Surprising the kids, how/when if to tell them...

[Figmentmommy]

We usually tell our kids beforehand - sometimes weeks before, sometimes months before. Last year we decided to surprise them. (then 12 & 10) - DH convinced me to give it a try! We booked our trip in May 2014 for a Dec 2014 trip. We kept the secret all those months not telling anyone but a friend who was also planning a surprise trip for her kids. Since we had gone in 2013 and we pretty much told them no way to 2 years in a row we knew they'd be surprised. The night before we were due to leave we wrapped their magicbands and put them under the Christmas tree. They are used to getting a little surprise from us under the tree during the season (a Christmas mug, puzzle, candy) so that's what they thought it was. When they opened up the bands they were shocked to say the least - thought we were kidding- and then couldn't believe we were leaving the next morning! The hardest part was for me to get everything packed up in secret while they were at school and not let them hear or see anything. Overall it worked out great and when I ask them now which way they prefer they tell me they want to be surprised! What do you know? Hubby was right!

 

[Mom2darlingboys]

I agree with PP... do not surprise kids for their first trip... Unless they are the kids who have been bugging you to go weekly for the past three years. Kids who have never been have no idea what it will be like and their reaction can be underwhelming. Let them get excited and be part of the process.

 

[JimmyV]

Kids who have never been have no idea what it will be like and their reaction can be underwhelming. Let them get excited and be part of the process.

People need to ask themselves the following questions:

• "Am I doing this for the kids, or am I doing this for myself? "
• "Are my kids going to hug me and say: "Thanks for keeping this a secret from me?" Or are they more likely to reflect back on this and think: "I wish I had known ahead of time"?".
• "Is the "reveal" designed for my benefit or theirs?"
• "What are the chances that telling them ahead of time will turn out to be a train wreck, versus what are the chances that surprising them will be a train wreck?"
• "Is there anything that could go wrong with telling them ahead of time?"
• "Is there anything that could go wrong with the surprise?"
• "If I don't get the reaction I hoped for, will I be sad or disappointed?"

After doing the risk analysis, it may turn out that the surprise is still your choice. Personally, I always come out on the other side of the equation.

 

[WillAustin]

We've done it both ways. One surprise was a great success and one was a little rough due to our daughter being upset she couldn't say goodbye to our pets. The kids also do enjoy helping plan the trips. My daughter did tell me the other day that she thinks she'd be OK with another surprise Disney trip.

 

[vleeth]

In my mind, surprising kids a couple of weeks in advance is the best solution. That's what we did when we went on a cruise years ago. My daughter does not see things the same way. She wants to be surprised the day of. She said those two weeks took forever. Another cruise we picked her up from school and headed to the port. That just works for her.

We are going to Disney this December. I haven't decided how the reveal will go, but I'm working on it. Part of the issue is I'm not sure what time we will leave. And since she's not in school anymore I have to do stealth packing.

She currently thinks we are going to Disney in 2018. We are, but we are also going this year.

Maybe ask your kids what they think.

Btw, my DD is now 10. She was 6 and 7 for the cruise surprises.

 

[Mollie Mooster]

We are surprising our 7 yo DD next Sunday. We are from LA and have a work trip Thursday -Sunday in AL. When we leave, we are driving to Disney instead of coming home. We are not going to tell her until we get to the main gate signs. This is her 4th trip, but we have always flown. This was a very last minute trip for us. We usually plan a year out. I don't think she would believe us at this point if we told her now. I think she will be excited. She loves Disney!

 

[LanaBear-ox]

Well even though I don't have any children.. yet.. My then husband in September 2017 will get a surprise birthday gift and leave 2 days after! (We are in the UK) He knows I am looking into it but nothing for sure but I will make it happen as it will be our first trip too! Let us know what you decided to do!

 

[Turn the Page]

Generally, I think it's good to tell kids in advance. They get to help plan things and pick out rides and restaurants and all that. Plus, I think it's really good to teach kids how to handle anticipation and how to wait for things. You don't have to tell them a year in advance but at least a couple weeks.

 

[LisaCM614]

You really have to know your own children. How well do they do with surprises in general? My kids are just like me, they do not like to be surprised, they prefer schedules and having a general idea of what to expect. My kids are older now and have had a variety of Disney vacations. My DH said after our last trip that we should surprise them next time, the kids all freaked out - they love planning as much as I do. I wouldn't rob them of the fun of anticipation. But I have friends who have told their kids in the car after school that they were heading to the airport and their kids loved the surprise. Our first trip we told them 10 days in advance - they were 5 & 6 at the time. Our last trip we told them 50 days out - that was too long - they made me nuts!

 

[roller99]

I am planning our first trip for October, and we haven't told our kids yet. (ages 6, 3 and 1) I will have to tell them within a couple weeks of our trip because I won't be able to pack without them noticing. My oldest knows something is going on though, my DH thought he was being sneaky and asked me something about our "special event" in front of her, and ever since she asks me every day what the "special event" is.

 

[ttintagel]

If you're pretty sure this is the only time you'll get to go...

Unless you're 100% sure your kids are the type of kids who just absolutely love massive, huge, mind-altering whammy surprises right in the middle of their other vacation plans, I personally wouldn't do the surprise. I would have been so thrown for a loop at that age that it would have cast a pall over the first few days of the WDW stay, which would have made my parents disappointed and maybe even mad, which would have spiraled into a bad experience for everyone. Plus, they're at the age where looking forward to it, watching ride videos, etc. will help prolong the fun.

 

[GatorMama]

we surprised our 5.5 year old when we went to MNSSHP in 2013. He had been asking to go for a full year and we couldn't afford a big vacation. We went down to stay with friends in Plant City and visit family and driving through Orlando nearly broke his tiny little heart, seeing all the signs and knowing we weren't going. We honestly didn't know if we'd go to the party until the day we went. We picked out halloween costumes for real halloween while we were there and then let him figure out our fun surprise on the way to MK.

Then we surprised him when we went to Legoland and he didn't know until we went through the gate because he had no idea what LL was to begin with. Now he talks about that constantly. But he lives helping to plan our trips.

 

[MommyMK]

We are telling our kids this afternoon, we leave on Saturday, I am so excited!!!!!!

 

[Pills]

We've done it both ways.

The first time my smaller daughter went, we'd been planning on surprising them. We had told them we were going in 2010 for the little one's 4th birthday, but circumstances allowed us to go in August of 2009. We, ahem, cleverly thought that if we said we were going to (Washington) D.C. that they'd not be as excited, and if we screwed up, we'd be good. Also, we'd be looking for a lot of the same things like good walking shoes, packing similar clothing, etc. The problem was that my older one REALLY started to look forward to go to D.C., so we had to tell them so WDW wasn't a letdown! They knew 6 weeks in advance.

The second time we surprised them was 2011. We told them we were escaping Hurricane Irene and were going to the airport to see where we could go. Unfortunately, through a comedy of errors, we missed our flight by 5 minutes, and they heard me say "we're going to Orlando". Having them get that excited at the airport was great, but we didn't get a flight for 12 hours.

They knew about the trips in 2006, 2010 and 2013, and know about the one in two months. They DON'T know that my brother and his family are meeting us for a day in MK (and his kids don't know, either!).

 

[grandmomhop]

We're still undecided too, for our trip in mid-November. It will be my daughter, her three younger ones, and me.
Last time they surprised her kids. She told them they were taking daddy to the airport. The youngest, 5 at the time, said he never wants her to do that again.
So now, she's thinking of telling them, but saying we're going later, then surprising them that day. (I think my granddaughter has a sneaky suspicion already that we're planning a trip)

 

[JimmyV]

The youngest, 5 at the time, said he never wants her to do that again.
So now, she's thinking of telling them, but saying we're going later, then surprising them that day.

What part of: "Please don't ever do that again" does she not understand? This would seem to fail every one of the "ask yourself these questions" that I suggested above.

 

[grandmomhop]

What part of: "Please don't ever do that again" does she not understand? This would seem to fail every one of the "ask yourself these questions" that I suggested above.

But he can help with the planning, since he will know we are going, and even though he said that, he still told everyone one of his school friends how cool his surprise was. Guess I should have added all that the first post.

 

[wencherous]

We are telling DS (4) six days before. I'm not sure how he'd handle a 'surprise, we are getting on a plane today!' situation so we will give him a few days to process and get excited.
He knows about Disney World but has never been. He's seen photos from when DH and me went in 2008 and I show him YouTube vids of rides and such from time to time. He says he is going to ask the Gparents to take him. Or he's going to drive himself

We are cruising with DCL immediately after WDW and may keep that to ourselves until we see the ship in port though...

 

[Madame]

Last August we kind of surprised our kids. They knew we were going somewhere & kept guessing WDW. One of our twins is *change resistant* for lack of a better word. It was their first plane ride so I created a bit strip cartoon with us going through security etc. We 'read' it like a story every night - & DS almost lost it because we didn't have to remove our shoes going through security & that was supposed to be the next step according to the story . We also watched ride videos on YouTube because we were going to Disney 'some day.' I'm glad we prepped them.

We did they same with our Christmas cruise in December. We didn't tell them where we were going until the day before when Mickey called, but they knew we were going on the Mickey boat some day & had watched videos & looked at pics online.

Our March trip was the best surprise. They really had no idea we were going. We all came home from school on the Friday of our March break & I said casually 'who wants to go to Disney.' 'Me! Me!!' But it didn't sink in & they flopped in front of the TV & DH & I starting loading the car. My DD was wandering around downstairs & I asked her why she wasn't getting her shoes on. Where are we going? I told you we're going to Disney. She started screaming No Way! No Way! That was a fun 21 hour drive .

This August they know everything, but our X-Mas trip is a complete surprise. I've gotta keep them on their toes .

 

[MakiraMarlena]

i'm for telling them before you actually drive up to the gate. They may not react the way you expect them to react if you spring it on them at the last possible second.