Push Presents???

[okw19]

I agree with everyone else, my healthy, beautiful daughter was my gift. It's one thing if father wants to get something on his own for the mother, but demanding a "push gift" is ridiculous.

 

[Aliceacc]

I think a man bringing a gift to his wife after the birth of a child is a loving and romantic gesture. I think a woman who is demanding or even asking for a gift and using the term "push present" is disgusting.

I agree completely.

I have no issue with the gift. It's the "expecting" and the "demanding" that I have an issue with.

 

[KathleensKid]

I don't think it's odd when a man brings his wife a gift. In fact I think that's fairly normal My husband will bring me gifts for many different kinds of reasons, and yes he did bring me gifts in the hospital.

I do think it is strange to demand gifts from anyone for any reason, even your husband.

This.
I got jewelry when each child was born. I didn't demand it or tag it with the name "push present" although I know women who do. The plan is to pass the jewelry on to the kids once they have kids of their own. DD will get the necklace I received the day she was born, and ds will get the necklace for his wife. The kids know which necklace is which. I always wear their necklace on their birthdays. The day ds went off to kindergarten I wore his necklace and found myself touching it all day. Even though he was off at school, I had a tangible reminder of the day he arrived hanging right above my heart.


Maybe the concept of a "push present" (or at least that term) is a regional thing. I had never heard the term until I moved to my current city. And I first heard it about 10 yrs ago. It is not a new concept.

 

[Scurvy]

I think a man bringing a gift to his wife after the birth of a child is a loving and romantic gesture. I think a woman who is demanding or even asking for a gift and using the term "push present" is disgusting.

My thoughts exactly. There's nothing wrong with the gift but there's everything wrong with the new mom expecting or demanding a gift from anyone. If a woman actually told me she was expecting a "push present" I don't think I could stop myself from rolling my eyes and laughing at her. It's absurd, and strikes me as incredibly materialistic and shallow! I would seriously question anyone's priorities who spent any time thinking about what gift they'd receive for giving birth to a child, unless maybe they were some sort of surrogate. Otherwise, I think any normal person would consider the child to be more than enough reward.

My husband actually did give me a gift after our son was born - a stuffed football we'd played with when we were goofing off in a store a few days before. I still have that thing and I love it. I didn't expect him to give me anything at all, though.

 

[miralys]

I'm game for giving people gifts I love whenever I feel like it. I don't wait for a certain event or holiday. I give people gifts because I saw something and thought of them, or know they are having a rough time, or have something in need of celebration. That's just how I am.

But to try to say that "push presents" are socially required, expected, even demanded, the way a wedding gift or birthday present is, that's where I am going to draw the line.

 

[sk!mom]

Anyone demanding a gift for any occasion is rude, grabby, and selfish. However, big huge however, if a man would like to commemorate the birth of a child with a gift then why would anyone judge that negatively???? It is quite possibly a romantic gesture to give a keepsake of one of life's most special days. I know one man who gave his wife jewelery with each birth which she then gave to her daughter/ daughter in law to wear on their wedding day- sweet gesture.

I'm not big on gifts. They're just not what makes me feel loved but they are important to some people. I have a couple of people in my life who love to give gifts. For them, it's a demonstration of love. I also have a couple of people in my life who love to receive gifts. I don't judge either unless they were to cross over into demands.

 

[deuceswild10]

Geez y'all, to each their own.

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

I had c-sections so my DH told me I was entitled to a "push present".. of course he was joking but he is not into giving gift either.

My friend kept asking me what I got. I told her nothing. She was DYING to tell me how great her dh was and she got this lovely painting. .

 

[RMulieri]

I don't think it's odd when a man brings his wife a gift. In fact I think that's fairly normal My husband will bring me gifts for many different kinds of reasons, and yes he did bring me gifts in the hospital. My first child he brought me a diaper bag that I had wanted but didn't buy myself. I was very pleasantly surprised as I had no idea. With my second he brought me beautiful necklace with both of my childrens birthstones in it. (he was supposed to be our last) With my third he brought me a new necklace with all three or our kids birthstones in it.

I do think it is strange to demand gifts from anyone for any reason, even your husband.

But, to judge a woman and call her selfish just because her husband brought her a gift sounds like sour grapes

I have no problem with a husband giving a gift, or even asking what you might like.I have a problem with someone EXPECTING it or even DEMANDING it ( like my co-worker did) .It has nothing to do with sour grapes.I simply find it tacky to demand your husband give you a "push" present.Just like I find it tacky to tell people ( that haven't asked) to buy you xyz off their registry.

 

[monorailsilver]

I had heard of it & joked to my husband about getitng me a push present.

Finally he got it, after we had our 3rd (and final) child, he got me the best gift...a few candy bars. I was in heaven, sitting in my (I almost typed hotel), hospital room alone at night/evening with me & my baby. He had left with our other 2. And I got to eat those candy bars with out hiding/sneaking from my kids. Ahh..heaven.

 

[disprincessatheart]

I used to work in a jewelry store, so I've sold plenty of push presents. When I was pg I was sick every single day so my parents brought me choc covered strawberries in the hospital and my dh brought me a huge bouquet of flowers. Dh is a pretty big present buyer and he felt really bad at how hard the pg and delivery were for me - 24 hrs in I had a csection - so if he'd known of the idea of a push present he might have gotten me something bigger, but he didn't and I didn't care enough to tell him and basically ask for a present. HOWEVER I don't think less of someone that wants to feel like the 9 months of work she went thru for her family is appreciated! Yes, the baby is the best gift ever, but my dh didn't spend 9 months hugging the toilet, eating the blandest food he could find with ankles the size of grapefruit!

 

[SnipsNSnails]

My DH bought me a Willow Tree Figuring of a mother, father, and baby (two different ones) after the birth of each of my sons. I thought it was very sweet.

I don't understand demanding a present, isn't the point of a gift for it to be special because the person giving it was thinking of you? You might as well just go out and buy it yourself at that point if you want it. There's nothing special about him buying what you told him to buy when you told him to buy it. I hate it when my DH asks me what I want for Christmas or my birthday or anniversery. I'd much rather see what he comes up with on his own without me telling him I want this or that, much more special IMO.

 

[starsweeper]

I learned about this 10 years ago when my future SIL had her sons, and thought it was ridiculous as it was "expected" by the new moms. When I became pregnant last year with #3, I joked with DH about a "push" gift, or "gash" gift since I had a c-section after 27 hours of induced labor. He actually had me shop for a necklace and ring set before I gave birth in mid-Dec, strictly for Christmas, and selected one of the sets as a surprise. He decided to give me one piece after birth because he said I earned it after my long labor, just to be funny. I didn't even wear jewelry for at least a month and nothing could compare to my baby. I refused anything expensive for this Christmas so we can have more fun at WDW in April.

 

[Dragonfly_34]

When my oldest brother's wife went into the hospital for a scheduled c-section with their first child, he gave her a new engagement ring and wedding band. They'd been married for 15 years at that point and he really went for a whopper of an upgrade. The day they brought my nephew home, he surprised my SIL with a limo waiting at the hospital to drive them home. Four days later when my next oldest brother's wife went into the hospital for a scheduled c-section with *their* first child, he gave her a beautiful ring with their soon-to-be-son's birthstone. (Yes, the two oldest grandchildren on my side of the family are both boys, born 4 days apart). Both of my SILs went on to have two more children and both received jewelry after the babies arrived. My sister got a pair of stunning diamond earrings after she had her daughter (their only child).

When I had my firstborn, I got a balloon and a flower...far cry from what my siblings gave/received....but we were engaged, broke and planning (and paying for) our wedding so I didn't care. A few months later I took some money my grandmother sent me for my birthday and put it towards a ring with my son's birthstone. Twelve years later when my second DS was born, I had actually picked out a ring with his birthstone in it that I really wanted. It wasn't overly expensive and it certainly wasn't a demand, just something I knew I'd want to get. It was a little ironic because my oldest son was due in March and my youngest son was due in March....my oldest was born in February and wouldn't you know it, my youngest decided to show up on April 1st! I never got that aquamarine ring I wanted!!!!! Instead DH surprised me with a very pretty right-hand diamond ring since that's the birthstone for April. I was completely surprised since he picked it out by himself and never mentioned it to me. I'm currently expecting twins and they should be making their entrance in September, which is a sapphire birthstone. I already have a sapphire set that my mom gave me when I turned 16 years old so I've told DH not to worry about getting me anything. However, what I would like to do after the twins are born is re-work my wedding set into a different design but that's something I've wanted to do for a while anyway.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a husband or SO giving the mother of their child something after she gives birth ~ let's face it, pregnancy and delivery are no walk in the park. However I don't think it should be a demand or expectation.....but I feel that way about most gifts.

 

[jkc0325]

I am a labor and delivery nurse and I've never heard the term "push present." I've seen many women demanding presents from their husbands, or worse, becoming VERY depressed when their husband does not show up with a little black box for them after giving birth.

I asked for the same gift after all three of my deliveries: A Reeses Peanut Butter cup sundae from Friendlys!!! YUM!!! Sadly, I only got it after my first two were born. By the time number 3 came along, the Friendly's across from the hospital had closed. DH gave me a Mother's Ring instead

Like many here, I think it's a wonderful thing if a husband wants to give his wife a gift to show his appreciation for all she's gone through to make their family. I think it's a horrible thing if he's forced into it by a demanding wife. A gift just doesn't mean anything if you had to order it up. You could just buy it for yourself and it wouldn't make a difference. JMO of course. YMMV

 

[Mama Who]

Uh... both my mother and I demand ice cream after giving birth. Does that count?

Beyond that, no. Nobody owes me for having babies. I have babies because I want them. Demanding pressies for doing so would imply to me that I was having the baby for someone else. Now if I was a surrogate...

 

[SLK1]

When I found out I was pregnant with #4 (total surprise and yes, it does only take ONE TIME -- advice for all the teenagers out there), I got what I call my "Knocked Up ring". Beautiful diamond ring that my DH used to talk me down from the ledge! Who cares if a husband gives his wife a gift and what it's for?!? Nine months of pregnancy, some that are sheer hell, plus sometimes horrible labors and deliveries???? I think a gift is nice!

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I think a man bringing a gift to his wife after the birth of a child is a loving and romantic gesture. I think a woman who is demanding or even asking for a gift and using the term "push present" is disgusting.

Completely agree!

 

[Snickals]

Wow I've never even heard of that before! Isn't a healthy little human enough!? You learn something new every day...

 

[jelina]

had a woman I work with ask me what my "push" present was..My reply..A beautiful healthy daughter.She said she asked for a bracelet from Tiffanys.I swear every passing year I lose more faith in mankind I think a man bringing a gift to his wife after the birth of a child is a loving and romantic gesture. I think a woman who is demanding or even asking for a gift and using the term "push present" is disgusting.