Male Birth Control Pill - Could be coming soon

[jevs]

When you look at th3 way fathers are treated the man has higher stakes. Someone at work I knew his wife left him for an affair taking their son but if he ever dated she stopped him seeing his son, another father sent presents for his kids recorded delivery so she signed for them only for her to t3xt saying she threw them away and told the kids he didn’t send anything.

Hilarious. I’ll counter that with these stories.
Man A working cash in hand so he doesn’t have to pay CS
Man B moving interstate so he doesn’t have to deal with the responsibility of raising his children.
Man C starting his own business so he doesn’t have to pay CS as he *makes a loss *each year.
Man D going on Centrelink (welfare) so he pays the minimum CS (around $30 p/month regardless of how many children),

Point is there are horror stories from both sides but research indicates that women* are much worse off than men in a divorce = higher stakes.

*raising children


http://www.carrco.com.au/richer-divorce-poorer-financial-cost-divorce/

https://aifs.gov.au/media-releases/long-lasting-financial-impacts-divorce-women

Now, I’m not suggesting that men get out of divorce scot free - they don’t, Ive read research that suggests they are more affected by psychological impacts. However women are more likely to suffer financial hardship, and are at greater risk of homelessness than men due to child rearing responsibilities after a divorce because their capacity for employment is severely impacted.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

When you look at th3 way fathers are treated the man has higher stakes. Someone at work I knew his wife left him for an affair taking their son but if he ever dated she stopped him seeing his son, another father sent presents for his kids recorded delivery so she signed for them only for her to t3xt saying she threw them away and told the kids he didn’t send anything.

Exactly! I know a few men who didn't have a chance in court. I've never seen a situation where a woman didn't have a major advantage. I've seen women who shouldn't be trusted with a Chia pet, but got primary custody of the children, because she was the mother. Men don't have the same advantage. I know men who have been forced to have their ex along for every visit, if they wanted to see their kids at all. These aren't irresponsible men. They just happened to be the wrong sex, where child custody is concerned. Naturally, they had to pay child support whether the mother decided they would be allowed to see the kids or not. I'm a woman & I think it's disgraceful.

On a side note, I knew if DH & I ever divorced, I'd be able to collect child support & he would have to fight for every second he was allowed to spend with our son. That is so wrong.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Hilarious. I’ll counter that with these stories.
Man A working cash in hand so he doesn’t have to pay CS
Man B moving interstate so he doesn’t have to deal with the responsibility of raising his children.
Man C starting his own business so he doesn’t have to pay CS as he *makes a loss *each year.
Man D going on Centrelink (welfare) so he pays the minimum CS (around $30 p/month regardless of how many children),

Point is there are horror stories from both sides but research indicates that women* are much worse off than men in a divorce = higher stakes.

*raising children


http://www.carrco.com.au/richer-divorce-poorer-financial-cost-divorce/

https://aifs.gov.au/media-releases/long-lasting-financial-impacts-divorce-women

Now, I’m not suggesting that men get out of divorce scot free - they don’t, Ive read research that suggests they are more affected by psychological impacts. However women are more likely to suffer financial hardship, and are at greater risk of homelessness than men due to child rearing responsibilities after a divorce because their capacity for employment is severely impacted.

Things aren't that easy in the US, at least for people I know. A man working for cash to avoid paying child support would eventually be jailed & only released to go to work, until he's gets caught up on his child support & proves he can pay it in the future. Men moving from one state to the other are eventually caught, W2s are helpful, but they are also caught through contacts. They have to pay current & back child support, which is taken from their check, before they get it. Man C would be told to get a profitable job, within a certain amount of time or he would be jailed, until he could pay child support. I don't know anyone on welfare, but I'm pretty sure welfare pays for dependents here. Kids would be covered by the government. Men may think they've gotten away without paying, but the government will eventually chase them down & make them pay current & back support. I don't know any man who has gotten away scot-free since the Clinton administration. Whether or not they get the see the kids is irrelevant. They still have to pay.

As far as women being worse off by having to raise the children, that's subjective. I would have chosen raising DS by myself, rather than share my time with DH. I told DH the same, when we were younger. If he wanted to walk away, he could walk away & never look back, but I would fight him to the end, if he wanted to get partial custody of my kid. I'm not saying that's what works in every situation. People need to make the decision that works for them. It's just not the case that all Moms want the Dad to take equal responsibility of the child. I know a few women personality who walked away from child support to be able to keep their kids full time.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Things aren't that easy in the US, at least for people I know. A man working for cash to avoid paying child support would eventually be jailed & only released to go to work, until he's gets caught up on his child support & proves he can pay it in the future. Men moving from one state to the other are eventually caught, W2s are helpful, but they are also caught through contacts. They have to pay current & back child support, which is taken from their check, before they get it. Man C would be told to get a profitable job, within a certain amount of time or he would be jailed, until he could pay child support. I don't know anyone on welfare, but I'm pretty sure welfare pays for dependents here. Kids would be covered by the government. Men may think they've gotten away without paying, but the government will eventually chase them down & make them pay current & back support. I don't know any man who has gotten away scot-free since the Clinton administration. Whether or not they get the see the kids is irrelevant. They still have to pay.

Or just move abroad.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Or just move abroad.

That might work, but you'll have to get all your close relatives to move with you. They'll harass your close contacts, until they find you. If they hold strong, you could get away with it. Then again, you may have to move somewhere you don't want to in order to get out of paying child support. You'll also need to give up social media. Keep in mind you can't get a passport, if you owe back child support. Leaving or reentering the US could be a major problem, if the passport you have has expired or marked. The government doesn't give up easily. If the father doesn't pay, the government often ends up subsidizing. They don't like that.

So, if you want to have kids you don't want to support, don't mind living anywhere, have no close relatives or the chose relatives you do have will hold strong & not give you up, you know for sure the mother could never find you through contacts or social media & you never plan to return to the US, you should be good to go.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

That might work, but you'll have to get all your close relatives to move with you. They'll harass your close contacts, until they find you. If they hold strong, you could get away with it. Then again, you may have to move somewhere you don't want to in order to get out of paying child support. You'll also need to give up social media. Keep in mind you can't get a passport, if you owe back child support. Leaving or reentering the US could be a major problem, if the passport you have has expired or marked. The government doesn't give up easily. If the father doesn't pay, the government often ends up subsidizing. They don't like that.

So, if you want to have kids you don't want to support, don't mind living anywhere, have no close relatives or the chose relatives you do have will hold strong & not give you up, you know for sure the mother could never find you through contacts or social media & you never plan to return to the US, you should be good to go.

There are only a handful of countries that have child support agreements with the USA , mostly in Europe.

Lots of options in South America. I love Colombia and could easily live there. Uncle Sam won't collect a dime there.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

There are only a handful of countries that have child support agreements with the USA , mostly in Europe.

Lots of options in South America. I love Colombia and could easily live there. Uncle Sam won't collect a dime there.

Between your anti-condom posts & these posts, I'm getting the feeling you've spent some time researching this.

PS: We love Cartagena, Columbia. We haven't spent enough time there to know, if we would want to live there. It's definitely a great place to visit.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Between your anti-condom posts & these posts, I'm getting the feeling you've spent some time researching this.

PS: We love Cartagena, Columbia. We haven't spent enough time there to know, if we would want to live there. It's definitely a great place to visit.

Exactly where I was thinking. Bocagrande is fantastic!

 

[kimblebee]

My ex hasn’t paid a cent of child support in over two years and he’s $12K behind. I wish we had the US system where the guy is jailed until he catches up. He preposely doesn’t work because they will take his paycheque..same reason he does t file taxes, he doesn’t want me to get a penny of his money. It’s beyond frustrating.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

My ex hasn’t paid a cent of child support in over two years and he’s $12K behind. I wish we had the US system where the guy is jailed until he catches up. He preposely doesn’t work because they will take his paycheque..same reason he does t file taxes, he doesn’t want me to get a penny of his money. It’s beyond frustrating.

I actually don't even understand that system. If a guy legitimately has no savings, and is jailed to catch up on child support, how does he catch up if he's jailed? It's not as if jails are paying handsome salaries.

 

[jevs]

Things aren't that easy in the US, at least for people I know. A man working for cash to avoid paying child support would eventually be jailed & only released to go to work, until he's gets caught up on his child support & proves he can pay it in the future. Men moving from one state to the other are eventually caught, W2s are helpful, but they are also caught through contacts. They have to pay current & back child support, which is taken from their check, before they get it. Man C would be told to get a profitable job, within a certain amount of time or he would be jailed, until he could pay child support. I don't know anyone on welfare, but I'm pretty sure welfare pays for dependents here. Kids would be covered by the government. Men may think they've gotten away without paying, but the government will eventually chase them down & make them pay current & back support. I don't know any man who has gotten away scot-free since the Clinton administration. Whether or not they get the see the kids is irrelevant. They still have to pay.

As far as women being worse off by having to raise the children, that's subjective. I would have chosen raising DS by myself, rather than share my time with DH. I told DH the same, when we were younger. If he wanted to walk away, he could walk away & never look back, but I would fight him to the end, if he wanted to get partial custody of my kid. I'm not saying that's what works in every situation. People need to make the decision that works for them. It's just not the case that all Moms want the Dad to take equal responsibility of the child. I know a few women personality who walked away from child support to be able to keep their kids full time.

Interesting. Wish Australia would bring in similar laws for some of the scenarios. CS owing does have to be paid even if it’s $1 a week which is kind of useless. The only law I can think of is that people owing CS can’t leave the country until it’s paid. We have a huge problem here with people not paying either at all, or the bare minimum they can get away with. It’s almost like a game with some of them and it’s the kids who lose.

Just for interests sake, Australia is also very big on shared care. Unless there are legitimate reasons why one parent gets full custody the courts will rule for shared, usually 50/50 with people I know.

 

[MickeyPretzels]

I actually don't even understand that system. If a guy legitimately has no savings, and is jailed to catch up on child support, how does he catch up if he's jailed? It's not as if jails are paying handsome salaries.

My cousin went through this with her ex. He claimed he couldn't find a job, didn't have a cent to his name, etc, etc. My cousin asked her attorney... how will he pay if he goes to jail?! Her attorney told her, "I've been doing this for 20 years and have yet to see a man actually go to jail. They always find the money."

Guess what? When push came to shove and jail was imminent, he found the money. It's a miracle!

 

[Colleen27]

Women don't have to stay on hormonal BC, there are other options. If they are on it for 10 years maybe they should be discussing other options with their doctor.

But again, it is all on the woman. Invasive surgery. Hormonal BC with long-term risks. Non-hormonal IUDs with side effects like major cramping and erratic heavy bleeding. There are no pleasant options for women. But we're not supposed to roll our eyes when men cite acne as a side effect too severe to deal with from a BC method?

All he has to do is change jobs. It takes the court a while to catch up.

And if he crosses state lines, that can take even longer. I know a couple of guys who live in MI and work in OH or vice-versa because getting an interstate withholding order takes months instead of the weeks that an in-state order takes.

Things aren't that easy in the US, at least for people I know. A man working for cash to avoid paying child support would eventually be jailed & only released to go to work, until he's gets caught up on his child support & proves he can pay it in the future. Men moving from one state to the other are eventually caught, W2s are helpful, but they are also caught through contacts. They have to pay current & back child support, which is taken from their check, before they get it. Man C would be told to get a profitable job, within a certain amount of time or he would be jailed, until he could pay child support. I don't know anyone on welfare, but I'm pretty sure welfare pays for dependents here. Kids would be covered by the government. Men may think they've gotten away without paying, but the government will eventually chase them down & make them pay current & back support. I don't know any man who has gotten away scot-free since the Clinton administration. Whether or not they get the see the kids is irrelevant. They still have to pay.

My ex was, at one point (during the Obama administration), more than three years behind in support and was never jailed. Our local jails are releasing non-violent drug offenders to make room for thieves, drug dealers, and violent offenders; they don't have the resources to lock men up for pleading poverty/claiming they can't find work to avoid paying support, especially during a recession. And yes, the govt. might eventually catch up but that does the woman and child no good when they need the money. Unfortunately, a lot of successful collection depends on the resources the mother is able to put into being the "squeaky wheel" - if you don't have a lawyer, aren't actively hounding the authorities about your case, aren't doing the leg-work to provide contact and employment information for the non-paying parent, the wheels of bureaucracy turn very slowly. The government will eventually catch up, but it might not be until the deadbeat tries to collect social security (true story: that's when my mom finally started getting the support my father owed). And of course, those collections are often constrained by withholding caps that protect the financial well-being of the father without regard to the circumstances of the mother and child.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

But we're not supposed to roll our eyes when men cite acne as a side effect too severe to deal with from a BC method?

Well I wouldn't roll my eyes if a woman decided that was too severe. I know some who chose not to get on hormonal birth control because they didn't want the risk of gaining weight (even if usually that weight gain is fairly minimal). I wouldn't roll my eyes then either.

 

[kimblebee]

I actually don't even understand that system. If a guy legitimately has no savings, and is jailed to catch up on child support, how does he catch up if he's jailed? It's not as if jails are paying handsome salaries.

I agree to a point. My ex purposely doesn’t work so that I don’t get money. If Maintenance Enforcement (the program he ‘pays’ through) finds out he has a job, he quits so they can’t garnishee his wages. They’ve taken his licence, but he doesn’t drive. They’ve suspended his passport, but he doesn’t travel. They’ve taken control of his taxes, but he doesn’t file. Jail would hit him where it hurts.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Interesting. Wish Australia would bring in similar laws for some of the scenarios. CS owing does have to be paid even if it’s $1 a week which is kind of useless. The only law I can think of is that people owing CS can’t leave the country until it’s paid. We have a huge problem here with people not paying either at all, or the bare minimum they can get away with. It’s almost like a game with some of them and it’s the kids who lose.

Just for interests sake, Australia is also very big on shared care. Unless there are legitimate reasons why one parent gets full custody the courts will rule for shared, usually 50/50 with people I know.

The US wasn't always as strict as they are now. They started cracking down, after a law was passed in 1998 in an attempt to force deadbeat parents to pay. One of the reasons cited was to get single mothers off welfare.

In most situations I know of here, the Dad gets custody every other weekend, alternating holidays & a few weeks in the summer. That's not always the case though. I've seen men get totally screwed, but a woman is given every chance to share custody, even if it is at the detriment to the kids. IMO, that needs to be changed. A drug addict constantly in & out of jail shouldn't be given joint custody, just because she's the mother.

I actually don't even understand that system. If a guy legitimately has no savings, and is jailed to catch up on child support, how does he catch up if he's jailed? It's not as if jails are paying handsome salaries.

I personally know of two incidences where it got to the point that they were jailed. They both tried the "getting paid cash under the table" trick. One of them was released from jail to go to work, but had to go back to jail as soon as he got off. If he didn't report back to jail on his own, he would be immediately arrested. I don't know what would have happened at that point. He didn't test them. He was eventually released with a warning that he would be arrested again, if the mother reported a non-payment. The other guy only needed one night in jail to come to his senses. The next day he called in some favors & got a job that paid by check, so his wages could be garnished.

 

[adelaster]

There are only a handful of countries that have child support agreements with the USA , mostly in Europe.

Lots of options in South America. I love Colombia and could easily live there. Uncle Sam won't collect a dime there.

Did you start a thread on male birth control to ultimately instruct people on how to avoid paying child support? Uncle Sam? What about the children?

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Did you start a thread on male birth control to ultimately instruct people on how to avoid paying child support? Uncle Sam? What about the children?

I'm not the one who initially brought up child support. Nice try though.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

But again, it is all on the woman. Invasive surgery. Hormonal BC with long-term risks. Non-hormonal IUDs with side effects like major cramping and erratic heavy bleeding. There are no pleasant options for women. But we're not supposed to roll our eyes when men cite acne as a side effect too severe to deal with from a BC method?



And if he crosses state lines, that can take even longer. I know a couple of guys who live in MI and work in OH or vice-versa because getting an interstate withholding order takes months instead of the weeks that an in-state order takes.



My ex was, at one point (during the Obama administration), more than three years behind in support and was never jailed. Our local jails are releasing non-violent drug offenders to make room for thieves, drug dealers, and violent offenders; they don't have the resources to lock men up for pleading poverty/claiming they can't find work to avoid paying support, especially during a recession. And yes, the govt. might eventually catch up but that does the woman and child no good when they need the money. Unfortunately, a lot of successful collection depends on the resources the mother is able to put into being the "squeaky wheel" - if you don't have a lawyer, aren't actively hounding the authorities about your case, aren't doing the leg-work to provide contact and employment information for the non-paying parent, the wheels of bureaucracy turn very slowly. The government will eventually catch up, but it might not be until the deadbeat tries to collect social security (true story: that's when my mom finally started getting the support my father owed). And of course, those collections are often constrained by withholding caps that protect the financial well-being of the father without regard to the circumstances of the mother and child.

I agree the squeaky wheel is the first to get the grease, but that's the case in most situations. It's too bad everyone doesn't automatically do the right thing, so the government doesn't have to hunt them down. That can take a long time & puts severe, financial hardship on the parent with custody. At least, you can get results now, if you keep on them. That wasn't always the case prior to 1998.

As I mentioned above, I know two men who were jailed. One man was jailed in North Carolina. The other was jailed in Florida. It happens. The only incident I know of where the man got away without paying long term was when the mom decided to take the boy back to dad for him to keep full time. She kept the girl. She no longer pursue child support for her.

I'm not saying there aren't still some parents who get away with being deadbeat parents for years. I'm sure there are. I just don't happen to know anyone who has gotten away with it long term. However, I do know a lot of men who didn't get away with it. All of my personal knowledge comes from people living in NC & FL. Perhaps, some states are better about enforcing it than others. I have no idea. I do agree that you will most likely have to push them to receive quick results in any state.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I'm not saying there aren't still some parents who get away with being deadbeat parents for years. I'm sure there are. I just don't happen to know anyone who has gotten away with it long term. However, I do know a lot of men who didn't get away with it. All of my personal knowledge comes from people living in NC & FL. Perhaps, some states are better about enforcing it than others. I have no idea. I do agree that you will most likely have to push them to receive quick results in any state.

I think the ones who get away with it for a long time probably have an ex that doesn't have the inclination, the time, the patience, or the money to continually pursue them.