Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[marmalade]

IMHO--a child on a leash is fine--as long as they are still with the parents. If the child can "wander" more than one person's stride (front-back-sideways) then they need to be reigned back in. My sister was such a runner my mom had to put her in a harness and loop it through the clothesline just so my sister could get some sunshine and not be stuck in the house

I can't imagine what your neighbors must have thought.

 

[maxiesmom]

IMHO--a child on a leash is fine--as long as they are still with the parents. If the child can "wander" more than one person's stride (front-back-sideways) then they need to be reigned back in. My sister was such a runner my mom had to put her in a harness and loop it through the clothesline just so my sister could get some sunshine and not be stuck in the house

My brother in law used to be tied out in his yard on a rope.

I have no problems with people wanting to use a safety leash. As long as they realize it is not a substitute for paying attention to their child. It is an "addition to" not an "instead of" item. Been at the mall and seen way too many parents who think having their child on a leash means they can totally ignore them.

 

[RoyalMom]

Funny story. I had my son with the Monkey backpack harness. This mom stopped to chastise me at WDW about how awful it was to treat my child like a dog. While she was yelling at me her little angel ran off into a store. I kept my eye on her to make sure she was safe. When she was done yelling, I calmy looked at her and said, "I know where my child is do you know where yours is?" To which she replied, "of course, she is right next to me she does not wander, I know how to control my ............" When she looked down and frantically started calling for her. I said to her, "while you were busy being a busy body not only did I know where my son was, I knew where your daughter was too - she is in that store right there." SHe just walked off and proceeded to yell at her DD for running off and making her look bad.

Who gives a rat's hiney what other parents think of you.

The monkey one my DS even likes to wear around the house. He thinks it is his "friend".

*CLAP CLAP CLAP* Cheers to you! I live for stories like this...

 

[CandleontheWater]

A child running around while his parents ignore him can trip others when NOT on a leash, too. I have the X-rays to prove it.

This is a big reason why many parents do use the harness. I don't want my child to run in front of an elderly person and cause them to trip and fall. In many cases the harness isn't just for the kids protection, but to protect others as well.

I also don't want my kid accidentally stepping on anyone's toes, or god forbid, running in front of an ECV and getting hit. There are lots of good reasons to use a harness in a place like WDW.

 

[pigletto]

Thankfully my children are too old for me to have to worry about this anymore. My dd I wouldn't have considered it because she was always glued to me and shy. My ds? He was full of beans and so excited by everything!! At 3 he wanted to go go go and would not have been happy in a stroller for long. He also would have wandered off in the direction of anything shiny at a moments notice. I never lost him, but I spent so much time chasing and worrying.
He grew out of it mostly by our first Disney trip, but had I taken him when he was younger it would have been a good option for us.
I never see a child with a harness and think "Oh poor thing". I just assume they are runners and their parents don't want to lose them in the crowds.

 

[Talking Hands]

I use a harness with my grandson. He has been walking since he was 8 months and really doesn't like his stroller. So he either rides on the foot plate of my wheelchair or we use a harness as it would be difficult for me to chase him. It lets grandpa sit and people watch while we go to a show or ride or play on a playground. If anyone has a problem with that that, to bad. We'll do what works for our situation.

 

[arcticdisneylovers]

I had one of these for my grandson:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-MICKEY-...pt=UK_Baby_Baby_Safety_ET&hash=item3373e64b09

What do you care what other people think? If you have a runner, you need to keep him safe!

That is soooo cute, the only reason people will be staring is because it's so cute Seriously though you don't care what people think of you, ignore them. You'll never see any of them again anyway Our DD stuck to us like glue and still does but if I had a runner I would not hesitate to use something to ease my mind If anyone had the nerve to say anything to me I would "politely" tell them to mind their own business or just ignore them. Have a great trip

 

[nadira36]

Personally we're not the leashing type. With 3 kiddos we don't leash. However we do use the buggy for certain situations. We also use a carrier. If we can't pay full (or at least 70%) attention to the kiddos, then they need to be contained.

We lost our (then) 2 year old for 45 min a coupe trips ago. I thought DH was watching the girls, he thought I was, we both looked at the menu at the same time and she was gone (from Pop). We were eating beast, then heading to the airport. She wanted to go back to see the Mouse. She walked off beside another family, and right onto the ME bus.

It was 2 seconds worth of inattention, and that's all it takes. It doesn't matter how 'attached' or how attentive we are the rest of the time, those 2 seconds are what mattered. If we'd had a little pack on her with a tether, we wouldn't have ruses to the pool terrified, we wouldn't have dashed to the streets wondering if a bus would even see a toddler. We wouldn't have thought about the hundreds of cars within seconds of the resort doors.

In the parks I wouldn't be as concerned, but in the resort? there's really no safety to prevent a child from being snatched. There's no safety to prevent a child from falling into the pool, there's no safety to prevent a child from falling in a lagoon and being eaten by an alligator!

I don't leash now, I'd said once before I never would. I've looked down on those who do leash, and will probably still get annoyed when I see a parent dragging their leashed child along rather than paying attention to said child. However I will not say leashes are inherently bad. And on our next trip (116 days away) I will probably leash our soon to be 19 mos old.

We wills till pay attention to our children. We will still use the carrier, we will still use the buggy, but they will each be used at different times and for different reasons. Each item will allow our children to feel secure while also allowing them to feel independent. Win-win IMO.

 

[momtoamulan]

And we will be bringing..the first time she doesnt hold a hand or stay in stroller..on it goes!

 

[CarolineB]

A child running around while his parents ignore him can trip others when NOT on a leash, too. I have the X-rays to prove it.

Sometimes the parent's ignore their kids even when they're in the stroller. Yesterday, a guy drove his kid's stroller into a lamp post because he was looking at his cell phone while walking.

 

[NotUrsula]

again.. I wish they had invented those wonderful, cute child restraints (you don't HAVE to call them leashes) when my kids were little... heck, I wish I had invented them!!!!

But they did; safety reins (the correct term, fwiw) have been in use in various places around the world for at least 400 years. Use declined in most places after the invention of the insulated cooking stove; the original reason that most parents used them was to keep toddlers a safe distance from household fires.

In the old days when even boys wore dresses when they were little, this is why there was almost always a bow on the garment that tied in the back. It wasn't for decoration; those were the "leading strings" and they were built into the garment so that you could use them to keep a child a safe distance back from a hazard; when they were not needed you could just loop them into a bow.

My favorite harness design are still the ones that are sold in the UK; they have the rein attached to the harness in a way that is much harder for a child to detach, and it doesn't trip bystanders or the child because it attaches behind both shoulders and falls as a loop to a few inches below the child's knees if you let it dangle. (There is also normally a second short set of straps that comes with it; those are used to loop from the harness back onto a chair or a stroller seat to prevent the child from escaping from it while your back is turned.) This example is a brand called Clippasafe:

I've told this story here before, but when my oldest siblings were little my mother was walking home with them in a hilly neighborhood along a busy street, baby in a buggy and toddler on a rein; this happened during WW2. Mom tripped on the curb and fell and knocked herself unconscious. The stroller rolled into the traffic when she let go of it (luckily my brother by some miracle was was NOT killed), but the toddler was held in place by the rein. The stroller rolled two blocks before someone managed to run out and stop it, so ever after that my mother was hyper-vigilant about not just using a safety rein with the walking toddler, but also looping a line from the stroller handle around her wrist, just in case. That's the great thing about a safety rein that no one ever thinks about -- it also gives you a way to keep the child from wandering if YOU somehow get hurt and temporarily cannot take out after him.

 

[nadira36]

My MIL often talks about using a safety rein when DH was little. And ultimately that's the reason I previously vowed never to use one. She laughs as she tells how he'd run away,t hen she'd pull the leash so he'd fall over backwards. He'd get up and do it again, she'd pull him again. She laughs and laughs as she compared him to a dog. She also tells how she'd tie him out int he yard while she was inside.

I had a child, not a dog. I will not use it to ignore my child, the way my MIL did.

But as NotUrsula said, originally they were used to keep small children safe from serious injury. Or as my Grandma says, they were also used to hold toddlers in place while photos were taken.

 

[2princesses1minnie]

I was worried about my twin DDs 21 mos when we went. I bought rubber bracelets with our cell numbers on them in case they got lost. I decided not to look into any leashes because we had plenty of adults with us and my kids are not runners. It was not too crowded either. We are going back next year and I think we will be okay since they will be 3. That being said, every kid is different and their needs are different. If anyone gives you looks or comments, then they need to get a life. Safety is the most important thing! Good Luck

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Yep, I'm sure it would be less embarassing to run after her into the street and have her get hit by a car. Sure you can chase your child, and hey that could be your gym workout, but while running after your little darling, you are not in control of his or her safetly. How is that safe? Or is your public embarassement more important than safety? You could keep them in the stroller, but of course they certainly won't be physically healthy if they spend all their time sitting, now will they?

It't not safe but i've also taught my child not to run into streets. I also hold her wrist vs hand on the sidewalk. I also pick her up if we are crossing high traffic spots just in case. Leashes are not a majority because MOST people can handle their kids. There is a reason why people don't really use them. It's embarrassing for all parties. I think "Modern Family" showed well that no matter what you call it it's a leash for a child. If you keep your child engaged and if you take there lead there is no need to worry about them running off. It's parenting, no one said it would be easy. It's not for safety as much as it is for parents not to have to watch their kids.

 

[marmalade]

It't not safe but i've also taught my child not to run into streets. I also hold her wrist vs hand on the sidewalk. I also pick her up if we are crossing high traffic spots just in case. Leashes are not a majority because MOST people can handle their kids. There is a reason why people don't really use them. It's embarrassing for all parties. I think "Modern Family" showed well that no matter what you call it it's a leash for a child. If you keep your child engaged and if you take there lead there is no need to worry about them running off. It's parenting, no one said it would be easy. It's not for safety as much as it is for parents not to have to watch their kids.

It sounds like you have ONE child. There are millions of children our there with all different types of personalities and abilities. What works for YOU and your ONE child doesn't necessarily mean it works for every child.

I never had to use a leash on my kids, because they liked to sit in the stroller. But I would NEVER judge another parent who chooses that as an option to keep their kids save.

What kind of lesson would I be teaching my kids if I judge another parent on their parenting skills? That it's OK to judge others if they do something differently than we do? NOPE, not how I want to raise my kids.

 

[Boiseboone]

It't not safe but i've also taught my child not to run into streets. I also hold her wrist vs hand on the sidewalk. I also pick her up if we are crossing high traffic spots just in case. Leashes are not a majority because MOST people can handle their kids. There is a reason why people don't really use them. It's embarrassing for all parties. I think "Modern Family" showed well that no matter what you call it it's a leash for a child. If you keep your child engaged and if you take there lead there is no need to worry about them running off. It's parenting, no one said it would be easy. It's not for safety as much as it is for parents not to have to watch their kids.

Correction: It's embarrassing for you. Just as I don't get to decide how you feel on any given day, you don't get to decide how I feel.

As I tell my kids, one of the great things about our world is the diversity that we see every day. Parenting styles are different in different families. Approaches to discipline are different.

Show me a study that conclusively states that using safety reins leads to negative outcomes (insecurity, addiction, life of crime, whatever) and I'll rethink whether I need to start arbitrarily judging people on their choice to use them.

Honestly, there are so many parenting choices that we could judge each other on (TV vs. no TV, clothing selection, ear piercing, positive vs. negative reinforcement, self-weaning for breastfeeding, time outs, private vs. public schools, etc.) that it seems a little silly to base your entire opinion of a parent based on their use of a device that you don't care for.

One thing I'm fairly sure most of us parents have in common: We love our kids beyond all else. We want what is best for them. What's best for you might not be best for me, and vice versa. Let's all keep that in mind before we get too judgy-judgy, mmmmkay?

 

[momof3ds]

Great, you have one kid. I have 3. I was (and still am) alone with them the majority of the time.

baby in the stroller, 2 year old in the stroller and a 4 year old. All 3 of mine went through a stage where they didn't want to listen.

They would get a chance and if they didn't stay by me or have their hands on the stroller, We would use a backpack harness with a leash.

Each of them went through this, including the baby. Took about 3-6 months before they decided staying with me was easier and then they wore the harnesses for fun.

It't not safe but i've also taught my child not to run into streets. I also hold her wrist vs hand on the sidewalk. I also pick her up if we are crossing high traffic spots just in case. Leashes are not a majority because MOST people can handle their kids. There is a reason why people don't really use them. It's embarrassing for all parties. I think "Modern Family" showed well that no matter what you call it it's a leash for a child. If you keep your child engaged and if you take there lead there is no need to worry about them running off. It's parenting, no one said it would be easy. It's not for safety as much as it is for parents not to have to watch their kids.

 

[NotUrsula]

There is a reason why people don't really use them. It's embarrassing for all parties.

With all due respect, that's horsepucky.

The reason why "people" don't often use them is that the vast majority of American toddlers today live in the suburbs and are very seldom exposed to situations where they must walk for transportation reasons in high-traffic urban areas. It's not always so easy to pick your child up and carry her across the street when you are also carrying 4 bags of groceries home from the store.

Trust me, they are much more commonly used in urban areas, especially in Europe, where a pedestrian lifestyle is much more prevalent.

Besides all that, toddlers could not give two hoots about embarassment. (We're talking about toddlers here; they have been known to like to finger-paint with poop, remember?) If they do not like reins, it is because they don't like being restrained in any way. A toddler who hates the very idea of reins is also most likely going to be a toddler who hates holding hands.

I'm really happy for you that you have a compliant child who learns easily and is content to do as she is told. Not all kids are that easy, and some of them are impulsive enough to jerk their hand out of your grip and run into the street just that one time no matter how many times you have made it clear that it is dangerous. FWIW, if you read psychologial literature, you'll find that most experts agree that the average child does not truly understand the concept of danger until age 3; expecting an 18-month old to be aware of it every single time is not realistic.

 

[JohnBilotti]

Those people who give you "the look" for "leashing" your child will give you an even MORE judgemental look when you are shouting for a child who has wandered off or dared to walk into their path...

Ignore the looks and trust your gut.

A hint that worked with my oldest (who remains a runner at age 8) when she was little... put the harness on, then thread the seatbelt of the stroller through the harness straps. It basically changes the 1-point seatbelt into a five-point seatbelt and really slows them down if they try to bolt... in my Bella's case, she fussed with it for a few minutes, conceded defeat, and from then on we were in the clear (in her case it was in a red wagon that had seatbelts and she would jump out as I was pulling it along behind me... but the seatbelts were the standard type and a stroller would be the same way, except you'll have a better view of your little houdini trying to escape.

Have a safe and happy trip!

I agree

 

[JohnBilotti]

I hate leashes with a passion and would never use one, and hate seeing them on kids. And especially when I see them on kids 3 and up! (that aren't special needs)

There is a middle ground between being in the stroller and holding hands. I only held my toddlers hands for serious things like parking lots or crossing streets. At Disney or stores they walked with me or held onto the stroller or cart.
Children can be taught to stay with you, you have to be consistent and tough. They have to know you mean it every single time, no exceptions.

There can be a few special cases with special needs children but even then not all children.

I agree