Possibly taking one of my kids friends

[ironpig70]

Thanks for all the advice.

At this point its going to take work just to get my family there.

And while I understand that this is an "invite" in a way its more of an interest she wants to go and I know the family well enough that I believe they could finance it.

While I think offsite would be cheaper this is one of those I dont know if we will ever be back trips so I am just going to have to eat the hotel cost. I looked at 2 values and it worked out to $200 more than a moderate and $300 less than a suite and think this is the route. Still looking at DVC.

 

[antree]

We did this four different times. The first 2 times we asked if the friends wanted to go. If the parents said yes, they paid for spending money, passes and airlines. We paid for food and hotel. The 3rd time we paid for everything, knowing this family couldn't afford it. The 4th time we paid for hotel only because the guest asked to go. You are doing a nice thing, you know the family, you know what you need to do.

Have fun and hope it all works at well for you.

 

[suedaisy]

I have rented many times from DVC owners. This has been VERY cost effective for me. If you are planning early, consider renting two value studios at Animal Kingdom Jambo House. These are WONDERFUL rooms and there is a huge cost savings. You can ask the owner to request that the rooms be together.

A different perspective...
When I was in the fourth grade, I went with a single mom and her daughter to Disney. My family would never have had enough money for all of us to go (don't worry, my sister and I have made this up to everyone as we take the family 3 times per year now ... My family paid for my portion of the room- off-site, tickets, airfare, meals, spending money. My friend paid for the rental car. The mom approached my parents before anyone said anything to me about it. My folks worked hard for the kids in the family to have "extra" fun experiences. Certainly, this friend permitted me to have an experience that I would have never had (until I was in my 20s). Since we planned early, grandparents chipped-in for birthday/Christmas gifts, etc.

I understand what everyone is saying about "invitation," but I also wanted to share my personal experience. I would hate for the friend to "miss out" when she may be interested in having a summer job to pay her own way! Also, I think that the dining plan can be a good thing as the parents would know that EVERYTHING is basically covered and they will not have to "worry" about compensating you. They may prefer to give you gift cards and get fuel points.

Just my two cents....

 

[Marionnette]

Thanks for all the advice.

At this point its going to take work just to get my family there.

And while I understand that this is an "invite" in a way its more of an interest she wants to go and I know the family well enough that I believe they could finance it.

While I think offsite would be cheaper this is one of those I dont know if we will ever be back trips so I am just going to have to eat the hotel cost. I looked at 2 values and it worked out to $200 more than a moderate and $300 less than a suite and think this is the route. Still looking at DVC.

It's very possible that the family is capable of financing a trip for their daughter. But like a lot of people, that may not be where they choose to spend their money.

I understand that it would be nice to have a companion for your daughter on this trip. But I don't think that I would throw the idea out there and tell the parents that I would expect them to foot anything more than the cost of the airfare and some spending money.

I think that when you start trying to prorate the cost of food and room, it gets a little ticky-tacky. The only reason that I would even ask for something toward the airfare is because if the kid backs out, you cannot use the travel funds for anyone else.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Not purely financial, but you will want to get a notarized limited power of attorney signed by both parents allowing you to take her out of state and to make urgent medical decisions. And any medical insurance card related to her.

 

[princessfionasmom]

I am taking my DS (12) and his friend in May. I am really good friends with the Mom and her and I have been to WDW sans kids to do the half marathon so it's a little different situation. Her son has always expressed an interest in going with us. In talking to her one day I mentioned that I was giving my son a trip to WDW to do expedition Everest challenge as a Christmas gift. When I told her my plan she loved the idea so I invited her and her so along saying that I'd love for them to come with us and the room would be on me (lovin my DVC). She said that she couldn't go but if it would be ok if her son went with us. So for Christmas we sent both boys on a scavenger hunt (they live 2 doors down from us) to find clues that would tell them their present. They almost exploded with excitement when they learned they were going to WDW together. My son has been quite a few time but his friend has never been. They were both told that they had to save to have their own spending money. My friend offered to give me money towards the room but I absolutely would not take it. I had a bunch of miles with JetBlue so I offered to pay for his flight down and she paid for the flight back. My husband is military so we are getting a huge break on the tickets but she is paying for his. I will pay for his meals because we are eating at places I want to eat. I added the water parks fun and more to the tickets because its something I wanted them to do and I paid for the extra cost. I believe the important part is being up front about the costs. I would approach the parents saying that you were floating around the idea of taking the friend and state what costs you would be happy cover and let them know if its something they are interested in doing what they would have to pay for. I don't think there is any right or wrong way. I would love to be able to pay my sons friends way but its just not in our budget and my friend knows that. On the flip side if it were my son going, I would insist on paying for his flight, park ticket and contributing towards food. If the parents were well off and insisted on paying his way, I would certainly let them. I think it's a wonderful thing to want to share such a magical vacation.

 

[AnnaS]

I agree with many previous posters - if you/your daughter invite - you pay for everything except souveniers. (which I obviously can't spell right now).

We have done this and paid for everything. There have also been trips where kids were older (high school) and they sort of planned their own little thing/vacation with us. I still took care of the room, snacks/drinks for the room and a meal or two when we met. They paid for their own air, tickets and most meals.

 

[HeatherC]

Definitely look into Bonnet Creek Resort. It IS onsite...just not owned by Disney. It is next door to the Caribbean Beach Resort.

It is a gorgeous resort with beautiful villas...multiple pools, bar/restaurants, lazy rivers, free mini golf.

You can rent a two or three bedroom condo for about $100 a night INCLUDING all taxes.

I am guessing that two value rooms will be much more than $700 a week.

Plus...you have a full kitchen for coffee in the mornings or snacks when you get back...washer and dryer that lets you pack less, multiple tv's and bedrooms.

It is the best deal at Disney.

 

[DawnM]

You are free to say no. It may not be a good fit for your family vacation to take a non-family member. When you are using words like "eat it" to refer to the extra money you will spend, it seems to me that you really don't want to take her.

In this case, I would make sure they could afford tickets and food and cover everything else (hotel stay) myself.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable in a small hotel room with someone else's teen anyway, so I would want a condo or a separated space of some sort.

Dawn

 

[My5Mouseketeers]

I would never invite one of my kids friends unless I was going to pay for everything. To be honest, that is why we hardly ever invite friends because we can't always afford the extra person and I would never invite anyone and expect them to pay.

This makes me sad every time I see someone write it. We have 5 children and not only is it financially difficult, it is also logistically difficult to get away as often as we would like.

Some of my kids have gone away with friends over the years and it has been a wonderful experience for all of them. We have always given money for food, activities etc (but actually never lodging). I would hate to think that someone wouldn't ask my child to go, just because they couldn't afford to pay MY child's way.

 

[pocomom]

ok couple of thoughts.
Dh and I talked about this and we wouldn't normally offer unless we could afford and were willing to pay for all of it- minus some spending money. With the exception if we knew the other child's family well and could talk to them first, explaining that we wanted the child to come but couldn't afford all the expenses and could work it out with them. I absolutely would not expect or accept them to chip in for our hotel, rental car or probably even food. They have no choice in where you pick, what discounts you try to get, and it is not solely their fault you are a large party. I think it would be acceptable if offered to accept the airfare (or have them book when you do) and/or park admission and that is it. Also as a note, you need to tread very carefully with plans involving friends of a 14 year old dd. At that age kids frequently switch up friendships and begin having all sorts of drama even if they were bff's forever. We had made plans to bring dsd's best friend to the bahamas. Dsd literally begged us to let her friend come then a month before she asked if she could uninvite her, I suggested she work it out and I was told the friend was so mad at her she refused to come. Luckily, we had refundable plane tickets, and it didn't change our room arrangements.

 

[powellrj]

This makes me sad every time I see someone write it. We have 5 children and not only is it financially difficult, it is also logistically difficult to get away as often as we would like.

Some of my kids have gone away with friends over the years and it has been a wonderful experience for all of them. We have always given money for food, activities etc (but actually never lodging). I would hate to think that someone wouldn't ask my child to go, just because they couldn't afford to pay MY child's way.

We were the subject of gossip last year because everyone "thought" they knew us. My DD had traveled all spring and had done lots of extra things like prom and new clothes for her trips. She goes to a different school than her church friends so they really had no idea about the trips and prom.

Then we had an unexpected expense when DHs car was totaled and we needed to replace it ASAP. My dream was to own a mustang so we bought a brand new mustang. I had wanted this for over 35 years so it was really a dream come true.

Then the church decided to go to camp as a group and take a mission trip to Atlanta. DD wanted to do both. Sorry, no extra money to take another trip and go to camp. Add to the fact we were taking a family trip with our other 2 children and DDIL.

I was getting calls from the church offering to fund the trips, getting calls about how much she will get from these trips, getting calls about how she will be missed.

It was embarrassing to be the person driving around in the new mustang, taking my family on a trip to Universal, but not letting her go on a mission trip and to church camp.

People assumed because we had the new car and were traveling we had the extra money to do these things, but that wasn't the case. So we were the topic of conversation as to why we denying DD these things when we seemed like we could well afford them.

Sending money for food and activities is different than airfare and WDW tickets. My kids have traveled with friends over the years and we have also always sent money for food and their activities and that isn't anything like the money involved for WDW tickets and airfare. Depending on where you live, the airfare alone is several hundred dollars and then its another several hundred dollars in tickets plus the cost of spending money and you could well have over $1000.

 

[robinb]

We were the subject of gossip last year because everyone "thought" they knew us. My DD had traveled all spring and had done lots of extra things like prom and new clothes for her trips. She goes to a different school than her church friends so they really had no idea about the trips and prom.

Then we had an unexpected expense when DHs car was totaled and we needed to replace it ASAP. My dream was to own a mustang so we bought a brand new mustang. I had wanted this for over 35 years so it was really a dream come true.

Then the church decided to go to camp as a group and take a mission trip to Atlanta. DD wanted to do both. Sorry, no extra money to take another trip and go to camp. Add to the fact we were taking a family trip with our other 2 children and DDIL.

I was getting calls from the church offering to fund the trips, getting calls about how much she will get from these trips, getting calls about how she will be missed.

It was embarrassing to be the person driving around in the new mustang, taking my family on a trip to Universal, but not letting her go on a mission trip and to church camp.

People assumed because we had the new car and were traveling we had the extra money to do these things, but that wasn't the case. So we were the topic of conversation as to why we denying DD these things when we seemed like we could well afford them.

Sending money for food and activities is different than airfare and WDW tickets. My kids have traveled with friends over the years and we have also always sent money for food and their activities and that isn't anything like the money involved for WDW tickets and airfare. Depending on where you live, the airfare alone is several hundred dollars and then its another several hundred dollars in tickets plus the cost of spending money and you could well have over $1000.

I guess I'm not following this story as reasoning why you don't invite kids unless you can pay 100% of their costs. That is very generous, but doesn't that just contribute to the illusion of having excess disposable income when you do?

 

[powellrj]

I guess I'm not following this story as reasoning why you don't invite kids unless you can pay 100% of their costs. That is very generous, but doesn't that just contribute to the illusion of having excess disposable income when you do?

Sorry I meant to quote the posters that kept saying they know other peoples finances. I guess I don't multi-task as well as I thought I did.

The 2 points I was making was just because you THINK you know others finances, you may not know the whole story.

The other point I was trying to make was that taking other peoples kids on other activities is much different than taking them to WDW. WDW can cost $1000 or more and many people don't just have the extra money to pay for that much. If you want other peoples kids to go with you, I wouldn't make the offer unless I could pay for the whole trip. A trip to Kings Island is much different.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

I did this and stayed 3 nights in 2 rooms at POp and 7 nights at the doubletree in DTD. This worked out very well and saved a lot of money having 6 persons.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[robinb]

Sorry I meant to quote the posters that kept saying they know other peoples finances. I guess I don't multi-task as well as I thought I did.

The 2 points I was making was just because you THINK you know others finances, you may not know the whole story.

The other point I was trying to make was that taking other peoples kids on other activities is much different than taking them to WDW. WDW can cost $1000 or more and many people don't just have the extra money to pay for that much. If you want other peoples kids to go with you, I wouldn't make the offer unless I could pay for the whole trip. A trip to Kings Island is much different.

Hmmm ... I agree with everything you say except the bolded part. I have asked other families to pay for airline tickets and park tickets for the very reasons you mention! WDW is expensive and not a day-trip to Great America. I can easily pay for a day at Great America, I can't pay for an all-expense paid trip to WDW.

It can be difficult to talk to people about what they can and cannot afford. I talk to the girl's parents before asking the girl and I absolutely leave the answer "no" completely open to them. I think it's a win-win situation for both families. My DD gets to tour with a friend and the friend gets to go to on a WDW trip that her family can afford (without paying for the whole family, for instance).

 

[pixiewings71]

We let the girls invite friends to DL with us for a long weekend one year. It was great! We paid for the hotel (and hated the place we picked) and the gas, asked the parents to pay for the tickets and to send souvenir money, the parents also chose to send money for food. At the end of each meal the girls would give us some money, I would figure out what they actually "owed" and give most of it back. lol There were a few snacks that we let them pay for but for actual meals we wanted to cover that so we did our best to do so. These friends have been in our "family" for years and both girls call me Mom so I'm pretty close to the parents and didn't feel bad about asking for them to cover the ticket prices.

 

[Bob NC]

This post reminds me of a story from 6th grade.

My Mom & Dad and me were going to Cape Cod for the weekend. I asked if my friend Ed could come.

My Mom called Ed's Mom and everything was all set. My parents were going to pay for everything, hotel, activities and food.

Come to find out, Ed's Mom gave him some money and told him to insist he pay for dinner one night as a little thank you for us providing him this weekend.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants in Chatham, Thompson's Clam Bar.

We ate and afterwards the waitress asked if we were ready for the check.

Ed spoke up and said, "Yes, please bring the check to me."

The waitress looked suprised and said, "You want the entire check for everyone?"

Ed said, "Yes, they brought me here so I have to pay."

 

[heartsy77]

IMHO I would rent DVC unit and eat at least quick breakfast or etc in room and not charge the girls parents anything. Maybe some small amount of cash for her spending pleasure but that's it.

We are taking my DD bestie next year and we are paying full shot. Her parents could and wouldn't afford it anyways. This is my dd hs grad gift and way cheaper then a party and gift.

 

[cceandme]

few years ago we took my daugters friend to Disney. While she is a sweet girl and very well behaved heres the issues we had.
I paid for everything which was fine but when she ran out of spending money she asked me to borrow more. Also she didnt want to ride alot of the rides. (scared) and we all do so she did at lot of waiting around for us and I felt bad (she was 16 at the time.)

Don't know if I will invite another friend again