Was this weird of my mom? Sitting by bedroom @ night

[Callie]

When I was growing up, when it was bed time, my mom would sit in the doorway of our rooms while we were trying to fall asleep. It was generally about 30 minutes to 45 minutes (long time ago, hard to remember). Is this normal? I'm not sure why she did it, but I remember it was very comforting. She usually passed the time grading school papers.

 

[themilesfamily]

Did any of you have anxiety about being in the dark or sleeping alone? Maybe she did it to reduce that anxiety?

 

[Coconut36]

Depends on ages of you and your sibling at the time. I know parents who have done this because the kids keep coming out of their rooms (generally toddler/preschool age) or in situations where the child has some sort of nighttime stress in falling asleep (or a transition from parents laying down with them at bedtime). If you were both teens..yeah weird. If you (or your sibling) were pretty young not so weird.

 

[Hannathy]

I think it was sweet and loving! I used to sit with my kids when they were little and falling asleep.

Now like someone said if your were 15 I'd wonder how many times you must have snuck out of the house to live a life of crime that she had to keep guard!

 

[Callie]

I think it probably stopped around 3rd grade! Now that I do remember, I did sleep walk out the front door once pretty early in the evening. Maybe that was the secret plan
I dont remember being afraid of sleeping or the dark, but I could have been. Maybe I'll ask her tomorrow. Wasn't sure if anyone else ever did this for their kids!

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

My husband and I used to take turns laying on the floor in our, at the time, DS3's and DD4's bedroom. At the time we lived in a much smaller house and they shared a bedroom. It was to keep them from getting out of bed and to reassure them. However, when it was my husband's turn, he would frequently fall asleep before them and they'd be having a toddler party in the room until I'd check on them.

 

[Happy 2 B Me]

Each evening I would get daughter bathed and ready for bed. Next I would crawl under the covers with her while I read a book to her or just talk with her about her day. Spending the 20 -30 minutes each evening laying in the darkened room was some of the best spent time of my day. Not sure if it is the darkness or the feeling of being secure with mom near but daughter would share her days fun and even bad times. If I had not taken the time to lay down with her she might never have shared this information. I know as busy moms we could use that 20-30 mins to fold clothes, do dishes, read a news paper. But hearing your daughter talk to you about school, friends, and homework ended up being so much better.

My daughter never had a nightmare nor was she ever afraid of the dark. I wonder if having me near her each evening was a factor?

Oh well Kudos to the mom's and dads that take time to make their kids feel safe and sound each evening.

 

[elaine amj]

done it...when my kids were little and had sleep issues.

once they got over it, I hightailed it back to my own bed.

 

[mjkacmom]

My daughter never had a nightmare nor was she ever afraid of the dark. I wonder if having me near her each evening was a factor?

Oh well Kudos to the mom's and dads that take time to make their kids feel safe and sound each evening.

No nightmares here, kids fall right to sleep, and they all got the "goodnight, don't let the bedbugs bite, I love you" line, and that's it (when they were little, they got a story. They feel safe and sound (and I can't imagine going through a routine for 5 of them!).

When our friends had the first baby, and had a get together, the mom left for about an hour, with this huge put baby to bed routine. DH and I vowed to never start such a thing (I didn't have one as a kid, and was a great sleeper). We love our one line bedtime routine.

 

[mombrontrent]

I have done this a few times but only when they were having a hard time staying in their own rooms and I wanted them to get to sleep

 

[Ceila]

Each evening I would get daughter bathed and ready for bed. Next I would crawl under the covers with her while I read a book to her or just talk with her about her day. Spending the 20 -30 minutes each evening laying in the darkened room was some of the best spent time of my day. Not sure if it is the darkness or the feeling of being secure with mom near but daughter would share her days fun and even bad times. If I had not taken the time to lay down with her she might never have shared this information. I know as busy moms we could use that 20-30 mins to fold clothes, do dishes, read a news paper. But hearing your daughter talk to you about school, friends, and homework ended up being so much better.

My daughter never had a nightmare nor was she ever afraid of the dark. I wonder if having me near her each evening was a factor?

Oh well Kudos to the mom's and dads that take time to make their kids feel safe and sound each evening.

I actually did (and still do) that, but I also realize that what works best for my children doesn't necessarily work best for everyone else's children. There are many, many ways to make kids feel safe and secure.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Each evening I would get daughter bathed and ready for bed. Next I would crawl under the covers with her while I read a book to her or just talk with her about her day. Spending the 20 -30 minutes each evening laying in the darkened room was some of the best spent time of my day. Not sure if it is the darkness or the feeling of being secure with mom near but daughter would share her days fun and even bad times. If I had not taken the time to lay down with her she might never have shared this information. I know as busy moms we could use that 20-30 mins to fold clothes, do dishes, read a news paper. But hearing your daughter talk to you about school, friends, and homework ended up being so much better.

My daughter never had a nightmare nor was she ever afraid of the dark. I wonder if having me near her each evening was a factor?

Oh well Kudos to the mom's and dads that take time to make their kids feel safe and sound each evening.

I hope you don't hurt your shoulder patting yourself on the back.

 

[mumto3girls]

done it...when my kids were little and had sleep issues.

once they got over it, I hightailed it back to my own bed.

This. I never specifically sat in the doorway, but when my girls were little and would wake up in the crib fussing and I ruled out sick, wet, hungry etc and thought they just were having trouble getting back to sleep I would sit in the rocking chair in their room with them or lay on the floor until they went back to sleep. My youngest(6)will sometimes ask if one of us will sit with her or lay with her until she falls asleep. If that started to be an every night thing I could see phasing it out by sitting in the doorway. OP your mom probably needed the lighta from the hallway to mark papers.

 

[almburr]

My mom would always check to see if I was still breathing (never had health problems). She also checked the pilot light on the gas stove 10 times before we left the house, OCD.

Personally when kids were little DH and I would tuck kids in and tell them goodnight and that was it. Now the kids like to go to bed by themselves.

DS7 tends to sleep walk. But he always sleep walks into our room and will try and sit on DH's head.

 

[npmommie]

However, when it was my husband's turn, he would frequently fall asleep before them and they'd be having a toddler party in the room until I'd check on them.

omg this made me laugh so hard, toddler rotfl2:

 

[Stitchfans]

I hope you don't hurt your shoulder patting yourself on the back.

That comment was unnecessary, just mean. All she was doing was reminiscing about happy times with her child. I myself enjoy sitting back and talking to my DDs about their day. I am so thankful they find it easy to open up to me and come to me. They are adults now and have done so since they were little.

I sometimes would snuggle with my DD's while reading to them or if they were sick I'd hold them until they fell asleep. It was nice to have a routine to follow such as bath time, story time, prayers so on.

 

[sunshinehighway]

That comment was unnecessary, just mean. All she was doing was reminiscing about happy times with her child. I myself enjoy sitting back and talking to my DDs about their day. I am so thankful they find it easy to open up to me and come to me. They are adults now and have done so since they were little.

I sometimes would snuggle with my DD's while reading to them or if they were sick I'd hold them until they fell asleep. It was nice to have a routine to follow such as bath time, story time, prayers so on.

I don't think that was all she was doing. I found parts of the post to be judgmental of parents who don't sit with their kids at night.

I don't see anything wrong with snuggling with your child at night but, I highly doubt parents who don't do that simply can't be bothered with taking the time to make their child feel safe and secure.

 

[Shagley]

I hope you don't hurt your shoulder patting yourself on the back.

Ah, there is the lovely attitude that makes the DIS so "friendly" these days!

 

[MomofKatie]

When I was growing up, when it was bed time, my mom would sit in the doorway of our rooms while we were trying to fall asleep. It was generally about 30 minutes to 45 minutes (long time ago, hard to remember). Is this normal? I'm not sure why she did it, but I remember it was very comforting. She usually passed the time grading school papers.

Bolded says it all. It was comforting to you. That's why she did it- that's what moms do.

I never did stuff like that with DD, but she was always a good sleeper with no issues about darkness or lonliness. I probably would have, if she needed me to.

 

[leebee]

Each evening... I would crawl under the covers with her while I read a book to her or just talk with her about her day. Spending the 20 -30 minutes each evening laying in the darkened room was some of the best spent time of my day. Not sure if it is the darkness or the feeling of being secure with mom near but daughter would share her days fun and even bad times. If I had not taken the time to lay down with her she might never have shared this information. I know as busy moms we could use that 20-30 mins to fold clothes, do dishes, read a news paper. But hearing your daughter talk to you about school, friends, and homework ended up being so much better.

I did the exact same thing, and those 20-30 minutes were the very best minutes of my day! I did that for YEARS, at DD's request. Over the years it changed to just talking in her room while she was settling into bed, but she's always wanted a little bit of "mommy/daughter time" at the end of the day. Even now, when she comes home from college, she'll sometimes ask if I want to come talk while she "gets ready." Of course I do!! (Oh heck, now I'm ready to cry... it's dd's 19th birthday and I just wish she was here to celebrate!) You're tugging on my heartstrings with this post!

and ps... snarky/mean posters should be ignored...