Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

[glennbo123]

Augggh! You've posted a chapter on one of my busiest workdays!

 

[glennbo123]

Loved this chapter! From the redneck wineglasses to the redneck shades and all of the golf commentary in-between. Not to mention the super-easy quotes I missed because I was busy working.

As you can see from the clubhouse, this is a relatively fancy-pants establishment.

Are you kidding? I could tell just from your pants.

It's a shame he's gone, because he had the eye of a true artist.

If he'd been able to find Van Gogh's ear, he'd a had a whole set.

What? Too soon? Sorry, I couldn't resist.



And the lie is that you hit a tee shot to within 10 feet of the pin. Your putts didn't get to 10 feet from the pin.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Augggh! You've posted a chapter on one of my busiest workdays!

Sorry, Glenn. I try to vary the posting times, and I happen to be home with a sick kid today, so it seemed as good a time as any. You'll have to e-mail me your work schedule for the rest of the week.

 

[MissLiz]

Great update! A whole bunch of golf quotes going on in there. lol

We just bought two of those redneck wine glasses (the actual glass ones) for my sister-in-law in Michigan. Of course, here in Georgia they are called Southern Wine Glasses. I want a couple for myself, actually.

Now, which part is the lie?

I'm thinking......I'm going to go with Dave becoming a ghost because, well, I would hope that you would have a lot more feeling about your child deciding to become a ghost than to just say "he became a ghost".



Sorry, I find myself funnier than everyone else does.


I was really going to say that the lie was that your shot hit about 10 feet from the pin, but I wanted to be nice.

 

[marvali]

Pop quiz, hotshot: you're at the beach for a week and your family is already redder than a British soldier's uniform. What do you do?

Head out to Wally World and buy the 55 gallon drum of industrial strength aloe???

We stopped by The Hammock Shops Village and naturally did not look at any hammocks. Rather, we concentrated on the toy shop, the candy shop, and the "let's see if we can get the dumb tourists to buy THIS crap" shop. It was here that I was sorely tempted to finally complete our fine china set, since we never did get everything we registered for at our wedding.

Sure you didn't take this picture at South of the Border and just forget to use it until now???

We were going to use one of the ubiquitous (there's an SAT word for you) $1-off-for-everyone coupons to take the family mini-golfing, but we ended up with some early pixie dust: after choosing a course on the strict criteria that it looked fun from the highway, we pulled into the lot and a gentleman walked up to us as we were piling out. He had a free game coupon that he wasn't going to be able to use, so he gave it to us.

I'm guessing this is a lie! Any course that looks fun from the highway doesn't need to give out UB40 $1 off coupons to drum up business.......

And, in a bit of foreshadowing, we got a glimpse of the backside of water:

Sounds like what happened in some of those Olympic diving events!!!

Later in the week, my buddies and I got the chance to play some "real" golf.

Lie! With your golf game, you have no chance to play real golf........

As you can see from the clubhouse, this is a relatively fancy-pants establishment. It was barely a mile drive from our rental home, so that was a plus.

Okay, guessing this is a lie. Knowing this course is on the opposite side of Hwy 17 from the ocean, and you were close enough to see the ocean, I will guess it was more than "barely a mile drive."

3rd hole (island green):

Hmmmm, if that water gets much lower you will be able to walk on dry land all the way to that island green!!!

Me taking a mighty rip. It's in the hole!

Okay Mr. Poopy Pants, in your case when you take a mighty rip you are usually bent over a little with a grimace on your face!!! And it isn't IN the hole....................well, not any longer anyway!!!

Also, not long after we teed off, we played a hole that went right past the clubhouse parking lot. So Dave (we were calling him Jarvis at that point, since he was serving as our caddy) took a right turn and rescued some adult beverages from the cooler he'd been forced to leave in the car. Mark's Buddies 1, Snooty Golf Course 0.

Seriously? I would hope it was at least Mark's Buddies-6(pack), Snooty Golf Course-0

Sticking with the golf theme, we found a short par 3 course in the area that the boys begged me to play. So I took them out while Julie and Sarah went shopping for a shark-tooth necklace (don't ask).

Lie! You know good and well that you begged them to go with you so you had an excuse not to go shopping..........

Here, Dave takes a mighty rip. Still working on differentiating between a golf swing and a baseball swing. But then again, so am I.

Yeah, me too........

Scotty does a "P" for Pawleys:

Or, because the S was already taken by Sarah........

So, as you can see, even when we weren't swimming, we were still having fun.

Except for your buds who were behind you when you took that mighty rip.........

And the lie is that you hit a tee shot to within 10 feet of the pin. Your putts didn't get to 10 feet from the pin.

Would tend to agree with this............unless we are talking about the mini-golf where the hole is only 10 feet from the tee box...........

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Pop quiz, hotshot: you're at the beach for a week and your family is already redder than a British soldier's uniform. What do you do?

Take in some of local museums, historic sites and other cultural offerings?

Well, for one thing, you go souvenir shopping.

Well yes… there is that option I suppose.

…and the "let's see if we can get the dumb tourists to buy THIS crap" shop.

Hay… you stopped at “South of the Boarder”
You’ve seen worse…

…but we ended up with some early pixie dust: after choosing a course on the strict criteria that it looked fun from the highway, we pulled into the lot and a gentleman walked up to us as we were piling out. He had a free game coupon that he wasn't going to be able to use, so he gave it to us.

The Grand-Strand equivalent of scoring extra fast passes
(but these save money rather then time).

Score!

Later in the week, my buddies and I got the chance to play some "real" golf. Or at least dress the part while losing golf balls.

My friend Greg and I would be playing, while my other friend Dave would simply be riding along. I asked the course ahead of time if he could ride, and they said no problem, and no charge.

Pretty decent of them for a Fancy-Pants Establishment

So, when we walked into the clubhouse to pay our greens fee, of course they tried to charge a cart rental fee for Dave.

That’s more like it… “Arrogantly Shabby”

After standing our ground on that one, they relented and let us go. But, Dave could not bring the cooler of adult beverages with him. This, he was told, was for "liability" reasons.

Liable to reduce their beverage sales

Anyway, we got to the first tee under threatening skies. Huge dark thunderheads had built up, but we didn't see any lightning. Greg wondered if we should stay back, but I told him I'd keep playing. I didn't think the heavy stuff would come down for quite some time now.

It turned out that Pawleys Island weather was a little strange that way--storms would build and build and build, threaten an awe-inspiring show, and then just completely disappear. Kind of like the Philadelphia Eagles every year.

Either the lie in this update is hidden very well or I’m over thinking it…
(and I suspect it’s option two there). That being the case, I’m going with this passage here.

Not the bit about the Eagles, they do have a tendency to vanish like a fart in the wind. No it’s the bit about the threatening weather. Based on your pictures form as early as the third hole, either the sky cleared up mightily quick or it was a perfectly sunny day to begin with and you just needed a way to work another golf movie quote in there.

It was either this on or the bit about being 10 feet from the pin after a tee shot...
but calling that one as BS just seemed a bit harsh

took a right turn and rescued some adult beverages from the cooler he'd been forced to leave in the car. Mark's Buddies 1, Snooty Golf Course 0.

Nicely played sir!

Let the record show that I lost 4 defective golf balls during the course of the round.

Defective?

So I took them out while Julie and Sarah went shopping for a shark-tooth necklace (don't ask).

Wouldn’t dream of it.

Note the golf-course appropriate visor with the inappropriate Animal t-shirt.

Is there such a thing as an inappropriate shirt on a par-3 in the Carolinas?

Heck, if he’d taken the shirt off and turned the visor around backwards he’d have been all set for a local news cast interview about the UFO he just done seen.

Finally, we found that you get a lot less sunburned on the beach after the sun goes down.

Word’s of wisdom right there folks.

We got the kids some glowsticks and Julie played with the camera.

And those are some really fun images.
Thanks for sharing them.

Coming Up Next: Somebody drops the ball and lets our family onto an aircraft carrier.

11 battle stars, 3 armed conflicts, multiple airborne attacks, survived typhoons and hurricanes; honored to have been part of the Apollo Recovery fleet…

I think “The Lady” is tough enough to take it.

 

[IrisSphere]

Love reading your review - can't wait for the surprise part! I am surprising my husband (sort of a kid in an adult's body), so looking forward to the tips!

 

[KatMark]

LOVE LOVE LOVE the red solo cup. For some reason it made me think of Barry. Don't ask me why?

What a fun, although pricey, day. My oldest son would LOVE that golf course. He has a bad habit, however, of losing many defective balls on some days.

Looks like the kids were having a good time at the mini-golf; and I love the glows on the beach.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Pop quiz, hotshot: you're at the beach for a week and your family is already redder than a British soldier's uniform. What do you do?

Outfit the British Army with pasty white uniforms and hope you follow suit?

We stopped by The Hammock Shops Village and naturally did not look at any hammocks.

Untrue. I find it hard to believe that at no time did a hammock come into your field of view.

the "let's see if we can get the dumb tourists to buy THIS crap" shop.

Finally, truth in advertising!

Here, Sarah celebrates a hole-in-one:

Not to be outdone, Dave followed up a couple of holes later:

No holes-in-one for Scotty, but he did conquer this fake rock. So he has that going for him, which is nice.

The Oblivious went 3 for 3 in awesomeness on the day!

Hmmm...no final scores were posted, which can only mean one thing.

How bad did Julie beat you, Mark?

And, in a bit of foreshadowing, we got a glimpse of the backside of water:

Meh. That's just South Carolina water (which appears to be dyed blue). It's not Nile water. Or Amazon water. Or whatever river you're on when you see the backside of water.

Summer-late-afternoon-twilight-after-4pm-rate: $49.

A bit higher than my game is usually worth, but ok for vacation. We booked a 4:00 tee time.

Mark, the twilight rate if for after 4:00. If you booked a 4:00 tee time, you're clearly not after 4:00. Rookie mistake.

You wouldn't happen to be selling beer in the clubhouse, would you?

Yes, clean, refreshing, overpriced, liability-free beer.

It turned out that Pawleys Island weather was a little strange that way--storms would build and build and build, threaten an awe-inspiring show, and then just completely disappear. Kind of like the Philadelphia Eagles every year.

HA! It's funny because it's TRUE! (The Eagles part. I have no idea about the weather part. Maybe you should throw a battery at the cloud...)

Me taking a mighty rip. It's in the hole! Ok, not exactly. But this was one of my better shots. Ended up about 10 feet from the pin.

Wow, even the camera can't keep up with the speed of your swing. Does that mean you're going faster than the speed of light?

The beautiful 18th hole. I snap-hooked a tee shot about 50 yards left into the pond here.

I can help you with that. 8 lessons at $95 each with me and you'll be snap hooking that tee shot 75 yards left into the pond.

Also, not long after we teed off, we played a hole that went right past the clubhouse parking lot. So Dave (we were calling him Jarvis at that point, since he was serving as our caddy) took a right turn and rescued some adult beverages from the cooler he'd been forced to leave in the car. Mark's Buddies 1, Snooty Golf Course 0.

The student had become the teacher. Well done.

And excellent golf course pictures. Looks like a great day!

So I took them out while Julie and Sarah went shopping for a shark-tooth necklace (don't ask).

Why were Julie and Sarah shopping for a shark-tooth necklace? Do you have any pictures of it? Was it for Julie or for Sarah? What kind of shark did it come from? What color is it? Is it on a chain or a string? Does it still smell like fish? Is it sharp? Are there any vegetarian sharks that have molars?

Scotty tees off. Note the golf-course appropriate visor with the inappropriate Animal t-shirt.

What's inappropriate about the shirt? It's FreezinRafiki Approved!

Here, Dave takes a mighty rip. Still working on differentiating between a golf swing and a baseball swing. But then again, so am I.

There's a difference? Besides being sober for one, I mean...

Here, Sarah gives us an S for, well, Sarah:

That's great, but one small question:
Where the H E Double Hockey Sticks is her ARM?

So, as you can see, even when we weren't swimming, we were still having fun.

Redneck Window Shades. Feel free to use this one at home. And you're welcome.

Sorry Mark. Walmart bags would be Redneck. Trader Joe's is not.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

LOVE LOVE LOVE the red solo cup. For some reason it made me think of Barry. Don't ask me why?

Seems like lots of things remind you of me, Kathy.

 

[eandesmom]

It really was a great beach. If some idiot could remember not to jump immediately back in the water after putting sunscreen on, we would have been fine.

yikes. My kids argued about that one constantly but you know, cooking it into the skin before jumping in does help it have a chance at working.

That and making them be fully clothed while in the water.

Redneck Window Shades. Feel free to use this one at home. And you're welcome.

Ok, that's even better than the red solo cup. Nice golf adventures! And price, it's a crazy expensive sport, good thing I (we) don't like it much to my in laws dismay.

Love the glow stick pictures m, what a cool idea!

 

[Poolrat]

Good call on getting out of the sun. Mini golf is a great way as long as you can hide under a tree.

Must have more info on that shark tooth necklace. Wonder if she found one. Like they are on every corner WINGS store

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

Scotty tees off. Note the golf-course appropriate visor with the inappropriate Animal t-shirt. And the oblivious drivers, who have no idea how much danger they're in right now.

I have to say....I called this course to see if there was a dress code.....I had packed collared shirts for the boys just in case.....and the lady at the "pro shop" croaked into the phone, "No tank tops. No speedos." Well then. That just about settles it.

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

How bad did Julie beat you, Mark?


Mark, the twilight rate if for after 4:00. If you booked a 4:00 tee time, you're clearly not after 4:00. Rookie mistake.


Why were Julie and Sarah shopping for a shark-tooth necklace? Do you have any pictures of it? Was it for Julie or for Sarah? What kind of shark did it come from? What color is it? Is it on a chain or a string? Does it still smell like fish? Is it sharp? Are there any vegetarian sharks that have molars?


That's great, but one small question:
Where the H E Double Hockey Sticks is her ARM?

Sorry Mark. Walmart bags would be Redneck. Trader Joe's is not.

 

[Wherem I Now]

We stopped by The Hammock Shops Village and naturally did not look at any hammocks.

I gotta agree that this is the lie. My guess is that you spent the better part of the shopping trip "checking out" the hammocks. That's what I would have done.

Rather, we concentrated on the toy shop, the candy shop, and the "let's see if we can get the dumb tourists to buy THIS crap" shop. It was here that I was sorely tempted to finally complete our fine china set, since we never did get everything we registered for at our wedding.

They have one of those shops on the North end of MB as well. Calabash Nautical Gifts is the place that I typically lose DW, DMom, and all the other women in our party for about an hour or more every trip on our seafood night. Saw the same fine drinkware there ten days ago.

after choosing a course on the strict criteria that it looked fun from the highway

I know people who house hunt that way too...

we pulled into the lot and a gentleman walked up to us as we were piling out. He had a free game coupon that he wasn't going to be able to use, so he gave it to us.

Here, Sarah celebrates a hole-in-one:

Not to be outdone, Dave followed up a couple of holes later:

No holes-in-one for Scotty, but he did conquer this fake rock. So he has that going for him, which is nice.

And conspicuously, no indication of how your game went.

Later in the week, my buddies and I got the chance to play some "real" golf. Or at least dress the part while losing golf balls.

I avoid "Real Golf". Particularly due to that whole losing balls thing.

3rd hole (island green):

At least the cell phone service should be good on that hole.

Me taking a mighty rip.

Dude. What did you eat?

Let the record show that I lost 4 defective golf balls during the course of the round. However, Jarvis found 6, so we came out ahead.

Recorded!

Here, Dave takes a mighty rip.

Like Father like Son.

Finally, we found that you get a lot less sunburned on the beach after the sun goes down.

Best time to be on the beach!

We got the kids some glowsticks and Julie played with the camera. Here, Sarah gives us an S for, well, Sarah:

NICE!

Scotty does a "P" for Pawleys:

Awesome!

Dave didn't figure it out at first and decided to just become a ghost:

I'll leave you with one final image, since I have nowhere else in the report to put this but can't leave it out. The house had no shades on the windows in the dining room, which proved to be a problem at dinner time since the sun was directly in our eyes. So, to combat that issue, I give you...

Redneck Window Shades. Feel free to use this one at home. And you're welcome.

Trader Joe's UPGRADE!

That's great, but one small question:
Where the H E Double Hockey Sticks is her ARM?

You took the thought right outta my head!

 

[MEK]

South carolina is so beautiful. What a lovely golf course.

Love the redneck solo cups. I saw those in Williamsburg - must be a southern thing.

Cute pictures of the kids on the beach - cool glow stick pics. And - love the mini golf pics. That's a very pretty course.

 

[vamassey1]

We actually bought the redneck glasses as a gift for my niece.

You can't go to the beach without a shopping trip, especially if you're with females.

Lovely pictures of the golf course. Glad you guys enjoyed your game. I'm really liking the night pictures of the kids on the beach. Glow stuff can be so fun. I hope you saved some for the parks.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Speed

+1

Caddyshack

+1

Speed.

great update Mark! Nice shots on the golf course.....the pictures...not your game.

Thanks Scott! I think.

Family Feud

+1

Caddyshack

+1

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Caddyshack

+1

... Wazowski

Monsters Inc.

Didn't intend this as a quote...and couldn't find it on imdb.

Either that's a lie, or you're not as smart as we give you credit for. And I'll even admit, we don't give you much credit.

Well, I've never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Those are usually the most entertaining.

Most definitely. It's not a vacation unless you go into a crappy gift shop somewhere.

Jungle Cruise (not a movie or TV show, but still a quote)

I hereby award you 1 attaboy.

Did they check the golf bags???

Those had already been placed at the bag drop area to be loaded onto the carts. So we improvised later.

It's funny because it's true!

Unless Micael Vick's prediction is right and they're going to become a dynasty now.

I watched the Eagles' first-team offense and defense play in the first preseason game against the Steelers. My verdict: our situation has not improved.

Lie... you even admitted it!

So which is it? You need to pick a final answer.

And if it's intended as the lie, would I admit to it in the chapter?

Indeed. Looks like a great time!

That engineering degree is finally coming in handy, isn't it?

Since I do not profit from these vacations...no, it's not.

Star Wars

(IV... the Real one)

+1

These two pictures kind of go together, nice bookending!

Why, thank you! It is a rather redneck-ian chapter.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Speed, and Caddyshack was in there again too.

Great update! The golf course looks really pretty.

Thanks! It was a really nice course. Good job finding the movie quotes...looks like the others beat you to the punch.

So I guess it really wasn't just that chapter where you explained all that happened lol Anyways, looks like you had a lot of fun playing golf. A shame you guys couldn't have all gotten hole-in-ones though. LOL @ the backside of water, pretty much like the front right? Haha

If holes-in-one were easy, everybody would be a golfer.

And the full-on golf course you went to is very nice like you said, I guess you can use that as a distraction for losing all those balls to the water lol Great night pictures with the glow sticks, wish my camera was that nifty haha

Julie had read about that photo trick and wanted to try it. Turned out really well!

But I did catch a movie reference in there:

"David! Don't go into the light!"

Poltergeist, right? Probably wrong, but it was a guess.

You got it! Good job. +1

Poltergeist

Dang… I got beat to that one.

Tin Cup

+1

Caddyshack

I can't believe I missed that the first time through.

+1 Don't worry, so did the others.

More! More! More! Please!! How can I not love a trippie that includes our family vacation from last year (except it was North Myrtle), our trip this year (to WDW, but kids have known for months) written by a fellow Phillies fan? I'm a glutton for punishment!! Pile it on

Phillies fans are always welcome here!