read for anyone that drinks any amount of alcohol, whether you consider yourself an alcoholic or not.  I've read it at least twice now.  She also runs a 30-day alcohol free experiment to go along with the book.  The cool thing is that she tells you that you do not need to stop drinking while you read the book.

I was never a heavy drinker, but I always felt that it was not healthy, not to mention the impact it may have on my kids when they start thinking that adults need to have alcohol to have fun.  After reading the book, I have not had a drink in 10 months.  I am not saying I will never drink again, but I have definitely controlled my relationship with alcohol, instead of the other way around.


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## cm8

Hope you are doing as well as you can be!


----------

