# Unwanted attention from the rainbow Magic Band on a child?



## CapnJacksGirl

My soon to be 12 year old son wants the rainbow Magic Band for our upcoming trip.  He likes that it is bright colored and fun and doesn't know the significance of the rainbow.  My question is this.....I think and have thought for a while now that he may be gay and hasn't quite figured it out yet or isn't yet willing to say.  I want to be as supportive as possible and don't want to put him into any unnecessary, uncomfortable positions while he figures it out.  If I get him the rainbow Magic Band, is it at all likely that someone will say something to him?  It sounds preposterous to me that anyone would say something insensitive to a child, but I've been to WDW enough times to know that people can and will do just about anything.  I'm just concerned that if I get it for him and someone says something stupid, it will make him uncomfortable and might cause him undue worry.  I keep going back and forth on it.  My gut says get it, explain the context, and prepare him so that if someone says something idiotic, he is ready to ignore it or tell them to mind their own business.  I'm just trying to be the best mom possible so I can protect and support my kid.  Any advice and positive thoughts are welcome!  TIA!


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## crvetter

CapnJacksGirl said:


> He likes that it is bright colored and fun and doesn't know the significance of the rainbow.


I personally don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting the band specifically for this purpose. I think it's great you are offering to explain the significance and at the very least he's an ally.


CapnJacksGirl said:


> If I get him the rainbow Magic Band, is it at all likely that someone will say something to him?


I don't think it is likely. I go to WDW and DLR all the time with my partner. I've never once had anything said to us at either resort so I think the odds are fairly low that anyone would say anything about the MagicBand. It's most likely that people might not even notice it or even put two and two together on the short timeframe that they would see the MagicBand.


CapnJacksGirl said:


> My gut says get it, explain the context, and prepare him so that if someone says something idiotic, he is ready to ignore it or tell them to mind their own business.


I don't have a child; however, I think explaining the meaning of the band would be a worthy discussion--it's a good time to show support for the community in general, which I personally think would be great moment with your son and at 12 I think your son would know your support would apply to him if applicable. Perhaps you could just mention off-handed that it's great he wants to support LGBT+ movement.

Anecdotally, I think I would have felt really uncomfortable if someone told me someone might say something. I might have avoided it for no reason.


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## CapnJacksGirl

Thanks for the comments!   I fear I may be overthinking things in my efforts to make sure he is OK with things, whether it affects him directly or if he is simply a supporter of the community like me.  I think you are right....he likes the Magic Band and it is a great opportunity to instill some positive values about supporting others.  He's a pretty caring little dude so we'll have a good talk and he can wear his happy new Magic Band!


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## MikeWDW35

I went around MGM with a temporary Tinker Bell Tattooed to my forearm. I’m not Gay, I just like Tink and I was A little intoxicated.


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## DISNEY1975

My kids always loved rainbows, both sons and daughter.  In our world, it means nothing, just something pretty.  If I saw someone wearing a rainbow band, I would think absolutely nothing...well at least until now that you brought it up!  I would like think nobody is really paying attention to anyone outside their own party at Disney.  If that is the case that people are really checking out other people, I need to rethink wearing a bathing suit at the waterparks


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## Chuck S

I doubt you'll hear any comment, except perhaps,  the non-specific "Oh, I like your Magic Band."


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## MickyLynn

Nobody said anything about DH's rainbow ears other than "I like your ears".  But I agree that you might want to give him a heads up that in this case the rainbow design is significant.


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## SG131

WDW is a pretty inclusive place, I doubt you'll hear any comments than love your band.  It still would be worth discussing what it stands for if for no other reason than to keep the lines of communication open with him and who knows maybe he already knew the meaning and it leads to another conversation.


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## Jason_V

Caveat: I'm not a parent and I likely will never be one. That being said, if he were my son, I'd let him pick his Magic Band and be done with it. I understand you wanting to protect him and prepare him for all sorts of contingencies, but that's not terribly realistic in life. If something happens, then you can address it. 

WDW and DLR are two of the safest/inclusive places you're gonna find. I doubt anyone will say anything aside from a "cool Magic Band"-type comment. I've gone to the parks multiple times on non-Gay Days holding my mixed race ex's hand and no one batted an eye. My guess is it'll be the same for you.


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## Legolas813

I'm a new passholder and have never used or seen a magicband before. Where would I find a rainbow one?

EDIT: I see now you can buy it on the Disney Shop. It's not available on the passholder magicband page.


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## jscunningham699

I think you should just let him pick whatever Magic band he wants.  The rainbow isn't only about the LGBQT community.  Lots of religious organizations use it too that have nothing to do with the LGBQT community.  Besides, I doubt anyone will say anything because the bands are on your wrist and there's too much going on for people to pay attention to someone else's wrist.


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## Dreamsofcolor

In all respect I think you might be over thinking this. I highly doubt anyone will say anything (let alone notice). Let him choose what he wants.  On a side note, I am very happy to hear you are supportive if he does happen to be gay. Not everyone who comes out gets that blessing.


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## Chuck S

CapnJacksGirl said:


> My question is this.....I think and have thought for a while now that he may be gay and hasn't quite figured it out yet or isn't yet willing to say.



If he's 12 and in public school anywhere in the US, he likely already knows that a rainbow can, _but not always_, have a GLBT connotation.  Sometimes a rainbow is just a pretty rainbow, and maybe he just likes rainbows and colors.  I still like pastels and some fairly bright colors, I never liked dark colors. Of course, I was 12 many. many, many years ago.  My Mom, bless her, had a talk and suggested I might be gay.  At 12, I reacted like most 12 year olds when discussing human anatomy....with...."Eewwwwww!"   She was right, of course, but it took a while for _me_ to realize it. Some people know early in life, some don't, they just may feel "different."   So gently keep the lines of communication open, I think discussing what the significance of the rainbow _may be_, and letting him know you're OK with gay people, in general, is a good start.  And he may be pleasantly surprised that his Mom is so cool.


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## anomamatt

FWIW:

My 7-year old has the rainbow mickey MB.  She gets positive comments from time to time, like "I like your magic band." or "great magic band". My daughter is also transgender, but that isn't really relevant to the question at hand.  And my wife also has the rainbow mickey MB and she isn't LGBT.

I would be shocked if anyone said anything other than very positive comments.


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## Plasticletters

Disney is aware of their market with all of their rainbow gear (and how and when they feature it for sale), but literally hundreds of straight/cis people purchase those items every day without a thought towards what they might suggest to others.
If some terrible homophobe wants to give your child grief for sporting a rainbow, then you're unfortunate to have crossed paths with them - but terrible people will find things to ruin in anything.
Enjoy the rainbow magic band. It'll be fine


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## MightyDuck001

The only time I've ever made comments on someone's pride themed attire in Disney was two women wearing matching pride shirts (castle with the rainbow) and I was two passion fruit vodkas slushes in at Epcot and said they looked adorable together then went on to say I'd just broken up with my girlfriend and I was going to die alone before my friend dragged me off. 

The kids I just assume like rainbows.


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## DisneyOma

jscunningham699 said:


> I think you should just let him pick whatever Magic band he wants.  The rainbow isn't only about the LGBQT community.  Lots of religious organizations use it too that have nothing to do with the LGBQT community.  Besides, I doubt anyone will say anything because the bands are on your wrist and there's too much going on for people to pay attention to someone else's wrist.



Besides Rainbow Girls, I don't know of any other religious groups that use the rainbow to represent anything but inclusion and support of the LGBTQ community in this area of the US. Which other organizations use the rainbow?


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## Lilsia

DisneyOma said:


> Besides Rainbow Girls, I don't know of any other religious groups that use the rainbow to represent anything but inclusion and support of the LGBTQ community in this area of the US. Which other organizations use the rainbow?



The rainbow has been a symbol of Hawaii for decades. The rainbow is on their license plate and on all kinds of tourist items. Growing up, we had rainbows on all kinds of clothes and I still see that(although not as much anymore unfortunately) because little girls like rainbows. Adults should not ascribe ulterior motives to children when they see things like this. I would just assume that the child likes the colors of the magic band. I have zero issues with anybody or their preferences. But I do wish that the rainbow can just be a rainbow, especially when it comes to children wearing something with rainbow/rainbow colors.


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## igrsod

I've seen so many little kids wearing rainbow ears at Disney and no one bats an eye.  I think it's awesome that you are thinking of him and also that you are so open and accepting of whatever his choice maybe in the future, but like others have said, you may be overthinking it.  I would be so surprised if you received anything but positive comments.  Most people are too busy trying to get to their next FP or dining reservation to notice lol.


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## Mousemom234

His magic band, his choice.  Rainbows are pretty.  They don't HAVE to mean anything. Your support will keep him from regretting getting it.


Plasticletters said:


> If some terrible homophobe wants to give your child grief for sporting a rainbow, then you're unfortunate to have crossed paths with them - but terrible people will find things to ruin in anything.
> Enjoy the rainbow magic band. It'll be fine


This.  But I'll change it just a bit - you're FORTUNATE to have crossed paths.  It's a good lesson on how rude and unthinking some people can be when they think they've the only correct way of thinking.  I'd mention the possibility of an 'incident'  to him, and make sure he knows he has your support and that you agree with most of us that some people only exist to take up space


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## disneychrista

Sometimes rainbows are just rainbows.


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## bookgirl2632

As an ally, I wear rainbow stuff often.  If people make assumptions based on that, I don’t really care.  You know your child.  Talk it over with him.  If he wants to wear the band, whether it is because he just likes rainbows and Mickey Mouse or for a deeper reason, so be it.  The important thing is that he is happy with his choice.


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## Someone28624

I'm straight and got the rainbow magic band because I loved the bright colors and retro Mickey vibe it had to it. It was after I had it on for 3 days that I realized "Oh, this might be for pride."

I've gotten a lot of "I like your magic band" and I had one girl ask me if you can only buy it during pride month.


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## Disney Frenhines

Rainbows belong to everyone, after all they are a beautiful natural phenomenon. 
Not wanting to offend anyone, but, Christians, get over yourselves, your myth about the rainbow involves genocide, so the LGBTQ use of it as a symbol is much, much nicer. So, to the OP let your son wear the rainbow band and always be there for him, that's what is most important and just remember, kids know more about things than they ever let on to their parents.


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## Chuck S

Disney Frenhines said:


> kids know more about things than they ever let on to their parents.



Yep.


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## old lady

The rainbow bands might not have any thing with being gay . It is wearing a elephant or donkey band. Does it make someone political?


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## disneychrista

old lady said:


> It is wearing a elephant or donkey band. Does it make someone political?


Only if they are red, white & blue.


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## Sjm9911

Hes 12 , get him the band, spare the talk. Have fun.  If hes getting it because " he might be gay" then he knows about what it can signify.  If not and its just cool , because, hey its a rainbow. The talk might not go well. The get it and have fun thing will always work out ok.


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## VandVsmama

The average WDW visitor pays absolutely no attention to the color or design of other people's magic bands.  Heck, a lot of people have a hard time paying attention to where they are walking, let alone whether or not somebody has a rainbow-colored magic band.

Don't make it into a big deal.  Your son could be gay.  He might not be.  Regardless, you'd probably want him to feel comfortable enough with you to be able to talk to you about this sort of thing.  Don't cut off that line of communication early by essentially saying "Don't do this or that because people might think you're gay."  It gives the implication that being gay is a negative thing.  It'll also inadvertently send your son the message that you would not approve if he is.

Trust me, the average 12 yr old boy has figured out a lot already about discrimination of this nature.

** edited to add**
Another possibility is that he has a friend who has told him that he or she is LGBT...and maybe your son wants to show his support for this friend by wearing a rainbow magic band at WDW.  OR it could be just that he likes rainbows.


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## Spencer Wright

I know nothing about children, but I was just down in August, and rainbow merchandise seemed very popular.  A lot of British tourists come then, and they really seemed to love rainbow merchandise.  

I would be really surprised if you received any negative attention.


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## momandmousefan

Maybe just ask a simple “any reason you want this particular band?”  in a supportive way and leave it open. Then he can tell you whether he wants to make a statement, express himself, support someone or just simply likes the band.


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## Chuck S

momandmousefan said:


> Maybe just ask a simple “any reason you want this particular band?”  in a supportive way and leave it open. Then he can tell you whether he wants to make a statement, express himself, support someone or just simply likes the band.


Be wary of the tone of voice you use if you ask this question.  If he does happen to be gay and perceives the tone as slightly gruff or disappointment in your voice, he could take it as meaning you would not approve.  That could lead to his being reluctant to come out....and coming out is tough enough.  Don't force it. It will happen on his own schedule, not yours,_ if _he is gay.

You could make it a different experience if you say, "Hey, I like that you're kind of making a statement and  supporting a cause.  I think I'll get a pink magic band to show support for those with breast cancer."  And so forth.  Tie each of your family magic bands to a cause, it will be really inclusive.


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## momandmousefan

Chuck S said:


> Be wary of the tone of voice you use if you ask this question.  If he does happen to be gay and perceives the tone as slightly gruff or disappointment in your voice, he could take it as meaning you would not approve.  That could lead to his being reluctant to come out....and coming out is tough enough.  Don't force it. It will happen on his own schedule, not yours,_ if _he is gay.
> 
> You could make it a different experience if you say, "Hey, I like that you're kind of making a statement and  supporting a cause.  I think I'll get a pink magic band to show support for those with breast cancer."  And so forth.  Tie each of your family magic bands to a cause, it will be really inclusive.


Exactly why I said “in a supportive way” No teen likes feeling pressured to talk, but many appreciate knowing that someone is there to listen and care even if they don’t feel like talking. A nice, kind question, posed simply just opens the door, but don’t push it or even make any kind of big deal. If he wants to talk to you and you open the door for him a bit he will, if he doesn’t want to talk at least he knows the door is always open and he’s welcome when he is.


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## kittyab

At that age I would not be too concerned with people saying anything.   I doubt anyone would says something to a 12 yr old.  

Now I am surprising my 14 old with a rainbow band and ears for our upcoming trip.   She came out to use last year.


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## biochemgirl

Just thought I'd add that my son, now 14, has worn the rainbow ears, hat, pins, lanyards, etc for about 2 years. I asked him, and no one has ever said anything to him about the potential significance of wearing the rainbow gear.


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## Disney Frenhines

biochemgirl said:


> Just thought I'd add that my son, now 14, has worn the rainbow ears, hat, pins, lanyards, etc for about 2 years. I asked him, and no one has ever said anything to him about the potential significance of wearing the rainbow gear.


Hopefully because no-one is cowardly enough to do so.


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## L&Lfan

I think there are still lots of folks out there who don’t immediately connect the rainbow  with LGBT folks and especially wouldn’t make that connection with a 12 year old wearing it. JMO


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## nolatrekkers

My 17 year old son is gay and has been out to everyone since age 14. He says now that at around age 12 is when he started to realize that he was probably gay. He is very lucky in that he had no doubt about the fact that I am an ally and would be 100 percent supportive of him coming out, so when he was ready, he casually dropped the news to everyone. Your son may just like rainbows, or he may be testing the water. I don't think there is any need for a big talk, at most someone might say "cool band" or "I like your band", but just being generally supportive without making a big deal out of it is probably the best thing you can do.


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## SorcererDC

i was just there and had the rainbow MB.  the only things anyone said were positive.  “I like your magic band”, “where’d you get it”...etc...

if he wants it, let him get it...and enjoy your trip!!!


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## CampbellzSoup

He’ll be fine.

I’m gay and don’t wear or own not one rainbow thing.  A child’s innocence in wanting rainbow means nothing.  It’s only a symbol for those who want it to be.


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## cj.scribbles

This post is a little old but I figured I might chime in anyways. If a Guest sees something they don't like...more often than not they'll turn to the nearest CM to talk about it versus bothering another Guest. Regarding the Pride collection I've had multiple people glad at one another, only to come over to me to rant. It's very uncomfortable but I'd rather it be at me than someone else. 

That being said it's such a minor thing on a child that I dont think anyone is going to notice, certainly not a CM anyways.


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## CampbellzSoup

What exactly are they ranting about?


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## Chuck S

What is there to report? Someone’s wearing a rainbow Mickey shirt or rainbow WDW T-shirt? Disney sells that merchandise.


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## kittyab

We will be there next month, I will report anything out of the ordinary.


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## Chuck S

This week I've been wearing a rainbow MB and mostly rainbow Disney/Mickey T-shirts, and the mickey hands rainbow heart hat they had last year. The only reactions I've had has been people, usually CMs, saying they like my shirts or my hat.


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## Johnbobrick

in à normal day at wdw , if you sit and pay attention to people walking by, you’ll notice a hundred rainbow items on kids, men, women and obvious couples. I wouldn’t overthink it. I’m sure you’re 12 year old is aware of the meaning.


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## LAS2AMS

Older thread, but I disagreed with what I read and thought I'd add my thoughts: if a tween-aged boy wanted to wear something associated with gay pride, I would have a discreet conversation with him just to make sure he knows.  When I was in sixth grade, we had to make business cards during our first week of "homeroom" class.  Well, naturally I started the semester late -- we were vacationing in Disney World of course (so my parents could take advantage of the deep AP room discounts) -- and there were few remaining designs (the cards were pre-printed).  So I picked the rainbow, not thinking much about it (the remaining designs were all feminine).  Next, I had to pick something to represent me... well, stuff like pictures of a football, Nintendo controller, etc. were taken, so I picked a cat from what was left, because we had a cat for a pet.  So my business card was a rainbow... with a picture of a cat (where a normal business logo would go).  Totally innocent, but boys are boys and I was subject to heavy teasing - even past graduation.

I'm glad that some of us live in an inclusive society, but do you know who hates being teased about being gay the most?  Straight tween/teenage boys in grade school.  Especially when the teasing isn't necessarily playful... yes, we do live in a society where kids make themselves feel better or more important by bullying others...


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## Chuck S

LAS2AMS said:


> Older thread, but I disagreed with what I read and thought I'd add my thoughts: if a tween-aged boy wanted to wear something associated with gay pride, I would have a discreet conversation with him just to make sure he knows.  When I was in sixth grade, we had to make business cards during our first week of "homeroom" class.  Well, naturally I started the semester late -- we were vacationing in Disney World of course (so my parents could take advantage of the deep AP room discounts) -- and there were few remaining designs (the cards were pre-printed).  So I picked the rainbow, not thinking much about it (the remaining designs were all feminine).  Next, I had to pick something to represent me... well, stuff like pictures of a football, Nintendo controller, etc. were taken, so I picked a cat from what was left, because we had a cat for a pet.  So my business card was a rainbow... with a picture of a cat (where a normal business logo would go).  Totally innocent, but boys are boys and I was subject to heavy teasing - even past graduation.
> 
> I'm glad that some of us live in an inclusive society, but do you know who hates being teased about being gay the most?  Straight tween/teenage boys in grade school.  Especially when the teasing isn't necessarily playful... yes, we do live in a society where kids make themselves feel better or more important by bullying others...


But this thread isn't about a school project, it is about wearing a rainbow magic band at Disney. I was gay bullied in Jr. High, b4 I had any idea what "gay" meant, 50 years ago.  And even then, growing up in Southern California, Disneyland was a safe place...not as friendly as now, but still safe. It is doubtful he'd be wearing a magic band once the trip is over.


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## LAS2AMS

Chuck S said:


> But this thread isn't about a school project, it is about wearing a rainbow magic band at Disney. I was gay bullied in Jr. High, b4 I had any idea what "gay" meant, 50 years ago.  And even then, growing up in Southern California, Disneyland was a safe place...not as friendly as now, but still safe. It is doubtful he'd be wearing a magic band once the trip is over.



You completely missed my point; most posters are assuming that a 12yo knows the significance of the rainbow.  That's a very, very dangerous assumption - most kids are naturally attracted to rich, vibrant colors, and given most tweens/tweens today want to be different and stand out, he could be attracted to the rainbow just because it's different/he thinks it'll make him do so.  Of course, there are also many 12yo who understand and embrace the significance of the rainbow.  I'm not naive -- at a former job, one of the organizers of SF Pride was a client, so I witnessed thousands of kids embracing the rainbow in some form or another while I was "volunteering."  But again, kids develop at different rates and have different exposure in different areas... assuming that a 12yo should know is just wrong.

Secondly, while WDW may be a safe place and I agree it's unlikely anybody would wear their Magic Bands once their trips ended, that's not the problem.  He's going to post pictures and videos of his trip on social media... and the Magic Band will be noticeable, especially to trolls.  Let's not pretend we live in an inclusive society.  Most tweens have a hard time coping with rumors about their sexuality, especially if they're straight, questioning or not ready to come out.  Like I said, mom would be wise to have a discreet conversation with son.


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## Jason_V

LAS2AMS said:


> You completely missed my point; most posters are assuming that a 12yo knows the significance of the rainbow.  That's a very, very dangerous assumption - most kids are naturally attracted to rich, vibrant colors, and given most tweens/tweens today want to be different and stand out, he could be attracted to the rainbow just because it's different/he thinks it'll make him do so.  Of course, there are also many 12yo who understand and embrace the significance of the rainbow.  I'm not naive -- at a former job, one of the organizers of SF Pride was a client, so I witnessed thousands of kids embracing the rainbow in some form or another while I was "volunteering."  But again, kids develop at different rates and have different exposure in different areas... assuming that a 12yo should know is just wrong.
> 
> Secondly, while WDW may be a safe place and I agree it's unlikely anybody would wear their Magic Bands once their trips ended, that's not the problem.  He's going to post pictures and videos of his trip on social media... and the Magic Band will be noticeable, especially to trolls.  Let's not pretend we live in an inclusive society.  Most tweens have a hard time coping with rumors about their sexuality, especially if they're straight, questioning or not ready to come out.  Like I said, mom would be wise to have a discreet conversation with son.



I get what you're trying to say and I'm not diminishing your opinion or experience. If a kid is going to be bullied, the bullies will find something to bully them over. Whether it is a rainbow magic band or reading a book instead of playing football...bullies find something. Heck, I was bullied when I moved to Texas in fourth grade because I was from the north. The bullying continued through ninth grade and the word "gay" never entered the conversation. This experience was also close to 30 years ago.

Mom having a conversation with this child over may help this situation-I'm never opposed to open and honest communication between kids and parents-but the unintended effect may be making this child second guess every thing they want to do or like in life for fear of the bullies. I'd be more inclined to support Mom teaching him how to punch bullies back if they come after him. There are a lot of variables we don't know: where is this child from, are they on social media, what is their personality like, etc.


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## MKwatercraftPilot

CapnJacksGirl said:


> My soon to be 12 year old son wants the rainbow Magic Band for our upcoming trip.  He likes that it is bright colored and fun and doesn't know the significance of the rainbow.  My question is this.....I think and have thought for a while now that he may be gay and hasn't quite figured it out yet or isn't yet willing to say.



This may be contradictory to what everyone else has said, however, it's possible that he definitely knows what it means but maybe doesn't think YOU know what it means. He may just be saying he thinks it's brightly colored and fun to try to throw you off.  He may want to wear it as he feels that Disney is a safe place and may be testing the waters to see how people react knowing that he'll never see any of those people again in his life.




CapnJacksGirl said:


> My gut says get it, explain the context, and prepare him so that if someone says something idiotic, he is ready to ignore it or tell them to mind their own business.  I'm just trying to be the best mom possible so I can protect and support my kid.  Any advice and positive thoughts are welcome!  TIA!



I think you should go with your gut. You know your child, you know your values and you know what is important, and that's to love your kid(s) no matter what.

I've never been a parent, but I have been a gay son. I don't have the right answers to this, but maybe it's better to break this out into different conversations, and maybe try to space them out. Not like - rainbows mean gay and gay is okay, but:
First, make sure he knows that you love him and support him no matter who he loves, and more importantly, that he can come to you with anything. 12-ish is a delicate age, and you have to figure out the right way to say that being gay is okay without giving him the impression that you think he may be gay. Implying anything can have a really negative reaction (though even if he got mad, he would probably be quick to come around if he knows you're supportive). Maybe find a pointed way to make note of someone on tv, a celebrity, a gay athelete, etc. and talk about how wonderful it is that they are in love and that everyone around them is so supportive, and how it's so great that they can come to their families and talk about it. The more often it casually comes up, the less "weird" it will be.
This may also be a great time to talk about how there are many people who don't agree with your standpoint and how some people may think negatively, and that those people are wrong. You can compare it to other things he may get flak for in life, or other things you may have experienced. People - especially teenagers, will always find something to make fun of. Whether it's rainbow accessories, actually being gay, wearing glasses, religion, politics - anything, how he handles it is key, and it's important he knows that some people belong in your life and some don't.
Finally, maybe as a part of this conversation, maybe at a different time, I'd maybe bring up the symbolism of the rainbow, you can talk about what it means and why it's important, and you can talk about how there are products that are marketed as an expression of pride, red white and blue products are sold around independence day and show pride in your country (if you're from the US, that is), bright green things are sold around St. Patrick's day and show pride in or support of Irish Heritage, rainbow products are sold to show pride in knowing that love is love and are most commonly worn by gay people, though that doesn't mean that all people wearing red white and blue are Americans, they just may like the color combination, and the same goes for rainbows.
That should be plenty, as long as he's clear on what the meaning is, then when it comes up at a later date - if you still have the time, "hey son, have you decided on what magic band you want? we have the rainbow one in our cart right now." He knows what it means, knows you're supportive and can make his decision with all the information.
Also, if he is gay or questioning, the amount of _positive _attention that he will get from cast members will be so uplifting. SO uplifting, and it will help him to know that there are others around that are supportive - I don't mean anything inappropriate, but he'll hear a lot of "I like your magic band" (I hear a lot of that when I carry my rainbow mickey phone case, and it's just spreading happiness). You can even encourage him to compliment other people's rainbow magic bands, or hats, or pins or tshirts.

I meant for this to be a very short post but I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought. Sorry for rambling and thanks for reading. To sum up:
He may know what it means and think that you don't. Explain that you do and/or teach him, and make it positive.
The most important thing is that you're supportive. You sound like a good mom.

I realize after writing this whole thing that you posted like 9 months ago and have already definitely figured out what you were going to do. How did it go?


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## LAS2AMS

Jason_V said:


> I get what you're trying to say and I'm not diminishing your opinion or experience. If a kid is going to be bullied, the bullies will find something to bully them over. Whether it is a rainbow magic band or reading a book instead of playing football...bullies find something. Heck, I was bullied when I moved to Texas in fourth grade because I was from the north. The bullying continued through ninth grade and the word "gay" never entered the conversation. This experience was also close to 30 years ago.
> 
> Mom having a conversation with this child over may help this situation-I'm never opposed to open and honest communication between kids and parents-but the unintended effect may be making this child second guess every thing they want to do or like in life for fear of the bullies. I'd be more inclined to support Mom teaching him how to punch bullies back if they come after him. There are a lot of variables we don't know: where is this child from, are they on social media, what is their personality like, etc.



I disagree simply because he is 12.  Most 12yo can't thoroughly think their actions through, and this is where mom & dad need to step in.  Mom & dad simply need to make him aware of the consequences of his actions, even if they let him make the decision.  Ultimately, it's impossible to predict how a 12yo will react to bullying ... especially if he's straight, unsure, confused or not ready to come out.  Here's another example: a couple years ago, my friend's 17yo son went to a pride event.  Almost a year later, just a couple months before he was set to graduate, photographs of him at that event surfaced and he became ridiculed.  Some guys would've used it as an opportunity to come out -- remember, two months from graduation.  While, he was so depressed, he dropped out of high school, relinquishing a full college scholarship.  Mom and dad couldn't have helped him, but the situation derived because - in the heat of the moment - he allowed a photograph of himself that gave away his sexuality to be taken, not realizing that ultimately his peers could - somehow - become aware of it.

IMO - and just MO - I believe it's best to let kids make their own decisions, but I believe its our job as parents to let them have enough information to make the decision.


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## Jason_V

Sure, kids need information to make a decision. But he's 12. Saying "the rainbow, among a million other things, is a symbol of the gay community and if people see you with it on, they may think you're gay" seems like a massive information dump on a young child. 

In your next example, where were Mom and Dad? They didn't notice ANY change in his behavior? Like, nothing? No one goes from happy go lucky one moment to depressed and dropping out of school in the next moment. I don't really buy that. I think it's more likely Mom and Dad weren't paying attention or didn't want to acknowledge he may have been going through something which was potentially uncomfortable for them and therefore did nothing. But I don't know the entire situation...and I am 100% not judging. At all.

I'm still in favor of wearing whatever the heck you want to wear. And then learning how to deal with bullies if need be. Bullies exist in the world at any age and those who are bullied need to learn to stick up for themselves. That's the quickest way for bullies to back down. (I'm not talking violence, either. I'm talking using resources--adults in school, parents, knowing your own self worth, etc.)


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## CampbellzSoup

Wear whatever you want, clearly some guests do anyway.  If a rainbow turns anyone’s heads then they’ll be turning their heads 2 minutes later at something else.


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## LAS2AMS

Jason_V said:


> Sure, kids need information to make a decision. But he's 12. Saying "the rainbow, among a million other things, is a symbol of the gay community and if people see you with it on, they may think you're gay" seems like a massive information dump on a young child.



It won't be.  The conversation would be natural, fluid and catering to the kid's knowledge.  Unless he's living in a secluded cult (and I would infer he's not, based on mom's posting), he probably has a fair idea of the concept of homosexuality.  The depth of knowledge regarding human sexuality and topics like homosexuality vary widely at that age.  At the most extreme, there's a significant number of guys who've admitted to using apps like Grinder as preteens, out of pure curiosity.  There's also a significant number of 12yo who are completely innocent, just beginning puberty, and are clueless about anything regarding sexuality.  

But I cringe at the advice of 'let him do what he wants, and if his peers see the Magic Band in the photos, make assumptions, and bully him regardless of whether he's straight, questioning or not ready to come out... so what.  Deal with it.'  Having the conversation before it happens... will be a lot easier than having it after it happens.  Especially given that some kids can't deal with the bullying.



CampbellzSoup said:


> Wear whatever you want, clearly some guests do anyway.  If a rainbow turns anyone’s heads then they’ll be turning their heads 2 minutes later at something else.



As I mentioned, the concerning issue is the kid posting videos and pictures to social media with the Magic Band clearly visible, and the reactions of his peers.  Some likes like to bully others, just because it makes them feel better about their selves.


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## matthewthompson87

The only correct answer here is “Cool. I like the rainbow one, too.”


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## LAS2AMS

matthewthompson87 said:


> The only correct answer here is “Cool. I like the rainbow one, too.”



It's Disneyfied advice, not a correct answer.  What happens if his peers see pictures... and name calling starts, rumors spread, etc., some of his friends tell him they don't want to hang with him anymore, and he enters a deep depression?  Obviously, it may not happen ... but it happens a lot more than we'd like to think.  And it's completely avoidable, with a proper talk.


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## Chuck S

But following your logic, schools should discontinue their music, choir, drama and other fine arts programs and focus on football, soccer and other sports, because the artistic kids are sometimes bullied.


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## matthewthompson87

LAS2AMS said:


> It's Disneyfied advice, not a correct answer.  What happens if his peers see pictures... and name calling starts, rumors spread, etc., some of his friends tell him they don't want to hang with him anymore, and he enters a deep depression?  Obviously, it may not happen ... but it happens a lot more than we'd like to think.  And it's completely avoidable, with a proper talk.



“What happens if his peers see pictures of him wearing BLUE at Disney World, and name calling starts and rumors spread that he’s straight. Some of his friends tell him they don’t want to hang with him anymore because he’s straight. And he enters a deep depression...”

You’d say “These people are insane! Who cares if he’s wearing blue or is straight?”

The real question is: “Is your child’s school district generally safe for LGBTQI kids?”

If so: “Cool. I like that one, too.”

If not: maybe focus on where you’re living and sending the child to school than the Magic Band.

You certainly can’t insulate a child from ALL issues, but they are certainly better off without friends who aren’t LGBTQI affirming. Just like they’re better off without friends who are racists, liars, or anti-Semitic.

Bullies promote fear and prey on shame. Afford them neither.


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## Asnell

CapnJacksGirl said:


> Thanks for the comments!   I fear I may be overthinking things in my efforts to make sure he is OK with things, whether it affects him directly or if he is simply a supporter of the community like me.  I think you are right....he likes the Magic Band and it is a great opportunity to instill some positive values about supporting others.  He's a pretty caring little dude so we'll have a good talk and he can wear his happy new Magic Band!



If your son is in fact gay, This is a beautiful opportunity for you to show him your support without pushing him to reveal anything to you he’s not ready to (or not sure about yet). When my son was that age, I might have commented that not only was his choice of band colorful and fun, but a great way to show support for the LGBTQ+ community. That would have allowed me to reinforce my support of LGBTQ+ folks to him without making assumptions. I think it’s important for parents of “maybe gay” kids on the cusp of adolescence to find many opportunities in day-to-day life to reinforce their support and acceptance of all things gay. It’s hard for kids to come out to their parents, even really liberal, supportive parents. And it’s hard to be 12. Good for you for being so thoughtful about this.


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## LAS2AMS

Chuck S said:


> But following your logic, schools should discontinue their music, choir, drama and other fine arts programs and focus on football, soccer and other sports, because the artistic kids are sometimes bullied.



Pulling some statistics from a 2016 NYT article (the latest I could find statistics from a reputable source): nearly 4-in-5 LGBTQ high school students feel lonely and isolated, one-in-five report have no friends at all (compared to less than 5% of straight high school students); two-thirds feel unsafe at school (nearly a fifth have reported skipping school because of it); nearly half have serious thoughts of suicide and almost one-quarter attempt it (compared to less than 5% of straight teens).

And you want to compare the bulling/harassment to that of "band nerds?"


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## Chuck S

Bullying is bullying, no matter the reason. But you seem to be saying to make choices that will help you avoid being bullied, whether it be dropping music classes, or not wearing the magic band you want to wear.

Disney is a safe place to wear the magic band, which again, is what the OPs question was about.  Posting photos of yourself while vacationing on social media is not a requirement.  Photos are easily cropped, and most photos really don't show the close details of the magic bands.  Most teens are not going to post those "uncool" photos of vacationing with their parents, anyway.  If they do, select who can see them, limit it to family and close friends.


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## Itsnotmykitchen

I’m not gay but I was a deeply self-conscious and fairly neurotic 12 year old who would have immediately switched to a solid colored band if my mom made any comment about another choice so I would just advise to get him the band without comment. The chances of anybody commenting about it in the park are really really low.


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## LAS2AMS

Chuck S said:


> Bullying is bullying, no matter the reason. But you seem to be saying to make choices that will help you avoid being bullied, whether it be dropping music classes, or not wearing the magic band you want to wear.



People of all ages feel the need to tease, taunt, harass and/or ridicule others for various reasons; we package this behavior as "bulling," and no, not all "bullying" is equal.  In my previous posting, I listed some statistics, but let's focus on the splits for males only: 3% identify as GBTQ (as opposed to 9% of females identifying as LGBTQ), over 90% report regularly being called slurs, over 70% feel uncomfortable at school, over 40% seriously consider suicide at some point, etc.  I can't stress that last statistic enough -- over 40% of GBTQ males in grade school report having serious thoughts of suicide at some point (during their youth).  Do you believe that anywhere close to 40% of "band nerds" try the same?

I'm straight, but as I discussed above, I was bullied for being "that gay kid" in school.  It was insanely vicious - I had no friends.  My former friends no longer wanted to be friends with me, my peers would protest having to sit next to me, I sat alone during lunch, and everybody was afraid of even talking to me in fear of being labeled themselves.  



> Disney is a safe place to wear the magic band, which again, is what the OPs question was about.  Posting photos of yourself while vacationing on social media is not a requirement.  Photos are easily cropped, and most photos really don't show the close details of the magic bands.  Most teens are not going to post those "uncool" photos of vacationing with their parents, anyway.  If they do, select who can see them, limit it to family and close friends.



Now this is silly.  Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision.  No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis.  Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad).  If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???


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## Chuck S

LAS2AMS said:


> Now this is silly.  Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision.  No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis.  Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad).  If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???



I don't know why you believe a 12 year old is going to plaster family vacation photos on the internet.  The two 12 year olds in my family have pretty limited internet access.  Their only social media is limited to their family and very best friends, that the parents have known for years. That is why apps and devices have parental control options. I understand that you were traumatized as a child, but that doesn't mean this child will be. We should assume that his parent(s) know their child, and are responsible people.  If they weren't, they likely would not have asked the question here in the first place.

If, on the other hand, he has full internet access, he likely already knows the significance of the rainbow and has read accounts of how people may react, both good and bad.


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## kittyab

We wore rainbows just last month at WDW, no issues.


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## kylenne

LAS2AMS said:


> People of all ages feel the need to tease, taunt, harass and/or ridicule others for various reasons; we package this behavior as "bulling," and no, not all "bullying" is equal.  In my previous posting, I listed some statistics, but let's focus on the splits for males only: 3% identify as GBTQ (as opposed to 9% of females identifying as LGBTQ), over 90% report regularly being called slurs, over 70% feel uncomfortable at school, over 40% seriously consider suicide at some point, etc.  I can't stress that last statistic enough -- over 40% of GBTQ males in grade school report having serious thoughts of suicide at some point (during their youth).  Do you believe that anywhere close to 40% of "band nerds" try the same?
> 
> I'm straight, but as I discussed above, I was bullied for being "that gay kid" in school.  It was insanely vicious - I had no friends.  My former friends no longer wanted to be friends with me, my peers would protest having to sit next to me, I sat alone during lunch, and everybody was afraid of even talking to me in fear of being labeled themselves.
> 
> 
> 
> Now this is silly.  Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision.  No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis.  Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad).  If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???



Dude I'm sorry you were bullied but I really don't know how else to tell you that 1) literally nobody is looking at random kids' magic bands at Disney Parks 2) no 12 year old in 2020 is posting pics of themselves with their families on anything 3) please stop projecting your experiences on other people.


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## LAS2AMS

Chuck S said:


> I don't know why you believe a 12 year old is going to plaster family vacation photos on the internet.  The two 12 year olds in my family have pretty limited internet access.  Their only social media is limited to their family and very best friends, that the parents have known for years. That is why apps and devices have parental control options. I understand that you were traumatized as a child, but that doesn't mean this child will be. We should assume that his parent(s) know their child, and are responsible people.  If they weren't, they likely would not have asked the question here in the first place.
> 
> If, on the other hand, he has full internet access, he likely already knows the significance of the rainbow and has read accounts of how people may react, both good and bad.



I draft my responses not for the OP's benefit, but for the benefit of the community, to stimulate thinking of those reading this thread who may find themselves in similar situations.  As I previously mentioned, I feel as if many of the responses are too Disneyfied (e.g. 'be proud of yourself'), and lack reality (ignoring the consequences).  Everybody is welcome to their own opinion and to offer ther own advice, but my fault with yours is that it's based on feeling and not fact.  

o At work, I remind my staff all the time that assumptions are dangerous, and you should never assume anything unless there's no alternative AND your confidence level is high.  Neither scenario exists here.  Last summer, my local Apple store had an Apple Watch with a rainbow band on display, and it drew the attention of oodles of kids.  Most of these kids were clueless as to the meaning of the display or band... but kids are naturally attracted to vibrant colors, and Gen Z wants to be different, so a rainbow band will stand out. 

o According to 2019 surveys conducted by Pew Research and Ed Week, 69% of 12yo report having their own smartphone, 85% report having an active social media account and more than half report having at least one account their parents don't know about.  Meanwhile, 80% of parents surveyed admit they don't routinely monitor their kids online habits.  To put that in perspective... more 12yo report having accessed (e.g. downloading, not actively using) an app like Tinder and Grinder, than those who reported they don't use social media.

o We need to stop pretending that we live in an equitable society and that strong homophobia doesn't exist.  I posted the statistics above.  Even if the kid is indeed gay, he may not be ready to come out, or may not be ready to handle the reactions he could face.  Mom and dad are suppose to be parents.  Personally, I find it troubling how many people on here wouldn't talk to their kid about the situation.  Talking to your kids... can solve or prevent a lot of problems.  And not just this one.



kylenne said:


> Dude I'm sorry you were bullied but I really don't know how else to tell you that 1) literally nobody is looking at random kids' magic bands at Disney Parks 2) no 12 year old in 2020 is posting pics of themselves with their families on anything 3) please stop projecting your experiences on other people.



I didn't make the assertion you listed as "1)."  And your second point is refuted by facts.  Also, please stick to the argument and not the person, no need to make this personal.  Thanks.


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## Chuck S

And then again, most of the time, a rainbow has no significance at all.  It's just a rainbow.  And religious folks often consider it a symbol of God's Biblical promise to not bring another world wide flood.

You're way overthinking this.  It's just a magic band.  There are times to over analyze.  The color of a kids magic band isn't one of those times.


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## Numtini

Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.


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## LAS2AMS

Chuck S said:


> And then again, most of the time, a rainbow has no significance at all.  It's just a rainbow.  And religious folks often consider it a symbol of God's Biblical promise to not bring another world wide flood.
> 
> You're way overthinking this.  It's just a magic band.  There are times to over analyze.  The color of a kids magic band isn't one of those times.



You're playing your argument both ways -- in some of your postings, you assert that every kid knows the significant of the rainbow, whereas in others you insist it's just a rainbow and people wouldn't give it a second thought.  Unfortunately, we don't live in a Disneyfied world, where a kid comes out and mom, dad & friends hug him and say 'we love you just the way you are' while tear inducing music plays.  A 2018 WP article notes that more than half of all parents with an LGBTQ teen admit they have a hard time accepting it, nearly half of all teens and young adults who are homeless identify as LGBTQ  (despite accounting for 7% of the population and 96% of LGBTQ acknowledge losing friends after they came out -- 88% of which were a close friend.  While looking this up, I came across a recent article in the OCR in which a girl claims her straight best friend started a gay-straight alliance at her (unidentified) school, and when the girl came out, her straight best friend shunned her friendship because she didn't want others to assume she was a lesbian.  We're talking about what's going on TODAY, not the 1950s when the government was producing anti-gay propaganda for screening in schools.  We live in a cruel world.

Whether the kid doesn't know the meaning of the rainbow, or he's using it as a step to come out, his parents need to have a discussion with him, to make sure he's ready.  That's simply common sense, an it's sad how many disagree.



Numtini said:


> Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.



Again, we're making false assumptions here.  Facts help -- I can find a source from 2018 that observed a school's sixth grade sex education class (so 11/12yo) and when discussing gay pride, not even half the kids knew about the rainbow.  And this is in Northern California.  I would bet that in the majority of school districts (not to be confused with the majority of students) around the country, homosexuality isn't even discussed.  Even in moderate communities, topics like homosexuality, condoms, birth control, etc. are completely off limits.

And of course, about one-in-five parents tightly control what their kids see and hear.  Heck, I have a friend who refused to let her kids watch Sponge Bob because it was too violent.


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## Numtini

So you don't have kids?


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## lorenae

I already ordered my magicbands, but darn it now I want a rainbow one. 

I’m straight, and taking my two grandsons to WDW in May.   

First of all, I like rainbows.   The whole “pot of gold”, “Noah” and support of LGBT.   

Kids draw rainbows in school.   Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow.   

What I think I really really need may be a rainbow T-shirt with “Mom hugs” on it.   If there is anyone who is ostracized by family for any reason (but most seem to be LGBT related), I would like to let them know that they are special and valuable.   

I’m glad we’re having this discussion.


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## Chuck S

LAS2AMS said:


> You're playing your argument both ways -- in some of your postings, you assert that every kid knows the significant of the rainbow, whereas in others you insist it's just a rainbow and people wouldn't give it a second thought.



You're running in circles.  People can know the significance of a rainbow to LGBT, the same people also know the significance in religion, and they can also realize, that MUCH OF THE TIME, a rainbow IS _just_ a rainbow.  It isn't an either or, there are multiple meanings depending upon situation and context.  You are arguing that there is only one.


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## disneychrista

So one should avoid where "colors" also, So they are not assumed to be associated as a gang member.

Rainbows, Red, Blue, Purple, etc all mean MORE THAN ONE THING.

Years ago I bought a rainbow mickey antenna ball. I am not gay, none of my friends or family are gay and I wasn't trying to show my support for those that are (though I do). I bought for no other reason than because I liked it.


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## PrinceEricsBich

No one is going to say anything to him at the parks! They are a safe space - everyone is welcome!


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## pirate33

Numtini said:


> Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.



This!  No way he doesn’t already know and, if not, why not just say it’s cool for him to wear it and does he know the rainbow can be a symbol of gay rights.  This may be his way of starting a discussion or coming out and it’s an opportunity to show openness.


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## erika.amicucci

I think he should be just fine. When I was about 10 I got the rainbow mickey head pin and put it on my pin lanyard because I thought it was cute. I never once had anyone say anything (good or bad) to me about it, and I used to wear that thing all over the parks.


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## wilbret

Just here to say that my 10 year old loves rainbow stuff, and I frankly don't care if anyone has anything to say about it. He collects every rainbow pin he finds, for instance. All that is to say, folks like me have got your back, whether you are wearing it to show your pride or wearing it because you like rainbows.


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## Tarilyn

CapnJacksGirl said:


> Thanks for the comments!   I fear I may be overthinking things in my efforts to make sure he is OK with things, whether it affects him directly or if he is simply a supporter of the community like me.  I think you are right....he likes the Magic Band and it is a great opportunity to instill some positive values about supporting others.  He's a pretty caring little dude so we'll have a good talk and he can wear his happy new Magic Band!



He is still a kid.  Buy it!


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## Hzuiel

Just because rainbows have been chosen to be a symbol for that community doesn't mean that it's somehow exclusive. No more so than apple choosing an apple as their logo means that the only thing anyone connects with an apple in their mind is apple computers and apple owns the apple. Wearing specifically the apple company logo would obviously be saying you like apple computers but just wearing anything apple related would not. Same thing here i would think, the magic band doesn't say pride or LGBTQ etc on it. So it's just a pretty thing he likes, it has no meaning if you don't want it to have that meaning. I do not think anyone would say anything but on the off chance they did I think my response would be something along the lines of "it's just a rainbow, moron." even if you personally are wearing it as a pride item, i would still say that, just because people that assume things annoy the crap out of me.


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## Hzuiel

Disney Frenhines said:


> Rainbows belong to everyone, after all they are a beautiful natural phenomenon.
> Not wanting to offend anyone, but, Christians, get over yourselves, your myth about the rainbow involves genocide, so the LGBTQ use of it as a symbol is much, much nicer. So, to the OP let your son wear the rainbow band and always be there for him, that's what is most important and just remember, kids know more about things than they ever let on to their parents.



Why are you singling out christians specifically? Are they the only group or religion that has ever had any issue with LGBTQ things? 
I am not aware of any christians that lay claim to rainbows as a symbol of theirs, nor any that think particularly hard about it's connection to the flood story, most probably forget that is even a thing until they come across something about it and think about it. If there are any, they're a minority.
Genocide is not the correct word, but yes a lot of people die in that story.


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## Olaf Myfrenzargay

Anti-Christian bias, it seems, is perfectly acceptable in normal discourse.  How sad that is.


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## WebmasterDoc

Since the discussion has drifted far from the topic posed almost two years ago it has now come to a close.


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