Moody teen says she'd rather stay home

[4our4kids]

Anyone else ever have thier teen feel this way?

My DD is 14 (that kind of explains it right there!). We are leaving Sat., this will be our 2nd trip since Feb. She says it will just be like doing the same things over again and she doesn't see the reason to go back. She also made a comment that the last trip seemed geared towards her sister (3yr old). I don't agree with her. I think she is just already mourning the week she will be without her friends. Afraid she'll miss something at home and be "out of the loop". I hope she lightens up a little or she may put a real damper on my mood. I'd never consider leaving her home and I don't think she would choose to stay home given the choice. I do believe it's just the moody teen years, but oh, how they try your patience! I just have to remember I've made it through the teens with DD 18, and DS 17. Only DD#2, 14 yrs, a break, then DD#3, 3 yr old.

Just needed to vent. I feel better already.

 

[catwho]

Have her go over to the teen board! There are lots of teens that are ga-ga over Disney and maybe she can catch the bug when she sees how many teens are really into Disney. Does she have a friend that could go with (with friends' parents paying for passes and chipping in for her food?) Also tell her that she is in control of the map and insuring that everyone (including baby sister) is having a good time. I used to be a moody teen too and detested the whole "going to Disney thing" until I got there. Of course I returned to moody teendom as soon as we started heading north again

 

[mbs]

I've got an almost 14yo DD (next month). We too are leaving Saturday for Disney. She is so excited about going, she's bouncing off the walls. This will be her 8th trip, but 1st time we are allowing her to go off with her brother, as long was her dad and I are in the same park.

She'll have fun once she is there. Have her pick out something to do and don't rely on keeping everything geared toward your youngest (my youngest is 4).

Don't fret, you'll have fun.

 

[antmaril]

You have my sympathies. Our DS is 16. I love to travel and I am always planning a trip. We returned last month from our trip to WDW and Universal. He was pretty good about it, but now I would like to plan a trip over the Christmas Holidays (not to WDW, however). He absolutely refuses. He says he's not going. Doesn't want to travel during Christmas (we would leave after Christmas Day). Do I force him and then deal with his moodiness during the trip or just forget the whole idea? I don't like the idea of him controlling me, but they sure can make you miserable, can't they? Of course, being an only child makes it a little harder. Leaving him home is not an option.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Scarlett & Rhett]

Sounds like she thinks she's too cool to be seen with mom and dad.

 

[EthansMom]

Is there any chance you would be willing to let your DD go off on her own for a bit at WDW? If the older teens are going also, maybe they could go off together some? That way, your daughter can go on the hairy rides and "hang out" while avoiding the "baby rides". Plus, it gives her a bit of independence. Just set up a meeting time for later and maybe give them a cell phone or two-way radio in case you need to get hold of them.

Of course, I'd only do this if the kids were fairly responsible. But, if they're good kids, I'd let them off on their own for a bit.

EthansMom

 

[dg39]

I firmly believe that teens aren't HUMAN BEINGS. I have 2 teens(twin girls, 18yrs.old) and I'm still waiting to see a tiny bit of humanity in them........

 

[Mortlives]

Originally posted by 4our4kids
She also made a comment that the last trip seemed geared towards her sister (3yr old). I don't agree with her.

Perhaps it seems different to you, but from her perspective that may be an accurate report. Have you asked her how she thought it was geared towards the 3 year old, and discussed strategies to change this perception? Maybe leave DD3 with a babysitter at some point for some quality time just the 2 of you? Or if your partner is also coming, maybe just split up and do the quality time thing. Try to be patient, I was a horrid teenager, but I made up for it as an adult (sez my mom).

Ciao,
Mort.

 

[helenm29]

I have a 16 year old boy who has 10 year old twin brother and sister....needless to say, they don't always enjoy the same things! he likes Disneyquest of course but he's a good sport and just sort of hangs with us. The good thing is that he can do the "fun" things with his dad and I can stay with the twins so at least he has a chance to have some fun! We also have 5 mile. walkie talkies and he can some times do his own thing (not too often though) we trust HIM, we just don't trust everyone else if you know what I mean! (GOOD LUCK!

 

[4our4kids]

As miserable as my daughter was last night, she is now happy about going. The same people she was lamenting about missing, she now says she thinks it would be good to get away from! Ah, the emotions of teens! I wonder if my mother had some sort of infuence on her today while I was at work???? Hmmmmm........

Thanks for the responses. I thought about her comment about the trip being geared toward her sister. Perhaps from her perspective it seemed that way. I've discussed with her the things she would like to do and now have a plan for her and her sister (18) to hang out at the pool, and do an e-ride night with thier brother (17) without "the parents". I wonder what type of mood with be here tomorrow??

 

[LIFERBABE]

What about doing the Spa Thing together? They seem to really enjoy doing "grown up" things at that age. I on the other hand want to be 5!

 

[4greatboys]

Are you taking all 4 kids or just the last two?? If you just taking the last 2 maybe you could let your dd bring a friend. If not the I would sch some things just for her (or the two of you). My kids are very spread out ages 16, 13, 3 and 1 so we try to do things everyone likes. Yes the others be they little or big have to wait their turn for their favorite things but its seems to work out. I did let my two oldest go off on their own to do some things they enjoy but I would have been uncomfortable sending just one off alone.
Or if she really, really doesnt want to go let her stay with a friend or relative while you are on your trip.
Good Luck!

 

[MiSs RiS]

I'm the same age as your daugher and can see how she might feel "out of the loop". Does she have a cell phone that she can bring with her? Maybe she can call her friends a couple of time during the trip? But i think if she goes over to the teen boards she might feel different about not wanting to go. Theres a group of girls going the same time you are , they have been talking and have planned to meet up. I'm not sure exactly what there plans are but i think there meeting at one of the parks and are going on some rides together. Also all the people on that board are totally obbssesed with disney like myself, and it might just rub off on her!

 

[thumperjr9]

I'm having the same problem with my DS-16. We wanted to plan a trip for Nov. and he says " I'm NOT GOING, its dumb". We took him several times when he was younger and he always had a good time. Last April my DS-4, my mom and I went. My DS-4 is begging me to go back. I guess I had this unrealistic idea that we could all go as a family and have fun. I said he could bring someone along, even his girlfriend (I'm getting desparate) but he still says he doesn't want to go. Even though I have assured him he won't have to "hang out" with us the whole time, I know he is thinking he wll have do do all the stuff his little brother wants to do. (it is nice to know I'm not the only one with such a age gap between kids.) Now my DH says he doesn't want go if DS-16 doesn't go. He isn't comfortable leaving him even though I 'm sure we can make arrangements for him to stay with grandma or something. Well, it looks like it will be just me and my 4 year old going again. Thanks for my turn to vent too!

 

[Abra Cat]

As the mother of a 6-going-on-14 year old, I say call her bluff. Tell her, "Okay, you can stay with Grandma (or whomever) and we'll go on vacation. Have fun!" Hopefully she'll realize she's not going to ruin the trip for everyone else and she'll decide to make the most of it and go. Be prepared for her to say okay to staying home though, and follow through with it if that's truly what she wants.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh; I just have no patience for moody teens (having once been one myself... ).

 

[Mortlives]

Originally posted by thumperjr9
Now my DH says he doesn't want go if DS-16 doesn't go. He isn't comfortable leaving him even though I 'm sure we can make arrangements for him to stay with grandma or something. Well, it looks like it will be just me and my 4 year old going again. Thanks for my turn to vent too!

Does DS know about DQ? Does DH know about PI? Have you considered finding out who is playing at HOB when you're there? A 16 year old might jump at the chance to see some of the acts that play there. Does DS want to try surfing? Drive his own boat? Maybe once he realized that there is *seriously* cool stuff to do at WDW, he might change his tune.

Good luck,
Mort.

 

[thumperjr9]

He does know about DQ, although he has never been there, I know he would like it. I didn't think about HOB. He is really into music. Is there a way to get a schedule of who is playing? Also, does anyone know rules on age restrictions for the clubs on PL? I know there are some you have be 21. But are there any a 16 year old could get into with a parent and would it be appropriate. ( like comedy warehouse?) I think he knows there are things he will like to do, especially if he brings a friend. But I think he is being negative just to be NEGATIVE. I will say this, my DH and I talked to him about it again today and stressed how it was important to us. My DH is not the biggest WDW fan (imagine that) but he enjoys going to see the kids have fun. I think after hearing my DH say he wants to go, my DS did somewhat change his tune. Things are looking a little more encouraging.

 

[Mortlives]

House of Blues events can be found at:
http://www.hob.com/tickets/searchresults.asp?venue=Orlando
Most of the events I've looked at have been all ages.

As for PI, there are only 2 clubs you can't take him to. Comedy Warehouse is fine, and Adventurer's Club is great, and there are various dance clubs he can go to. There's also live entertainment on the street.

Kungaloosh!
Mort.