Thanks for the support

[Freyja]

I´m so sorry. Sending all my best wishes your way.

 

[Pembo]

I'm so sorry. If it was me, I'd print those emails NOW and then I'd pack the baby and head home for awhile to figure things out. Good luck to you......

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh, I am soooo sorry!!!

I agree with everyone else...

If you have not said anything, I would not confront him...

Right now, YOU have all the cards..
The minute this becomes a confrontation, he will then be likely to begin to take any actions that are not in your best interest.

Take action to protect yourself financially, legally, etc...

Can you possibly "take the baby for an extended visit to see your family"...

I wonder if getting out of state before any actions are taken would be in your favor, if you wish to move back home. This is an important question for a lawyer.

I am sooooo sorry!!!

 

[Nancyg56]

emails that are about her buying a new mattress and details about what he'd like to do to her on that new mattress.

Oh I just don't know what to say

Others have had good advice for you and I really cannot add to it. I cannot see any difference between "email" cheating and any other kind but I am not the one in your shoes so I don;t know what I would do.

Do you have any family who could stay with you or that you could visit for a while? Sometimes removing yourself from the pain can help you think clearly. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Robinrs]

Man... I'm so sorry you saw that. It's going to be so hard to delete from your memory.

hugs... I've been there, done that...TOO many times. I always listened to my Mom and made sure I had my own options, it's imperative to give you power. My parents were married 63 years and she still preached this to us... she was right.

Hugs again, I hate to see such an awesome person going through this. I wish I could just make it go away for you but I know that you're a survivor and you WILL survive.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[pixiechick]

Alison

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the hurt you're feeling right now.

You're getting good advice here. Good luck with whatever decisions you make.

 

[RadioNate]

ugh. I know you feel sick. I feel sick for you.

I just will never understand why people do this to each other. Don't they think about their spouse(s), children, and self-respect?
Is this woman married? Divorced? Have kids?

I don't know.

I've looked up divorce laws and am calling a lawyer. I need to know my options. It looks like FL allows alimony (we moved her from TX and they don't) which I'll need at least for a while.

I REALLY REALLY want to move home but it looks like the state is against separating kids from their parents except in very specific situations (abuse). My uncle owns a business at home and I know would give me a job at the best possible salary and my mom has a huge house we could live in until I get back on my feet.

My DS keeps asking me why I'm crying and I'm really trying to act like nothing is wrong.

 

[rie'smom]

Well personally here is what I would do (which may or may not work for you): I wouldn't confront him, if I'd been to counselling for months and thought it was working out to find out he was lying - I would be getting my ducks in a row. By that I mean consulting a good divorce attorney, setting aside some money that he didn't know about and planning a visit home. If I was that far from my family I would tell him I want to take the baby and go for a visit. Pack up my stuff and have the divorce papers served after I left... Now whether that would get me into legal trouble I don't know - that's why I would see the divorce attorney first thing.

Don't act rashly. I agree with what Briarfox posted.

I'm so sorry. If it was me, I'd print those emails NOW and then I'd pack the baby and head home for awhile to figure things out. Good luck to you......

Document,document,document!!!!! Print copies of the emails, get copies of the cell phone bill and the house phone bill. Even if you decide to stay, keep these in a safe place because he's shown he's untrustworthy.

Lastly, I'm very sorry for your heartbreak. Know that we are here for you.

 

[EltonJohn]

Going through his unhappiness was hard enough but I really didn't think he was doing this. We've been in counciling for months and I THOUGHT things were going better. I thought he was commited to trying. Yet there are emails from last night sent while I was at my neighbors.

What the hell am I going to do? I'm a SAHM. We have a 5 month old baby. My best carreer experience is in retail manegement. I live 1500 miles away from any family.

Keep on going to marriage counseling. Tell this to your counselor.

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

Well personally here is what I would do (which may or may not work for you): I wouldn't confront him, if I'd been to counselling for months and thought it was working out to find out he was lying - I would be getting my ducks in a row. By that I mean consulting a good divorce attorney, setting aside some money that he didn't know about and planning a visit home. If I was that far from my family I would tell him I want to take the baby and go for a visit. Pack up my stuff and have the divorce papers served after I left... Now whether that would get me into legal trouble I don't know - that's why I would see the divorce attorney first thing.

Ohhhh, I am soooo sorry!!!

I agree with everyone else...

If you have not said anything, I would not confront him...

Right now, YOU have all the cards..
The minute this becomes a confrontation, he will then be likely to begin to take any actions that are not in your best interest.

Take action to protect yourself financially, legally, etc...

Can you possibly "take the baby for an extended visit to see your family"...

I wonder if getting out of state before any actions are taken would be in your favor, if you wish to move back home. This is an important question for a lawyer.

I am sooooo sorry!!!

I agree with the above advice...as soon as you let him know that you know, you lose the upper hand.

I'm so sorry.

.
.

 

[grlpwrd]

Keep on going to marriage counseling. Tell this to your counselor.

Sorry, but I don't see any sense in continuing counseling when obviously he isn't on the same page.

I've seen my mom in heartache - even to the point of physically fighting with the other woman. Whatever you do - do not stoop to their level.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Please take care of yourself and your sweet children.... I will be thinking of you.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I guess I am thinking out loud here. Do you want to work on your marriage....do you want to give him another chance? Or have you made up your mind that enough is enough? No one would blame you for thinking enough is more than enough.

If you are done.. I totally understand that, I would get myself an attorney and document whatever you need to go forward with starting divorce proceedings. It hurts me to say this with a new baby, but you have to protect yourself and think of yourself and your family.

Hugs, I wish I could be more help..

 

[minnie56]

Ahhh that's lousy.
Some people are just morally bankrupt..
You must do what your heart tells you to do. But I would absolutely have it out with him!

It's that fork in the road...life can be better from this turning point--just hard to see that at this time.

 

[EltonJohn]

Have you seen this thread:

I discovered my wife was having an affair today

 

[Buckalew11]

She sounds like she has a a history of this kind of thing. Who knows who else's life she is screwing around with.

So, you have not mentioned finding the emails? If not, good self control. Of so, what'd he say? Besides that you are crazy and all that typical BS.

Had he mentioned any thing like this in couseling? Can you tell from the emails whether this was all sexual talk or if there seemed to be a relationship happening? Not that it matters to me either way but it might give some clues as to what he is looking for.

I am just so sad for you. Do you have a very close friend that could come over or that you could go to her house? Someone who'd keep mum. Life is so crazy after a baby anyway with hormones, lack of sleep, getting your body back etc. and he's been depressed, right? Is he steadily working and all that?

 

[Disney Ron]

You and your children deserve better...do whatever it takes and walk away! You will be the better parent in the long run for it, be strong.

Mrs. Disney Ron

 

[Missy1961]

I am so sorry. This sucks, he sucks.

Whatever you decide to do, document whatever you can. Print out those emails before he can delete them. Talk to a lawyer. Even if you decide that the marriage is over, keep talking to a counselor. They can help you. And that is most important now--helping you & your kids.

You are stronger than you know. You can do whatever is best for you & your kids.

 

[Missy1961]

Sorry, but I don't see any sense in continuing counseling when obviously he isn't on the same page.

I've seen my mom in heartache - even to the point of physically fighting with the other woman. Whatever you do - do not stoop to their level.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Please take care of yourself and your sweet children.... I will be thinking of you.

It does seem like counseling isn't working for him, but I think she should continue with it. It could help her move forward in the way that is best for her & the kids.

 

[alliecats]

I am so very sorry. I don't have any advice but I did want to say that I will keep you in my prayers.
You don't deserve this.

 

[LoraJ]

I am so sorry that you are going through this.