Awww, D you are going through so much emotionally and physically for/with your dad I hopethat you feel safe/comfortable coming here to talk to us about it. You, as a caregiver need that support system and I want you to know that I am here for you.
I know that helping your parents understand financially what they want isn't always what they can have is difficult, it's way harder than dealing with children, that's for sure!
Love the class of 2017 borders, so perfect!
MM and SC are adorable big babies, I have a German Shepherd who thinks she is a baby too, so it makes my heart melt and giggle when I see your fur babies!
Thank you - it's been tough... Especially with him being on isolation the entire time he has been in the nursing home - I feel so guilty that he doesn't have any social interaction right now.... I've been doing my best to spend extra time with him - though that's been hard as I still have to work and take care of my family/life obligations.
It is so difficult - though I do think that Dad is coming around... He is getting better about understanding that he will have to give up some things in order to gain other things - but it's been a process for sure.
I was so happy that we were still able to get them! I've been stalking the site in order to add them to our favorites.
Hahaha - that they are! I think all animals are babies.
I am glad you enjoy seeing them!
I hope your cold doesn't get too bad. I hope you feel better soon
I'm so sorry the grocery shopping was more expensive than you planned. It's not easy to stick with your budget when unexpected things happen.
The pictures from WDW with the graduation banner looks great.
I'm so sorry to hear your dad has the MRSA bacteria. I hope he can get rid of it soon. How great that you and V was able to visit him yesterday.
How sad that he doesn't understand how hard it is to find a place for him with in his budget and that is in a safe neighborhood.
Great photos of the dogs and you.
Yesterday it started snowing here. It must have been snowing during the night as well because today it's snow on the ground. The roads are snow free, but I wouldn't have liked to drive without winter tires. I haven't changed to summer tires on my car yet since they predicted more snow. They say we are getting temperatures below freezing point next week as well, so I'm not sure when I will get the tires changed. The law say to change the tires by 1st May if the weather don't say otherwise. The police normally don't go out and check if people has their summer tires on until after 17th May. When the police starts their controls you will get a fine for using winter tires. But as long as the weather is below freezing point and they say it's risk of snowing the police won't check if you have summer tires on.
I am pretty much recovered from my cold - it held on much longer than I would have liked, but it wasn't anything unbearable.
It was hard - but we did make it through that time frame with the groceries we had... Already into the next one. LOL
V and I were so excited to get them added to our pictures! I knew they would be available eventually - it was just a matter of me remembering to go back to add them. I'll probably check into
MDE one more time before her pictures expire in Nov just to see if there is anything great I can add to them. I'd love to see them add back the Walt Disney World stickers - I used those on almost every photo as they were just classic.
It's frustrating for him... And for me - as I know he is in isolation, so he gets no contact with anyone unless I go up to visit - which is difficult, as I've taken so much time off of work recently. I am just doing the best I can and hopeful that it's enough.
Dad is coming around as far as what's available to him for living... I really had to sit down and explain it though - once I did, he has been much better with it... Still annoyed, but better. I think he is starting to see that he will have to give up a few things in order to gain other things - hopefully the sacrifice is worth it for him.
Hopefully the weather is becoming more spring like for you and you have your summer tires on by now... It's a sign of better weather at least.
I really enjoyed seeing you in your new wheelchair wearing your costume... I think that is my favorite time of year for you, as I know how much you enjoy participating in your National Holidays!
I hope you are doing well Lillian!
It is wonderful that your girls can come back and re-read your TRs and relive these beautiful memories.
Oh and I finally finished your TR and now I am sad I don't know what to read now
I love that about writing them... It's like our trips can live on forever.
Oh no!!!! Believe me, I am working hard at getting something else going.
MRSA?! Oh my!! That's not good. Is he just a carrier or does he have an active infection? A coworker of mine had that after a surgery and it was not fun. I pray it gets under control soon! I'm glad you got your Dad outside to enjoy some sunshine - the sun is a great healer and also great for the emotions! I can always tell when I need a good dose of sunshine to boost my spirits and energy.
Your dogs are so cute!! Mark and I babysat an adorable baby from church last night and my dogs were very, very jealous. Lol! After the baby went home Sadie (my mini dachshund) wouldn't leave my side or get off my lap. Jealous girl!!
I love Aldi - I get most of our fresh fruits abs veggies there - it's great! My typical Saturday grocery shopping trip includes Aldi, Super Target, and Costco. My Aldi had cases of Hint flavored water yesterday-- yum! It's understandable that you would go over your grocery budget after spending so much time with your dad and having to eat out so much during that time.
I am sure your Dad will come around on the housing situation. It's got to be hard to change living situations at that stage of life and in poor health....but you have his best interests at heart and would never let him live in an unsafe area. I pray that the transition will be an easy one for him.
Brie had a great time at prom last night. We found her dress on clearance at Lord and Taylor for about $60. Yea! Her school prom was last night but she didn't go to that one - our church does a church prom for all the youth in the area (juniors and seniors) and she went to that one. She did the same thing last night. Because it's put on by the church they have set standsrds for what the kids wear, and I like that. I saw too pix of kids going to the school prom who looked like they were mission by significant portions of their dresses!! Lol Thank you for the kind compliments on her and her dress. She asked me to do her hair for prom and I really enjoyed that....but was feeling quite sentimental about it all.... We are celebrating her birthday today with my parents and some family friends so that will be fun.
Have a great week!
It sounds like he is both a carrier and also carries the active bacteria on occasion. It's a confusing thing to me, and I admit that I don't understand if fully. Dad has been doing really well with getting outside... Which surprises me - as most times, he just likes to sit in his apartment and watch TV - so getting him outside is sometimes a chore... It seems like he has been doing it willingly while he has been in the nursing home - which is good.
I hope it continues once he goes home.
Thanks! Josh has them up at the lake this weekend - so it's been a little strange not having them home... I still find myself closing the gate to the living room all the time. LOL
Yes - the grocery budget over the last weeks was a bit tough... Our fridge was definitely bare at the end there.
I would have liked nothing more than to chuck the budget out the window and go grocery shopping early - but we all persevered and became creative with our food choices for the last few days - and miraculously we survived.
I didn't even have to clean out the fridge before I went grocery shopping on Friday - LOL - as there was nothing to clean out. That part was kind of nice.
He is doing much better - I think he is starting to understand that there just aren't any other choices... Sadly. It's to the point where he will have to give up some things to enjoy other things... I do think that he is really looking forward to the move and being near us - his eyes really light up every time we talk about it. And even the girls - they are just so excited... There are days during the week where Allison has to "kill time" between jobs - and stopping by to see Grandpa for an hour or so is the perfect opportunity for her to spend some time with him... It's little things like that, which just (logistically) cannot happen now. Or even - when I go to town... I can stop by and pick him up to make a quick trip to the store - as things stand right now - to do that is an all day trip for me, while taking time off of work and being totally exhausted at the end. So many things just fall right into place - and as the time goes on, we are all more and more convinced that this is the best decision for all of us - to the point that I think we all wish we would have considered it sooner.
Brie was just beautiful! And I loved seeing the video of Alyssa's wedding on FB! That was super cool! Such beautiful girls you have!
Any more news on the move??? Update???
Thank you - same to you!
Aw having a cold is not fun, it's funny you mention it, I also caught one, I think it's from all the stress of final exams... Feel better though!
Glad to hear your dad is doing well. I hope everything with his new place to live goes well.
Love the pictures of the dogs!
I hope you're feeling better and finals went well for you! You must be close to going home for the summer if you aren't there already?
My cold is much better - it never really hit me too hard, but it sure hung on for a while - nothing I couldn't live with though.
We are getting there... It's been a little bit of a struggle finding the right place for him - but I think I have made my final decision... I'll talk more about it below.
Thanks - I love sharing them here. They are such goof-balls!
We have talked about my dad and a nursing home if and when he needs it. My brother-in-law went through it with his parents and told me about taking all his income and just leaving him a small amount. I imagine it is shocking for your dad to hear, but once he realizes he doesn't need much maybe he won't mind so much. Plus the benefits of being near you will be so great for him. It sounds like he is accepting it at least. Once he gets moved I bet he will love it.
We went to my granddaughter's first soccer game last night. Of course it was called after 15 minutes because of lightning. I didn't mind not sitting in the rain for the whole game. If it just rains they keep playing, but lightning even in the distance stops it immediately. They said we had to wait 20 minutes before they could play if it stopped, but both coaches just decided to call it. Which ended up being good as it rained for quite a while last night.
Love the 2017 pictures. I think they had those when I did my pictures. I need to go back and see if there are any new ones for my pictures. We also had the annual pass and I think I went back and added some things to my pics from the year before. I need to check to make sure though. I'm still working on my scrapbook and could use a few more pictures.
Sorry to hear you caught a cold. Usually spring colds don't seem as bad to me. Hope you feel better.
It's been tough for Dad, but you are right - I think the more we talk about the benefits and what's available to him here - it's just a really great move and I truly think his quality of life will be much better = a stronger will to live as independently as possible for as long as possible... I almost feel like - for a while there - he was just very "ho-hum" about his daily life, and feeling very lonely - it's hard to have a strong will to live if you are lonely all of the time. I feel a LOT of guilt for that. I am working diligently to make progress there.
It seems like we have had so much rain lately - and now the cold too... Sigh. I am sure we will go straight into summer though. LOL
Yes - go back to check to see if there is anything new. I am glad I ordered the CD during that little window where all of my pictures from all 3 trips were still available... So now, I just go back and check every once in a while to see if there are any new borders to add to V's trip - since that is the only trip I have yet that I can edit.
I am doing much better now - thank you!
I hope you are doing well and staying warm!
Popping in to say ' hello ' and that I'm so happy to see that your father is doing better. I agree with you in making 1 move is better than multiple. I'm sure everything will work out for the best :
Thank you - it's good to see you!
I am making good progress on finding Dad a place to live near me... I am pretty sure I have a plan - now it's just getting everything into place properly. I'll do a nice update on Dad below.
So glad to read that your dad is doing better. Sounds like you have chosen a good option for him, even if he doesn't understand that yet. Having him closer will definitely make it so much easier for all of you. Best of luck!
Thank you - I am doing my best... It seems like there are really no "great" options for him - but there are definitely some that are better than others - all for different reasons.
We are just looking forward to spending good time with him during the course of our days, vs' having to take an entire day out of our weeks to spend very little time with him - as most of it now is travel time.
We all strongly feel like this is the best decision ever and we are a bit disappointed that we didn't consider it sooner.
I hope you and the family are doing well.
Hi, D! Just popping in because I haven't in a bit. Reading about the issue of $$ and finding a safe place for your Dad reminds me so much of watching my Mom and aunts go through the same thing for my Grandma. It's really a shame in our country that we do nothing to care for our elderly. She was inthe same boat as far as the place taking every last penny. She didn't even have any money leftover
Hope it all works out in the end. Safety and proximity to your family will surely be a positive once he can see it!
Hi Jackie!
It's such a shame - I agree completely. I know how much your Grandmother means to you - and I also feel like I've gotten to know her through you... It is terrible that, as a country, we cannot provide better for our own.
Thank you... I do think I've found an option for Dad... I'll do more detail below.
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Dad update:
So the last few weeks have been a little crazy... It seems the biggest obstacle to moving dad - at the moment - are the waiting lists. I fully admit to putting the cart before the horse in this case... I've managed to call every single assisted living facility within a 20 mile radius, put Dad on their waiting lists - THEN touring at my convenience. This has worked very well - as it has kept my "frantic-ness" to a minimum. Most places have a 6-18 month waiting list, so as long as I have him in line - It's not as urgent for me to go look, and I can always pull him off of the list if I don't like the place. At the moment - I believe he is on about 15 lists.
That being said - I feel like we have come to a decision. In living the last years with him so far away - I hate to say that the location has become a priority and really a deciding factor in our decision... As long as the facility can provide the care he needs, their location is really what is making or breaking the deal. I've narrowed it down to 2 places right now...
The first apartment is suitable for a good while yet - it is less than 4 blocks from the Target I work at, and in the town I spend the most time in... On top of that, currently, they don't have a waiting list - so theoretically, I could move him now. The apartment itself is very nice - and comes with a very small kitchen (which is a bonus - as most of these places do not have a kitchen)... The facility is nice and has many activities, and they pride themselves on their "home made meals"... Which - if you know my Dad, this is important. Sadly - this particular apartment does NOT provide "continuation of care" - so he won't be able to stay here forever..
The second apartment, I just toured on Friday... This facility is VERY similar to where he is living now. They DO provide continuation of care, so when he moves here - he will be able to stay here for the rest of his life. The apartment, in this case, is very sucky (IMO) - no kitchen at all - and the bathroom is less than stellar - to say the least. That alone is enough for me to not make him live here until it's absolutely medically necessary. This particular building though is not only attached to the nursing home, but it is also attached to the hospital - so in reality - the continuation of care is all encompassing. Location is not terrible here - it's roughly a mile from the Target that I work at. Their activities are stellar - and sound like a lot of fun... It's stuff that I would tag along on if I am allowed... Going to the local free zoo (the one my Dad used to take me to when I was a little girl)... Going to Twins games... And even going on "surprise excursions" - where they sign up to go, but have no idea where they are going until they get there... I'd totally do that! LOL Not only that - but all of the staff I interacted with during my visit was very "down to earth" and friendly... Finding a place where Dad fits in is very important to me, as his mental disability as also a factor in where he lives. If it wasn't for the suckiness of the apartment itself - I'd move him here immediately. Sadly - their waiting list is long... 6-12 months...
So, here's the plan... As of now - ideally - we will move Dad here either Aug 1, Sept 1 or Oct 1... Depending on when an apartment in the first facility opens up. We cannot do it before then - as with V's graduation and going to Europe - June 1 and July 1 are out of the question. We plan to downsize his belongings from his current 1 bedroom apartment when we move - as everything local (with his wavier) is a studio apartment... We will move him into the first apartment - and God willing - he will stay there as long as possible, until it's medically necessary to move him to the 2nd facility. We figure - once he is local, and only has "stuff" to fill a studio apartment - packing/moving him will be a simple weekend task. And - he will be able to enjoy just "being here" with us for a longer period of time. If we were to wait until the other facility opens up - potentially - he might not (medically) be able to enjoy the freedom that his health currently allows. IMO - the longer he can enjoy this, the better.
Regardless... This is going to be a big move and a big adjustment. Eleven years ago - when we moved here - it was never my intention (nor had it ever crossed my mind) - that moving us would later require me to move my entire family here. It was hard enough for me to uproot our little family - and even harder for me now to separate my Dad and brother. Realisitically - I don't see any other options. We have lived here alone for 10+ years, with very little family contact - when before we moved, we were smack-dab in the midst of family and very involved in everything... It was a big adjustment for us to lose that - and one of my biggest regrets in moving. However - over the years, this has become home for us, and we do enjoy living here. For the girls - the prospect of having their Grandpa so close again (before we moved, he lived 4 blocks from us) is a HUGE deal to them. While my Dad has never been rich or been able to purchase them many gifts - until we moved - his gift of TIME and unconditional LOVE has meant more to them over the years than anything else - and for them, as adults (yes they are both 18+ now), to be able to give that back to him - they are very much looking forward to it.
Anyways... Dad is still in the nursing home in "rehab" status... I just went up last Thursday for his discharge meeting. He goes home on Tuesday - fully independent and recuperated. After having him on the vent and truly hanging on for life... I almost worried that this day wouldn't come for him, and I am so thankful it has. Despite being in isolation the entire time - his spirits are very high... I honestly think he is looking forward to the move as much as we are.
In other news... Ahhh - the disadvantage to falling behind here - my updates are dreadfully long. LOL
Victoria graduates in 2 weeks!
Can you believe that???? She is soooo excited! She is coming in to her last weeks of finals, and looking forward to her trip to Europe. While in Europe, she has trips to Rome, London and Paris on her itinerary. She is beyond excited for London - and I must say I am a bit jealous of that one.
She applied to a local art college last week - though she won't hear back if she was accepted until she submits her portfolio - which won't happen until she is back from Europe. I continue to encourage her to apply at her 2nd, 3rd, 4th (etc) choices, as her first choice is VERY competitive. It took her uncle 4 years of applying to finally get accepted... So, I want her to have a back-up plan.
Allison has been working like crazy... It pains me to update that she is no longer working at Caribou. This was a very difficult decision for her, but in the end, we encouraged her to give her notice... As it turns out - her boss became ~um trying to be tactful here~ abusive and made Allison's work place very ~um~ hostile. Allison was working hard to save $$ while at Caribou, so thankfully she has $$ in savings to keep her afloat with all of her bills and responsibilities for quite some time... It sucks - no doubt - but I am proud of her for making a tough decision and being responsible in the last months - so things like this don't cripple her financially. For the time being - she has taken on some PCA work to fill in while she is applying (like crazy) anywhere and everywhere for any full-time/dependable work. She is planning to go to college in the fall of 2018, and still intends to pay for it in cash... She is loving the PCA work, and while we were in the hospital with Grandpa, she spent some time really watching the nurses... She is seriously considering going for her RN degree. I know this has been at the back of her mind for years - and when she first mentioned it back in 10th/11th grade - I couldn't see her doing it... But now, I can see it. So, we'll see. I feel terrible that her year has been one of constant transition - most of which was out of her control - as she desires nothing more than stability. Not sure if I told you all that her and Gus are dating again?
It seems to be going well - though I am staying out of it.
As for Josh and I... We've been laying low and working hard to pay off debt. Yesterday was kind of a monumental day in our debt pay-off calendar... It was our "half-way" point, sort of. Yesterday, we paid off my car!
What an awesome feeling that was!!! Since January, we have paid off 7 out of 15 outstanding debts! For a grand total of $12,172! We still have a long way to go - since we are using the snowball method (paying off smallest to largest balance) - we are now into the higher balance debts, and it will take us longer to pay off each one. As it sits right now, I have our "debt free, besides the mortgage" date as June of 2018. I am hoping it will be sooner.
She is now ours, free and clear!
I've also been trying to clean and organize the house in small spurts in preparation for V's grad party next month... Even though I took the week prior off from both jobs - I have a lot of prep work to do that week, and I don't want to have to spend too much time cleaning. Last week - I took the time to clean my sewing room... That was a lot of fun... I discovered many items that I'd forgot that I had.
It sure is refreshing though, to go up there to work and have it nice and clean... Clean being a relative term - as my space it so small, it really is difficult to keep it from getting too cluttered.
And last week, in honor of Mother's Day (and to keep this post a little on Disney topics)... Victoria did the sweetest thing... She went online and found the recipe for our favorite pizza from Via Napoli... Since she works at a local pizza shop... She went to the local grocery store and purchased all of the ingredients, then she invited me to join her at work - where she made me a pizza for Mother's Day. The cost was very minimal - but the thought and the effort was so meaningful to me. Truly.
If I do say so myself, it was a darn good replica! Absolutely delicious!
And the card she made me also brought tears to my eyes... It's not often that I get master-pieces like this anymore. It filled my heart with joy!
I've also been working hard at my healthy living - as I do every day... Some days, I feel like a make great progress, and other days - not so much. I continue to try and work hard at it.
Finally - not much other news... If you made it to the end here - I commend you. To all of you who continue to check in and read, thank you... I miss all of you every day, and I am very much looking forward to the day that I can start another PTR... Believe me when I say - I am trying to find a way.
I wish you all the very best... Sending out lots of hugs, prayers and Pixie Dust.
D~