How do you let go?

[SpartanKen]

I would assume most parents would feel the same about their kids. Your kids are young. Im still not sure what you mean by letting go. Letting them go to kids clubs? If you going to ask a question you have to explain youself. We're not mind readers.

Others seem to understand it just fine. Thanks for the reply.

 

[bethy]

My 3 kids are a little older. I've chosen to sometimes "let go" because for me, I have decided that the risks of keeping them in my sight at all times and the potential consequences of that choice are intolerable. So for me it's worth it to let go when I can - to take calculated risks.

 

[TrySomethingNew]

I didn't think I would have to explain this further... but here we go... OK, WHEN WE TRAVEL OR GO SOMEWHERE THAT IS BEYOND THE NORM... like going to Disney World or to a county fair or to a beach... stuff where there is an easy chance for something happening to my child without my knowledge. Where there are people I don't know, have never met before or places I have never been before... like a cruise, in the ocean, miles from shore, with strangers . . .

Sort of related but not needed for the cruise (useful in places like WDW) but might give you a little peace of mind in other situations: use ID temporary tattoos for the younger kids. You can customize them online to have your name/number, you can also opt for a QR code where more info can be accessed. We've used them at WDW and other extremely busy places. Child knows where the tat is (we put it on arm where it was covered by a shirt sleeve), we showed them who to talk to if they are lost (super easy at WDW given their uniforms and obvious name tags ), and what to do. But this way the child does not need to remember a phone number, name etc (my kids are the ones who would be crying and not talking when upset). Anyway, last Dec I went to DL with 9 yo only and we got separated for like 3 min (felt like 30 min) and it happened soooo fast! She took one or two steps slightly on an angle (was distracted by something fun) and a sea of people was suddenly between us. Anyway, she didn't move from her spot (good girl for following my directions!) and I was able to find her.

 

[belac]

Ok here goes, if you don't usually let the kids out of your sight in other than regular daily life, then they may also not be too comfortable without a parent near by as well, in a strange place. I ditto PPs about the first day open house with them, and meet the Counselors. It will make them feel less anxious and will definitely make you feel less anxious. Remember they pick up on parents emotions easily.
Then try it, for short periods at first 20-30 mins. Alone and go to open house the next day and Do 45mins. - hour alone. Again on next day try to hit the open house. Then try over an hour and so on separate times throughout the day. Find activities they would be interested in and be sure to make those time the choices for time at club. Makes it easier if they like say cooking, or craft time etc.. Also try to enjoy family games, shows ect.. Gives them reassurance that they aren't stuck in club and gives you some great family time.
You don't want them to hate it so try as best you cam to control the nerves, remember they will feel it too.
Then keep in Ming they have a band, they can't self checkout and you must give a password to check them out as well. You choose the password when you register them online or when you get to port, also if you forget to do that the first time they check in.

I understand your concerns, the time DS went to WDW at 3 yo and no need for stroller, I kind of freaked a bit. I heard that CM aren't allowed to look at underside of clothing. I thought how easy just iron on labels (like the camp ones). Then I heard from a CM they aren't allowed to even look at the inside collar. I went to our local Petco and made, you guessed it, a dog tag, round one-not the bone, and hooked it yo his shoes. We heard clink clink and knew he was right there and if he did get lost or wander the CM would have our info on it, and no need to look at clothing.

Ok bad parent putting dog tag on child but for the peace of mind and safety, well worth it and if I had to I would do it again. This was before Magic Bands (yes there was a time before Magic bands)

Your dog tag is the band and the password.
cruise ships are floating small towns packed with strangers so yes take precautions, but be realistic about it.
Also the clubs will give them a sense of growing up and being a bit independent. Good luck and try as hard as it is try to relax about it. Have a great cruise.

 

[Ofinn]

Others seem to understand it just fine. Thanks for the reply.

Sorry I cant interpret what you mean by letting go of a 5 an 8 year old. If you specified letting them go to the kids club then I would know what the heck your talking about. If you send your kids to school everyday whats the big deal about putting them in a secured kids area. What exactly are your concerns. Im not trying to be snarky, but your initial post was not very specific. I guess other parents who think like you got it. My kids are homeshooled,but I have no trouble letting them out of my sight on a cruise.

 

[bumbershoot]

I've heard the CMs in there are super great and the she wont be able to be checked out without myself or her dad checking her out.

She will need one of you to check her out. And you'll set up a password. They don't let kids out willy nilly. Unless the parents have given permission for the child to self-sign-out. Which you won't.

I didn't think I would have to explain this further... ...Where there are people I don't know, have never met before or places I have never been before... like a cruise, in the ocean, miles from shore, with strangers . . .

You didn't? Hmm. Saying you never let them out of your sight in the first post, then saying that you actually mean *while at the fair or on vacation* are two very different things. Explaining such a statement makes a lot of sense, actually.

Others seem to understand it just fine. Thanks for the reply.

FWIW, I sort of made up what I thought you might be asking. But "how do I let go" makes no sense, and I don't know if your kids will enjoy the cruise or not, OR if you're planning on letting them hit the kids' club or not. I tried to answer based on what I figured you might be asking about, but I didn't actually get it.

Sort of related but not needed for the cruise (useful in places like WDW) but might give you a little peace of mind in other situations: use ID temporary tattoos for the younger kids. You can customize them online to have your name/number, you can also opt for a QR code where more info can be accessed. We've used them at WDW and other extremely busy places. Child knows where the tat is (we put it on arm where it was covered by a shirt sleeve), we showed them who to talk to if they are lost (super easy at WDW given their uniforms and obvious name tags ), and what to do. But this way the child does not need to remember a phone number, name etc (my kids are the ones who would be crying and not talking when upset). Anyway, last Dec I went to DL with 9 yo only and we got separated for like 3 min (felt like 30 min) and it happened soooo fast! She took one or two steps slightly on an angle (was distracted by something fun) and a sea of people was suddenly between us. Anyway, she didn't move from her spot (good girl for following my directions!) and I was able to find her.

So very unnecessary at Disney parks..

Teach the kids to stay in the area and find a CM with a nametag *behind a register*. Alternatively, as Gavin deBecker suggests (based on statistics of who the problematic people are, along with the idea that a child won't choose an adult who is creepy, but a creepy person might choose a child), teach the child to find a woman with children. If the child chooses the person, it's very unlikely it's a creep. And statistically women are "safer" than men are. It is what it is.

Disney has very good "lost parent" protocols, and while sometimes they are broken because the CM that finds the kid happens to have the magicband reader that gives ALL info AND the CM has a cellphone, but usually that combo is NOT going to happen. So it's really best for the child to know what to do, and then for YOU to know what to do.

Have one adult stay where you were. Have another adult go back. Have a picture of the child from that day (take a pic each morning) to show the CM. Please oh please stay calm. Let the CMs do their jobs. And don't expect a phone call, because finding a CM with a cell and permission to use it isn't that likely to happen.

 

[SpartanKen]

I'm sorry I posted.

 

[Lacoccinelle]

My kids had a harder time than I did. They were almost 7 and 5. The safety drill really messed the older one up. She realized something could happen and did not want me out of her sight.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

We are not blessed with children but I think it's really nice that you care about your daughters happiness and safety so much.

 

[DisneyClown]

I'm sorry I posted.

Please don't be sorry you posted. I am the same as you. This will be our first cruise and I plan on doing as others suggested and introducing them to kids clubs at the open house, and then dropping them off later there for a "trial run". I plan to have the Wave phone with me at all times, and on the suggestion of pp, I plan on checking my room phone periodically as well. My thoughts are they will be just fine, but you won't know until you try. I have read many great and wonderful things about the kids clubs, and the security and cast members there, and it really does make me feel better. Just give it a try, because you will have fun either way I'm sure!

My kids had a harder time than I did. They were almost 7 and 5. The safety drill really messed the older one up. She realized something could happen and did not want me out of her sight.

I didn't really think about the drill, but I'm thankful you mentioned it, so I can think about how I can handle it with my own kids, if it becomes an issue.

 

[belac]

I'm sorry I posted.

Don't be sorry, you had a question. As in life you find different people have different opinions. It is a bit harder on boards because you don't hear the tone of the other person or inflections. Something that may seem snarky, really isn't. Something that may be sarcastic/funny really is snarky.

I got what you were saying because my DH is a bit of the same way when it comes to DS, ergo the dog tag incident. I mentioned that on another thread and boy was I in the hot seat. Don't take it personally, just move on and "let it go" (sorry couldn't resist there)

You know you kids best, you know what you feel comfortable with, so take it a step at a time with the suggestions above. The worst thing to do is stress about it. It is a vacation so enjoy it, and I have a feeling you will enjoy it

 

[FigmentSpark]

I'm sorry I posted.

I understood you. Some people didn't. Some people are literalists. You were speaking in an informal (obviously non-literal) way. I totally got that and didn't read something into your comments that obviously weren't there.

By the way, I understand your concerns. My two will be 12 and 14 on our cruise. How do I let them go ... have freedoms on the ship when I don't know the ship well, myself? They can self-sign-out and get into teenage troubles. I guess I will deal with it by having responsibility conversations every morning with them. I will probably check up on them a lot... to the point where they'll tell me to go away.

You only have to let your kids do what you're comfortable doing. Every child is different. As one poster said, your kids may not want to be far from you for this reason. Just do your best as a parent and do what feels comfortable for all of you.

 

[belac]

I didn't really think about the drill, but I'm thankful you mentioned it, so I can think about how I can handle it with my own kids, if it becomes an issue.

I told my DS (when he was 5) it was like taking attendance, they needed to know if everyone was on the ship that was supposed to be, and it was a type of fire drill to let us know where to meet the people in charge like at school, that was it. He took it well, but I see where it could have been concerning for older or more mature children, the first time. Now at 9 he knows what it really is and since nothing ever actually happened on any of our DCL cruises, he wants to see what it is like in the lifeboat, even wanted us to ask if he could test one out this last time... Oh those Boys

It is better now, since you do not have to take you in room life vests anymore, just show up at your designated spot and it takes 15-20 mins. I heard many of the parents around us this last time said the same thing to their kids, this is a fire drill. I suppose it is the easiest thing for them to understand because they do that in school.

 

[quickcat]

No, wont ruin your vacation at all. My 7 year old has never went to the clubs by herself. They have times when it's open for families and we do that sometimes but never has she went without us. That's ok, every family is different. Whatever you choose to do will be fine. You'll have a great time!

 

[littlejimmy]

We are those over protective parents... no they are not swaddled in bubble wrap, but our girls (8,5) are never out of our site.

Will this "ruin" our enjoyment and thiers on our trip?

yes

 

[hanscarlet]

Please doN'T be sorry you posted, many understood what you meant and you were fine with your statement.
Similarly for the other poster who needed extra clarification - she too is entitled for additional clarification, I didn't read her first response to you as a jab or implying that you worded it wrong, I took it at face value that she really was asking for additional clarification

Just a side note, I found a lost 4 year old on our most recent cruise and many people were extremely protective of her and the staff has great "lost child protocol"... so God Forbid the worst thing could happen with your kid getting lost on the ship, you can be comforted to know that the cruisers are all used to kids and tend to protect each other and staff is great too. Just be sure to get your kids those magic bands on the ship (required for the clubs) because they have GPS and they can be tracked anywhere on the ship, the staff will know where your kid is at anytime if they have that band on. Unfortunately for this girl that I found, she wasn't wearing one but I saw her with her mom the next day so the staff was obviously able to get her to her parents and she was able to tell us her last name.

 

[Jillpie]

It wasn't easy to let go on the cruise, 10 years ago. And my kids were teens! They were in the inside room across the hall from us, and as a Mom, I never got to sleep until they were in bed. I was the Mom one night at 1:30 am searching the ship. Disney is a great cruise for teens, but I still worried what was going on.

 

[The Sasquatch]

ok I think I was in your exact shoes on our first cruise in 2013. It was a three day on the dream.

I sat on here and read about the kids clubs etc and said absolutely no way, not my kid. She was 6 at the time and never out of our sight and there was no way she would be away from us on a ship!

We got to the terminal and I saw the lines to register for the kids club and said to my wife, what do you think? She said no way.

That night we got on board we decided to go to open house and see what it was all about. We saw the space and met the cast members, got to see the level of security they have in place and said lets sign her up and "we will see". That night she begged us and we said we will let you go for a 1/2 hour and we would hang around the area. Well we came back to pick her up and she was having so much fun doing the activities and meeting new kids we felt terrible. Let me cut to the chase, she loved it so much and we got so comfortable with it, it has become such a huge part of our trips and something she really enjoys. Now that you look back at it, its quite possible the single reason we learned to let go a little and let her be herself without us. Kids need small doses of independence, its great for their development.

Even if you dont let them out of your sight, you will have a great time. I would suggest you give it a try even in small doses.

 

[Ofinn]

Im not a literalist. If ops daughter were 12 and 14, and he asked how do you let go. I would know what he was talking about. At 5 an 8 I wasnt sure why he was trying to "let go". If his kids were homeschooled and truly never out of his sight. I could understand how putting them in a secured kids club could be stressful. When I asked him to specify he brought up wdw and the beach. Why would anyone not keep eyes on their kids at those places. Im guessing his concern is security at the kids club? Although, he never specified that. Not trying to take a jab at him. I was just trying to figure out exactly what his specific concerns are. I dont believe hes ever really said. Hes gotten some good answers so hopefully he was looking for.

 

[lanejudy]

Just be sure to get your kids those magic bands on the ship (required for the clubs) because they have GPS and they can be tracked anywhere on the ship, the staff will know where your kid is at anytime if they have that band on.

Actually, it's my understanding that the wristbands used in the Club/Lab will ONLY work within the Club/Lab environment. I won't argue whether the technology could potentially work ship-wide. But in practice, they are not able to track kids' whereabouts beyond the confines of the Club/Lab.

OP -- you've gotten some good advice. Take your kids to the Oceaneers Club open house on the first afternoon. Chat with the CMs. See how your kids like it. Some love it, some tolerate it, some really do not care to go back. Take your cues from them. You will all have a wonderful vacation, whether spent entirely in each other's company or separate for parts. There is plenty to do for all ages together.

Enjoy your vacation!