Obviously you have never had to use an epipen before to suggest a 5 yo would be able to do it when she is having a anaphylaxis reaction.
My DD was 3 when she developed a severe peanut allergy. The first thing her allergist did was teach her how to use her epipen. His philosophy was that by knowing how it worked it would remove her anxiety over it. He went over it with her at every follow up apt. from then on. We also talked about it at home.
Thank goodness he did!
My DD was just over 4 when she had an allergic reaction at a playdate at a friend's house. Her mother had been making peanut butter cookies the day before and apparently had missed some residue on her kitchen counter. My DD rubbed against it and started having a reaction. The other child's mother (a pretty good friend of mine) panicked and didn't know what to do! She really just freaked out. My DD's reaction was so fast that by the time she had taken her epipen out of her backpack she was already having trouble breathing. She opened her epipen and administered it to herself. Right into her upper thigh through her jeans. Just as we taught her to. Luckily my friend was at least able to call 911!!
I was proud to say the least.
You need to give your children control over their own bodies. It's their allergy- teach them how to live with it.
From the very beginning I taught her to tell people she is allergic to peanuts before accepting any type of food. Not just to say she can't eat that or she can't eat peanuts but to say she is allergic. We repeated it over and over 10s of times a day. Whenever I'd give her food I'd make her ask if she could eat that.
Often I would ask her if she wanted a peanut butter cookie- just to make her say " I can't eat that, I'm allergic to peanuts!" She was so good at it even at 3 years old that my level of anxiety was lowered.
She has to live with it- I can eat peanuts. She can't. I need to make sure she understands that and can live her life safely with her allergy.
Sure it's unfair!!! But this is how it is. She can't change it, I can't change it. We just deal with it.
We don't ask others to make accommodations for us. Our friends do- because they know and understand. But many times my DD has gone without B-day cake or treats that other kids have had. It doesn't hurt her to do without. She knows why she can't have it. I sometimes send snacks with her- but she's pretty good at finding alternatives from what is offered.
She packs a placemat when she needs to have a snack or lunch for school or camp activities. This keeps her food and hands off the table and away from other's food. She knows not to take food from other kids. She understands the reasons why.
Again.. I gave her the responsibility over her own body at a young age. She knows how to deal with it.
Of course I worry all the time- but knowing she understands the risks allows me to breathe a little easier.
I don't feel like I have to make the world safer for her by forcing others to make accommodations for her. She makes accommodations for herself. Which is how it should be. It's her allergy- not the other kids' in her class.
-Sarah