OT: DS turns 5 end of July so Kindergarten or no Kindergarten

[Tricia1103]

My DS was 5 June 21, 2007. I opted to keep him in pre-school another year. The pre-school he was going to was 3 days a week, so I found one that is 5 days/week..to help get him ready for Kindergarten next year. He was ready academically, but he is just a little immature. He is my "baby" and I'm SURE that has NOTHING to do with it!! LOL

Anyway..he is 5 and in pre-school 5 days a week and is doing quite well. I am glad I decided to keep him back...I don't want him to be frustrated with school and I think if he would have started kindy this year he would be.

Of course, it's your decision to make and only YOU know what's best...go with your gut and don't second guess yourself...which I did a LOT of...

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[S'sMom]

IMO, I say send him if you feel he is ready. In my state children have to b 5 by Sept. 1, my dd birthday is Aug. 28 (almost missed it).

I have not regretted the decision to go on and start her. I say try it out and see how he does, if it does not work out remove him. My dd, did have some adjustment issues, coming from a home environment (with my aunt) to a structured environment. But we made it through.

 

[brymolmom]

I agree - it is all the redshirting that is changing what is 'expected' and what is taught in Kindergarten - of course 6 year olds would be bored learnign what is supposed to be taught in the classroom.

I'm just amazed how many people don't think their kids are 'ready' and are too 'immature' - I guess things have changed since every parent thought their kid was the brightest, best kid in the bunch! If the cutoff in your area states that 4 year olds are 'supposed' to go to Kindergarten -- than THAT is your rule of thumb - is your child at the 'normal' maturity level for a 4 year old? Is he/she behave emotionally like his/her age would indicate appropriate? I just can't believe how many people think their kids are below average so much in these areas and so below average that they think they can't exist productively in a classroom made for that age!

Even in this thread - people are talking about holding back so that their child is bigger/taller?????? What should parents of little people do? Should they homeschool because their children will NEVER be as tall as others? I think we need to give our kids the self-confidence no matter what their size to be themselves in any classroom or in any group and be proud of it. Same with emotional maturity - let's give our kids some credit and assume they CAN do it instead of that they can't.

I've said it before - this problem will never be resolved until parental choice is removed.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I'm pretty offended by some people's tone on this issue.

My son's academic performance has NOTHING to do with this. He is in a very socially based preschool...academics at that age were not a concern for me. As a preschool teacher, I knew that was not important. I do believe that he is a wonderful child with a lot going for him. I do not worry that he will be able to handle the academics...he's very intelligent. But he is extremely shy, and he is not ready, in my opinion. I am a teacher with a lot of experience with this age group. I know what I'm doing.

I'm not sure why this angers people so much. I will never understand that. People at the playground want to start fights about it. I feel that I can't share my decision with people because of how they will react.

I was the youngest in my class, and it did have an effect on me until college. I was a smart kid, but could not keep up with the other kids socially. Did it hurt me in the long run? No. But it definitely made things more difficult growing up. He's my baby, and this is what he needs.

I think it's very scary that anyone should say that parental involvement should be taken away in any issue relating to their own child. I think that if parents are expected, and they should be, to take an active role in their child's education, then they should make the choice of when they send their child to school. It is no different than homeschooling, sending kids to private school, etc.

The OP is asking a question, in good faith, and hopefully we will all react in a positive way, no matter what our opinion is. How does flaming those who opt to keep their children home help her in her decision making? She should not feel that she has to send her child to K before it's necessary just because she's worried about angry responses from other parents.

 

[Camno's Mama]

By the way, I don't think K has gotten harder because people are holding their kids back. I think it's gotten harder because more people send their kids to preschool than ever before, kids use the computer, watch educational television and are familiar with things like Leap Frog, etc. We know better about how to educate our children a young age than we, as a society, did before. Things like the Y and park districts and whatever else offer fun classes where the kids learn as they play. We also have to keep up with the rest of the world. Which means, we have to accelerate what we are teaching our children. Right or wrong...that has a lot more to do with it than people keeping their kids at home a little longer. JMHO.

Now, I'm done!

 

[Gabe's Mom]

The decision is definately yours! We mom's have enough to feel guilty about, so either way, don't let this be one more thing .
That being said, we have a September 1 cutoff, my oldest DS had an August 4th Bday. We waited. My DH is a teacher, he felt very strongly about it. DS is actually a really big kid, so I worried about him being even bigger than his classmates, but it turns out he is not the only "redshirted kindergartener" in his class. Does seem to be mostly boys. For our DS, he had never been to daycare and was an only child, we decided he would benefit most from an extra year of preschool. I do think now he would have done fine either way (he's in 2nd grade), but the 3rd grades seem older than him.
Go with your gut. You don't hear many parents that waited saying they regretted it.

 

[dogluva]

I'm pretty offended by some people's tone on this issue.

My son's academic performance has NOTHING to do with this. He is in a very socially based preschool...academics at that age were not a concern for me. As a preschool teacher, I knew that was not important. I do believe that he is a wonderful child with a lot going for him. I do not worry that he will be able to handle the academics...he's very intelligent. But he is extremely shy, and he is not ready, in my opinion. I am a teacher with a lot of experience with this age group. I know what I'm doing.

I'm not sure why this angers people so much. I will never understand that. People at the playground want to start fights about it. I feel that I can't share my decision with people because of how they will react.

I was the youngest in my class, and it did have an effect on me until college. I was a smart kid, but could not keep up with the other kids socially. Did it hurt me in the long run? No. But it definitely made things more difficult growing up. He's my baby, and this is what he needs.

I think it's very scary that anyone should say that parental involvement should be taken away in any issue relating to their own child. I think that if parents are expected, and they should be, to take an active role in their child's education, then they should make the choice of when they send their child to school. It is no different than homeschooling, sending kids to private school, etc.

The OP is asking a question, in good faith, and hopefully we will all react in a positive way, no matter what our opinion is. How does flaming those who opt to keep their children home help her in her decision making? She should not feel that she has to send her child to K before it's necessary just because she's worried about angry responses from other parents.

I sorry my tone offended you. I didn 't mean to "flame" anyone. I think she asked in good faith as well.

I just think this has gotten out of hand. When is the cut off going to be the cut-off? THey change the Dec. to Oct. then the Oct. to Aug. What is next? June? Fine but watch, those born in April/May get held back.

Ok, some are not ready. I agree. But every boy? It should be a few, not the majority. It sounds like your son was not ready. But every child born within six weeks of the cut-off is held back.

I have a problem with it because it is not fair to the kids who go. They are competing with kids who are a year older. I don't want my children in the same room with kids fifteen months, one and a half year older. They are bigger and they know more.

Eventually you don't see the difference, they have to mature in one grade or the other. LIke I said, my son was a nov. birthday. He was the second to youngest in his class (four room schoolhouse, one grade each). He is a sophmore in college, just got into a Civil engineer ing program at a really good school. He did fine. I don't think he would have done any better if I even considered it. My brother was Jan (mother somehow got him in) and he did fine. He is an economist. My nephew is an Oct. baby. His mother, a teacher, wouldn't have dreamed of holding him back. My other nephew,who was held back (they are a week apart), isn't doing half as well.

I think if the cut off is Aug. 31 then it should be Aug. 31. unless your child has some real issues. Especially if they had two years of preschool. And size is not a real reason to hold a child back.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I agree that people usually turn out just fine as adults whether you hold them back or not. And I am not usually an advocate of making your child's childhood a walk in the park...life is difficult and we can't sheild them from everything. But sometimes keeping them close to you for a little longer makes them feel a little more secure if they're not that way naturally.

My friend's ds is two days older than my son. They play together beautifully, and they know all of the same things. When they enter a group situation, the other little boy is having a great time. My son wants to go home or sit in my lap. On his own, in a social situation, he is lonely. His word, not mine.

Obviously, the other child is ready. And next year, I hope my son will be, too.

I can understand your point about your child being the youngest by so much. I think the point is that some kids handle being the youngest without a problem, and for some it is harder. I don't think every summer birthday kid needs to stay home an extra year. I think they should go when they're ready whether that be right after their fifth birthday or right after their sixth.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I sorry my tone offended you. I didn 't mean to "flame" anyone. I think she asked in good faith as well.

I just think this has gotten out of hand. When is the cut off going to be the cut-off? THey change the Dec. to Oct. then the Oct. to Aug. What is next? June? Fine but watch, those born in April/May get held back.

Ok, some are not ready. I agree. But every boy? It should be a few, not the majority. It sounds like your son was not ready. But every child born within six weeks of the cut-off is held back.

I have a problem with it because it is not fair to the kids who go. They are competing with kids who are a year older. I don't want my children in the same room with kids fifteen months, one and a half year older. They are bigger and they know more.

Eventually you don't see the difference, they have to mature in one grade or the other. LIke I said, my son was a nov. birthday. He was the second to youngest in his class (four room schoolhouse, one grade each). He is a sophmore in college, just got into a Civil engineer ing program at a really good school. He did fine. I don't think he would have done any better if I even considered it. My brother was Jan (mother somehow got him in) and he did fine. He is an economist. My nephew is an Oct. baby. His mother, a teacher, wouldn't have dreamed of holding him back. My other nephew,who was held back (they are a week apart), isn't doing half as well.

I think if the cut off is Aug. 31 then it should be Aug. 31. unless your child has some real issues. Especially if they had two years of preschool. And size is not a real reason to hold a child back.

This is an excellent post. I completely agree with you. Part of kindergarten is learning social skills. I was a younger kid in K. End of Oct. birthday here. I can tell you with absolute certainty that my social skills would not have been any different if my parents held me back a year. I was a shy kid. I stopped being shy around 8th grade. Holding me back was not going to change that. Unless of course I started kindergarten at 13. I do think each parent has to make the decision that is best for the child but I do have to agree that holding a kid back because "he's small" is a little over the top for me. JMHO of course.

ETA- I also don't want my children in a class of 6 year olds when they are 5. They are in that class because they're 5.

 

[soonerlpn]

My sons birthday is July 22 and our cutoff is September 1st. I didnt think about holding him out of pre-k but after the first month I was ready to pull my hair out. His teacher called me every day. I had a note in his backpack every day. It was frustrating for both my son and myself. I have the opposite problem of the parents with the littler children, my son is a big kid. No way around it. He is 5 1/2 now and is 4 ft 3 weighs 80 lbs and wears a size 6 shoe. Hes a big kid. So anyway..after the drama with this teacher I seriously considered pulling him out. I wanted him to enjoy school not think it was a place to get into trouble. I went in to talk to the school counselor who observed my son during a couple of class periods. We then had a meeting with the teacher, counselor and principal. At the time the counselor suggested transferring my son to the other pre K teacher and try that. I did and it was like night and day. I am in no way blaming the other teacher but sometimes there are personalities that dont mix. Teachers are human too and sometimes things just dont work. Needless to say my son was so excited to go to school each day once he started with the new teacher. He is now 5 and has 4 more months left until summer where he will be ready to become a first grader. He will turn 6 a few weeks prior to 1st grade.

 

[S'sMom]

Wow, I had no idea this was a popular topic. I say still make your own decision on the issue.

I have noticed one thing though, through here and with my community. It seems that the kids whos parents feel that they should wait, are mostly,( for the most part),parents of boys. Why is that? I am pregnant with my 2nd, that is a boy, and of course he will follow in his sisters footsteps ( I answered earlier). He will start school at 5, but that is just me. But I thought that it was just strange that mostly parents of boys sometimes think that they are not ready.

Again, I do not have an opinion either way, I just know what is best for me and my family. I am a school librarian and my dh is an Architect, and that is our experience on the whole thing.

Good Luck with whatever decision you make. Either way it will be a good one for you.

 

[mom*to*2*princesses]

I'm not reading any of the other replies because responses to this topic can be very strong...

I am in Ohio and I have two DDs, both with end of July birthdays. We waited with our older DD, who is now in 1st grade. I am so glad we waited. She was ready academically and could've gone based on that alone. But school is so rigorous. The social pressures are there, even beginning in kindergarten. I felt emotionally she would benefit from another year in preschool (she ended up going two years 2 days per week, all day to preschool). The result is that she absolutely loves school, she grasps the concepts that are taught fairly easily, and she can handle situations with her peers very well.

DD #2 is 4 right now. At the beginning of this school year we put her in the preschool class of older kids, definitely a pre-k situation. By October her teachers let us know that they thought she needed to go back down to the younger preschool class - meaning that she definitely wouldn't be on track to start kg at 5. Again, I am very much at peace with that decision. Just like her sister, she'll be ready academically but socially is a whole 'nother animal. And she's much less outgoing than her sister. We're working with the preschool to try and get her to be more of a leader. I'm so thankful that her teachers recognize that and are working to give her the tools she needs to be successful.

I like how the preschool teacher put it to us, when we were bemoaning the tough decision of sending DD to kg or waiting a year. She said that we should look at a summer birthday as a blessing, because we get the opportunity to choose. I am grateful for that. Heck, I have a mid September birthday and was sent to school at 4. It didn't affect me academically - or at least my Ivy League masters degree would reflect that - but I think I would've benefited from another year to gain some maturity.

Even if the first few grades are a breeze for your child, a lot of kids seem to "hit the wall" in 3rd and higher. I really don't think you can go wrong by waiting a year. And if you do decide to wait a year, don't let anyone give you any crap about it. It's your kid, your decision. Good luck!

 

[Pembo]

I don't believe in holding them back. My DS was 4 when he started Kindergarten. His bday is Sept 15. We moved that summer. Where we lived the cut-off was Sept 30, where we moved it was Aug 1. I ended up sending him to a private kindergarten in a neighboring city. It was the best decision we ever made. He was more than ready academically.

I had an older and wiser friend who was a teacher that told me that if she had waited for her son to be socially ready for kindergarten she would still be waiting and he was 31.

I have a dd who turned 5, two days before the cut-off and she went as well. Our neighbor boy turned 6 days before my dd and he is in kindergarten too. AND dd has a two boys in her kindergarten class that have already turned 7! That means they will be 19 when they graduate! Eek!

I have been arguing with a teacher in my district (I'm a special ed teacher) all year bc of her bias against a young five in her class. She ignores the fact that the only stability in the girls life is school and blames her behavior on her age. This is a girl who did not know how to hold a pencil in September and could write her name beautifully by November.

It is ultimately your decision. You know your child best.

 

[dogluva]

I agree that people usually turn out just fine as adults whether you hold them back or not. And I am not usually an advocate of making your child's childhood a walk in the park...life is difficult and we can't sheild them from everything. But sometimes keeping them close to you for a little longer makes them feel a little more secure if they're not that way naturally.

My friend's ds is two days older than my son. They play together beautifully, and they know all of the same things. When they enter a group situation, the other little boy is having a great time. My son wants to go home or sit in my lap. On his own, in a social situation, he is lonely. His word, not mine.

Obviously, the other child is ready. And next year, I hope my son will be, too.

I can understand your point about your child being the youngest by so much. I think the point is that some kids handle being the youngest without a problem, and for some it is harder. I don't think every summer birthday kid needs to stay home an extra year. I think they should go when they're ready whether that be right after their fifth birthday or right after their sixth.

Thank you for letting me see the other side. I guess I only thought of my own "ready" child that I didn't think of your child who truly is not ready. I kind of undersand now that you worded it so well.


Good luck. I also have 3 shy (reserved is what I call them) children and it can be challenging at times (especially at middle school). My other three are not even close to being shy and they can be challenging as well (my own fault, my mother said motherhood was tough).

Take Care.

 

[5 for WDW]

Duplicate post..Sorry

 

[5 for WDW]

I have not read all of this thread. I just wanted to mention that I have three kids. Each of them fall at a different end of the cut off date.

Our cut off date is December 1st. School starts the first Weds in September.

Our oldest son turned 5 August 6th the year he started Kindergarten. (He had gone to Nursery school and Pre-K as well) Even though he was not the youngest, he was one of the youngest. He has always done well in school, socially and academically. He is in 5th grade now.

Our middle son missed the December 1st cut off. His birthday is 12/21. So, he was one of the oldest when he started Kindergarten.(He also went to Nursery and Pre-K) He turned 6 in Kindergarten when others had just turned 5. He is in 2nd grade now. There is one other child in 2nd grade older then my son. By two weeks. He is a strong student and does really well in school. There is a difference in between DS and some of the other kids but, that is not based on age. Its more on personality. He does get bummed when he hears of other kids his age that are in a grade higher because of the age cut off. But, he understands it. My nephew is one month older then my son and is in 3rd grade. That is a real sore sport with DS...lol. Thankfully, he is in another school district.

Our DD started Pre-K this past September. She turned 4 on October 10th. She is one of the youngest in the entire program. There are only 2 younger then her. We were actually really nervous when she started the program. We had her in Nursery school last school year for about three days before we took her out. She has always been a very shy little girl and would get extremely upset when we dropped her off. (She is our third..we know about the leave right away and not hang out when dropping them off deal ) Two of the days she got so worked up that she threw up as soon as we walked out the door. The teacher and school had tried to talk us into keeping with the program and seeing if she would get over it. DH and I knew she was not ready so we took her out. So many people commented that we should have left her, etc, but we knew it was right for our DD. We even tossed around the idea of holding her out of Pre-K a year. We decided to give that a go and see how things went from there.
Fast forward to this past September. I went in before the class started and explained to the teacher how DD was in Nursery. She had come a long way socially during the summer so we were hopeful things would be better this time.
Her first day went great and every day since has gone wonderfully. She does not like weekends and had a fit when we had two long weeks off for Xmas. In fact, I had her first Parent/Teacher conference and the first words out of the teachers mouth was that my shy little girl was the "social butterfly of the class". She has made lots of friends and does so easily. She is doing great academically as well. There is really no difference in between DD and the kids that have already turned 5. We are so relieved and know that the little girl that was so not ready for Nursery school will have no problem starting Kindergarten this fall.

Wow..this got long. Sorry. As you can see from our experience with our kids. They are all different. My three kids have three totally different personalities. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. Both in school and out. Not so much because of their age but, because of who they are.

 

[brymolmom]

I'm pretty offended by some people's tone on this issue.

I'm not sure why this angers people so much. I will never understand that. People at the playground want to start fights about it. I feel that I can't share my decision with people because of how they will react.

I was the youngest in my class, and it did have an effect on me until college. I was a smart kid, but could not keep up with the other kids socially. Did it hurt me in the long run? No. But it definitely made things more difficult growing up. He's my baby, and this is what he needs.

I think it's very scary that anyone should say that parental involvement should be taken away in any issue relating to their own child. I think that if parents are expected, and they should be, to take an active role in their child's education, then they should make the choice of when they send their child to school. It is no different than homeschooling, sending kids to private school, etc.

The OP is asking a question, in good faith, and hopefully we will all react in a positive way, no matter what our opinion is. How does flaming those who opt to keep their children home help her in her decision making? She should not feel that she has to send her child to K before it's necessary just because she's worried about angry responses from other parents.

I agree that there are lots of different opinions on this and that is OK - I think everyone is just sharing their opinions (some of them emotional opinions) with the OP in good faith.

I'm not sure how you could really not understand some people being angry about this? Think about it - my 4 year old girl will be in her classroom on time, that she is SUPPOSED to be in and she will have lots and lots of 6 year olds - some 7 by the end of the school year - in that same classroom....all because (in some, not all cases) of some vague 'not ready' determination. Don't you think that will change and hinder how that teacher instructs my child? It has to - these kids will know enough academically to be in 1st grade with 18 months additional learning - so it will be tough, if not impossible, to stick to strictly the kindergarten curriculum for my and others who should be in the class kids.

Just think about it - being the youngest affected you in your educational career - just think if it was today - and how it would have affected you to have that many more kids 18 plus months older than you??? That is the situation that parents who redshirt (only those without real reasons I'm referring to) put the rest of us parents, and our children, in - of course we wouldn't be happy with that. And think about it - someone - you, your child or someone else's child will be the youngest in that classroom. All I want is an equal playing field - kids who are designated in that district as ready - going on time -to give all the kids an equal chance. But many want to tip that scale and make it unequal on day one.

 

[MinnieGi]

The decision to wait (redshirt) or go is such a grueling decision. I know because we have two August birthday kids. Our cutoff is Aug. 31st.

First off let me say that I do not agree with the philosophy of doing K and repeating K if necessary. I believe in giving a child the best situation for success from the start. If waiting a year will give them a better chance at tasting success than that is the way to go. It is so important to feel like a successful student in learning and fitting in with the class. Having confidence in your abilities creates the desire to keep achieving. If a child goes into K and struggles and then has to repeat the year and see friends move on that is a blow to the self-esteem. Some kids overcome it and do well by repeating but in my opinion I'd like to avoid that situation for my kids. I know my very sensitive DD would have been emotionally fragile if that had happend to her.

Let me say that we started DD off in a two day 3yo class where she was the youngest. Her age showed. She had trouble interacting with the other kids as she is also reserved. She was also distracted easily and her fine motor skills were not as good as the rest of the class. She tested as a 3yo and her teacher even said she is right on target for a 3yo, but the vast majority of the class was 4. The teacher and director started talking to us about doing three years of preschool with her as many of the other summer birthday children did there. I began talking to many parents and educators about our predictament. I did have her go onto the 4 yo class, but her young age stuck out even more there. She often played by herself and it broke my heart. She also had a hard time printing. Even though she was accepted into a private K we decided after many talks with her teacher, director, and other parents who also waited it would be in her best intrest to wait on K. We also moved that summer and she started a new preschool for Pre-K year going 5 half days. Wow, what a difference the year made!!!!!!! She had no problem making friends b/c she just fit in better with slightly younger kids. She got a boost of confidence at all the things she could do. Even though she was the oldest, it wasn't by much as the other children started having birthdays right after school started. That extra year helped catch up her fine motor skills too.

Then we started K as a brand new 6 yo and everything really fit together. K is not what is was when we were kids. They are expected to come in knowing how to print all their letters already and to begin reading right away! It wasn't long before she was reading and writing stories and in the spring she actually did 3 mini-research projects! She made friends and on her report card both this year and in first grade it is noted at what a good leader she is and both teachers have commented to me how much the other kids like working and playing with DD.

Every parent I talked to who had their child wait the year for K, NONE of them regretted the decision. But I talked to more than just a few who went with the cut-off and they wish they hadn't. Even if the kid didn't have to repeat K, the kids were struggling in some way in school some academically, some socially because of maturity.

We are doing the same thing with DS. Even though DS doesn't have the social reserved issues that DD had, I know it will benefit him from a maturity point of view.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I agree - it is all the redshirting that is changing what is 'expected' and what is taught in Kindergarten - of course 6 year olds would be bored learnign what is supposed to be taught in the classroom.

I'm just amazed how many people don't think their kids are 'ready' and are too 'immature' - I guess things have changed since every parent thought their kid was the brightest, best kid in the bunch! If the cutoff in your area states that 4 year olds are 'supposed' to go to Kindergarten -- than THAT is your rule of thumb - is your child at the 'normal' maturity level for a 4 year old? Is he/she behave emotionally like his/her age would indicate appropriate? I just can't believe how many people think their kids are below average so much in these areas and so below average that they think they can't exist productively in a classroom made for that age!

Even in this thread - people are talking about holding back so that their child is bigger/taller?????? What should parents of little people do? Should they homeschool because their children will NEVER be as tall as others? I think we need to give our kids the self-confidence no matter what their size to be themselves in any classroom or in any group and be proud of it. Same with emotional maturity - let's give our kids some credit and assume they CAN do it instead of that they can't.

I've said it before - this problem will never be resolved until parental choice is removed.

I agree and disagree with some of your statements.
Besides Kindergarten curriculum and expectations, Our only option is full-day Kindergarten. I think asking most 4 year olds to sit still and pay attention for 8 hours is too much.
I think the reason people are holding is because OTHERS are holding.
To be honest, I think my DD would be okay going to K, but I don't think its fair if she has another kid in her class 16-17 months older than her.
I agree that removing parental choice would solve the issue...HOWEVER...I don't know if that is the best solution.
I don't understand why there isn't a federal mandate for cut-off dates. State to state, its very confusing...... some have July cut-offs, August cut-offs, September cut-offs, Mid October cut-offs....etc.....It should be consistent throughout the states.
Maybe a solution would be having some gray area, but limiting parental choice. For example, Let's say the cut-off is September 30, it could be a mandatory date with the exception of October, September and August children. THose parents could maybe have the choice, and if other kids OLDER than that need to be held, they would need to verify why they are holding with a teaching professional.
Its just an idea... I agree that SOME sort of boundary needs to be set-up.

 

[alicenwonder99]

Do what is in your heart.... but I've talk to a million people about this.... I've heard a handful a people say they regretted pushing their child forward, but I haven't heard anyone regret holding their child back.

Against my better judgement, I sent my ds to Kindergarten when he was 4. His bday is Aug 30th (cut off is Sep 1). His preschool teacher said he was ready, my dh felt he was ready, people told me I was "babying" him because he was my youngest.

On the first day of school, I knew it was a mistake. The children were much bigger than him, more mature, and better academically. My ds could barely write his name and most of these children were already reading!

The whole Kindergarten year was a complete disaster. My ds just fell so far behind that I believe his teacher pretty much gave up on him. Well, I'm sure she didn't, but I could see from his papers he brought home that most of them weren't finished, or his writing was pretty much scribbles.

Anyway, I had him do Kindergarten over again and it was the BEST thing. He was so prepared, he got taller, and he excelled. Now, my ds will NEVER be the smartest kid in his class, but in that year he thought he was. His self-esteem in school shot up incredibly!!

He is now in First Grade and does very, very well in some areas (like Math), and still struggles in other areas (like sitting still, and his reading level isn't very high). I don't even want to think what school would be like for him if I didn't have him repeat Kindergarten.

With talking to other parents, it seems most kids are kept back if they have a summer bday. Unless your child is exceptionaly brilliant, I would recommend holding him back a year.

Good luck with your decision.