justhat
<font color=teal>DC DISer<br><font color=red>pick
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
My son is one of the older boys in school and he tends to migrate towards other older boys as well. There are plenty of them and none of them feel that age discrepancy that you describe. I think by the time they get to HS that doesn't matter as much as you think. In fact, with our school and kids, it is "cool" to be the older one. No one looks at these kids as "held back" since there are so many reasons for them to be older. My son, if asked, tells everyone that his private kindergarten school required kids to be 6. While it is true, no one ever makes any comments.
While that may be okay for your son, the experience I described was also true and so not every kid will have the acceptance that your child does. In my middle school is when the age thing became an issue. In elementary I never remember it being an issue, but then again I thins there were only two kids who were 'older' and they had really late birthdays, November and December, so it didn't seem odd. Once I got to 7th grade though (in a different school), that is when the teasing started. Lots of "why aren't you in grade X?"
And thinking back to my honors classes, I can't think of one kid who was a year older in them. They were all in the regular or remedial clsses, so I don't see how it helped these kids at all.
As to driving first, well that isn't a bad thing! Actually my son was one of the first to get his learners but drove with me that much longer before he got his license. That is a good thing!
How is this? Why would being the first to get your learner's permit mean you drove with him longer befor he got his license? I got my permit 2 months after I turned 16yo (only cause right after my birthday I went out of the country for 6 weeks, otherwise I would have gotten it right after I turned 16yo) and my license the day after I turned 17yo. So I drove with my mom 10 months. That would have been the case had I turned 16yo during my freshman year or sophomore. I just don't see how that makes any sense as your age doesn't change, just the grade you're in.
Times have changed since our days in school and being the older kid isn't a bad thing anymore. Shoot, SIL (a 3rd grade teacher) just had a baby boy with a July birthday and is already saying he isn't going to start until age 6...just because.
I'm only 28yo. Times haven't changed that much. Your SIL's decision just seems insane to me. How does she know what the kid will be like at 5yo!?! Why hold a kid back just because? I just don't get that at all. I totally get doing it for a reason, but 'just because'? That I truly feel is a disservice as it could be stunting a child's emotional/academic/personal growth if they are ready for school but not permitted to go.
I have followed this subject closely for 20 years because of my summer kids birthdays and it has been a topic near and dear to me. For about 98% of the kids that I have met, the extra year has been a blessing. I also think that boys do tend to benefit more from the year. You may not see that in the early years but once they get to HS, you will!
Are you talking about an arbitrary extra year, or one where the kid was truly not ready for school for whatever reason? Cause if it's arbitrary, then I do not get the benefit at all. Maybe it's because if a child is immature at 5yo, who is to say they always will be? Are you really saying that the immature 5yo (like they aren't all immature in one way or another) will still be a year behind in maturity at 16yo? A year behind regular, 'mature' 16yo boys that is. If that is the case, that this child will never catch up maturity wise, then I think there's some sort of deficit. And if the chidl will catch up in a couple of years, then isn't it a disservice to hold them back permanently? Making them so much more mature than their grade-mates throughout high school. Wouldn't that get frustrating to constantly be surrounded by immature people? I know it would be for me.
I also wanted to add that if you suspect for any reason that your child is ADD or similiar, the holding back will not benefit them. These kids would be my 2% that I witnessed that it didn't help. These kids need their meds and guidance, not neccessarily the extra year. JMO
My other thought is that while it might be great to be a 'kid' for another year, having another year tacked on to my life post-graduation has been great. Particularly if you go on to graduate schools and such. I feel like I have 'extra' time over people like my friends who started school a year late. And really, I fail to see the big difference between preschool for a 5yo and kindy. I would think that a 5yo still in preschool would be going at least 5 mornings a week, if not some afternoons as well. How does that make someone more of a kid?