I suffer from anxiety and manage well with medication, and many times deep breathing and mindfulness skills help. Still nothing is perfect and I have had challenges in the past when on vacation being overwhelmed and letting anxiety take me out of my days at WDW and feel like I’m not even there. I’ve felt times where a week goes by and feel so disappointed that I’ve hardly enjoyed my trip. In a couple weeks I’ll be in WDW for my 40th birthday trip. I’ve been looking forward to this for so long, I’ve always wanted to spend my birthday in WDW but I’m so worried my anxiety will ruin the trip for me. I could use any suggestions or encouragement to help me make sure I don’t let anxiety get the best of me.
First of all, happy almost birthday! That’s so cool that will you celebrate at WDW! I know it makes the trip feel extra-special, which can then actually feel like there’s more pressure to have the “perfect trip”.
But, there’s a secret that no one around here *ever* talks about. But I’m going to talk about it openly here, because I think it’s important.
There is no such thing as a ”perfect” Disney trip.
(hopefully, they don’t take away my Disney fan status for that… LOL)
What I mean is this: We *all* tend to have this fantasy that we will arrive at WDW, and somehow every thing will be perfect, every day of our stay, and every interaction will be magical with every human we see. When it’s time to take the perfect picture, no other Guests will block the shot. The food will look *better* than the menu pictures, the rides will be better and longer - and with no lines! The sky will be bluer… The air will be brighter! Oh. Wait. That’s not reality.
That’s a Disney TV commercial.
We tend to forget between trips that last time we had that horrible churro that was just all kinds of wrong, and that the Country Bears broke down halfway through, leaving you with a horrible ear worm for hours. We don’t remember that Starbucks ran out of nitro cold brew, *and* there were no cupcakes, either. And we forgot about all the Guests who were horrible, the buses that were late, and the CMs who were less than magical. Our memories betray us when we are planning for our next trip.
So, your very first strategy is to stop stressing out about the “perfect” trip - because it can’t ever happen. Yes, it might look like that family over there is having a “perfect” Disney moment, but you don’t know their reality - and it’s *your* reality we are focusing on.
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First of all, let’s put technology to use:
Everyone in our family has an app that we keep on our phones, called "Emergency Chat". (Available for both iOS and Android) The logo for it looks like this:
It's an app that will let you text with someone when you are too overwhelmed to speak.
You can customize the opening screen (shown below) to help give the person you are communicating with more information.
You "text" with the other person, by handing the phone back and forth so you don't have to try and talk when you are not comfortable with speech in the moment. It's just a tool to have ready (like knowing that you can use First Aid at the Parks) in case you need it.
Download it (it’s free and no ads) and put it on the first screen on your phone, where you can find it easily. Practice using it before the trip, so you feel comfortable with it.
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Our anxiety is often made worse by things like hunger, pain, or discomfort. So self-care is *super* important! Make sure you stay hydrated, cool and comfy, and then you don't have those issues to deal with on top of anything else. (it's amazing how many people go to WDW and wear uncomfortable/hot clothing and terrible shoes). Remember that the *average* Guest will walk about 3 to 10 miles *per day* at WDW, so good shoes are not optional!
There is a First Aid station in every park - if you get too stressed, you can always go there, and ask for some help. They have cots to rest on, and are staffed by medical professionals. One of my family members in particular finds that taking a couple of Tylenol, and resting quietly for 30 minutes is often a great "reset and refresh" for them. Tylenol (for reasons I don’t understand, but am deeply grateful for) literally ”turns down” their central nervous system to a level that is manageable for them. Don’t leave home without it!
Take along a clean, cotton bandana, (pack one for every day of your trip) and keep it folded in your pocket. You can dip it in cold water, and put it on the back of your neck if you need to cool down quickly, or fold it and put it over your eyes if you need a visual break. If noise triggers anxiety, consider bringing along some soft earplugs to help, or even noise-cancelling headphones.
Some people find that a lightweight hoodie (with the hood up) helps give them a sense of security. Other folks like big oversized sunglasses for that purpose; those kinds of things can give you a place to retreat to without needing to move at all.
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We have a couple of family members who have anxiety that may present in a similar fashion to yours; our (now adult) daughter is one of them.
When we are in WDW, we make sure that we can create "safe spaces" for her if need be. If she gets overwhelmed, or if she begins to feel too anxious, we can make a family "bubble" around her. If the bubble is not enough, then we know that we can go to First Aid for a little while until she is ready to continue on. And if she has to go back to the Resort room? Well, it's still OK, because we are still at Disney World! We can still have Mickey Waffles in the morning and we are still all together as a family! If the worst thing that happens on our trip is that we don't get to see the fireworks, it's OK. Believe me, I will trade you a trip to WDW without fireworks any day over sitting at home!
Our family always works to remember that if that (insert your worst fear about your WDW trip here) is the *worst* thing to happen on our trip, will we still want to go? Will we still have fun? Will we still make wonderful memories? As long as the answer is always "yes", then we go, armed with every strategy that has ever worked for us.
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Some of her coping strategies have evolved over time; here's a few of the ones that seem to work best for her:
Make sure that everyone in your traveling party knows you may have an anxiety or panic attack Most of the people you travel with probably already know, but If you haven’t traveled with someone before, tell them in advance - don‘t wait until you are in trouble.
Remind your travel party that *if* you do have an issue, you will be stopping wherever you are, and whatever you are doing to try and manage that, and bring it under control. Don’t worry about anything else; focus your energy on what you can do in that moment. Lots of folks get deeper into trouble because they “dont want to be a bother” or they tried to hide their anxiety for too long, and it got away from them. I give you permission to be “selfish” in this moment. It’s important.
When you start to feel anxious, try to stop wherever you are, and do a self-assessment to see if you can identify what's going on before it escalates. (Obviously, this means possibly stepping out of line, or getting out of the flow of people, or leaving the table during a meal). Knowing *what exactly* is triggering can make a difference because you can respond more appropriately and effectively.
If you can identify what is causing the feelings, and manage it, then do so, and continue on as soon as you can. (example: This QS dining area is crowded and noisy. I can take my food, and find a quieter spot, even if I have to sit on the ground a small distance away)
If you can identify what is causing those feelings, and you have no control over it - Then stay put until you can safely determine next steps. (example: There's too many people on Main Street because fireworks are about to start. I can't make them go away, but I can find a less crowded spot, like down by the train station to watch the fireworks, or I can leave the Park)
If you can't identify what is causing the anxiety, (it's generalized, or there are too many possible causes) but you *can* determine next steps, then move on to that next step. (example: I'm really stressed, and I don't know if it's the heat, the people, possible dehydration, or JTMD (Just Too Much Disney) for today, but I *can* leave the Park for a bit, and see if I feel better.)
if you can't identify what is causing the issue, *and* you can't determine next steps because it's too overwhelming, then send a 911 to one member of your family or travel party (whoever you feel most comfortable with in that moment). Typically, 911 means you and 1 other person go back to the Disney Resort Hotel directly, do not pass Go, so that you can have some time to recover. The 911 persons' job is simply to help you back to your "base" and make sure you have whatever you needs, like cold water, or a dark room to lie down. On occasion, just getting out of the Park for a bit may be all you need, and you can go back and rejoin the group (like after walking out to the buses and back, for example), but other times, you may need time at your base to fully recover.
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I know that these strategies might not work for you, and that's OK. It's just how our family members with anxiety disorder cope. The thing to try and remember is that although no trip will ever be "perfect" (because it *can't* be, there are other humans involved!) you have amazing tools and resources available to you to try and resolve as many issues as possible before you even leave for Florida! One of those is right here, in this forum. We can't fix everything for you, but we can sure give you ideas to try, and support.
I'm sure that a lot of people have told you "Don't worry! It will be fine!" and for them... it is, but for you, it never can be, because you feel as though you don't have that option. I will never tell you that it will be "fine" - but I will encourage you to find ways to manage your anxiety, so that you don't have to fear the panic attacks and subsequent disassociation. For some people, that comes from certain concrete actions, and for others, it may be that therapy and/or medications are required. Regardless of how you arrive at a point where you feel more confident, please know that you are not alone in the world.
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At our house, "normal" is a setting on the washing machine. Nothing more.
It's taken a long time for some of our family to get there, but we have learned to embrace our differences, and find our "Superpowers". I was talking recently with our daughter about this very thing; what she perceives as anxiety is what I think of as being
Super Sensitive Girl, Defender of Emotions! She feels things stronger and more acutely than other folks. Her cape is made of the softest microfiber fleece, and it's warm and cuddly like a hug.
Pfffftttt... "normal" is boring.
I hope you have the best trip possible, and you come back and let us know what worked for you.
