What you're saying sounds like the opposite of what the original post is saying. The original post has the following:I'm really wondering if the person was just clueless. I mean it sounds like they knew they were attending the after party. If they knew the bride/groom, they would have shown up for the wedding to begin with. So they were showing up for the party, (probably one the few that were there for social reasons and not the food and booze) and my guess is that they just missed a memo about the charge...and again, if they were there for the couple, they would know about the set up going in.
But even given that, I'm just not even seeing why you'd whip your credit card out at the door for something like that. Like why even pay it. Turn around and go home. I don't think you even need to bother to be annoyed. Unless maybe if you were genuinely there FOR THE COUPLE, and then I'd still not pay and explain to my friend (bride or groom) afterward why that policy cost them my presence.
But my guess is that "old college friend" had not been part of their lives in quite sometime, so in my case, that invite is going into the trash to begin with.
Not sure what I'd do if confronted with a situation like this.
A fantasy would be to pay the admission cost, eat and drink, then cause a scene denouncing the tackiness of it all. Maybe have DH pee all over the Barbequed ribs. But I doubt I'd have the nerve.
I agree with you on this point. If you can't afford unicorns at your wedding, leave them out.
But, again, if YOU don't want to have a party and charge people, good news, YOU don't have to.
Cluck cluck and grab your pearls all you want, but leave us out of it.
I can't afford to buy the pearls I deserve to clutch. Please come to my soirée so that I can afford to buy the pearls worthy of my judgment. The cover price is very reasonable.
I need to know about your prizes first. Then we can talk lol
Not that. I would get something big to write on and stand out front with sign saying. Food and drink free. Cover charge $104, no exception.
That kind of sounds like an old fashioned bachelor party from down here. I don't have a problem with the because it sounds as if that's the norm in your area and people know what to expect.Man, I am about to blow you guys away and have pearl clutching go up by 100%.
Where I live (Manitoba), it is standard to have a party a few months before the wedding to help pay for it. It's called a social (you can even Wiki it)
Tickets are $10 and there is also a huge silent auction (grand prizes are tvs, fire pits, bbbqs..higher ticket items) regular prizes are kitchen themed, movie night basket..that type of thing. You also pay for drinks (mix is free) AND there's also a 50/50 and a 'perfume' draw (you can't legally auction off liquor so it's called perfume).
There's dancing and a small speech by the bride and groom to be. There's a DJ and a light show too.
Now, the most important part..attendance isn't limited to family and friends. It's for ANYONE who hears about it and wants to go. All you have to do is pay for the ticket. Usually it's a friend of a friends brother or aunt or something but I have been to many socials for people I didn't know.
I'm not a drinker but I LOVE silent auctions. Usually I'll put $40 or so on tickets. Yep, I willingly spend $50 for a strangers wedding. Why? Because it's tradition and someone I don't know spent $50 at my social..
It works for us and no one complains.
Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't make it tacky. It just makes it different.
I personally don't have a problem with the honeymoon registries, they seem pretty common these days, the people that I know who have had them had all lived together a long time and didn't need stuff.
I would expect to pay at a shower in a restaurant, but as with any event being clear up front makes everyone happier.
How odd to extend a "plus one" for an event you have to pay for.
Man, I am about to blow you guys away and have pearl clutching go up by 100%.
Where I live (Manitoba), it is standard to have a party a few months before the wedding to help pay for it. It's called a social (you can even Wiki it)
Tickets are $10 and there is also a huge silent auction (grand prizes are tvs, fire pits, bbbqs..higher ticket items) regular prizes are kitchen themed, movie night basket..that type of thing. You also pay for drinks (mix is free) AND there's also a 50/50 and a 'perfume' draw (you can't legally auction off liquor so it's called perfume).
There's dancing and a small speech by the bride and groom to be. There's a DJ and a light show too.
Now, the most important part..attendance isn't limited to family and friends. It's for ANYONE who hears about it and wants to go. All you have to do is pay for the ticket. Usually it's a friend of a friends brother or aunt or something but I have been to many socials for people I didn't know.
I'm not a drinker but I LOVE silent auctions. Usually I'll put $40 or so on tickets. Yep, I willingly spend $50 for a strangers wedding. Why? Because it's tradition and someone I don't know spent $50 at my social..
It works for us and no one complains.
Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't make it tacky. It just makes it different.
Does anyone else think $52 NZD is a very specific number? What, the bride and groom couldn't round it down to $50 and cover the last $2 (one US dollar). Even more crazy.
Is it NZD? I thought mumsnet was a UK forum and was reading it in € not $.
This. When I throw a party, I pay for it.Here's how I see it:
Adults pay their own way.
If they want a big wedding, they work an extra job, have a long engagement, save the money to pay for it. Any and all gifts are extra, money in the bank, maybe a down payment for a house down the road.
But adults pay their own way. They don't ask mommy and daddy, or their aunts and uncles and cousins and friends, to support the lifestyle to which they hope to become accustomed.
Want a big flashy after party?? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it. Want the "type of wedding your love deserves"?? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it. Want to invite people to help celebrate that love? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it.
The comments are all over the place. But this one was so full of entitlement:
"We both have full time jobs, and even with that – we can’t afford a wedding we believe our love deserves. It won’t be flashy and over the top (our hall actually costs less than our social hall to rent!) but, with weddings naturally costing more than my car – I don’t really know how any one expects us to pay for one ourselves.....I think to say it’s all a money grab is kind of ridiculous and insulting to us......it helps someone achieve a wedding they’ve always dreamed of."
Lol! They can't afford a wedding their "love deserves".
And weddings DO NOT cost more than cars. If you choose for your wedding to cost that much and you can't afford it, well you are off to a very bad start.
Here's how I see it:
Adults pay their own way.
If they want a big wedding, they work an extra job, have a long engagement, save the money to pay for it. Any and all gifts are extra, money in the bank, maybe a down payment for a house down the road.
But adults pay their own way. They don't ask mommy and daddy, or their aunts and uncles and cousins and friends, to support the lifestyle to which they hope to become accustomed.
Want a big flashy after party?? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it. Want the "type of wedding your love deserves"?? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it. Want to invite people to help celebrate that love? Wonderful. Then save your money and pay for it.