BRAVO OP!
I'll start with saying that I have not cancelled a trip because of two of my children. However, YES, I have cancelled trips because of my other two. My two that I have cancelled trips were (are) extremely difficult children. One time, the oldest child started ditching class. (She was warned repeatedly what could happen if she didn't start showing up to class.) The principle told us either she would have to take summer school or take the same ditched class during the next school year. He said the choice was ours to make. We made her take summer school (and she had to pay all the fees associated with it as well!) - actually we told her that she ultimately was the one that made the decision by the behavior she chose. She ended up missing out on a trip to Germany with her cousins and a trip to
Disneyland with her siblings and parents as well. I have never regretted my decision. In fact, about a year ago, at age 34, she told me that making her take summer school and missing out on those trips was the best thing we could have done.
Often when we had either outings or trips planned and one or the other of my difficult children were acting up, that child stayed home with one parent while the other parent went with the other children. (That is why we always purchased trip insurance.) Yes, it did punish DH and myself but it didn't ruin the outing or trip for the other children - and yes, that one child would have RUINED it for all the others.
The three children that are now adults have said they appreciated it when things got cancelled because of behavior. My two children who were easier to raise said they made sure to shape up when they were told to because they knew their parents meant business and would follow through with any threat that came down the pike!
The OP's children were told to clean up after themselves and no bickering with each other. They chose not to follow what they were told and they knew what the outcome would be so they chose to not go to DW. It was the children's choices!
Children need to learn that if they don't follow the rules, consequences will happen. Everything in life is consequences and rewards. Just imagine if at your job you decide you aren't going to do something your boss repeatedly asked you to do. Would you have a job anymore? - CONSEQUENCES! Are you happy to have a roof over your head and food on the table? Thank your paycheck - REWARD for doing the job! Want to enjoy a drink at dinner? - REWARD. Getting raging drunk and getting behind the wheel and then getting arrested for drunk driving - CONSEQUENCE! That is life! I would much rather my children learn consequences when the choices they make won't impact the rest of their lives even if those consequences are (in some people's eyes) harsh.