My ex-wife wants to do what???

[Matt@WDWR]

Well, my ex-wife and I have been divorced for about 6 years. I have legal custody of the two children we had together but she sees them regularly. Our interactions are civil. Well I've been re-married for four years. my ex-wife and my wife get along. I mean, they aren't friends but they don't have street fights or anything.
Anyways, Bethany and I got married at Shades of Green Resort in 2006. She did a lot of research to find thel DJ, make-up and hair person, photographer, videographer, etc. A lot of the research she did here on the Dis too. Anyways, it probably took her a few months to do all the research, etc.

Okay now back today. My ex-wife calls my wife to announce that she's engaged to her boyfriend. He seems nice enough, so good for her. Then she says the following: "Your wedding pictures looked so great that I called Shades of Green and booked our wedding there too. Do you mind emailing me all the names of the vendors you used at your wedding? I'd like our wedding to look a lot like your wedding!"

lol is that crazy or what? Why would you want to do the same thing your ex-husband and his wife did for their wedding?

We haven't said anything to her. I mean we can't control where she gets married but it just seems a tad on the creepy side to us!

 

[Puget Peach]

I mean we can't control where she gets married but it just seems a tad on the creepy side to us!

Creepy is in the eye of the beholder.

First question, is your X inviting y'all to the wedding? If not, asking your wife to help is just plain tacky, not creepy.

Second question, does your wife WANT to help or mind sharing? If not, then why not? One more magical Disney wedding to celebrate!

Isn't it said that imitation is the highest form of compliment?

If y'all are in any way uncomfortable about this, you can always claim that the Disney wedding planner took care of it all and give your X the number to call.

 

[Matt@WDWR]

I think creepy is in the eye of most everybody who has heard the story. hahaha. To me I just think it is kinda tacky. I'm not mad per se. It just seems weird to me. My wife is a little mad though but she isn't going to say anything about it. I'm just more surprised the guy isn't like "Uh, no, I don't want to do that."

No, we aren't invited to the wedding as far as I know. My ex is just about the laziest person I know. I just think she liked our idea and decided it would be easier than actually coming up with something herself. I think my wife will just send her a link to the wedding board here and let her figure it out.

 

[mom2munchkins]

If I were your wife I think my head would have spun. That's crazy..But ya know it takes all kinds....

 

[MenashaCorp]

Yeah. Creeped here, too.

It's also kind of a "We/She did all this work ourselves, you should too" kind of a feeling that idea gives me. If you *do* give her the names, she should pay you as a wedding coordinator!

 

[sydneysmom]

here's my take on it, and it's only my opinion. I think it's very tacky that your ex is doing this. Your wedding was YOUR day and they were YOUR memories. If she wants to plan her "big day",then plan it, but don't now try to belittle your day by doing a cookie cutter wedding. She's just trying to get some attention. Don't play into that.

I'd tell her that the wedding planner did it, sorry. Or tell her flat out, look, it was very special to us and I really don't want to belittle it by recreating our day for you. You're allowed to say no.

keep your day for yourselves. Let her plan her own and figure out how to do that on her own. good luck !

 

[sayhello]

I agree. Creepy and mostly, VERY tacky. Let her figure out her own wedding. The one your wife planned was hers. I think the best idea is to say the wedding planner did it all, or say "Sorry, it was 4 years ago, I've forgotten it all." It's probably not worth fighting about. Just say "Nope".

Sayhello

 

[topolino]

I'm no psychoanalyst, but I think she is still in love with you.

 

[MelissaFromRI]

Well, my ex-wife and I have been divorced for about 6 years. I have legal custody of the two children we had together but she sees them regularly. Our interactions are civil. Well I've been re-married for four years. my ex-wife and my wife get along. I mean, they aren't friends but they don't have street fights or anything.
Anyways, Bethany and I got married at Shades of Green Resort in 2006. She did a lot of research to find thel DJ, make-up and hair person, photographer, videographer, etc. A lot of the research she did here on the Dis too. Anyways, it probably took her a few months to do all the research, etc.

Okay now back today. My ex-wife calls my wife to announce that she's engaged to her boyfriend. He seems nice enough, so good for her. Then she says the following: "Your wedding pictures looked so great that I called Shades of Green and booked our wedding there too. Do you mind emailing me all the names of the vendors you used at your wedding? I'd like our wedding to look a lot like your wedding!"

lol is that crazy or what? Why would you want to do the same thing your ex-husband and his wife did for their wedding?

We haven't said anything to her. I mean we can't control where she gets married but it just seems a tad on the creepy side to us!

Sounds like an episode of the Twilight Zone to me

 

[lugnut33]

Wait til she calls and asks if you and your new wife would like to lodge with them in the same room at Pop Century!!

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I'd definitely have a strange look on my face! Weird!

 

[rn4val]

How did she even see pic of your wedding? I can't imagine wanting my wedding to be like my ex's. I know my ex has not seen pic of my wedding. I too think it is pretty tacky.

 

[MinnieGarden]

Your ex-wife sounds exactly like my DH's ex-wife. Speaking from experience, here's what you do...... when she asks a second time, just tell her you sent it! When she says she didn't get it, tell her to check her spam filter. Good luck!

 

[sasquatch]

Imitation is the best form of flattery.

Yes, its creepy. It would be more creepy if you and her boyfriend have the same build.

 

[dmccarty]

... My ex is just about the laziest person I know. I just think she liked our idea and decided it would be easier than actually coming up with something herself...

I think "lazy" is the key.



Later,
Dna

 

[tjevans]

As a divorce lawyer, I am one of the first to attribute creepy traits to an ex, but I don't find this that creepy (maybe because of what I see day in and day out).

I think it was badly worded, but not creepy. Imagine she had asked "I loved the way the flowers looked in the photo. Do you mind me asking who was the florist?" In essence, she's looking for referrals to what she thought was good work. I think she could have asked better, but the things we say don't always come out the way we want them to.

 

[Figment_Fan]

Maybe it's a divorce attorney thing, but I agree with tjevans, not that creepy. In a way, complimentary. Is the ex a Disney fan? She just may want a nice wedding.

Weird is finalising the divorce and going to Disney the next month together with the kids and two separate rooms. It takes all kinds. But with what I see everyday, you have all done something very well and can at least talk and even more, communicate.

 

[C-Rad]

RUN! Run fast, run far...before you find Thumper simmering in a pot on your stove!

 

[amoggio816]

I'm going to school to be a wedding planner and have planned a few events and especially in our area...we all tend to use the same people and refer them to others.
If you don't know anything about vendors in that area, but you liked the work from someone elses that you saw, then you just want your day to be as beautiful. Right?
For example. My sister had the WORST dj ever. (not even kidding, everything was still on CD and their wedding song skipped) whereas my DJ is amazing. I saw him at a billiards club that I went to weekly. My photographer, found him at a friends wedding. My florist, from a hotel. If you SEE something beautiful, you want the same thing. When you're planning, you tend to deviate from what you saw to give it a more personal touch.
So her wedding will most likely not end up like yours...even if she uses the same vendors.

 

[Matt@WDWR]

All good points but I would say having it at Shades of Green was the first thing that kinda caught me off as peculiar. There are really only 2 locations at SoG to get married: at the gazebo or in the banquet hall. Again, there is no way I would mimic anything she has done. Lazy and tacky are the words that I use to describe it mostly. Let's be clear, while we are civil, we aren't pals. haha.

I don't know. I would think that most women would be put off by a friend wanting to copy their wedding. To me, I'm just glad she's moving on finally! Her last hurrah just has to be a bit on the peculiar side to me.