Need help! Friend trying to hijack our vacation.

[Duck143]

An 'adult' son in the room with 3 women sounds extremely uncomfortable. I would tell her that you and Mom are not comfortable with this and you are sorry, but if she wants her son, they will have to stay in their own room.
Maybe you can offer to try to add him to your ADR's if possible.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

She needs to disconnect from your reservation and set up her own room and dining plan for her and her son.

That’s my opinion. Might not be a popular one, but I would not be okay with her idea.

Oh my god. I'd say nope, not staying with four adults in the room, too crowded. See if they can get a room for two nights elsewhere, then she can rejoin you after he leaves.

I agree. I would tell her you and your mother are not comfortable sharing the room with him and, if he would like to come down, she needs to find a room for her son for those 2 nights.

Do you think that there will even be a reservation from the 28-30th available? I will have to check...
She will still have to pay for the dining plan, though, wouldn't she? Otherwise we would have to rebook into a split stay....

If there is availability, you could simply make a room-only reservation for those two nights. She can use the tickets and dining plan from the room she is staying in with you. Son can pay OOP for meals. I would have HER make these arrangements. I would absolutely not book a split stay and inconvenience yourself or your mother over this. I think her request is completely unreasonable. He sounds like he is an adult. If he would like to join your group for 3 days he or his mother should be making the arrangements!

 

[nickg420]

 

[Heather07438]

First, she should have at least offered to split the room 4 ways. But I don't think that change would even be worth the lost space and privacy.

$500/nite by 3ppl = $166 ($332 you & mom)
$500/nite by 4ppl = $125 ($250 you & mom)
So you two would save $160 over 2 nights, probably not worth the disruption.

If somehow there's a way to agree on him joining (not likely), I'd plan time for you & mom to go off on your own and only meet up with them occasionally, maybe for a meal or a certain ride. Otherwise your plans will end up getting trashed for darling boy's interests.

 

[starry_solo]

Tell her NO....

 

[_auroraborealis_]

It is fine to assert yourself and say no. You don't need a reason other than "my mother and I are not comfortable with that change."

 

[SharonZ]

I would say that you don't feel comfortable rooming with her adult son. In addition, he would have to pay the "extra adult" fee per night for a deluxe hotel.

 

[Scubadaddy32]

I'm an adult male and no way I'm staying with my mother and two of her friends by choice in the same room and sleeping in the same bed with my mother. LOL
There are just all kinds of wrong psych issues at play here.
The answer should just be a "NO" for a multitude of reasons that no one needs to justify. Ha

 

[Heather07438]

Sorry This would annoy me. What should be an exciting time turned into a ball of stress.

 

[jerseyduke]

1. An Adult pays their own way, by definition.
2. Tell her you and your mom are not comfortable with this.

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, I'm afraid its time for goodbye again.

 

[igrsod]

Yes, she already was staying with us-- but now is inviting her son, without offering to pay any more than her third of the cost.

Right there is a problem. If I was adding a 4th to the room... I would offer to pay half the room cost. That's only fair. Sounds like this friend is taking advantage.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

I would absolutely not be okay with sharing a room with a friend’s adult son.

She can find her own accommodations with him. If nothing onsite is available, she could choose to
stay with you and have him stay offsite somewhere. If he’s an adult, he should be able to figure it out.

He’ll pay OOP for food unless he can get his own onsite room. You add him to the dining reservations you can, tough luck for him if you can’t.

If you are uncomfortable with this (as I would be), be honest with the friend. I cannot believe she would suggest this room arrangement. People surprise me every day!

 

[Heather07438]

I'm an adult male and no way I'm staying with my mother and two of her friends by choice in the same room and sleeping in the same bed with my mother. LOL
There are just all kinds of wrong psych issues at play here.
The answer should just be a "NO" for a multitude of reasons that no one needs to justify. Ha

Unfortunately some people don't understand that, especially when it's not their experience being disrupted. They should realize everyone doesn't share the same 'more the merrier' attitude.
I'm trying to think of a diplomatic way to not sour the relationship while getting the point across. Hmmm... not easy.

ETA: How sure are we that he 'won' these tickets?

 

[kylenne]

Right there is a problem. If I was adding a 4th to the room... I would offer to pay half the room cost. That's only fair. Sounds like this friend is taking advantage.

This stuck out to me too. That’s a lot of nerve lol.

Sometimes you just have to set firm boundaries. Nothing mean or wrong with that. A true friend will understand. A “friend”, well...maybe it’s for the best they keep it moving lol

 

[stinkpickle]

What a coincidence! I won free tickets, and my mom is trying to get me to stay with her and her friends at Wilderness Lodge next month.

Oh, wait...

 

[Heather07438]

What a coincidence! I won free tickets, and my mom is trying to get me to stay with her and her friends at Wilderness Lodge next month.

Oh, wait...

Did you really win those tickets?

Or did Mom make up that story thinking it would feel less intrusive to the other party than saying 'hey, my grown son wants to join our ladies trip'?

 

[SwirlTheCitrus]

Unfortunately some people don't understand that, especially when it's not their experience being disrupted. They should realize everyone doesn't share the same 'more the merrier' attitude.
I'm trying to think of a diplomatic way to not sour the relationship while getting the point across. Hmmm... not easy.

ETA: How sure are we that he 'won' these tickets?

Pretty sure... It was his aunt who won them, and is giving them to him. *Hopefully* I've almost gotten her to drop the idea... Like you said, it is not an easy situation.

 

[Boopuff]

I'm an adult woman, my DD and I have been invited to her besties bachelorette in Las Vegas. My DD asked if her co-worker could share the room. Hard pass. I like my privacy, and 3 women in one bathroom (LOL) no way. But in this situation you add a dude! So the bathroom will be unuseable because everyone will have to go in to change, primp, shower... you'd never get to use it!!

 

[SG131]

Ok, so I'm with everyone else that I would be totally uncomfortable with this. From a logicistical standpoint, if you can keep this conversation going for a few more days, you will be within the 30 day cancellation period. Since you booked a package, if you cancel, even to shift the reservation, you would have to pay a $200 fee to cancel. In order to book the split stay you would have to cancel what you have because wilderness lodge will be fully booked already I'm sure. You would then have to quickly rebook the room in two chunks. However, there is a not unlikely chance that you will lose the room in the process. While you're grabbing one half someone who is checking regularly for a room could grab the other half. Or, a fun thing that Disney's reservation system has been doing lately is not wanting to book just a couple nights. If you search for 2 nights you may get no availability but if you search for 5 a room all of a sudden pops up. They do this to encourage longer stays. So there is a very real possibility if you release the room you may not be able to rebook it as a split stay.

How do you and your mom feel about splitting the cost in half? I would recommend to her that her and her son can go get their own room somewhere. It is absolutely unreasonable for him to stay with you and not pay his fair share. Not to mention the discomfort and the special accommodations she wants.

 

[heather913]

"No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe her an explanation, even thought it should be common sense to her why you wouldn't want to share a hotel room with her adult son. You already made plans with her and if she wants to change those plans, good for her, but leave the logistics of finding another room up to her.