just curious dont want this to get out of control bathroom use

[Dznypal]

I was just reading about a walk out at a high school over gender bathrooms and transgender students--
the females are afraid of using the bathrooms at school since transgender they/them (sorry but Im not sure of the correct word here)
walking in

I had an incident happen serveral years ago
we went to a restrauant that our DD was a manager
there were 3 guys in there dressed as women
I needed to use the bathroom but they walked into the ladies room ahead of me
I thought Id wait till they came out
our daughter actually got an attidude over the fact that I wouldnt go in there while there were 3 guys
was I in the wrong here

just wondering what others thought of the walk out which I think was in PA
and what happened to me

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Very complicated but you might be opening a can of worms with this thread.

 

[brockash]

I was just reading about a walk out at a high school over gender bathrooms and transgender students--
the females are afraid of using the bathrooms at school since transgender they/them (sorry but Im not sure of the correct word here)
walking in

I had an incident happen serveral years ago
we went to a restrauant that our DD was a manager
there were 3 guys in there dressed as women
I needed to use the bathroom but they walked into the ladies room ahead of me
I thought Id wait till they came out
our daughter actually got an attidude over the fact that I wouldnt go in there while there were 3 guys
was I in the wrong here

just wondering what others thought of the walk out which I think was in PA
and what happened to me

We're in NY and transgender students can use any bathroom. We also have a tech school we're connected with and. they have had gender neutral bathrooms for years. I will also say the doors to our bathrooms are always open. I don't see it as a big deal...there are stalls and many countries have always had gender neutral bathrooms. I have no problem with it. - Now if someone (male, female whatever) behaved inappropriately in a bathroom then that's a separate issue with that person, but I don't believe having a gender neutral restroom somehow would cause that.

 

[Dznypal]

I sort of figured that just curious

 

[MillauFr]

They are starting to get rid of the gendered bathrooms in the Pacific Northwest. They just have individual bathrooms that anyone can use with locking doors and the sinks are out in the hallway. Much better for everyone.

 

[Lumpy1106]

This too shall pass.

You know what would really accelerate that though? If the parents started really embracing it. Oh you want to use they/them pronouns? SO DO I DW/DS! What a crazy coincidence!

 

[luv2cheer92]

Don't see the problem with it.

 

[Lumpy1106]

They are starting to get rid of the gendered bathrooms in the Pacific Northwest. They just have individual bathrooms that anyone can use with locking doors and the sinks are out in the hallway. Much better for everyone.

This does sound long overdue - but how do the schools afford the remodels?

 

[Southernmiss]

Does anyone have gender defined restrooms in their home?

If everyone has a stall with locking doors and behaves themselves, what does it matter who shares the restroom with you?

I've sneaked into family restrooms when it was available.

 

[Micca]

They are starting to get rid of the gendered bathrooms in the Pacific Northwest.

Our metro area just got a new airport this year, there are the usual men's/women's restrooms and non-gendered restrooms. I've been in both, it's really a non-issue, as long as you don't mind washing your hands next to a...gasp...member of the opposite gender

When I think about it, I wonder how we even got to the idea of separate restrooms--another era I suppose. FWIW--the stalls in the non-gendered restrooms have the European style stalls, there's almost no space at the bottom of partitions.

We like to say for anyone who finds the airport restrooms problematic, wait till you get on the plane!

 

[LuvOrlando]

You were not wrong, noone should make you feel their feelings are more important than yours.

What was it the US agreed to in the Geneva Convention and other International Law? Do all our laws no longer apply if they mention men or women or female or male?

Seems this topic needs to go to the Supreme Court ASAP because words are used in the law in a certain spirit and certain international agreements pertain to protections of women in particular, for example in the Geneva convention
https://www.ohchr.org/en/instrument...a-convention-relative-treatment-prisoners-war:

"Article 25​

...
In any camps in which women prisoners of war, as well as men, are accommodated, separate dormitories shall be provided for them."

"Article 29​

Prisoners of war shall have for their use, day and night, conveniences which conform to the rules of hygiene and are maintained in a constant state of cleanliness. In any camps in which women prisoners of war are accommodated, separate conveniences shall be provided for them."


Who is it this describes and have some states and colleges breached basic human rights as they were written? Sure seems like an important topic to decide. Would appear the Supreme Court is made for this, so it should get there ASAP. Can't just let this play out with feelsies, it is very serious with monumental consequences.

 

[fly girl]

Does anyone have gender defined restrooms in their home?

If everyone has a stall with locking doors and behaves themselves, what does it matter who shares the restroom with you?

I've sneaked into family restrooms when it was available.

Ok, gender defined in home feels like reach. You are at your most comfortable in your home. Strangers are not walking in and out while you are handling your business.

Locking doors aren't always locking in restrooms, esp in the US. I have been in various high, mid, low end establishments and locks were broken. It is a part of life in ladies bathrooms across the US and abroad.

Personally, I have had transgender individuals in a designated bathrooms before. No, it didn't bother me. We all carried about our business and nothing was out of the ordinary. But who am I to tell someone they are wrong if they don't feel comfortable? I can't. You cannot change how someone feels, especially when it comes to personal safety.

Case in point. I have traveled all over the world and have walked by myself as a petite woman and know when I feel safe, and when I don't feel safe. It is your sixth sense. In all my travels I am still shocked to say the #1 city I felt unsafe in broad daylight at 11am around families and a large myriad of people was New Orleans. I walked to get my beignet and coffee and walked right back to the hotel as I felt something was off. Was it irrational? It very well could have been. But that is how I felt at the moment.

That is why I don't think it is fair to tell someone that if they feel that sixth sense it is wrong. Like OP with the three in her story. She didn't feel comfortable, I can't tell her she is wrong to feel that way. It isn't fair. And she wasn't unfair to the situation, she didn't create a whole scene over them using the ladies room. She just quietly waited until they were out.

And sadly, yes, I have heard of issues where people aren't behaving appropriately in the restrooms. Undoubtedly it is not the norm, but it does happen. That could be where the fear is instilled. Who knows.

The only solution would be to have a single or family bathroom for those whom don't feel comfortable. And I doubt it is available in the school, so it is a tough situation. One that isn't easy to solve for both parties to be happy. Maybe one designated ladies room is only for biological ladies. IDK.

And I am sure I will get pushback for this opinion. That's fine. I am cordially agreeing to disagree.

 

[Dznypal]

Interesting thoughts on this. What I would like to explain further is if the bathrooms were basically like the family bathrooms that wouldn’t be an issue. Just put up rows of family bathrooms sinks inside each little room or not in the middle woukd not be an issue

Where the issues I see is keeping the bathrooms the way they are now but basically anyone can use either bathroom if that makes any sense

It makes me feel uncomfortable if I’m in the bathroom with my pants around my knees taking care of things and the person next to me looks like a girl but is physically a male

Like what happened at the restaurant

 

[bcla]

This does sound long overdue - but how do the schools afford the remodels?

I mentioned it a few years ago after a museum visit. But in that case they weren't really remodeled and they kept the urinals with normal partitions. It was basically a "so what" deal.

I did visit a newer one that might have been opened last year and they had low to the floor stalls and no urinals.

 

[Dznypal]

Great reply fly girl. Thanks

 

[Robbie Cottam]

I was just reading about a walk out at a high school over gender bathrooms and transgender students--
the females are afraid of using the bathrooms at school since transgender they/them (sorry but Im not sure of the correct word here)
walking in

I had an incident happen serveral years ago
we went to a restrauant that our DD was a manager
there were 3 guys in there dressed as women
I needed to use the bathroom but they walked into the ladies room ahead of me
I thought Id wait till they came out
our daughter actually got an attidude over the fact that I wouldnt go in there while there were 3 guys
was I in the wrong here

just wondering what others thought of the walk out which I think was in PA
and what happened to me

If you weren’t comfortable, then you did what was right for you.

It’s their choice to identify as female, it is your choice to keep yourself within your comfort zone

 

[prairie_girl]

Interesting thoughts on this. What I would like to explain further is if the bathrooms were basically like the family bathrooms that wouldn’t be an issue. Just put up rows of family bathrooms sinks inside each little room or not in the middle woukd not be an issue

Where the issues I see is keeping the bathrooms the way they are now but basically anyone can use either bathroom if that makes any sense

It makes me feel uncomfortable if I’m in the bathroom with my pants around my knees taking care of things and the person next to me looks like a girl but is physically a male

Like what happened at the restaurant

If you’re in your stall, and they’re in theirs, how would you even know?

 

[disney4us2002]

I would truly prefer all bathrooms to be singles and then there would be no issues.

Whatever someone in the stall next to me is doing is of little concern to me unless he/she/they are watching or filming under the stall.

I have a different take on gender-neutral locker rooms however. That would be a no from me.

 

[tvguy]

- but how do the schools afford the remodels?

Schools are swimming in money here for several reasons.
1) Enrollment had dropped. 5% down since 2019.
2) Property tax funding has remained the same despite having fewer students to educate.
3) Voters have approved multiple school bond measures for new construction.
4) Schools have been closed and the land sold off due to the declining enrollment

The district I live in, most of the schools were built in the 1950s. They are over half way through a project to replace every school building. So to your point, almost every bathroom will be new, from the ground up, and in the next few years they all will be.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

In all my travels I am still shocked to say the #1 city I felt unsafe in broad daylight at 11am around families and a large myriad of people was New Orleans.

I have to agree with you on this. New Orleans is a very rough town and is also the only time I have been traveling where I felt a little trepidation for the safety situation.

A few years ago when I was at De Gaulle Airport in Paris, I walked into a bathroom and it was mixed gender. And you know what? It was just a bunch of humans doing what all humans need to do every so often. No issues. No awkwardness. I did what I had to do, washed my hands and walked out.