Based on your requirements, you would probably be happiest staying onsite. All three of the hotels are awesome, and the walk through downtown disney to get to the parks is safe and well-lit at night. PPH is a bright, cheerful hotel filled with subtle disney touches that your daughter might like. Also, the views of DCA are great, if you choose to splurge for a view room. It has less of a resort feel and feels more isolated than the GCH or DLR, but if you cut through the GCH the walk will be less than 10 minutes. If the PPH is all you can afford, then go for it, it is still a lovely hotel , just less upscale than others.
But if you do find a good discount, the GCH will give you a nice resort feel similar to the deluxes at WDW. It is super close, has a nice, woodsy feel to it, and will give your husband a relaxing break from disney whenever he feels the needs it. The DLH is also great, but further away and it might be too much disney for your husband (as a PP mentioned). But the pools are some of the best in the area! But based on what you said, the grand californian would fit you best if you can afford it. Keep looking for discounts, check orbitz and expedia, and call disney to ask about specials. Unfortunately, disneyland does not have as much deals as WDW, especially in peak season, but occasionally they run promotions.
Offsite is adequate for many people, but we can clearly see that it won't really fit your needs. There simply isn't any nice upscale hotels within easy walking distance of disneyland aside from the onsite hotels. The higher end ones, like the hyatt regency, the doubletree suites, and the hilton and marriotts are all further south near the convention center, so you will have to take shuttles. The ones right across the street are clean and adequate, for the most part, but they are simply motels, which are not suitable for those who want more of a resort orieted vacation. The hojo and farfield inn are probably the closest things you can find to a "deluxe" hotel within walking distance.
All in all, if what you are really after is a resort style vacation, you will have to pay much, much more than you anticipated for the GCH or DLH. But if you do not want to spend 500$ per night, the PPH is still a great hotel and you will have loads of fun no matter where you spend the night!
Good luck!