Zurg
<font color=red>Eivl <font color=navy>Emperor<br><
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2002
I guess Mrs. Swift and her stroller must have been hockey fans. She didnt try to cross the blue line. Once again Ed Van Impe saves the free world.
On to breakfast.
Breakfast-a-saurus was interesting. Now some folks take the position that they are on vacation and that means no cooking. They eat out every meal. Breakfast was something like nineteen thousand two hundred thirty nine dollars. Not bad for Disney and it is all you can eat.
Of course the kids dont eat a damn thing. Yeah this is a better value than eating cereal in the hotel, where what the actually eat costs eighty nine cents.
Well there were characters.
Like the waitress.
Lisa seemed a little loud and gruff but reasonably attentive. As she was coming over to the table with catsup to see if I needed any on my home fries, she tripped. Her she come falling at me leading with a catsup bottle aimed right me. I see the evil red slime flowing out at my brand new, super cool, way too expensive digital single lens reflex camera.
I am going to have to kill her, call Ed Van Impe.
Kim and I gasp. I am hoping the insurance she bought with the camera she gave me covers catsup.
Nothing happens.
Fake catsup.
Fake spill.
It was a gag.
Brilliant!
Ok She has our number and now we have hers. We joke breakfast away. Licensed Disney Characters come by; none is as much fun as Lisa.
She sneezed right behind me and soaked my neck. That was just hysterical.
Spray bottle.
We gave her BadShoe pin. She read the card and yelled said she had to show it to her boss. Next thing we know the manager is at our table chatting away and having a good time too. It was possibly the best reaction to getting a BadShoe pin we have ever seen. (Well until be met Bobby Joe.)
After I stuffed myself and the kids ate eighty nine cents worth of the $8.99 we paid for their breakfast, we went to see It Is Tought to be a Bug. I love the show. The kids hate the seats.
Our pal Jeff used to work Bug. When we were out cruising he recounted some stories of working the show. It seems that once the thing didnt start right something wasnt right. No problem Jeff reset it. (OK all of you with Microsoft operating systems can relate here reboot!)
So anyway Jeff resets. Jeff didnt know. Jeff didnt warn the guests. Apparently when the show resets all the Bugs in the seats need to get back to there starting points.
He said that the pace jumped more than he had ever seen. Guess the bug crawl is even freakier when there is no show on the screen.
Speaking of freaky, when we walking into Bug we were behind a big family group with two of the little electric carts. The adult (and I used the term strictly for chronological identification) children were constantly giving the two grandparents in the carts a hard time. They cut in front of the card so grandma would have to hit the breaks, then granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would have some smartass comment.
They had a few variations on this basic theme. Grandma would hit one of the snake line poles, granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would comment. Granddad would crash into grandma smashing her into one of the snake line poles, and then the adult kids would comment. Grandma would have something to say to one of the adult kids, she would loose concentration hit one of the snake line poles, granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would take the opportunity to, you guessed it, make a stupid comment.
There were constants:
1) The adult kids behaved worse than most of the three year olds I have ever seen.
2) Granddad hit grandma every time she stopped; whether she hit a pole, hit one of the adult kids or just stopped to yell at someone.
3) Grandma hit every single one of the snake line poles, at least once, most poles were hit many times.
4) Grandma has something to say to everyone
I would have laughed out loud by I think granny would have killed me.
We beat a hasty exit to get out before Demolition Derby Granny and made a path to use our Fast Passes for the Safari. The kids played with the new camera the whole time. Digital is great, no film cost. I think they took a hundred pictures, maybe even some good ones.
Connors started to crash going into the Festival of the Lion King. We gave him the normal amount of juice but when we sat down and tested his blood he was still low. Kim went down and talked to a CM on the floor. I could see the chain of command work through the CMs to the manager. He was great; in fact he wanted to do more than just point Kim to the nearest open food stand but that was enough, well than and let Connor eat in the stands. A little rest and some more carbs, blood level was fine but Connor was being a grouch.
After the show we bumped into a guy with a guitar. So we sat down to listen. Now the typical guest reads their commando mission map to the parks and rushes from one big name attraction to the next. They just walk right past entertainers like this guy and that is what they were doing.
We sat right down and started clapping along. He started working stuff about us into his songs and we played along even more. Delaney was wearing a Millionaire hat (mine she hadnt earned one yet) and he sang no one is smarter than Delaney, especially Connor It was great. He made up a song about Kelley as the President of BadShoe.com after reading her shirt. He twisted into a song about Bennet the Red Nosed Reindeer. We made so much noise laughing he attracted a good little crowd. He riffed on school he riffed on girls (Delaney) being smart and boys (Connor) being dumb. He picked on the rest of the crowd once they joined in, it was great.
After his show, we gave him a BadShoe pin. He put it right onto his guitar strap and improvised a BadShoe song. His name was Guitar Dan, look him up his show is outstanding. Very likely the best show I have seen at AK.
Blair wanted to ride Kali River Rapids. It was cold. No one else did. OK this was the deal, I would stay in AK with him (but not ride - I am not that stupid.) Kim and the other kids would take the car back to the Dolphin. Blair understood that this meant he was going back in the bus wet.
At least that is what I thought at the time.
Blair got in line. I went to the bathroom where there was a tour group trying to dry their clothes and shoes with the hand driers. Kim left for the parking lot.
Blair rode and didnt get a drop on him. I took pictures of tigers. Kim couldnt find the car.
Blair was getting off the ride when she called asking if I knew where the car was. She was seriously ticked off.
As Blair and I walked out of AK, Kim and the kids were walking every row of the parking lot looking for a white rental van, our white rental van. After a half hour they were still looking, walking down each row yelling, White Butt, White Butt! every time they saw the back of white van.
They found the car an hour after they had left Blair and me. It was just as we were finding them again that they found the car. I make it very clear to Blair he is to say NOTHING about knowing where the car was. We both did. Saying so would be fatal.
This would call for drastic measures. They are not happy.
On to breakfast.
Breakfast-a-saurus was interesting. Now some folks take the position that they are on vacation and that means no cooking. They eat out every meal. Breakfast was something like nineteen thousand two hundred thirty nine dollars. Not bad for Disney and it is all you can eat.
Of course the kids dont eat a damn thing. Yeah this is a better value than eating cereal in the hotel, where what the actually eat costs eighty nine cents.
Well there were characters.
Like the waitress.
Lisa seemed a little loud and gruff but reasonably attentive. As she was coming over to the table with catsup to see if I needed any on my home fries, she tripped. Her she come falling at me leading with a catsup bottle aimed right me. I see the evil red slime flowing out at my brand new, super cool, way too expensive digital single lens reflex camera.
I am going to have to kill her, call Ed Van Impe.
Kim and I gasp. I am hoping the insurance she bought with the camera she gave me covers catsup.
Nothing happens.
Fake catsup.
Fake spill.
It was a gag.
Brilliant!
Ok She has our number and now we have hers. We joke breakfast away. Licensed Disney Characters come by; none is as much fun as Lisa.
She sneezed right behind me and soaked my neck. That was just hysterical.
Spray bottle.
We gave her BadShoe pin. She read the card and yelled said she had to show it to her boss. Next thing we know the manager is at our table chatting away and having a good time too. It was possibly the best reaction to getting a BadShoe pin we have ever seen. (Well until be met Bobby Joe.)
After I stuffed myself and the kids ate eighty nine cents worth of the $8.99 we paid for their breakfast, we went to see It Is Tought to be a Bug. I love the show. The kids hate the seats.
Our pal Jeff used to work Bug. When we were out cruising he recounted some stories of working the show. It seems that once the thing didnt start right something wasnt right. No problem Jeff reset it. (OK all of you with Microsoft operating systems can relate here reboot!)
So anyway Jeff resets. Jeff didnt know. Jeff didnt warn the guests. Apparently when the show resets all the Bugs in the seats need to get back to there starting points.
He said that the pace jumped more than he had ever seen. Guess the bug crawl is even freakier when there is no show on the screen.
Speaking of freaky, when we walking into Bug we were behind a big family group with two of the little electric carts. The adult (and I used the term strictly for chronological identification) children were constantly giving the two grandparents in the carts a hard time. They cut in front of the card so grandma would have to hit the breaks, then granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would have some smartass comment.
They had a few variations on this basic theme. Grandma would hit one of the snake line poles, granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would comment. Granddad would crash into grandma smashing her into one of the snake line poles, and then the adult kids would comment. Grandma would have something to say to one of the adult kids, she would loose concentration hit one of the snake line poles, granddad would crash into grandma, and then the adult kids would take the opportunity to, you guessed it, make a stupid comment.
There were constants:
1) The adult kids behaved worse than most of the three year olds I have ever seen.
2) Granddad hit grandma every time she stopped; whether she hit a pole, hit one of the adult kids or just stopped to yell at someone.
3) Grandma hit every single one of the snake line poles, at least once, most poles were hit many times.
4) Grandma has something to say to everyone
I would have laughed out loud by I think granny would have killed me.
We beat a hasty exit to get out before Demolition Derby Granny and made a path to use our Fast Passes for the Safari. The kids played with the new camera the whole time. Digital is great, no film cost. I think they took a hundred pictures, maybe even some good ones.
Connors started to crash going into the Festival of the Lion King. We gave him the normal amount of juice but when we sat down and tested his blood he was still low. Kim went down and talked to a CM on the floor. I could see the chain of command work through the CMs to the manager. He was great; in fact he wanted to do more than just point Kim to the nearest open food stand but that was enough, well than and let Connor eat in the stands. A little rest and some more carbs, blood level was fine but Connor was being a grouch.
After the show we bumped into a guy with a guitar. So we sat down to listen. Now the typical guest reads their commando mission map to the parks and rushes from one big name attraction to the next. They just walk right past entertainers like this guy and that is what they were doing.
We sat right down and started clapping along. He started working stuff about us into his songs and we played along even more. Delaney was wearing a Millionaire hat (mine she hadnt earned one yet) and he sang no one is smarter than Delaney, especially Connor It was great. He made up a song about Kelley as the President of BadShoe.com after reading her shirt. He twisted into a song about Bennet the Red Nosed Reindeer. We made so much noise laughing he attracted a good little crowd. He riffed on school he riffed on girls (Delaney) being smart and boys (Connor) being dumb. He picked on the rest of the crowd once they joined in, it was great.
After his show, we gave him a BadShoe pin. He put it right onto his guitar strap and improvised a BadShoe song. His name was Guitar Dan, look him up his show is outstanding. Very likely the best show I have seen at AK.
Blair wanted to ride Kali River Rapids. It was cold. No one else did. OK this was the deal, I would stay in AK with him (but not ride - I am not that stupid.) Kim and the other kids would take the car back to the Dolphin. Blair understood that this meant he was going back in the bus wet.
At least that is what I thought at the time.
Blair got in line. I went to the bathroom where there was a tour group trying to dry their clothes and shoes with the hand driers. Kim left for the parking lot.
Blair rode and didnt get a drop on him. I took pictures of tigers. Kim couldnt find the car.
Blair was getting off the ride when she called asking if I knew where the car was. She was seriously ticked off.
As Blair and I walked out of AK, Kim and the kids were walking every row of the parking lot looking for a white rental van, our white rental van. After a half hour they were still looking, walking down each row yelling, White Butt, White Butt! every time they saw the back of white van.
They found the car an hour after they had left Blair and me. It was just as we were finding them again that they found the car. I make it very clear to Blair he is to say NOTHING about knowing where the car was. We both did. Saying so would be fatal.
This would call for drastic measures. They are not happy.
